|
how do I fix I lie once to my boyfriend
I have lied to my boyfriend his car handle fell off so I try to fix it with some super glue he came to my house that evening and asked me if I tried to fix his hand on his car with super glue and I stood in front of him face to face and I said no so he said well I'm going to call my son and see if he done it so you got a hold of his son and his son said no I didn't do it look at the cameras that you have at your house and it will tell who did it. So the next day when he left for work I text him that I did ithe forgive me for that stupid lie but he still broke up with me because I did it face to face if you truly love somebody you shouldn't have to lie to him you should tell them the truth what should I do I asked him for a second chance but he's not listening or even talking to me
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You did a brave thing by telling the truth afterwards. Just give him time. If he likes you, he will come back to you.
]
In my opinion yes you shouldn't lie in a relationship. But he's over reacting. He should understand you were afraid to tell him you did it. It's understandable enough and not only that you did come out and tell him the truth. That took enough courage and it's not like he's never lied in his life. Everyone lies at some point in life. But if you want him back just explain you were afraid of him getting mad and that's why you didn't tell him and promise him you'll be honest with him about everything from now on. Maybe write him an apology note. But if truly loves you, he'll forgive you eventually. Hope this helps
]
Ok, there are a lot of things that come to my mind.
First, no, you shouldn't have lied. But why did you lie? You didn't force the car handle off, did you? Were you afraid of how he would respond to something that was not deliberate? If so, you are better off out of the relationship.
Second, you are right that if you love somebody you shouldn't have to lie. But you should also have forgiveness. This is such a small thing to not forgive, especially when you came clean and asked for forgiveness. He left you over something small, rather than giving a chance for forgiveness. You are better off out of the relationship.
Third, you have asked this question many times over the past week. One of those times you got about 20 responses. You rated only a few of them. The ones you rated highly were the ones where they told you to try for a second chance. So, if that is what you want to hear, it is what you want. Ask him for a second chance. Just know that I think it is a mistake and you are better off out of the relationship.
]
Sometimes we get scared to tell someone something so small because the outcome becomes so big. But if they are not able to forgive you for something so small then they are either hiding something or have their own insecurities. What you have to decide is that if this person is not a forgiving person are they someone ever worth forgiving when they do things wrong. We all make a mistake but this is not one that should determine the outcome of a relationship. Was he dating you or dating his car? Never be a second option especially to an automobile. Appreciate yourself better than that!
]
The guy sounds like a real dic#head.
I am not sure why you want someone that you have to walk on egg shells around.
Friend, if that is all it takes for him to break up with you I promise you the lie you told is not the real reason he is breaking up.
Something tells me that this man may be seeing someone else. When someone is picking at everything ya do or making mountains out of mole hills then that person is up to something, but they will blame you. I Hope I am wrong but I'm not.
A lie is in fact a true insult to the other person in the relationship. You were trying to fix something , it's not like you cheated. It is true though that if you cannot believe what your s/o tells you then it's best to cut your ties because it is a good indication more lies will follow.
People in love do not kick each other to the curb for something so small.
If you want him back (no idea why ya would)give him some space. If you act desperate /needy it will run him off faster than the lie ya told. So chill and wait. You already said you were sorry so do not say it again. Go on with life and be happy or fake it cause then he may return. They can't stand it if you recover quick and appear happy. In the meantime you may realize you are happier without Captain Paranoid.
]
You have to think of a way to gain his trust back. That is the hardest thing to gain back it takes time and he may never forgive you. I'm sorry I hope you can think of away to gain it back good luck
]
Trust is like glass hard to make easy to brake.
Give him time.
And next time tell the truth because it would be more worse if you hid it.
