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My daughter is asking questions about her dad...
My 6 year old daughter recently started saying she wants to meet her real dad (he hasn't seen her since she was two years old except for a brief chance meeting at a friends house a two years ago.) I'm not sure what brought this on, except that I just had another baby with a different man, and he and I share custody, so maybe she's feeling a little jealous that her baby brother's dad is around but hers isn't. I'm no longer involved with my son's father, but we are civil for our child's sake so it isn't like he could be a father to her. But I need to know- do I call my daughter's father and make him have a relationship with his daughter? I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
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Before you do anything I would do some investigating 1st. You haven't see him in years before you call I would make sure that he's on the up and up meaning he isnt into anything like drugs ect...If what you hear is good I'd call him. But I think you need to see him and talk to him for a while before you let them meet again. The last thing you want is to have the reunion and have him bail a month or two down the road that will only confuse her even more. It's normal for her to be curious but you have to try so when she is grown you can tell her I tried and when she is old enough and knocks on his door he can't say your mother never contacted me...
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Children need to know who their parents are, even if at some point they decide that they arent all that great. Certainly, you should call the father. If he is completely opposed to seeing his child, leave it go. If he has an interest, meet him at McDonalds or something and let the child meet him. Go from there.
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Ask the actaul father to be around more not for you but for his child.he helpeed making her so he should pay welfare and maybe have her for weekends.he should have a part in raising his daughter its his lose if he doesnt want anything to do with her which isnt fare cause its not her fault she has a deadbeat dad as i said he helped with the holl in the inpregnant part so!anyone can be a father it takes someone special to be a daddy.I know it maybe hard trying to fill in both places but if you have the money take his butt to court and futher!its not your responibility to fill them in cause you cant.if none of this works then tell her that shes to young to understand,wait till your older and then she can ahve alittle understanding of the issue .
hope i helped
katie
tootsierollsweet
billiejoessugar999@yahoo.com
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My advice to you is to contact your daughter's father and tell him that she is asking for him and wants to meet him; you didn't state what caused and you do not have to however my point is this what ever you do please do not go into what happen between you to because it's irrelevant regarding your daughter having a relationship with her dad; I don't know how old you are but I encourage you to please be wise when you contact him ,in other words be polite and do not attack his Fatherhood remember you are trying to restore or bring about for the sake of your daughter .
What many women has to learn and understand is alot of fathers especially young fathers never saw the example of how a father should be to his children and the Mother of his children; most of them all they ever saw was a father run from his responsibilities and therefore they repeat what they saw unless they break the cycle like my dad did and I'll explain ..
My dad and his 5 siblings lived with his parents who were married but there was just one problem his dad was never there he was only there long enough to impregnate her; and all mature folks know that it only takes one time for that to happen; my dad is the second oldest child so he would know how often his dad was there, he told us that his dad never stayed with them although his parents where married and I am saying all this to lay the foundation to this point; my dad and my mom married when he was 19 and to them was born 4 children ; 3 boys and 1 daughter - yours truly anyways my dad promised that he would never do to his family what was done to him;and he kept his word until the end .
My parents was married for 38 years we lost my dad to reno failure December 4, 1998 although we had to come through this lost God has brought healing and now I use the testimony of my dad to speak into the lives of men & women but especially young men; I tell them that they do not have to do to their children what was done to them and I encourage them tobe the one in their family to break the cycle;and I reiterate that my dad broke the cycle by not doing what happen to him; and I tell them if for whatever reason you can't make it work between you and the other parent learn to communicate the best you can for the sake of the children and do everything that you know to do to be good to your children and I pray that that their children gain my testimony of having parents who was able to stay together with them until the end .
In my closing if for whatever reason the things that each willing parent hope for between them and the other parent doesn't occur know that your life is in God's hand and he will bring someone in your life who will love you the way you want to be loved and they will love your childen as their own this is why it is imperative to wait for the right one .
You will know the right one because they are a builder and not a destroyer
God Bless you and all who reads this
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I think you should call up her real father. talk to him about it see if he would be interesting in spending time with her. like for a weekend or every other weekend. if he says no sit down your daughter talk to her telling her. that her father isnt a bad man he just doesnt want to be apart of this family. explain to her that alot of kids dont get to see there father. and shes lucky to have your dad as a father figure to her. good luck.
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Hi,
What I would do is contact her father yourself. Test the water and see if he would be open to a relationship with his daughter. Don't be forceful about it. If he is interested in it, then take it slow. Only allow limited visits and don't let your daughter get too close until her father has earned her (and your) trust. Then you can take the relationship from there. If he is reluctant, or not interested at all then leave it alone. Don't push it at all, that way you would be setting your daughter up for heartbreak.
