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15/F
Basically this guy (19/M) broke up with his girlfriend for me and at the time it didn't bother me. We dated for about 8 or 9 months and it was great and he told me he loved me and I loved him and then he decided to go to Africa on a missions trip for 9 months. So we broke up at the end of July and he left to go to Africa in the middle of September. Breaking up was mutual and we continued to be just friends with just a little drama. We've just been emailing and talking online once a week...usually 2 AM Saturday my time so it's 10 AM Saturday his time and it works out okay. Anyway, it's a long story but basically I found out that he told his brother that he picked me over the other girl just because I was easy so what the hell why not. He said I was too easy and a baby and that our relationship was crap in so many ways and that he wishes our relationships only lasted like a few weeks, not 8 or 9 months like it did. He said he would trade all of the times that we had together for another chance with the girl he didn't choose. I am obviously totally and completely crushed and heartbroken. I feel like I'm nothing. I feel empty and used and chewed up and spit out. What am I supposed to do now?? I feel so far gone...like there's nothing left of me... (link)
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Hey. Im am very very sorry that this happened to you! It must be horrible! But at least you know that you don't want anything to do with scum like that. Although you are going to feel sad and used. You have to realize that no matter what YOU ARE BETTER OFF!! You will find someone better because you deserve someone who loves you. Try going out with friends and doing fun stuff to get him off your mind. And you should confront him and tell him that you know what he said and that you don't want to hear his excuses and that its over forever. -helen
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me and this guy are pretty close, and as we get closer the more i like him. all of his really good friends say that he likes me, alot. but he doesn't know that i like him... he's not very perceptive. lots of people are telling me to just tell him i kie him... which is really hard for me, i'm deathly afraid of rejection... so your all gonna say "just tell him", right? well here's the harder part, he has a girlfriend... me and her arn't really friends... but a little more then aquantences...he cheats on her... and if i made a move i know that he'd respond positivly... but then on monday it would be like nothing happend, and i'd feel guilty. so should i tell him that i like him, even though i'm pretty sure he wouldn't breack up with her... or should i just enjoy being his friend and try not to kiss him or anything?
thanks so much for any advice, sorry this question's soo long (link)
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Hey. To be honest, you shouldn't tell him you like him! Just think if you were in his girlfriends position, how would you feel if you found out that he cheated on you. Plus, once a cheater always a cheater. It seems as if you already treat this boy different then other boys. It is never a good idea to get involved with a boy that has a girlfriend. Enjoy being his friend, but thats it. Sorry. -helen
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17/f
Last year I was head over heels for a friend of mine, let's call him John. We don't know each other too well but we had classes together and would talk through IM and stuff. I fell in complete love with him and it took me the better part of a year to get over him.
Since I've gotten over him, we've stayed friends, dated some people, etc... Now I'm single, and have been for a while.
I think I may be falling for him again. He told me last year he doesn't think of me that way, but we talk almost every night on IM about personal things and we can really open up to each other.
What do I do? I don't want to have to go through the heart break over John again.. after finally shedding these emotions.
He drives me crazy. I need help...