Ask help from Angel Chamuel
He will help you
]
Hello. Lying to your other half (or anyone for that matter) can be a bad thing as you have seen first hand and usually it's because its either just not worth it or it will eventually get found out anyway. From my perspective I can sort of understand your boyfriend being a bit upset at the fact you lied (it's not what you lied about its the fact that you did it right to his face that he is upset about) and I think anyone in his place probably would be too. Give him a little time to cool down and then try and see if he will talk to you. Just try explain why you lied and ask for a second chance. I can't say if he will give you this second chance but at this point if you have really learned from this then I think you deserve a second chance to show this but it really will be down to him and what he chooses to do. There may in effect nothing you can really do other than just talk to him to explain your side of things and hope he is willing to put it behind you both and try again. If he is, just don't lie to him. As a couple he needs to know he can trust you just as you need to be able to know you can trust him and a big part of that is being able to be honest with each other.
]
You can only apologise for not telling him the truth straight away, which you seem to have done already. And he has refused to accept the apology. It's true that nobody likes being lied to. I don't. I certainly wouldn't let a lie from like this (which is all about a car handle at the end of the day)make me break-up with a girl I loved. The accident happened, probably would have happened WHOEVER used the handle at that moment, and it's got to be fixed. Fix it and get on with it, wouldn't want it to cost me a loving relationship!
I'd be a bit worried that you felt you couldn't tell me and had to try and hide it. I'd be thinking "Am I that scary? Is she so frightened of me being angry?" It's absolute rubbish when people have the opinion that if somebody lies about one thing then they are just plain 'liars' in general and will lie about anything. Life, and people are just not this simple. It's a childish view of life and human behaviour. He may have this opinion himself. I can only think that you could repeat the apology. Point out that you hate to think of the relationship breaking down over a car handle and a lie you told without really thinking about it. That you always try to open and honest with him and will try to be on even the smallest things, because you see now that any untruths annoy him. And wait. If he's not man enough to accept an apology, forget him and move on. If it's the car handle ITSELF that's really turned him against you, you're better off without him too. He's going to have to deal with a LOT worse, and harder to fix things than this in his life.
]
If you really love him, and think he loves you too, then you really gotta try to get him back. Prove that you won't do something like that again, and say you really are sorry and that you'll make it up some how, and that you feel super bad. Do it face to face though, and you could do something sweet like make him something that comes from the heart like a pop-out card and tell him how much you love him. It seems weird that he would break up with you over one little lie, so maybe you should ask him if this is what he really wants, and if there's a small chance that he still wants you, and if so, then you go for it and prove you won't do it again!
Hope this helps~
]
You cannot control what someone else does, only what you do.
Once trust is broken - it doesn't come back easily. If you are willing to put in the time and show him you will be honest going forward, then let him know that. Tell him you understand that you hurt him when you lied, and that you know it will be hard for him to believe you, but that you want the chance to show him you can be honest.
What he does then, is up to him and him alone. If he isn't willing to give you another chance, then you must find a way to move on without him, and learn from this so that next time you find someone you care about, you won't be dishonest at all.
If he gives you another chance, then just try to remember that he is going to have trouble believing things that you say for a while. But if you continue to be completely honest, that trust will be built up again in time.
Good luck to you!
]
Honesty is very important in a relationship. Telling such a silly lie so easily makes him wonder if you could lie about much bigger things just as well. He is probably feeling like you arent sorry you lied, and that youre only sorry you got caught in the lie. Once trust is broken its hard to build again. Try to talk to him and ask what it would take to prove you are truly sorry. If you love each other maybe you can work it out. If he is this angry over something like this chances are your relationship is just... well over. Its hard to accept but you not only lied to him but you also got his son in trouble by doing so. And parents are very protective of their kids. So you dont just owe him an apology but you need to apologize to his son as well. And next time something like this happens dont try to cover it up with super glue and lies. Go tell your boyfriend what happened and apologize right away. Good luck and I hope it all works out but if it doesnt, you can read advice about heart break in the about me section on my column.
]
Yes we all lie to our significant others, but honestly, you should just move on. You asked for a second chance, and he didn't give you one. Don't try to force your guys' relationship back together. It'll only make him less likely to want to patch things up.
