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Unpopular
I'm not very popular at school and kids pick on me. I don't really know why they do it, it's been that way since 1st grade. I'm in 8th grade now and I'm sick of it. I don't know what I did to deserve this. They hurt me emotionally and physically, should I stand up to them?
Respond please, I'm desperate,
Hurt and confused
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Just hold on and you'll make it through and sooner or later people will start getting thrown out of there "groups" and will turn to you.. but you'll relize they were rude to you so make em beg ;)-trix
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Stand up to them verbally. Not swears...not insults just ask why they are like this. Don't change yourself...don't do something you're going to regret, and if they do something to you again verbally or (especially) physically...talk to a guidance counsler. Eighth grade is hard but I'm so quiet and I mind my own business and the people just come to me...
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I know you're going to get alot of answers saying things like, " What they say/do doesn't matter" and blah, blah, blah. That's true...when you're old enough to know who you are. But the truth is, in the 8th grade...IT DOES MATTER and yes, it hurts. Cool comebacks, and witty responses won't help, I'm sorry. If anything, thatv will make them call you a nerd and pick on you even more. What I would suggest is to simply agree with everything they say about you. That takes all of the fun out of talking about you and picking with you and then it becomes boring. Eventually, they move on to someone else. Hey, it's not you. As for the physical. I'm not going to condone violence, but I AM going to suggest you stick up for yourself. They only do that to feel superior in some way, for their own insecurities. Picking on you makes them feel good about themselves. Once you stand up to them, they losethat ability and that feeling of superiority and once again...it's no longer "fun" for them. There's no "reward" in it. Please.....drop me a line later and let me know how things are going. Good luck.
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Some kids are just jerks. I suggest you respond to them, but don't seem mad or hurt. If they call you a name, respond CALMLY, "Well, I'm glad you think that, but some of us don't like to comment on the flaws of other people. Such as their constant need to hurt other people with shallow insults to make up for their humble non-existance." It will really get them confused, and then they won't bug you for awhile. I'm sorry you get picked on, hon. You probably don't deserve it. Just remember,(if I can quote Jimmy Eat World) "Live your life, just be yourself. I doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else." As long as you're happy with yourself, you don't need other's to appreciate the great person I'm sure you are.
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Yes, I think you should stand up to them and ask why did they do that to you and ask them if they want to be treated like the ways they treated you. Maybe those kids have nothing better to do that's why they picking on you. So, just tell them to leave you alone and do something that make themself useful instead go around the school and hurt people feelings
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I think that kids who are picking on you tend to be like everyone else because they want to be accepted. So what happens is they don't really even think about who you really are, just that you are getting picked on and they don't want to be friendly because they will get picked on too. You don't have to do anything to deserve it. It is like a spiral.
It probably won't do any good to stand up to them directly if they are better "armed" than you. It wouldn't do any good to get physical if they are stronger than you either.
This whole thing can be turned around, though, but it takes time. First you have to find out what you are best at and where you fit in, then develop a circle of friends there, and gain some confidence in yourself. Join clubs or teams or groups where you know you have a chance of doing well. When you make a group of friends, there is safety in numbers, even if your friends are not "popular" either.
If you haven't seen the movie "Romey and Michelle" see if you can rent it. It is a funny movie about two friends who weren't popular.
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Allright heres what you do.......just chill. Act normal and don't try to fit in. Don't be nice to them or they'll know your desparate. You don't want to be friends with those kind people. If someone trys to hurt you phisically, kick thier asses. Fight back. Thats what you do. You have to stick up to yourself. Im not saying to run around and punch everyone that calls you names, but you have to learn to take up for yourself. Trust me, if you just chill, they'll leave you alone.
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Yeah, you should stand up to it. If i know anything about JR High, it is that anyone can be popular, but barely anyone can be tough. I am in eighth grade too and this one group of cheerleaders asked me to sit with them, so i did and they are the most boring people in the world because they would never do anything out of the ordinary. If you have one good friend, it is better than six popular ones, and i am not just saying that. Dont be dorky when you stand up to them though.
Good Luck
Lizzy
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try treating them the way they treat you. once you have some good comebacks, and good moves, they'll get hurt emotionally and physically just like they've hurt you, and they're probably too wimpy to deal with it themselves, so they'll back down and stop torturing you. *thank you for your time*~luckiedice~
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Dear hurt and confuse,
I think you should stand up for yourself because the longer you let them tease you the meaner they are going to get. I also think thats horrible. I'm an 8th grader and I know what it fills like to be made fun and teased. It hurts. But after I stood up for myself, and told people to back of the teasing quit. GOOD LUCK!
~Elle~
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wut eva you do DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID!!!1 its not ur fault there the ones who have parents that arent around and dont care bout them so its not your fault its just there way of gettin attention and everything will change in h.s. just hold on until then
tt4n
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This is a BIG one, and it's CRITICALLY important that this be handled in the right way.
First, it's really important for you to know that this is NOT your fault. Children can be really cruel sometimes, and that's just all that there is to it. Sometimes this is a result of inappropriate parenting, and sometimes it is simply the result of human nature. You see, right or wrong, people tend to criticize that which they do not completely understand, or that which scares them somehow. Therefore, it's very IMPORTANT that you understand that their critism has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PERSONALLY. Now, in your case, I don't know what it is about you, specifically that makes them feel the need to pick on you, but it's obviously something that makes you SEEM different from them in THEIR perception, and as a consequence, they're focusing on that rather than WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
In ANY event, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO HURT YOU PHYSICALLY! PHYSICAL ABUSE IS WRONG, AND YOU COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE IT!
