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So...I have a guy-friend who I've developed feelings for...(I'm putting this in the "friendship" category because he is taken, and I've made it clear to him that I have no intention of trying to break them up, I just think me liking him might be relevant in some way)
Anyways...after he asked me whether or not I liked him, he told me it was okay and that he understood and that we would still be friends...we talked, texted, hung out quite a bit...and then he just stopped. He vaguely told me he was upset about something, but nothing more...I've tried to break the ice a few times, but I have not been badgering him or making him feel like he is obligated to me or anything...I DID tell him he could talk to me about it if he wanted, but has said nothing to me at all ever since.
What the heck?! We were getting along so well. It just sort of...happened. One day we were hanging out, and then he just stopped all contact with me. I really miss him. =( I never put any "moves" on him unless we were jokingly flirting with each other...but I do that with a lot of my platonic guy friends...I honestly don't think there was anything I did wrong, but perhaps some of you might have experienced something similar? Please tell me what would cause this kind of behavior... (link)
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Hi,
I assumed that when you said "Anyways...after he asked me whether or not I liked him, he told me it was okay and that he understood and that we would still be friends", it meant that he is aware that you do like him.
I have had such experience b4; with me being in your position, and also with me being in the position of your guy friend.
From my personal experience. I feel that he is avoiding you because of a few possibilities
1) His gf doesn't like the idea of you two hanging out together. Athough you may tell him that you have no intention of breaking them up, but sometimes, such words do not provide assurance to his gf. Put yourself in his gf's shoes: would you like it if your bf had a friend who was like you?
2) He doesnt want to risk falling in love with you because with more time spent together, the deeper and more complicated a relationship goes. It may be possible for him to be okay with it now, but he might've felt that he doesn't want to risk losing his current relationship or that he doesn't want to risk being stranded in a situation where he has to choose between two girls.
I would think that its best if you let him think through it and leave him be for now first. If he is ready to contact you, he will do so. After a while has passed and if you still have not heard from him since, you could drop him a friendly hi and ask him wats' up, and see how he reacts and you go with the flow from there on.
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I have a very strange question to ask..but please bear with me.
Let's say a guy has a girlfriend that's really ugly. And I know I'm prettier than her. When he shares her pictures and puts her pictures up and is so proud of them...does he realize that she's ugly? or is he so glad that he has a girlfriend that he doesn't care WHAT she looks like, as long as she "belongs" to him. And in this case, he thinks she's the most beautiful girl in the world?
Because it's getting annoying. This guy makes fun of my pictures, when I know I'm SO much prettier. But when he puts up her ugly pictures, he praises them. What am I supposed to say? It annoys me that he makes fun of me, when his girlfriend is disgustingly ugly.
I know it's shallow. =/ (link)
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Wow that's a pretty mean thing to say bout her. I don't think he puts the pics up cos of the reasons that you stated above.
Whatever the case is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people think jessica alba is hot as hell, while some actually say she's ugly. Same thing for Susan Oh. I think she looks horrid. But there are tons of other people out there who thinks she's beautiful, not in a physical way but beautiful in the way she carries herself and all.
You think his gf is grotesque. But that doesn't mean he has and must share the same thoughts as you. He may have thought the same thing as you b4 he got to know his gf. But i guess love is blind and he chose to look at her inner beauty rather than her physical appearance. If he likes to make fun of your pictures, then let him. Why bother? You know you're pretttier then ok fine. Very good for you.
You can't please everyone. Everyone has their own mouth and they're entitled to say whatever they want. They wanna be irritating and mean? Let them. What's the point in trying to argue over this issue?
The worst thing in the world is having a bad character, not an ugly face.
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Okay, i'm trying this new thing were everyday i think of the good qualities of myself. And it seems to be working, i am more confident in everything! So then everything is great, until i get to school. I Love my friends. But all they do is put themselves down! One of my friends the other day, all she said almost all day was "Im Fat. I need to lose weight." and i kept telling her she doesnt. But when she keeps saying it, i feel the need to put myself down aswell, like say, "No your not, i am". And i want to be able to stop doing that. I dont know if this question makes much sence, but i tried. What im bascially saying is, How can i get myself to stop putting myself down infront of friends who put themselfs down.
lol that didnt make sence XD (link)
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Putting yourself down isn't the only way to make them feel better bout themselves.