]
Oh!apologize to him,tell him that you were not thinking straight and tell him that you wouldn't repeat this again.
Give him some time to process what had happened. Maybe he you should give him some space and try meeting him face to face and tell him.
The best you can do is apologize. There is not much you can do beyond this.if he understands this, you can work things out and gain his trust. Give him some time,he'll Come around :)
Hope this helps!! :)
]
How long had you been with your boyfriend? This doesn't sound like something that should end a long term relationship, so if you had been together for a long time then he needs to explain to you the actual reasons for breaking up with you. That said, you shouldn't have lied to him in the first place! If this is a new relationship and he broke up with you for lying to him then that is understandable. If you feel you *had* to lie to him about the handle then this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship and you are probably better off with someone else. But you should find out what the underlying reasons are, he owes you that much at least.
]
Hi sweetie!!! I'm so sorry this happened!!
Lying is definitely a big big no no in relationships.
Try talking to him again and explain that you just lied only because you didn't want him angry at you.
If that fails send him flowers with an apology note. I actually tried this myself and it worked for me.
Write on the note "Honesty is not only the best policy. Its the only policy. I'm sorry. Please forgive. I love " something along those lines.
Be brave and be blessed!!
]
I think that we've all been in an awkward situation where we've lied about something and then have to confess the truth. It's not nice. I don't really know much about your relationship (e.g. How long you've been together, if your relationship was happy etcetera). So it makes this a little harder to answer, as if it was a long term relationship or a short term one- then is give you different advice for each scenario... But if it was long term then just give it a day or two to let him clear his head; I know that it's not nice to be lied to but I think he may of blown this a little bit out of proportion. Whereas. If you haven't been dating that long, then he doesn't know you as well, and won't be able to see that this was a long time thing. Did you actually break the handle, or just try to fix it because it broke on its own? But regardless of what happened, it wasn't like you didn't try to if it. So just give it a day- then you need to say this face to face:
I'm really sorry for lying to you, I know that it was stupid, but I just got nervous of what you'd do if you found out, I was just scared and worried that I'd lose you- and I guess that that's back fired; but can you please just give me one more chance where I promise from the bottom if my heart I will be completely honest. Please, I don't want to lose one of the greatest things to happen to me in my life.
And if he doesn't take you back after that then I'm afraid there's not much else you can do...
I hope things work out, and I hope this helped!
Lea Wills x
]
You shouldn't have lied but this does not seem to be an unforgivable offense. I think perhaps he wanted to end the relationship anyway and he is using this as an excuse. No one breaks up with a person they care about over something this petty. If he can't understand this and forgive you soon then he is not the one.In the future do not lie to someone you love and care about for any reason!It isn't worth it!Good luck!
]
I think that you shouldn't have lied because, it just blew the situation out of proportion. It wasn't that BIG of a deal to begin with. And even though you lied the situation still isn't something that can't be fixed or worked out. Since you lied to him face to face, you should apologize to him sincerely face to face and reassure him that you won't do it again. If he doesn't forgive you after that, then there isn't much you can do about it and that's just that. Sorry to say. Hoped that I could help. Thanks.
]
You should not feel like you have to lie, especially over something that could have happened to anyone. The fact that you did shows that you're AFRAID of this man. I don't know the dynamics of this relationship but it can't be healthy if you are afraid of him over something like this.
If a car handle falls off, there was obviously something faulty going on with the handle already because, that should not happen. The fact that it fell off when you grabbed it was coincidence. It could have happened to anyone. You being afraid to tell your boyfriend when you did nothing wrong, is scary!!
You should not try and get back together with this person. It seems like he blames you and punishes you unfairly. This is a type of abuse! Seriously think about it... Dose he shame and blame you over accidents? Does he use accidents to control you and make you feel bad about yourself? If you answered yes, to either of these questions, you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship.
You should never be afraid to be honest with your partner over something like this. RUN AWAY! This guy seems like bad news.