I say that because I was raised without my father until I was about 7. Then my father came back in my life and after I got attached, he disappeared. I lived a lot of my life feeling abandoned by him, and it really affected my life.
I am an adult now, 28 with an 8 year old son. About 3 years ago I let my father back in...reluctantly. I made him earn the relationship and kept a safe distance. That way, if he did hurt me again it wouldn't be so bad. It's been 3 years and we are just starting to earn trust and I am letting him in a little more everyday. Things have been great so far, and he hasn't disappointed me or my son.
So it could work...people can change and sometimes they do deserve second chances.
She does deserve her father, but at the same time if he is just going to hurt her then it's better to leave him out of the picture. Always be honest with her and when she is old enough, she will make her own conclusions.
Hope I helped!
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You need to make sure that this man takes responsibility for his daughter. It is simply unhealthy for a girl to grow up without a father. I mean, sometimes it's good t have that strict father there and i think he would be grateful to have a chance with his daughter.
if you need to talk, please email me at: princess.milena@gmail.com
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hey, well i have the same problem. except in this situation im the daughter. im 13 now but my parents separted when i was 8. my father had another daughter with a different mother. i dont think that you should force a relationship between the two because if my mom forced a relationship on us i dont think we would have gotten anywhere. i think you should wait until your daughter is old enough to decide herself if she wants to see her real father or not.
-caitt<3
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What i would do if you know his address is maybe have her write him a letter or even just draw a picture and maybe include something in there about her wanting a relationship because that gives him more of an option to whether he wants it or not because if you call he may feel pressured and overwhelmed. Also maybe you can see if you have another male figure who will always be there like a grandfather to help replace what she isn't getting from her father
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I personally think she needs a father in her life... my dad died when i was her age and growing up without one is really really tough...
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Hi There,
Your daughter has a right to meet her father so my advice to you is that I think you should as if you will be reluctant now it might have negative consequences in the long run when she gets older
Have a think a about it
Do the right thing for your child's sake
Takecare
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I say that your daughter deserves to spend some time with her father so you should really speak to him about being a part of your daughter's life because then you don't want the poor little girl growing up without the feeling of how it feels to have a father,you may regret it.So do what is best for your daughter.
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Hi, your daughters father has obviously made a choice not to be a part of her life. By trying to contact him and pushing a relationship you are opening your daughter up to a world of hurt. Yes it is important for a child to have a father but it is more important that a child feels loved which she won't get from this man. I think that you should sit down with your daughter and explain that her father isn't ready to be a dad, that it has NOTHING to do with her. Explain that you love her and nothing can ever change that.
Also I would point out that if her father makes the first move, you need to make sure that he is there for the right reasons make him prove himself.
When your son spends time with his dad I would turn these days into mom/daughter days and do something just the two of you that is really special.
Hope this helps, contact me if you have any more questions.
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She is getting to an age where she is going to school and hearing other kids talk about their daddy's. That combined with the new baby is bound to bring up questions.
Unless there is a reason not to involve her dad in her life, I would suggest you at least let him know what is going on with her. Tell him she is asking questions and see if he is willing to be part of her life.
If he isn't then you will have to be honest with her about it. Not in a mean way but just so she knows that you tried. It may not mean much right now, but it will someday. You will just have to tell her that some daddy's (not very many) just aren't ready to be daddies and it isn't her fault or yours.
Good luck. :)
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I know that this is a very difficult situation for both of you. I think that it would be appropriate for your daughter to meet her father when she is old enough to remember it in the future. I would also suggest bringing a person into her life that can be like a father to her, whether it be a grandfather or a friend of yours. A father figure is something very important in a child's life, and he should be kind and responsible, whoever he is. Your daughter is going to ask questions that are innocent but difficult for you to answer. She probably already has. You can tell her that she has a father, but he went away for a long time. If that's not the truth, don't tell her that, but tell the story in a way that she will understand. But right now, she doesn't need to know the sensitive things, whatever they are. I hope your situation gets better.
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Yes I think it's very important for a girl to have her father or a father figure in her life, Let me tell why:
because when she get older she will look for that father love in men.
It must relly hurt her to see her brother father communicate with him,
Ys i say get in touch with her father, you can make him be a father, but talk to him nicly and tell him she always ask about him.
please feel free to write me anytime
I hope i was some help to you
Faitheb
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