P.S. we've been talking about hanging out together outside of school, too. Any advice so I don't come on too strong for him? thanks. (link)
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Hey. Well first of all, he already told you that he thinks of you as a friend. So when you hang out then you should treat it like that. If you plan to hang out more than that and it starts to seem as a "more than friends thing" then you should start to tell him how you are feeling. Do not come on to strong maybe just hint to him a little that you thought he looked really cute when you saw him. You never know, he may begin to like you the way you like him after he sees how you are outside of school. And to make sure that you dont have to go through all that pain again, dont get your hopes to high. If you move slow enough, then you should be fine. -helen
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my boyfriend always says really nice things to me and then i dont know what to say back because i cant think of anything.he asked me yesterday why i never said anything sweet to him,i told i dunno because i can never find something really sweet to say to. i really luv him and i wanna make him happy (link)
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Hey. Just say how you feel. If hes making you happy tell him, or if he looks handsome let him know. Boys might not seem like it but they are also very insecure and they need a self esteem boost sometimes. So that means you could just tell him that he looks really good in the shirt hes wearing. Its little things like that boys look to girlfriends to say. -helen
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i dont know what to get my boyfriend for his birthday or just something as a gift to him when i feel like it. i just need some ideas. he luvs to play guitar and he wants a new electric gutar and i was thinking about saving up my money for that and then giving it all to him, but i dunno i wanna get him random gifts cuz i didnt get him that much on valentines day (link)
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Hey. Well first how long have you to been together because if its only been a short time then getting him that guitar may seem like you're moving too fast. But if you to have been together for awhile then saving up to get him a guitar is a good idea. You might also want to maybe save up and get him a gift certificate to the guitar shop so he can pick out what he wants. $100-150.00 is a good limit for a birthday present. You could also make a "memory box" of ticket stubbs from movies u saw or pictures of you two. Maybe make him a card it would show that you put a lot of thought into his birthday. You could also make him his favorite dinner for his birthday and maybe cupcakes or something. I hope I helped. -helen
p.s. keep me posted
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my boyfriend's internet was down and he didn't call me for 3 days so i was wondering if he was no longer interested. i checked his myspace page and found that this girl left him a comment saying "i'm talking to you on the phone right now. i loveee youuu" that got me pissed because i didn't know what she meant by "love". i asked her if they were going out and she wouldn't answer me. so then my boyfriend calls me 3 days later and he asks me if we are still going out because he said he's not going out with that girl and he said he's really sorry for everything. my friend had a feeling from the beginning that he was a cheater and a player so we put him to the test. i made up a new screen name and pretended to be one of his friends and here is our conversation
his friend - heeeeey its _____
my boyfriend - heyyyyy =)
his friend - i have something really important to tell you
my boyfriend - kay go ahead
his friend - well your not gonna believe this but i like you.....
his friend- more than a friend.
my boyfriend- oh really ??? =)
his friend - yeah are you going out with anyone?
my boyfriend - no (HE SAID THIS WHILE HE WAS TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE LOVED ME)
his friend- on you dumped that girl?
my boyfriend- yeah she was weird
his friend - did you ever like her?
my boyfriend - no i liked you
^^ that was me talking to my boyfriend who really thought it was his friend
so then i told him that he had been PUNK'D and i saw the whole conversation and i said "if you were so sorry why would you cheat on me?
his first reaction was "i think im gunna cry for the first time in my life and i cant believe this"
and then after he was done being shocked he was like oh my god im soo sorry. he said "i KNEW it wasnt my friend the whole time so i was just leading them on" and i go "uhm yeah right"
and now he tells me he STILL loves me. how can i believe it??? he'd probably cheat again
i haven't broke up with him yet but i'm really really mad and i just can't trust him. what if he was going out with that girl on myspace but just lied so i'd think he's single?
is what he did considered cheating?
what should i do? (link)
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Hey. Well first of all im glad that you took initiative to find out the truth, however that is also considered "looking for trouble." It is totally understandable that you wanted to know that truth so i believe in this circumstance it was necessary for you to make up a new screenname. What he did is cheating and it is lying. There was no way he could have known it was you unless you messed up and said something that would have made him think it was you. But otherwise hes lying. Im sorry to have to tell you this but it is a known scientific fact that once a guy cheats it is more likely to happen again. You should breakup with him now, who knows what else went on throughout your relationship. Im not trying to make you doubt him but from what I understand he doesnt seem like the greatest guy in the world. If you cant make a decision maybe make a pros and cons list and then show him, talk to him about how he messed up and he doesnt deserve to get you back and he cant just get you back like that. Cheating is a big deal whether its physical or emotional. Please think about this, you dont want to stay in a relationship with a guy who doesnt treat you like a princess. -helen
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Well me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and things have been great recently. We have been through alot but we have stayed together through it all and are doing amazing. He goes to another school than I do. At his school he can go out to lunch. Well there are these rumors going around at his school that he has cheated on me twice, with two different girls. Both days he supposedly cheated on me was on a Tuesday. Every Tuesday his parents are never home because they go to bowling tournaments that day. He also doesn't have a car, but on Tuesdays his parents let him drive their truck. So he always drives to lunch those days. Well one of his friends said that he had heard that my boyfriend had had sex with these two girls at seperate times. And what makes it more ironic is that my boyfriend's friend dated both of these girls before. Now his friend won't tell me who told him and everytime I ask my boyfriend he denies it of course and said he will get the number to each of the girls if he had to so I could actually talk to them and find it out for myself. Now I don't like to jump to conclusions so I try to manipulate a situation to see if I can make a liar tell the truth. Today I told my boyfriend that I had gone to the store and bumped into one of these girls. And that she had told me that it was true and that they had sex. Of course I lied and made that story up. I said it to get a rise out of him so maybe he would be honest and cough up the truth. But he didn't and actually said he was going to go to his school and have a talk with the girl and ask her why she would say a thing like that. So I am in a difficult situation. I don't have much prove except for substantial evidence, since he actually could have cheated on me those days, but that doesn't mean he actually did. I just need help on calming my worst fears and how to handle this. I don't want to believe his friend, because his friend has been trying to date me ever since me and my boyfriend first got together. So he might not be the best source to believe. Should I push the subject or give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt?