You should teach them to be confident, the way you taught yourself to be confident. Making people feel confident isn't bout comparing yourself to the others and trying to outdo one another. If you were to see putting yourself down as a way of bringing up their self esteem, then you're only helping them momentararily. Once your friend mixes around with other people, she'll start complaining again and wat you did last time will encourage her to expect that the others should also put themselves down in order for her to feel better. I know this sentence is a bit long and hard to swallow. But I hope you get what I mean.
You have to tell yourself first that by putting yourself down infront of them, only makes them feel better temporarily and what's worse, it makes you feel even lousier.
Next time, rougly ponder over what you're gonna say when your friends start putting themselves down. Tell yourself not to degrade yourself infront of them. While pepping them up, if you feel that you're gonna start degrading yourself again, then keep quiet. Don't say anything. Silence is golden at such point in time. Keep encouraging her and tell her, if she feels fat, do something, complaining isn't gonna get her anywhere. Tell her what her good qualities are. And keep reminding her of those qualities instead of bringing yourself down everytime she feels sorry for herself.
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I'm 16/f, my best friend is 16/m. Usually we hang out 3-4 times a week, and if not he calls pretty often. It's been 11 days since he's called once or even hung out. Finally he shocked me by coming to my door today, because I didn't answer any of the phones when he called today because I've felt hurt. I asked him why the hell he hasn't talked/hung out with me and so long and he said "he's been busy". Yeah, he's been busy hanging with the same person for 11 days, I know for a fact. I asked the other guy he hung out with, and that's all he's been doing. Hanging out with his other friend. That's fine, but I mean he's too BUSY to take maybe 1 minute out of an 11 day period to fucking call? Can anyone tell me what kind of message he's trying to send me here? Is he trying to say he doesn't want to see me as often or what? I'm just trying to understand this. Thank you. (link)
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Hey whoa..cool it. He feels sorry for not calling you and it's really nice of him to show up at your door. So for one, I'm very sure he doesn't wanna give up on this friendship. Cos why in the world would he even bother looking you up if he doesn't give two shoots bout you?
Maybe he has he's own reasons for not contacting you? You should ask him exactly what you wrote in your qn. Ask him why can't he even take out a min or two to call you. You have the right to ask him that.
I, for one, can't tell what kind of message he's trying to send here. But I'm very sure that he still wants to keep the friendship.
If he doesn't wanna tell you, then let him be, the more you push him, the more he's gonna snap. I'm very sure each and everyone always have their own reasons for doing something, esp if he's your friend. You should trust him and trust yourself more. Why in the world would he do things to harm the friendship between the two of you? I don't see any need for him to do that.
Go talk to him. That is the best advice I can give you.
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i used to be pretty good friends with this girl i met this year, and then we got in a fight, and i havent really talked to her in the past month, though we're in a couple of the same classes.
its a long story, but i'll just say a little. like i guess we clicked because we were both in the school's musical, and our characters were together alot. so we became friends, and once we had a little fight, then we became friends again, and we never spoke of the fight again.
then, like we sit in the same table for Health, with 3 other girls. Then soon after health started, and the last marking period (im in 7th grade in middle school btw) she's been acting strange around me. she's like making it seem like im not part of the group and acting like its a joke.. and im like "im part of your group" and shes like "no you arent" and stuff.
i didnt get why she didnt want to be friends with me anymore, because it was so sudden. also, i didnt know how to handle it because i've never lost a friend before like that. usually i lose some friends because i dont see them much anymore, but i hardly ever got in to fights with my friends. i was distressed about this, which caused me to get poor grades on two tests i had after talking to her, and her getting to me.
i know i shouldnt care so much about it.. but i guess its the past now, and i cant change it. and I can forgive easily, but i dont forget. anyways, the main problem is that in health, i dont really wanna sit at that table anymore. i only sat there for that girl, and also another girl (lets call her Jane) who was also in the musical with me, and who i hung around with at alot gym for the 2nd marking period. I thought we were really good friends, but it seems like we're drifting apart.
