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IM A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!
okay i am 14/f in case it matters
okay well you see, my cousins from arizona came up for christmas and new years to visit us. one is 16 and the other is 22. well they came up and they were staying at my grandmas hosue. well i wanted to hang out with them so i figured id spend the night (by the way both of my cousins are guys). anyways so i got there and my grandparents werent there. my cousins said that they went to dinner 2 hours away at some really fancy returaunt. well, they took me upstairs and they told me to sit ont the bed. they started kissing me and slowy putting their hands down my pants and up my shirt. since i had never had a real boyfriend befor they told me that they were only showing me what to expect when i had one. so thye kept doing all this stuff to me and made me do some weird stuff to them and practically forced me to have sex with them.
i know its wrong and that i should tell someone one but what wiill people say when i tell them i had sex with my cousins? please help me idont know what to do =(
♥ ~*me*~ ♥
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
First off, I want to tell you that being a lesbian has nothing to do with this at all. Also, a lot of victims leave a situation like this feeling guilty and thinking that it was their fault. You are a victim of sexual abuse and it is not your fault. They forced you to do it and they are older and more responsible than you. Now, I don't know if you have ever read a Chicken Soup book, but go to the library and check out Chicken Soup for the Kids Soul. Once you have that book, I want you to read the story titled Get Help Now, written by Tia Thompson, Just so you have an idea of how bad it can get. You need to tell someone about it. Tell anyone who will listen. And you don't have to say it like "I had sex with my cousins". Because literally, you didnot have sex with your cousins. It is not real sex if you do not have a say in the matter. In this case, they had the say in the matter and you had no say. You need to understand that you were sexually abused by your cousins. You need to tell someone that you were "sexually abused". You need to tell anyone who will listen. Not everyone will listen. But keep talking until someone listens. Eventually someone will listen. You have other advicenators listening and giving you advice. But keep talking until you get justice. Tia Thompson messed her life up when she didnot talk. And once she talked, it got better, slowly but surely it will get better for you. Now go out there and talk to someone about it and if you need some guidence, don't be scared to send me an e-mail or instant message or offline message. halfbloodprince123087@yahoo.com
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Children are sexually assaulted more often than most people realize, and most often they are assaulted by a family member.
What happened to you is not uncommon. One of the reasons it happens so much is because the victims keep quiet, and the abuser goes unpunished. If they get away with it this time, what's to stop them from doing it to some other girl?
Fortunately, in recent years, victims have been speaking up about their abuse, and the abusers have been stopped in their tracks. Even if you and your parents decide to "keep it in the family" and not contact the police, your cousins will still receive the scorn of their family for their criminal behavior. That alone might be enough to deter them from trying it again.
If you keep quiet and your cousins get away clean, this assault will be the beginning of a pattern for them. Next time they will force a girlfriend to have sex. Maybe after that it will be a girl on a first date, or just someone they picked up at a party. Eventually they could be arrested for rape and thrown in jail. If you speak up, you can stop this before the pattern develops.
Most of the other Advicenators have given you the same good advice. I hope you tell somebody. It's the right thing to do.
Dr. Chad
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you were sexually harassed.
tell someone in your family,
trust me, it'll be for the better
that should not happen to ANY girl.
don't tell them you had sex with your cousins-
tell them you were RAPED by your cousins.
they'll see who the sickos really are easily.
tell your mom. your aunt. [sometimes its easier to tell a female]
and if you can't do that, tell a teacher or guidence counseler.
i hope that helped.
good luck .. i hope everything turns out okay
God Bless you ♥
[props to yah - it took ALOT of bravery to come here and say this]
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HUn. you were raped you need to tell your mom right away. do not wait. because if your mom is going to do anything about it and press charges they need evidence.
so don't wait..
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First I feel you were very brave to come here and share your experience with others. Reaching out for help can be very hard and sometimes without a good if any outcome.
You're young and innocent. You deserve respect as much as any other member of humanity. We sometimes have to work hard to maintain the respect we desire. So, you were wise to take this first step and now it's time you consider your next step. If, IF your parents know you well, and trust whatever they may hear from you and trust you to be honest and upfront, then probably I would first take my Mother aside and gently address the issue. Or if it's your Father you best relate to, take him aside and begin to share this story with him.
If this isn't the case, then you will need to seek out another, supportive adult to confide and I would suggest you go to our local phone book, unless you have a family priest/minister/clergy person you trust, and look under the city or county agencies that deal in sexual assult or abuse counselling. There will be someone there you can speak to, but get through the switchboard operator first. This person will be a professional trained in the area that your problem would be found.