Therefore, my FIRST advice to you, is to tell your parents that you are being physically hurt at school IMMEDIATELY. If they don't do anything about it, or you simply don't feel comfortable talking with them, then go to your school's guidance counselor or Principal, or even an Aunt or an Uncle, but PLEASE TELL SOMEONE! An adult needs to be made aware of the fact that you are being hurt, and an ADULT needs to handle it.
Secondly, my advice for handling the ones who DO NOT hurt you physically, but rather only emotionally, rather than "STAND UP" to them, why don't you try a more "emotional" approach? When they pick on you the next time, ask them, "Why do you say these hurtful things to me, (or about me)? OR "Why do you pick on me all the time?" And then wait for their answer. Then, simply try to tell them that you are no different on the INSIDE than they are, and that it hurts your feelings when they pick on you, because you would rather try to be friends with them. People, especially children, aren't used to this type of honest response because they EXPECT you to DEFEND yourself instead. However, in essence, you ARE defending yourself, and the mere SHOCK to their little brains might just be enough to diffuse the situation and spark a real conversation.
If that doesn't work, don't sweat it. You can't change people overnight. The important thing, is that you like YOURSELF. Whether or not someone ELSE likes you is really unimportant in the long run. People that DESERVE YOUR FRIENDSHIP will like you no matter what, PEOPLE WHO DO NOT DESERVE YOUR FRIENSHIP will not, and that's THEIR problem, and THEIR LOSS, not yours.
Still, I think it's best for ALL of you if you do in fact try to resolve this, and if you can't do that by being perfectly honest with them, then ask your parents to sit down with you and your school's guidance counselor or Principal and try to come up with a way to resolve the problem. Sometimes it takes an adult to get things done, and you should NEVER be ashamed or afraid to ask your parents or your school authorities to help you.
The main thing, is NOT to give up OR give in. No one deserves to be treated badly, and you deserve to have this resolved as quickly as possible.
If you would like to talk to me about this further, please feel free to respond to me, and I will respond in kind. I am more than willing to help you in anyway that I can, and I want you to feel free to talk to me about this at anytime. I'm sure that if we work on this, we can come up with a solution that is acceptable to everyone.
Sincerely,
Samantha
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That's similar to what I went through. But then I started to fight for myself and people started respecting me more once I showed them that I'm not as weak as they thought I was. Next time they make fun of you, just ignore them. If they keep doing it, then say something back. That's how I earned my respect, by fighting for myself!
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I know how you feel because I have lived through the exact same thing. I'm not going to sugar coat things and I'll tell you the truth. The reason why these kids pick on you is because you're different. Not weird, different. As in special, unlike other people. A lot of people tend to have very simple minds, and they are afraid of anything that is different from them. This is why a lot of artists got picked on when they were children, but now they are appreciated by a lot of people. Because believe me, being different is the best thing in the world when you do find people who respect you how you are and who are like you.
You don't have to go through this. I know this is going to sound typical, but you have to tell someone right away about the treatment you're getting. Tell your parents about it. Tell them that they hurt you physically as well and that you can't take it anymore. You could inform yourself about the schools you could attend, and you could go to a school that's not as bad as the one you attend right now.. There's a lot of solutions to your problem and you can get out of it.. If you can't transfer school, an authority figure -has- to help you through this. It can be your parents or a teacher who is nice or a school counselor. Because the kids who do this to you have to be stopped....
In order to be comfortable at the school you are going to, there's a lot of things you can do. Always remember that you can make friends outside of school, and that school isn't your life. School is just like work. It's a place you sort of have to go every day, but it's not your life, and it's not more important than your safety in any way. You can bring books and things you like at school to kill time. Also, in order to avoid the bullies.. There's a lot of things you can do. "know the ennemy" as a lot of people would say... If you know they are waiting for you after school, go to the library and wait until they leave. Avoid them. Don't go to the same places as them. Another way is to stick with people who are going through the same thing as you..
But always remember.. You are a great person and you don't deserve this. And one day, people will recognize how wonderful you are.
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Hey hang in there because it makes you stronger. Im not saying tell, even though in extremes its the thing to do. In High School the situation does change because people can care less, but if you do decide to do something stand up to them if you let it slide they think its ok but if you stand up to them they eventually back off because its not fun anymore..
Cspinoza1
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DO NOT RESORT TO VIOLENCE! switch schools. become a new person. give people reason to like you.
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Some people are just like that. So inconsiderate! Okay you should be nice to them and talk to them. Maybe even go to a counsler or a CM. You dont deserve that kind of torture.
-shay :-)
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Don't respond to them, tell a counselor if things get too bad.
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When they shout insults just ignore them. If they start to hurt you you need to talk to an adult. If they do hurt you try not to fight back. I don't want to say violence is not the answer, because sometimes it is...but don't do things to provole them. If you have to even avoid them...ask to be sat away from them in class.
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tell them to lay off. if they still torment you, talk to a counsler. that's what they're there for.
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Stand up to them. They've got no right to treat you like that. It sucks they way others must put down others to make themselves feel good. Good luck!
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