I'm mad, because that girl who i thought i was friends with (to make it less confusing, lets call her Susie) seems to be malipunating(SP?) Jane and the 2 other girls at my table, to not like me. Two of them I was already not friends with, but before the fight i was okay with them. one of them was like a social outcast before, and i was generally nice to her, but now she's being accepted by the people at my health table, and i seem to become the outcast.
like i've already said, i felt real bad about it. like we have group projects where we talk about stuff, and Susie is like the "boss" and the other girls listen to her, and when i say something else, they act all mean and dont want to listen to my opinion.
I asked Susie why she was mad at me, she wouldnt tell me, so I asked one of my friends to ask her, and she said that I kept hanging around her, and interrupting her when she talked to other people. Okay first of all, i didnt hang around her all the time, and when i did, its because i thought i was her friend, and when you see your friend, you dont just ignore them, you go over there and talk to them! and for the second part, its a bad habit of mine, but she should have told me before.. she never mentioned it, so i never really noticed. my other friends just accept that im like that, though im also trying to change it so its not too rude, since i am kinda impatient.
so then at the table, after sitting there during the last 5 mintues where we were allowed to talk freely, quietly, and seeing as the other people at my health table giggled and talked, I asked her if she wanted me to sit at that table. She said no. I asked the other girls, and they said they didnt care.. even Jane! They said that they were just gonna agree with what Susie said! I cant believe that.
so then i asked my other friend at a different health table if i could sit with them, and she immediately said it was okay. but the next day i felt kinda weird at just leaving the table.. i wanted to, but i wasnt ready. i didnt just want to join the table and then the other girls be like "why is she sitting there?" i mean, im generally friends with them, but they're kinda more popular than i am. not that im like terribly lacking self esteem or anything, its basically a fact, and im not THAT spontaneous to just do that without thinking.. (though i do speak before i think sometimes, thats different).
so then i asked another girl i was friends with at that other table if i could sit there, and i told her that i wasn't friends with Susie anymore, and she said it was okay too, since it was a free country and all. so then the next health day i took the risk and sat there. There are 4 seats at that table, but normally 6 people sit there, since 2 other people add chairs to the side. Adding me, that's seven. i thought there may not be enough room but one of the girls sat at a diff table. i thought it was because of me, but my friend at that table said that she was in a little fight with one of her friends. (atlease she made up with her!)
when the other girls from my previous table came to class, they asked if i was gonna sit with them, and im like "Not today!", and that was that. i didnt even glance over to that table even though i wanted to see Susie's expression.
anyways, do you think i should continue to sit at my "new health table" for the rest of the marking period? i really want to, because the girls are funny and i'll actually enjoy sitting there than my other place. but.. like.. do you think they'll find it weird if i start to sit there everyday? or should i just screw the possibilities and sit there anyways? and should i make friends with Susie again?
like this is another thing that happened. i was sick and going to the nurse during spanish class, and I asked one of my friends, who's also friends with Susie (they were walking together to spanish, like always), if she could tell the teacher that i will be at the nurse's office. While I was saying this, Susie was like "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO" repeatedly, with a little grin on her face as she said this. I said "i wasnt talking to you" very professional, and my other friend said she would.
however, we had a field trip to go to some place, and i talked to that friend of Susie's & Me again, and they were partners for that trip, and all of a sudden Susie started talking to me. im like.. what the heck? how could she forget what happened before? i just played it cool and acted like myself though, and not like "HOW COULD YOU ACT LIKE THIS WHEN YOU DIDNT EVEN SAY SORRY ABOUT BEFORE!".
i dont even know if i should say sorry or if she should. or should we both? she hurt my feelings.. im not sure if i hurt hers and i kinda dont care.. i hope she doesnt feel the same about me. but if she doesnt apologize i dont think i can fully be her friend again.. should i even bother?
should i sit at that seat for the marking period in health? should i try to be friends with Jane again (I really liked being her friend before)? And please say other things that can help me.. just be happier!
i mean im normally a happy, energetic person, or i just keep things bottled up inside me all the time, so it seems like it. how can i also make myself less shy, and more like self assured?