(link)
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(it is really funny how common this is to me.. LITERALLY the exact same thing happened to me!! IM me HElENJAMiNANA X3 and we can talk more maybe i can help!!
i have been in almost the exact situation .. same thing except that whole tuesday night thing and 2 seperate girls so i kind of understand better how your feeling. it is kind of sketchy that it supposedly happened on the one night hes alone and the one day a week he has the car. but the one who is telling you wants you to dump your bf so hes not exactly reliable. manipulating the situation is looking for trouble because ive done it many times and because i did i had to play the "why would you believe her over me" card which is not a good thing to use alot =] .. you love him and he loves you or you wouldnt be together after 2 years. heres what you need to tell him though say that whether or not its true if theres another situation like this then its over because you dont deserve to have to feel like this and have to hear that stuff =]
i hope i helped keep me posted
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i am from australia, im 16. my name is alice.
well, i met this boy a couple of months ago. he works with me.
i went to work one day < i wasnt working > just syaing hi, and he was there and i hadnt normally seen him there before because he works in the day and i work weekend and arfternoons.. i introduced my self and we started hanging out in the arfternoons when i would go there after school. and then i fell for him. a couple weeks later he moved out of home and moved in with a couple of his friends. and he decided to go back to school for a year to finish year 12, ( i am only in year 10 ) so he stopped working for a bit and we kind of lost touch because he didnt have much money so he couldnt call me or anything. that was about 2 montsh ago.. then i saw him again recently because its holidays,, we hung out and had lunch and just caught up. he has these gorgeous blue eyes that i cant stop staring at, and blonde hair. he's the sweetest guy i have ever met and i really love him. we started workign again toegther recently and we flirt alot. things like tickling me all the time! and calling me cute names. but i dont know whether he just wants to me friends with me or he likes me mroe than a friend. i really want to find out before we go back to school beacuse chances are, we will loose touch again. someone please help me out i just dont know how to tell him how i feel. i cant stop thinking aboout him. when i'm with him i feel happy and secure, but when im not with him i miss him so bad and cant stop thinking about him. please could someone help me out here?
Alice. (link)
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ask him out on a date. she him that you want to see where it could go. dont let him get away.
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Me and this boy used to date. We really liked each other a lot, things went wrong and friends got in the way, we both got hurt end of story. We always feel diff.about each other at dif times.and its been like 6 months since we broke up/ We been hanging out a lot lately, and we got into this jealousy fight, and then i just spilled it all out that i liked him. He pretty much said what i just said, i hurt him before, and he never knows how i feel, but he has thought about us gettin back together. We hung out the past two days, flirt soo much, but nothing more. I know i cant force something to happen, but i know somewhere inside of him he likes me, and im sometimes afraid to show him howw much i like him cause i dont want things to feel awkward for him, and just rush things and f*** it up. But idk, we might hang out tm. I jsut need to get some advice on what to do from here, i dont wanna hear juts wait it out, i wanan hear from someone who has once been in this situatoin and got past it. Like in my mind im thinkin talk to him about it in person, then see what happens, instead of the comp like we have been
thanks (link)
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you should tell him how you feel. be honest because he deserves to know. and if it freaks him out give him time. hes a guy they exaggerate. if he feels the same you will know. and if he doesnt then dont waste your time because hes not worth your love
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Hi well im having troubles,i really feel i love my ex boyfriend.We had a really intense relationship and it got to the point we actually said we LOVED eachother and meant it.He is a "player" he has had many girlfriends in his life and im the calm girl who only has had him.He did so many things for me,he went back to school...and my parents(specially my mom) didnt like him and he fought against them until he was given permission to be my boyfriend,NOT MANY GUYS ACTUALLY STAY WHEN PARENTS GIVE THEM A HARD TIME.The point is that it has been five months since we broke up,we have talked...and in our first conversation after we broke up he made it seem that he wanted to get back together but he hasnt done anything.He did do a lot,he lied to my parents and lied to me,Making up the lie that he got his ex girl pregnat which after he told me that he did it to "test" me.I feel that we broke up because he missed being single.I still love him and.But is he really worth fighting for?? or should i just forget about him and move on??Please help me (link)
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im not exactly sure hes worth fighting for. testing you is a way to look for trouble in the relationship, you should move on. hes a playa .. and its hard to get a playa to forget the game. if he initiates getting back together and he proves that he really wants to work at your relationship then go for it otherwise find someone else.
