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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

Let me start of by saying: I would not be asking this if I didnt already feel bad && want to change this. SO please, don't preach.

Down right to the point?
I stole my friend's new 300 dollar digital camera. (reminder: I know it was wrong, no lecturing)

While doing it, i KNEW it was wrong.
When she noticed it was gone, she cried.
It broke my heart.

I know God forgives, but my gut tells me..he won't.

I don't know, I want to send it back to her.
I think I will, as soon as I get her adress.
i CAN'T APOLOGIZE THOUGH. I CANT TELL HER.

I don't even know why I did it.
I love her. Im not jealous of her.
I don't need a digitial camera.
I don't want one.

But I did it anyway.
Just because I knew I could.
I knew I wouldn't get caught.

I'm evil. I'm a really bad person, I know.

Yet, I can't change it.
Here's where I need help.

- appologizing to God for this.

HOW? I knew it was wrong while doing it, I knew the devil was pushing me and God was telling me not to, yet I listened to the devil.
It's happened before. I never learn.
I'll always do the wrong thing.
So what? he's just going to keep forgiving me?

- how do I stop this

any ideas?

- this feeling

even if I give it back, I'll never forget what I did. seeing her cry. knowing how much it meant to her yet still taking it. how can i forgive myself for it? what should I do? I know myself very well. I wont change, I'll do it again. And I wont let myself forget it. I know I'll always feel bad because of this.

AHHH GOSSSHH just help me please, I feel awful.
what should I do? with everything?

this feeling is sick.
I want to die.

Okay, maybe I'm biased here because I'm not religious, but it's not the devil's fault. It's yours. You need to take responsibility for your actions. It doesn't make you evil, you weren't possessed by anything, you just did something bad. It happens to everyone. I stole a huge collection of my friend's comic books, and once I destroyed my mother's shoes with scissors. And I know from experience that if you tell your friend and apologize to her, and return the camera in person, you WILL feel better. You say you "can't", but I know you can! I've done it. Before you expect forgiveness from ANYONE, be it God or your friend or whoever, you need to forgive yourself. And the first step to that is apologizing to your friend. If she doesn't forgive you, well, that's the way it goes--but YOU will feel better because in the end, you did the right thing. =)

-Lea

Well, It's really not at the forefront of my mind right now, Byzantine history is, but I am debating my religious beleifs from time to time. I am floating somewhere between a Deist, an Agnostic and an Atheist. Something that doesn't have some sort of personality cult at its center. I enjoy other peoples' opinions on subjects like this. I can handle being preached to if it's something that you believe, but what I most want is something well-reasoned. I would like it if some people who sport some religious affiliation to tell me why theirs makes sense and why that is something someone like myself should believe. Thanks for your participation - I hope the rest of your day is a blast!

First, some background information. My mother was raised Protestant and became Atheist, my father was raised Catholic and became weird. I was raised nothing; I knew what my parents thought of God, and I knew what other kids thought. My parents brought me to a few different churches, just so that I would have the experience. Looking back on it, I think it would have been cool if they brought me to a temple or something, too, but there probably weren't any in my area.

Anyway, it took me a while to get where I am now, and I'm not even sure about that. There are things I like about Buddhism, Paganism, Christianity, Judaism, etc. It was confusing for a while, because I thought I had to be something. But you don't. Because no matter what my religion is, my morals don't change. I think it's morals that matter more than religion. I have my own personal beliefs and set of morals, and they matter to me--and ONLY me. I don't like getting mixed in with organized religion too much, because people just assume that you agree with them on everything. My philosophy is pretty much "Screw it." =D I'm open to all different religions, but in the end, I'm just myself.

Oh, and thank you. My day WILL be a blast, because it happens to my birthday, and it's for once sunny. I hope you have a fantastical day yourself.