Gosh you guys are saviors. whenever i have a problem i dont know how to fix, i always think of asking my mom, or advicenators for help. i love this site. (link)
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Oh wow. This has got to be the longest question I've ever answered.
Number one. If I were you, NO, I won't say sorrie to her. No way I'd say that. Wat the hell she's a slut. She enjoys feeding on people's sadness. She enjoys seeing you down and out, and friendless.
Let her be the one to apologise to you. You didnt do anything wrong. You're too nice for your own good. I can tell you, the moment you apologise to her, she's gonna walk all over you again. I've seen too many of these people.
You're enjoying yourself with the new group of friends from the new table. Stick with them. They're fun to be with, they're nice to you, they accepted you knowing you're down and out.
The old table, on the other hand, ditched you and still got the nerve to ask you if you're gonna sit with them. It shows that they enjoy putting you out. Why are they even asking you to join them when they are treating you like an outcast? Apparently they enjoy seeing people look pathetic.
Go with the new table. At least you know they won't backstab you and turn against you like how susie and all did.
Yes, you like Jane a lot and you wish to befriend her again, but what did she do to you? She turned against you for susie. She can do it to you again. Once a leopard always a leopard. That mean streak will always remain in those group of girls. That's my belief. I always believe that a leopard never changes its spots.
The old table of friends are good as acquaintances but not as confidantes. They're good for having fun and that's all. These group of people are afraid of confident people. Once they see you're weak, they catch on to it and hammer you right down.
And they're the type where the more attention you want from them, the more you won't get it. Let them come to you. You go ahead and work on your new table of frens. They sound like the type I'd rather hang out with. Don't care if the other old table is popular. They aren't worth hankering after. They will only make you miserable.
Once you mix around with the right group of people, you'd naturally be less shy and more self assured. Making yourself less shy doesn't just depend on yourself, it depends on the group of friends you hang out with and how much trust they deserve from you.
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OK, onne of my closest bffl's is getting on my last nerves. She's always saying that she is getting more guys than me. GRRRRR, its driving me nuts. Just because she has a bigger chest than I do and atracts older guys, doesnt mean she gets more guys than i do, right? I dont know, all i know is that im tired of her always bragging. If she wants to act like a slut and bitch , fine. But what should I do about the problem. I DONT KNOW IF I CAN TAKE ANYMORE. Can someone PLEASE help me?!?!?!?!?! (link)
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I used to have a friend like this and it sucks. She keeps telling me my head's too big, my taste sucks, only fat ugly guys will like me, I look like a nerd, bla bla bla. Pshht. *shut up man*
If she starts saying tt again, tell her off. "yea but you attract old man while all the cute guys come to me." Don't show her your anger or she'll take it as jealousy. Seriously, just ignore her or say "tsk" and frown at her with irritation. What she craves for is attention; so dun give it to her. When she starts on this topic, answer her with one-word only or dun answer at all.
Or you can tell her things like "Ok so what do you want me to do? You're not exactly gonna win my admiration with tt kind of talk you know."
Everytime a girl does that to me, I'd just think she's actually insecure. She needs to voice out what she wants people to think of her. When we're confident bout certain aspects of ourselves, I doubt we'll brag bout it unless we feel that it's at stake. So in actual fact, she could be feeling inferior to you.
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one of my best friends, who also happens to be the guy i like is going out with another . Me and his friend don't really get along, and we don't really like each other. He decided to stay with her and he just stopped talking to me. we used to talk everyday, but now we don't talk at all. is he right to chose her over me? (link)
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Yes you're right, it's not right that he's ignoring you for her. But the thing is, you have to understand that some people would sacrifice love/crush/whatever over friendship. I would do that. I know that's bad. Would you have done the same if you were in his position?