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So I`m dating a great guy named Mike.
Yesterday we got into an argument & we started questioning our relationship. After we were done fighting, I thought it was all over & done with..
UNTIL
He called me tonight, and he said that he wasn`t personally ready for a relationship. Even though we`ve been together six months. :/
He broke up with me & I started hysterically CRYING. I couldn`t help myself, I just felt so sad that he would do something so random. Then like half an hour later he said, "Why would I do this to such a wonderful girl? I`m sorry for putting you in this position!" Then I asked him what we were, and he said we were back together.
Now, I`m totally confused.
Do you think he actually wants to be with me, or do you think it`s because he just doesn`t want me to be sad? :[ Please help. Thanks in advance.
♥ (link)
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he wouldnt be with you if he didnt want to be. he probably made a mistake and after thinking he realized how big of a mistake it was and how he was going to lose such a wonderful girl. give him another chance but let him know that you arent always gonna be around to take him back if he decides to pull another stunt like this
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Ok! Me and My boyfriend Logan both are really jealous, and greedy people. So, one day he gets mad at me for going over to my friend Dougs house, so we get into an argument, and I bring up the time he went to his friends house, who he happened to have asked out last year, and he got mad at me saying it's not the same, so we both agreed that he would avoid Brittany if I avoided every guy I knew. But, he took it back today, and said he wanted to be her friend again. So I said I wanted to go to Dougs birthday, and he got mad at me, and said that I was being selfish.
So, basicaly...
Am I being selfish, or do I have the right to be mad? Because, if I have the right to be mad, I don't want to back off, I want to keep arguing until he comes to realize that maybe he screwed up, but if I am just being selfish, I want to appologize so everything will be better again. (link)
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yes you should because he is trying to control you which he doesnt have the right to do. dont let him tell you who you can and cant be friends with. tell him that he is being controlling and overbearing and he needs to let you have your friends as you let him. dont let him be hypocrytical
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Well me and my boyfriend of 5 months have been fighting so much lately. It’s killing me inside! I don’t know, were both such jealous people and he doesn’t go to my school and he’s working while I’m at school so like we both made promises not to talk to (me to guys, him to girls.) but like I told him I talked to this nerdy geek kid yesterday and he got like so mad and I was like oh my gosh im sorry but you talked to a girl at the mall, (cause we went to the mall yesterday and someone ran up to him and said OMG HEY.) and I got soo sad, but he doesn’t even care he says its all me and I shouldn’t have talked to the geek and I know, yeah yeah.. but TODAY! K well we were texting eachother and he said if either of us finds out one another talks to a (girl, guy, ya.) that it’s over cause we need to stop lying, blaah but yeah he didn’t believe me this morning and so he started being soo rude and calling me an asshole, dumbass, and stuff and I was like oh my gosh I’m not taking this it’s over! And then I was like AH ITS NOT OVER PLEASE GO BACK OUT WITH ME because I love him so much and do not ever wanna loose him but I’m not gonna be called names and hes like we’ll talk at your house.. and wont answer to go out with me? Its killing me, I love him more than lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! What should I do?!!? (link)
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hunny its not right to be in a relationship where you arent ALOUD to talk to boys and him ALOUD to talk to girls. that is a very unhealthy relationship. boundaries are okay but setting limits is bad. he doesnt have a right to control you and you him. him calling you names is signs of a scumbag. you need to tell him that you love him but you arent going to take this. he cant put an ultamatum on ur relationship saying u will break up if you do this or that. you need to dump him or tell him he needs to change.