>(^.-.^)<

(that's a catfish)

-Lea

i have heard different things and i could use some good strong opinions (not flames, dont leave me bruised and battered) on bisexuality from a christian standpoint. i fear i may actually have to read the WHOLE Bible (LONG!) to form my own opinion to be honest. i just know alot of ppl interpret the Bible differently.
thanks in advance

Yeah, it's not in the Bible. The Bible was written many, many years before there was a word for "homosexuality" or "bisexuality". Put it this way--you can choose your religion, but you can't choose your sexuality. If you don't like Christianity because you feel it infringes on who you are, that's fine. But there are some Christians I've met who have no problem with bisexuals, and are actually very vocal about how it's NOT a sin. Religion is pretty twisted actually, since all throughout history the political leaders changed it to suit their needs. I personally am not a Christian, but I do know the basics, and I'm pretty sure that Jesus wouldn't have cared if someone was bisexual. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to pray to a God who said I was going to hell for being the way that I am (which happens to be bisexual).

-Lea

It is pretty much impossible for me to empathize/understand people who believe in God and religion. I am fully against both of them, for a long list of reasons that I don't need to go in to. The deal is, people tell me I'm being sacreligous/a heretic/going to hell, but I can't understand where they're coming from AT ALL. To me evangelists and deeply religous people just seem like pitiful, misguided puppets of a nonexistent power. It tends to screw up my relationships with people.... Any advice?

Yeah, I used to be like that, until I met a really awesome Catholic woman who was one of my greatest mentors ever. You probably tend to think that all Christians are close-minded people who force their beliefs on others. And a lot of them are, but that's just a human thing, not a Christian thing. The key is acceptance. It's really not that hard when you set your mind to it. Whenever somebody does something that you don't like, just take a deep breath and say to yourself, "That's just the way they are." I mean, they're people too. I think all people need to be more accepting of each other. It's fine to think whatever you want about them, I'm sure they have their own opinions about you. But we're all just people, and we should try to be good to each other no matter what differences we have. I know that sounds incredibly sappy, but hey, I'm one of those optimists.

okay. i thought that this day, 6/6/06 was the day the anti-christ was supposed to be born. but everyone is saying we are all gonna die today, but the bible doesnt say anything about this. so what is actually happening today?

Well, as everybody told you, nothing is going to happen today. People are just freaked out because 666 is supposedly the number of the beast. I won't go into that any more since many people already have, but I will tell you what is actually happening today. A scary movie called The Omen came out in theaters. It's about the anti-christ. I believe they did that on purpose.

ok i was wondering if magic really works and if it does what is a good website to get some good spells?

Magic is real. It's all around you. Just look at a flower some time, or a baby, or the Moon. That's all magic.

There are some people who believe they can cast protective circles around themselves. If they truly believe in that, then it's probably true, for them. The power of the human mind is amazing. Do you know that we only use ten percent of our brains? Imagine what we could accomplish if we used ALL of it! There are people in the world who have cured themselves of deadly diseases just by willing it!

I believe that every thing in the world has some psychic or magic power. Some people are more in tune to their magic than others, but we all have it. However, it's not like fairy tale magic. Nobody can turn another person into a frog, that's just ridiculous. If that's the kind of spell you're looking for, you're setting yourself up for failure. Mostly, you'll find out how to cast a protective circle. I also think you should learn meditation--it's not defined as witchcraft, but I do think that it has some 'magical' quality. You can also get into tarot cards or oracle cards. Most people suggest Rider-Waite Tarot, but choose a deck that calls to you. I'm partial to the Goddess Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue. (Note: Oracle cards and tarot cards are not exactly the same thing.)

Anything works if you have faith in it.

Be warned! Whenever you get into something like this, you will seek out other people with the same interests. These people could be dangerous, and try to get you involved in a cult. This is true for anything religious--and yes, magic IS tied to a religion. It's called Paganism.

Here are some good links:
http://sophia.smith.edu/asp/ --has some good information for beginners, and some chants/spells.
http://www.angeltherapy.com/ --Don't believe everything this woman says just because she has a Ph.D Mostly, the website is just there to sell you things. But she is the creator of the Goddess deck I mentioned earlier, so I thought it was worth noting.
http://library.thinkquest.org/28111/index.htm --has information on the history of Paganism, and different branches of it.

There are also several books on it. Check your local library and bookstore. Good luck!

I need help about religion. I currently attend a unitarion Universalist church and I am taking the class and all that. Oh yeah and im 13/f. I really do not know what I beleive in. I guess you could call me agnostic, but I do believe that there is a higher power out there. I just dont know what. The thing is, no offense to anybody, I just dont believe that God sends people to hl for sinning and stuff. I really dont know about christianiy all that much, but Im from the south where alot of people are really mean but they think they are such good chrisians because they read the bible. My question is is this normal? I just dont know what to believe and its anoying becuase some people are like "Why dont you believe in god?!" and its really embarrising.