It's always very frustrating whenever such things happen. Guy ditches good friend; good fren gets upset; his gf sooner or later ditches him; he comes running back to his good friend; tells good fren that she's actually the one for him; It's just all so f-ing annoying.
If he chooses her over you, then it really tells a lot bout him. He's not being a very loyal friend isnt he? You've been with him thru ups and downs and he doesn't seem to see things the way you see it. I'm being brutally honest here but it goes to show that you aren't exactly on his priority list.
Learn to deal with it. Forget bout him. Let him come back to you whenever he wants to. I know some people would suggest talking to him. But sometimes, I feel that there's really nothing much to talk bout. His actions already tells me tt he doesn't appreciate me as a fren. I dunno maybe it's just pride on my part but I won't talk to him bcos his mindset is already set as such that it shows his ungratefulness towards you.
I'd go bout doing my work as per normal and I'll pray he ends up breaking up with that girl and come running back to me. In the meantime, I'll push him out of my mind totally bcos he's hurt me. Sorry if that sounded pretty bitchy but it's the truth and tt's wat we all want if we were in your shoes.
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we'll call my friend "janice". well janice and i do alot of stuff togehter, alone with other people. whenever i do something without janice, i try not to make her feel bad and i don't try to make her feel left out. yet, whenever i can't go to something, it has to be the FUNNEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR. like, out of all the times we hang out, the ONE i can't go to is the BEST. it's always like that. she tries to make me feel bad and left out. and she tries to make me feel like because of ONE night, shes ohsoclose with those people now and im on the outside. my question is, why does she do this? its so stupid! and how can i not let it bother me? oh yeah i caaant talk to her about it so dont say that. ok thankss. (link)
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You want the truth? Please stop going out with childish kids like her. Friends are people who want the best for each other and not just think bout keeping only the best for themselves. Like you said, she only wants to have all the fun for herself and she forbids you to have fun. She's not a good friend. Seriously, drop her.
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Well, i have this friend, and well everytime i am myself she gets mad at me for acting the way i do, im not mean im just crazy (thats my personality) and so i feel like i have to be somone else when im around her in order to be her friend. Now she is mad at me again, is it worth trying to work things out AGAIN or should i just noot be her friend anymore, because i have a bunch of other friends that like me for me.
(link)
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If I were you, I'd ditch her. In such situations, there's no point trying to talk to her because her mind is set and that's that.
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why does my frend cares when i cuss? cause when i say the F word shes all"stop saying bad words" and i told her"like you dont say it" and she was all"i say it when people are not around" why does she care when i cuss? is she being a good friend or what? (link)
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It isn't nice to cuss and it spoils people's mood. Imagine if you're feeling really happy and all and your friend meets up with you and starts cussing here and there, you'd be influenced to feel negative as well. In this case, you can't really say if she's being a good friend or not. It's just that it isn't pleasant whenever you hear vulagarities.
Also, it is possible that she doesn't want you to use bad words cos it's not healthy.
People tend to expect others to do what they want but they themselves always fail to do it.
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ok i have this so called guy friend who likes my good friend, my friend knew that he has a crush on her and he knows it too
and him and i always talk about her and i always listen and trying to help him out and he said this to me after my friend told me to tell him:
"friend": she said she likes someone ?
me : yeah
"friend": : ic...
me : yeah
me: ey no meeting in the library for a while
me : cause people are being UGh
me: so annoying
"friend": : well theres no need to talk to you anymore
me: as in?
"friend": : i only talk to you cause of her...
me: icic
me: umm ok then
"friend": : nice knowin you
and he signed out so was he using me? (link)
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What the hell. Yes he is using you. Tell him to phuck off and eat shit.