Take some time being single, treat yourself nicely with compassion and understanding. (That is how your partner should treat you.) Try and surround yourself with good people. People that are understanding and kind. Don't date men that blame and shame you. If you are afraid of being honest over a harmless accident, you should not date this person.
Be good to yourself, you deserve to be treated with compassion and understanding.
Good luck honey, I wish you the best :)
]
Some people who have been burnt before or seen parents or others they care about burnt in a relationship, will have a low tolerance for something like that, and after the first exhibit of something they can't tolerate, they give no second chance. As a woman burnt by husband in 1st marriage, there was a lot of sh%t I wasn't going to tolerate. On my 3rd date with one guy, he did something that was a no no on my list and I never went out with him again. I had another guy write me on a dating site and lie to me. I caught him contradicting himself as to what he told me from day to day. Things he liked and such was the opposite a couple days later. I asked him why this was so, not accusing him of lying but he came unglued and said he had a right to change his mind if he wanted to. No it was more than that, he was a habitual liar and I didn't have to meet him and start dating to find out. So in a way I can understand his point of view.
If he wont listen, there's nothing more you can say or do. Just learn from this situation. And that is what dating is about, learning from each dating relationship and improving on the next one.
Now I dont know how long you've been dating, but eventually over time, we build trust in each other. If the handle fell off, handles don't come off that easily so something had to be wrong to begin with and you shouldn't have felt guilty or scared about it unless he's already proven himself to have a short temper or jump to conclusion and you feared what he would do to you when he discovered the handle fallen off. If he is the kind of guy whom you'd be so fearful of his reaction to the news, then you were not with a good guy to begin with.
]
First, you must realize that your boyfriend feels badly treated, deceived and regarded as a person who doesn't deserve the truth. The lie has caused him to be frustrating and uncertain about continuing the relationship if he must be wary of suffering harm because you may be likely to lie to him in the future.
Second, is the understanding that not everything can be fixed. Your boyfriend may feel that for all intents and purposes, the relationship is over, there's no way it can be fixed and he's not interested in making it work.
However, fixing it is worth the try, if the relationship is truly meaningful. What I suggest is writing a sincere letter of apology. Do it right. Take your time and when your finished take it to the post office and send it to him special delivery, return receipt requested. This may impress him of how important the message is to you.
As someone who has made any number of offensive mistakes myself towards others in my life, I'm expert in framing apologies. You may use the following as a framework for your own letter if you wish:
Dear___________:
I understand the gravity of what I've done, my actions have filled me with self-loathing and remorse. It's difficult for me to look in the mirror and I'm not proud of the person I see there when I do.
I have no excuse for what happened and saying "I'm sorry" hardly seems adequate. But if you would forgive me this time, I promise you, I will never lie to you again, ever. Both the suffering that I've caused you and the misery I feel now show me that lying to you caused too much damage to both of us to ever want to do it again. Whatever I thought I'd gain by this foolish act has disappeared like a wisp of cloud under the noonday sun. All that remains is guilt and a stronger resolve to be not only the girlfriend you want me to be and to be the girl that I want myself to be.
I know it may be difficult to believe right now, but I really do love you and have honestly never loved anyone else. In the past, we've become so much a part of each other's lives that I really can't imagine my life without you anymore. I don't think it would benefit either one of us to give up on this relationship yet because we've both invested so much of ourselves into it already and our good times have far outnumbered the bad. What few problems we've had in the past have been minor and we've been able to work through them with very little trouble.
I know I'm really expecting a lot to ask you to continue on with me but the alternative is too painful for me to even consider. Please remember the good things we've had already, as well as all the good things that are still out there waiting for us to discover. I promise you I'll be a faithful and honest companion who has learned my lesson and is more determined than ever to make you happy and stand by you as long as you will have me.
I'm hoping that you will get in touch with me as soon as you can so we can have a serious talk. I can only hope...
]
Give him some time, and then contact him again.. may be a week or two
]
More Questions: |