Of course it's normal! You believe in whatever you want. You don't have to believe in any one thing just because someone else says you have to, and you can change your beliefs if you need to. It's nobody else's business what you believe in--that should really be a private thing. When they say that, just give them a funny look and keep walking.

Can you be forgiven for being gay? Is it really a sin? What if you just want to try it and see what happens are you going to be penalized for that? Can someone help me asap.. these questions are for a friend who really needs it

You shouldn't have to be forgiven for being gay. Do you need to ask forgiveness if you're left-handed? If you have green eyes? If you're born deaf, or with one extra finger, or if you have curly hair? No. I know a lot of people say it's a choice, but it's not. Take it from someone who knows. In my early teens, I discovered that I was "bi", and later I decided that it just doesn't matter. Love is love. Attraction is attraction. We can't help who we fall in love with or who we're attracted to. So, I honestly don't believe in "gay" or "straight". I think we're all just people. Though personally, I tend to like girls more than guys. Whatever, that's just what I prefer. I didn't choose it; that's who I am, who I've always been. Your friend can't help what he/she feels, either. However, your friend CAN choose to change her/his religion. Personally, if my religion said that it was wrong for me to be who I am, and insisted that I was choosing to be that way and that I should change now or go to hell, I would say good-bye to that religion. There are a lot of Christians (I'm assuming this is about Christianity, sorry if I'm wrong) who believe there is nothing wrong with being gay, but sadly there are many more who do not.

http://anaphor.livejournal.com/1632.html?page=34&view=501600#comments

You should read that. Show it to your friend, too.

ok i am an athiest i have read many things supportin the exsitence nad nonexstence of god. I was just curious as to why people believe so strongly in a religion or a single god.

When people ask why you don't believe in God, you probably can't come up with a really great answer. You might say, "Because it's stupid." or "Because organized religion brainwashes people and rapes them of their individuality." But most of the time you probably say, "I don't know. That's just the way I am." And you believe strongly in your non-belief, right? When people try to get you to change, it makes you frustrated, sometimes angry. Religious people are just the same, whether they are Jewish, Pagan, Buddhist, Christian, or something else. There isn't much of a reason why people believe what they do. They just believe.

Do you believe in Palmistry?

No. I believe in oracle cards, though.

I am looking for a religion but I want one thats right for me. Can someone tell me every religion out there and what its about? Also for religions that require you to go to church is it possible to just stay home and do what you would at a church and still have it not be a sin?

Every religion? There are a lot of them. And they all have their own individual sub-religions. And just so you know, Wicca and other forms of Paganism aren't really about magic and Satanism doesn't involve sacrificing animals. Paganism is about loving and respecting the Earth, and basically you are allowed to practice it on your own (but it's also fun in groups). So you don't want to go to Church but would rather practice your religion at home? There you go--that's Paganism. Satanism is...I'm not sure about all of it, but it includes self-indulgence. I do know that most Satanists prefer their animals alive. I'm not trying to get you to pick one of those, I'm just giving you new perspective on them.

Now, personally, I like to take a look at all different religions. Then I take what I like about it and try to apply it to my life, but I leave out the stuff I don't like. I think this way is best because I am not conforming to anybody else's beliefs, but I'm not rejecting them either. If you do this, you can always be your own person. Nobody says you have to settle on one religion. In fact, I really don't think that's good because what if later you decide you don't believe in it? Sure, you can convert, but why go through the trouble when you can just practice different religions whenever you want?

Do research. There are A LOT of books on different religions, just go to the library. There are also a lot of websites, but I prefer books.

I don't know which ones would be right for you, only you can answer that, but I especially like Buddhism and Paganism. If you are worried about "sinning" try looking for a religion that doesn't have such a thing. There are plenty of them. http://wri.leaderu.com/index.html has some more information, but I recommend looking at other websites and books.

Ok here is a question that ponders my mind my mind, any ideas about the answer?? Where do the dinosaurs come in the bible?? and also if God existed forever then what was he doing before he created earth??