And tell him "HAHA what a loser, no wonder she doesn't like you"
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Here goes:
I’m 14/f and my best friend is 14/m and gay. We’ve been friends for over a year which is the longest time my bff [let’s call him Chris] has kept anyone as a best friend. But anywhos, I have this very frivolous and talkative personality when I’m around people but that’s a problem…Chris doesn’t want to talk about serious things with me. He goes to 2 other people and that kind of hurts me. But then I can’t blame him but I still want to be the person he turns to when he has a problem and not just a person he sees as all talkative and clumsy. Is there any way I can maybe steer him to talk to me about serious things without actually sitting down and talking to him about it? Thanks =]
(link)
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The thing is, don't change those definitive traits of yours - which is chatty and outspoken. Just try to be more of an active listener instead of an active talker. It'll be good to have a mix of both traits.
When he starts to mention about serious things, listen attentively and genuinely. When you sense that he's starting to talk bout his problems, stay on topic and make him the subject of the conversation. You'll gradually lead him into telling you more bout his problems. Everyone likes to talk bout themselves at (maybe all) times.
Btw, I really don't see how him being gay helps in the question. Haha
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okay so i am redoing my room and i am getting like this self thing on my wall ti out my books on and i had all the clique book and i told my firend she could keep for alittel bit. but now i want them how doi tel her i want them back now??or am i being mean? (link)
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Actually I don't see anything mean bout asking it back. It was from you in the first place. You only told her to help keep it for a while.
You can ask it back nicely from her, and say that she can borrow them again from u anytime she wants.
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i have this guy friend named mark that likes my close friend ericka and my friend knows about it and she reaally doeesnt like him because she says hes stalkerish or obsessed.I gave him advice or cheering him up when he was hurt, he tells me a lot of secrets about it. And of course i dont tell my friend even though she begs me and asks me what he says about her. So one day my friend wants me to tell him not to talk about her anymore to people. and my friend is mean to him and told people that mark likes her.And it made him really mad. so we were chatting online and i told him to not to talk about my close friend and stuff after that i changed the subject and this is the convo.
me:so who pisses you off the most?
mark:guess
me:people who tease you?
mark:and people who tells other people secret
me: oh are you talking about ericka?
mark;sure
me:are u over her yet?
mark:no i was trying to but you brought up the topic
mark:thanks
me:noo i didnt
mark: yes u did
me:w/e start over
mark:dont talk to me anymore
me:why?
mark:dont
me:ok bye
and he signed off on me and he hasnt talk to me because of this i mean what did i do? its really small arguement but i dont get why he doesnt wanna talk to me anymore. Was he using me or what?
sorry its too long and my english is bad
im from Mexico (link)
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Don't apologise. Your english isn't bad at all. Mark is not pissed with you. He's pissed with erica and you happened to be present at the time when he felt horrible bout the whole incident.
He's just venting his anger out on you, but he's not angry with you. You're right in ending off by saying 'ok bye'. Leave him alone for now. Let him cool off first. His self esteem has just been crushed and its all thanks to erica. It's a horrid feeling. Imagine your crush telling everyone you like him and being mean to you. How's that?
I can't conclusively decide if he's talking to you SOLELY just to get close to this girl. But it could be one of his reasons for befriending you. Or you could start talking to him randomly bout anything. But NEVER ever start with "hey areyou still angry with me?" or talk about erica. Cos in both situations, it'll turn out awkward.
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OK, so i have known this girl since 5th grade (im in 9th by the way) and we became best friends in the past two years. lateley shes been getting on my LAST nerve. Usually we help eachother out with problems, or just talk like best friends do, but lateley all she wants to talk about is herself. shes obsessing over guys and everytime i see her she alwasys talks to me about that and only that. when i ask her to help me out with something she says *ANYWAY* and goes on talking about her boy problems. ussually she likes a new one evry week. i tried helping her through them, at first i thought it was a phase but its been 4 months. geez i feel that one day im going to explode and just say SHUT UP ALREADY> its not that i dont wanna help her its just that her boy problems are so immature! something like OMG HE LOOKED AT ME< WHAT DOES THAT MEAN> HE LIKES ME RIGHT> HE LOOKED AT ME SO HE HAS TO LIKE ME!!! its sooo annoying, help me, i really want her to go back to her old self when the talking was 50-50. i just cant talk to her about this because she is uber sensitive about boys so i cant say SHUT UP IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING> i try to be there for her, but ugh...idk i cant take it anymore. (link)
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Ah....yesyes, something that I have done AND experienced before. Maybe you should have a good talk with her? Seriously I know this sounds cliche but it's better than keeping all of it inside you. You won't know when you're gonna burst.