Keep in mind, for you to go forward and make this experience known to someone you trust, someone who will see that something is indeed done about it.... will assure and ensure that these same perpetrators don't attempt this same violation toward another female they encounter. You must consider that they may just not stop with a family member but perpetrate this horrible deed upon some other unsuspecting female.
So, carefully do the right thing and you should in most circumstances come away from this whole ordeal with more peace and eventually a good feeling about it because you did do the right thing. It will of course take you some time to heal this issue and perhaps, some counselling is called for dependent of course on your particular situation. But, you owe it to yourself first and to all the other females this group of young men may come in contact with, to get it out and in the open.
If you don't find anyone in the phone book, seek out someone within your circle of friends and/or acquaintances that can talk about it with you and together with you make the best decision as to your next move. The must be that next move, coming here was the first and a very good one, now back it up with the next and second best action available and don't feel guilty or ashamed, there is no need to do that to yourself.
I wish you well and I commend you on your bravery and courage to bring this issue forward, I just wish more women would and perhaps there would eventually be less and less horrific happenings taking place within our sisterhood.
I love you and pray for you and will be sending you hearted energy to guide and protect you. Many blessings to you for what lies ahead for you. You are not alone! Your guardian Angels are with you at all times.
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okay, so basically you were raped by your relatives and you need to tell someone (a parent or confide in a friend) and let them know what happened . it totally wasnt your fault, so they wont be mad at you or anything like that . good luck !!
xoo hope this helps !! ♥
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If you tell your family of course you will be in a lot of trouble seek to speak to someone who always keeps your secret like a best friend,that you know they will never tell on you because if you keep this inside without telling at least someone because it will bother your conscious.You could even talk to a priest confessioning this secret which is better and for sure you'll feel better after telling him about this issue and tell him to help you lead to a good path and not go to the wrong one.I know you really want to have happiness and that you are in need of help like many others and there is nothing wrong with that.
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This was rape. You need to tell your parents or somebody. It's hard, but you have to remember that you didn't do anything wrong. Just because you weren't able to stop it does not mean you consented to it. You are a victim of incest, you should tell an adult you trust right away.
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It's not your fault. People won't think anything bad of you. They FORCED you to have sex. Two grown men forced a 14 year old girl to have sex. There wasn't much you can do. Just tell someone.
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I haven't read ALL of these answers, but 2 stuck out to me: assuager's and Saint_Gasoline's. Why? Short, sweet, and to the point. They're definitely right, and this WAS a rape. It WAS abuse. Now, I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I did some research for school two months ago, and the rape of a child aged 14 or under can, in some states, result in the death penalty. But that's not the point. You should tell an adult.
I know it'll be really hard. You're obviously confused, and don't really know what to do. So I can imagine the trouble you'll go through trying to tell someone. The best advice I can give you here is to just... do it. I know I get that as an answer from everyone for almost every question I ask, and it makes absolutely no sense at the time. But if you happen to be an Advicenator, then it'll all make sense when you're answering a question like this. If you still can't bring yourself to speak about it, try writing a letter to your parents, and leave it on their pillow one day. It's not too hard. Good luck, hope I helped!
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Well first, I am so sorry that this happend to you. It was very wrong of them to do that to you and it was rape. Not only is that rape but it's also incest..which is also very illegal! You need to tell a family member that's close to you...or maybe a counselor at your school...just find an adult figure that you trust! Your cousins obviously have a problem...and your family needs to know about it..so they don't go after other girls in your family! I dont know if you put im a lesbian to catch attention or if you really are b/c of what your couins did. If it's b/c of them...it will most likely pass b/c I personally know someone who was raped and turned lesbian but realized it was fear not lesbianism...not every man is like your cousins so don't be afraid! If you to talk more you can inbox me or im me at angleyezxo21xo! Good luck! ♥ caitie
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look where do you even live because i am 17/f and the same thing happen to my best friend and she told me so just try to give people hits in your family or tell one of your good friends and are you gay because of your cousins please write back
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hey,
first of all I would like to start off by saying that it was not your fault u had sex with them, u said they forced you. You shouldn't be ashamed to tell someone. But I'm not in your shoes. I can totally understand why you are nervouse telling someone, i would be to. but I think the only way to solve this is to tell your parents or grandparents. See what they say. I hope this helps, i'm sry for what happend to you. Talk 2 me ne time!
much luv,
marsbars
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If they forced you to have sex then that is rape. Tell an adult who you trust. Your cousins shouldn't get away with what they did. If they wanted to inform you on what to expect they could have told you VERBALLY. What they did was wrong.
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i wouldnt tell anyone other than maybe your mom unless something happens like you end up pregnant or something. i think people would be kinda weirded out by it. just dont tell any of your friends
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