Well, the Bible doesn't talk about ipods and reality TV, does it? And we know why it doesn't. Obviously, the people who wrote the Bible didn't know about such things because they didn't exist at the time. They also did not know about dinosaurs. It is generally accepted that dinosaurs did exist, so this makes them a bit different than ipods and reality TV, but there were no "dinosaurs" until the 1800s. What the Bible does talk about it is human nature, and that's basically it. That's the only important stuff, anyway. A lot of things that were true in the Bible (for instance, it being a sin for a woman to wear pants) are not true today. However, many things are true today, such as the belief that it is wrong to murder. But I digress. Greeks and Romans have mythological references to dragons and ogres, and there are ancient Chinese records of actually finding dragon bones! I don't think these myths are something they just made up on the top of their heads (nobody is that creative, a writer needs to be inspired by something), and scholars believe that these "dragon" bones were actually dinosaur bones. And they found them thousands of years ago.

Actually, a few people have said that there are similar references to these in the Bible.

Check it out:
http://www.clarifyingchristianity.com/dinos.shtml
http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-c004.html

Im a christian.
But i feel like, i need to do something to make my prayers heard. Or something its really hard to explain, i almost feel like i have no connect with god.
How do i become a "better" christian?
i suppose thats what im asking.

Okay, I may not be a Christian, but I have experimented with many different religions (including Christianity) and I do know how you feel.

That said, I don't think you can become a better Christian. You have to be the best you can be. If you already feel like you're at a spiritual road block, constantly reading your Bible and just praying isn't going to help. Neither is "putting your heart into it" since you're not sure where your heart is at the moment. I think it would be best to take a break. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to get close to God. God is your Father, He's always watching you. God is everywhere, I don't think it's possible to be any closer to Him than we already are. It's not God you need a break from, anyway. It's the religion. If you do something your entire life it is bound to grow old sometime. Try different things, just to refresh yourself. You may try reading about other religions, or writing in a journal. He won't think any less of you. And about your prayers not being heard--did you ever hear the expression "God helps those who help themselves."? Basically it means that you can't just sit and pray and expect God to fix your problems. You have to sit, pray, think about the situation, and then go out and do something about it.

It also helps to not rate yourself based on other people. Just because they seem like a better Christian than you are doesn't mean it's true. My friend can dance better than I can, but I can write better than her. Like I said, you have to be the best YOU can be.

-tasuki

Do you believe that "God" has already planned out our destiny, or do you believe we make our own destiny?

And do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do you feel that's just some clever line a thinker thought up to try to reduce the amount of stress and anger in our lives?

No.

See, your question kind of limits me since I don't believe either one of those. In fact, I don't really believe in anything. I've been known to think up several different ways that we could have been placed on this Earth for many different reasons and then a thousand more things that could happen after we die. A lot of them contradict each other, but that's okay. They could all be possible.

I think that we should all just believe what we feel most comfortable with, and whatever anyone else believes their business. I think if everybody did this there would be no fighting about religion. Unfortunately, I don't see everybody in the world suddenly becoming enlightened any time soon.

Now, the second question. I don't think it necessarily means that everything that happens was meant to happen exactly that way. I think it just means that no matter what happens, (because usually these things are out of your control, say your workplace burns down for example) there is always some way out of it and it's up to you to pick the best way. Like, you might have three choices: become an alchoholic, kill yourself, or live in poverty.

Destiny is sort of a mix between the two--things happen that you can't control; it's up to you to decide what to do next.

I put this in spirituality even though it doesn't really fit...

When I was a young teen I was very active in my church and school. I was in the choir, I helped to organize the children's liturgy, and I took part in the discussions and events that our Catechist organized all the time.

When I was seventeen I feel in love with another girl. For a few months we kept our relationship secret, but eventually it had to come out and my church pretty much ostracized me and told me in no uncertain terms that my help was no longer needed. My relationship with that girl lasted for two years and we are still very close friends. What happened with my church makes me very sad, but I don't regret my choices. I am a bi-sexual woman and I'm not ashamed of it.