She's behaving this way cos she wants a bf. And since you're her best friend, she's at ease with showing this "desperado" behavior to you. Imagine, if it were you instead, would you go around telling everyone all these? People would think you're damn hard up for a guy.
You can tell her, hey, why do you keep talking bout boys? We hardly talk bout anything else already. I will be straight forward with her since I'm her best friend. And I don't like to beat around the bush cos usually, people don't get it when you beat around the bush. Even if they get it, they don't catch the gist of what you want them to know.
My advice is talk to her, you don't have to be straight forward if you dont' want to.
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so the problem is that I AM A GIRL and i hate other girls. i can't stand them. i think their so weird and discusting. and i am a girl myself. and i only have guy friends. and i only like guys.
seriously i think guys are the only normal creatures in this world. and it makes me so angry hearing girls talking about girl stuff. it's just SO anoying. and when they scream cause they are so excited over something. it always makes me pissed. and seriously i am obsessed with guys. i dress like a guy , i act like a guy a lot , and i only have guy friends , and i am so crazy about guys haha
and i don't get myself.
is this behavior normal? or am i a weird person? (link)
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*shakes hand*
Oh yeas I'm totally like you, except that I still dress like a girl cos I think I suit that style more than the tomboyish look.
Yes! I totally dig what you say. GIRLS SUCK. They laugh over the stupidest shit and they bitch like mad. So don't worry, you're normal cos I'm normal. Bout the dressing like a guy part, its alright. It's just your style of dressing and you like it cos you look good in it.
Guys are cool, guys are funny and they have a much better temper than girls, at least for all of my guy friends. You're normal. You're cool ;)
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why do people say be yourself? but what if they dont like how you act? its just hard to be yourself in public, because some people doesnt accept you who you are. i dont get life =[
(link)
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Yes absolutely. When you're contantly meeting different people in life, it is hard to be the same old self all the time. For eg, if you were to meet someone wacky and crazy, you'll tend to be crazy as well. When you meet mature people, you tend to keep your cool and be more serious.
Yes I get what you mean. I hate it when people always say "be yourself". Quite frankly speaking, I don't know myself. How the heck do I be myself? I have no f***in' idea.
But I think what people are trying to say when they say "be yourself", is to just melt and blend in with everyone else just naturally without trying to change your primary behavior and principles. Say if you're a humourous person, then that humour factor should always be in you, even when you're around serious people. It's just that it may take time for that humourous factor to emerge and come out in full blast. Either way, you'll still remain as that humourous person wont you? I guess that's what it means to be yourself.
I guess the right word should be to "be comfortable" around them, and you'll do fine. I still behave like a monkey and tell jokes around new people. It's just that if I'm with conservative people, i reduce my crappiness and show a quieter side of me.
I just take it that I'm showing a different side of me instead of telling myself that I'm fake whenever I meet new people.
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she's really upset about her compicated life right now,like her boy issues, and family issues like she has 20 years old guy and shes teeager he dont think she knows that she likes him but i think he kinda liked her and he said hes gonna wait 2 years for her. but she found out that he has a girfriend now and shes really sad and she feels like she doesnt wanna go to school anymore because of guy problem and her family problem and i told her "forget about it" but shes said it doesnt work what should i say to her? she also asked me what can she do to be happier? and she said "what do i do about my guy problems?" please help me what do u think she should do? please be serious i wanna help her out thanks a lot (link)
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It's really nice of you to go all out to help her. If she wants to be happier, the first step is to stop wallowing in depression. She has to step out and all the more she has to go to school. School is a place where he won't be there to distract her. It is where all her friends are and where she can laugh and hang out with them to get out of that rut.
She has to understand that there is really no point in not going to school and staying at home under the blanket all day, thinking and crying over him. Tell me, what good can you get out of staying at home and overwhelming yourself with sadness? If she can name ONE good thing bout it, I'd bend down and kiss my ass from between my knees. He said that he'll wait 2 years for her but what happened? He dropped her for someone else. Then I have to say that it IS a good thing she isnt with him because he isn't a man of his word. The worst thing people can break is their promise.
Tell her that life doesn't just revolve around her problems. I'm sure there are other things for her to look forward to in life. Focus more on those for now. Tell her that she can do it. Each and everyone of us have our own problems and she has to learn how to pick herself up and be positive. As for her family problem, you didnt elaborate much so I can't really help you much there. If she wants to be happy, tell her to do the things she likes. Shopping, playing with her pets, watching tv, etc. You can help her as well by being her companion during this period of time.
I can empathise with her when she said she "can't forget" because it is really easier said than done. Tell her that forgetting bout him is not the only option. She can choose to keep herself so busy that he'll eventually slip her mind. Show her lots of support during this period of time and be very patient with her. Because at this point in time, she's at her most vulnerable and her self esteem may be easily crushed. Tell her to brace herself and be strong, and there will always be people out there who are far worse off than she is.
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My best guy friend has this friend that's a girl that I highly dislike. They weren't friends from August til now. I think they're starting to be friends again, which really sucks for me. The reason he stopped being her friend in August was because she would keep bringing him places far away, like theme parks, etc. Then she'd leave without him knowing. I always went and got him, even when it was about 2 hours away. Why he wants to be her friend again I do not know. :/ How can I deal with this? For some reason it bothers me very much, to the point where I cry every night, hyperventilate and what not. I have told him, so what else can I do? Thank you. (link)
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The reason why you are reacting so strongly could be either
1) You are a highly possesive person who doesn't like to share your good friends with others
2) You could have fallen for him
It is very difficult to differentiate between 1) or 2) and I can't tell you if you're 1 or 2.
First of all, accept this reality: It is very difficult to make people do wat we want.
Actually I was thinking, why are you so upset with the girl? Cos you didnt say much bout her except bout the theme park thing and quite frankly speaking, it isn't such a big deal. I don't know, perhaps there are other major things for you to get upset with.
Since you've talked to him bout it already, you should just leave him be. As you've said before, he did stop being her friend for a period of time. That means he must've doubted their friendship. I guess he went back to being her friend probably cos he wanted to give her a second chance. People can get soft-hearted at times.
If she's really such a bad person, then eventually he'll come to realise tt. Everyone will. It's just a matter of time. If you've done all you could (such as bitching bout her and telling him how vehemently you reacted) to prevent him from being her friend and yet he still continues to hang out with her, then it really means that you should give him a break. Just let him realise what a horrible friend she is by himself. Sometimes people need to be slapped in their face before they know what pain is. Also, maybe you should give the girl a chance? Maybe she isn't such a bad person?
She might have been inconsiderate for doing that theme park thing to your best friend but maybe she has her reasons for doing so? Like she probably couldnt find him and got strayed from him while playing in the theme park?
Don't get yourself so stressed up over this situation. You are only making yourself miserable. Him making one more friend doesn't make him less of a best friend to you. Sometimes, we gotta let go and not be so possessive. There's really no harm done to you and his friendship when he hangs out with her right? Everyone has the right to do what they feel is correct. So let him be, don't get so agitated. Since he's your guy best friend, then I'm sure you two share the same beliefs in what constitutes a good friendship. So let him be. Once he realises that the girl's not a good friend, he'll leave her sooner or later.
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ok. if your so called "BEST FRIENDS" never called you, always stood you up with phone calls, and made you feel like you weren't their friend, what would you do? (link)
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I won't hanker after them. If they dun wanna talk to me, hang out with me, share stuff with me and treat me with respect, I'd try to salvage the situation first. I'd try to find out wat's wrong.
But if the problem lies with them and not me, like for eg, if they've found new frens to hung out with, I'd just leave it. No point hankering after them. Try to find out what's wrong first and don't get mad or too sensitve bout it b4 knowing the truth.
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