The problem is now I am dating a guy and have been for a while. Old friends from the church are suddenly talking to me and being all nice and welcoming again. It's breaking my heart because I know if this relationship ends and I meet a woman I want to date I'll be kicked out again just as quickly. They keep inviting me out to dinner or to mass, (I have kept going over the years but I'm basically ignored by everyone.) Part of me wants desperately to be accepted and loved by these people again, the other part of me is just furious with the way they treated me and the pressure they are putting on me now to conform. Should I just accept this while it lasts or should I maybe say something to these people?

Personally, I think they're hypocrites. Cruel hypocrites. They have absolutely no right to treat you that way. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the point of Church was to provide a place where everyone belonged. Not one person cared enough to even speak to you during those two years. If they can forget what a great person you are and how involved you were because of such a minor thing, then they are not worth it. You shouldn't accept it, because that would be letting them walk all over you. But I don't think you should just leave, either. I think you should tell them how they made you feel. I know it's something we learned in preschool, to tell people when they hurt your feelings, but it does apply when you're older. A lot of people forget that. Try to educate them on homosexuality and religion--the two don't have to conflict with each other!! If it doesn't work, then you really don't need these people as friends.

For the people who are familiar with the band Slipknot, if any of you know the 9 pointed star they use an a symbol, what does it mean? My friend said it was satanic and i was wearing her sweater (which has that sign on the back of it) and i do not worship Satan by any means, does this sign offend anybody?
So can someone tell me what that means?
Thanks!

It's not Satanic at all--it's Wiccan. Wicca is a form of the Pagan religion. Wiccans definitely do not worship Satan or indeed believe in him. Wiccans like to say, "If it harm none, let it be." All the pentacle means is love yourself, love nature, respect all life, and don't hurt anybody. You should check out the Association of Smith Pagans website (http://sophia.smith.edu/asp/) for more info, I'd gladly go on but I'm in a hurry at the moment. But basically, the symbol only offends ignorant people who don't know what it means.

okay i am 14/f in case it matters

okay well you see, my cousins from arizona came up for christmas and new years to visit us. one is 16 and the other is 22. well they came up and they were staying at my grandmas hosue. well i wanted to hang out with them so i figured id spend the night (by the way both of my cousins are guys). anyways so i got there and my grandparents werent there. my cousins said that they went to dinner 2 hours away at some really fancy returaunt. well, they took me upstairs and they told me to sit ont the bed. they started kissing me and slowy putting their hands down my pants and up my shirt. since i had never had a real boyfriend befor they told me that they were only showing me what to expect when i had one. so thye kept doing all this stuff to me and made me do some weird stuff to them and practically forced me to have sex with them.

i know its wrong and that i should tell someone one but what wiill people say when i tell them i had sex with my cousins? please help me idont know what to do =(

♥ ~*me*~ ♥

This was rape. You need to tell your parents or somebody. It's hard, but you have to remember that you didn't do anything wrong. Just because you weren't able to stop it does not mean you consented to it. You are a victim of incest, you should tell an adult you trust right away.

why are christians so afraid to share there faith! im a christian and im not afraid at all. why cant the "christians" who wont die for God stop calling themselves christians!

Because it's not up to you to decide whether somebody is a good Christian or not. I thought part of the Christian belief was that only GOD can judge, or do you just ignore that part? You'll probably think I'm just saying this to be a bitch but I think you should concern yourself with your OWN beliefs. What everybody believes or doesn't believe isn't any of your business just like your religion isn't any of their business. Maybe somebody thinks that YOU should stop calling yourself a Christian, but they've been nice enough not to say anything. Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes. And if you were such a great Christian yourself, you'd give up your computer and your home and live a life of poverty. You know, the way Jesus did?

Know any christain websites?

I am a once athiest who has now become agnostic and what I want to know is :
Why do you or why do you not believe in god?
Why should he/she/it be praised?
Why should I believe or not believe in god?

1. I don't think I believe in "God". I just believe in...whatever. There's something there, but it doesn't have to be God. This just makes the most sense to me.

2. Maybe he/she/it shouldn't be praised. I mean, think about it--assuming this "God" created the world we live in, he/she/it is responsible for those food packages that SAY they're easy to open but you end up ripping them and spilling food all over the place. And the radio. They play a really good song, and never play it again. But they play the same really awful songs all day long. Oh, and not to mention rapists and AIDS and politicians and millions of other things that we would be better off without. I mean, what was God thinking? Maybe we should just shun he/she/it.

3. Depends on your personal preference.

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