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is acne a hudge turn off.. or does it realy matter.. im wondering
15/m
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it depends. some guys look good with it. i think alot of guys who have it are sexy and its not all looks.
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I've been seeing this girl for a while now and things are getting serious. We've talked and I think soon we're going to have sex. But I have a problem. I'm really insecure about the size of my penis. I'm not stupid, I know size matters, but how much does it matter? I mean, is it possible to be good if you aren't average or bigger? (link)
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well size does matter but not to the extent guys think. a guy can be good even if his penis is average. just dont be so worried about it or you will get nervous. maybe just talk to her about your insecurity be honest. girls are more sensitive and she wont be mean or make jokes
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16-f. my boyfriend and i have been together for about 5 months [we go to diff. schools, just incase that helps]. and im TERRIBLY jealous and i hate it. pretty much all of his friends are girls but hes not a player or the type that flirts around, hes only had 3 girlfriends before me [likewise with me], so im only jealous because i freak out that hes going to like some other girl and leave me, but hes never given me a reason to be jealous. he reassures me all the time that he loves me more than anything and would never leave me and wants to be with me forever, and sometimes i can snap myself out of feelin jealous and feel better, but other times it just drives me insane and makes me feel sick to my stomach i worry so much. what can i do to stop feeling like this? ive already talked to him about it and again he keeps reassuring me that he couldnt love anyone else as much as me, and dont say just realize that hes with ME and not them and be greatful, because i know and i respect that but i still feel jealous. even if he just adds a girl to his top 8 or has a random text messsage from one of his friends. ahh! (link)
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i feel exactly the same towards my boyfriend of a year and a half. he goes to a different school. the way i feel is that im a girl and i know how girls can be when they want a guy bad enough and it scares me that he might get dragged in with the wrong "crazy" girl. but you have a right to be jealous its natural but if theres no reason, like theres never been any suspiscion then just think. he is my boyfriend and hes with me and he has been for 5 months .. hes mine! lol hope i helped
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ive been talking to this guy for almost 2 months. we have sex and everything, and im 17 and hes 20, but weve been friends ever since we were little kids. and we wouldnt be able to have a relationship because people would say stuff about it and i dont like that. and now i think im starting to develope feelings for him and i dont want to if we cant be anything.. cause im still in high school, and i dont think he has feelings for me cause he has a history with girls, like cheating and stuff.. and i dont think hes in for that.. and since im younger, i think he just wants to have sex and thats it. like when we have sex as soon as were done, he puts his clothes on and drops me off.. but when i talk to other guys, he gets mad and i dont know if hes acting like he cares.. what do you think? (link)
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well he obviously cares about you but maybe he just doesnt want to get involved because he knows its illegal until your 18. just ask him about it.
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Okay, there is this guy I've been going out with now for a bit over a month. When my friend hooked us up, we had never even talked to each other before, but she insisted that he liked me, so I said yes to give him a chance. His friends say it's hard for him to admit to things. My boyfriend talks about this girl a lot, but he told me that he USED to like her and that it wouldn't be fair for him to like her while he's going out with me. But sometimes I wonder if he's going out with me because he likes me, or if he's going out with me because he wants to have a girlfriend. He's never had a girlfriend before me. He honestly doesn't show much interest, but he is shy. His friends say he never talks about me. I don't know..is there a way to get him interested if he's not? I don't even know if I should bring up these issues if he has a hard time admitting things. Ugh..I really like him, and it would hurt to have him not like me at all. Please help?! (link)
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just ask him whats going on. ask him for the truth because your relationship needs to be based on honesty =]
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so i've liked the same guy since 10th grade, so it's been 2 years. he's already a freshmen in college and i haven't seen him since this past summer, anyways, i can't get over him and i can't stop thinking about him. gahh. it's really annoying. what should i do? (link)
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do you talk to him? why dont you try to talk to him online or email each other. otherwise try to keep busy and not think abot him.
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I like my best guy friend. He doesn't know it. But I get extremely jealous when he spends time with this one girl. I don't care if he spends time with girls, there's just this certain girl I'm worried about. I KNOW they're just friends, and that he for sure doesn't like her, but why do I get so jealous? I cry myself to sleep every night they hang out/talk. I know I can't control him, he's not mine. We've talked about it, he knows I don't like her, etc. Whenever they talk/hang out I never get mad I just get seriously depressed, I can cry for up to 2 hours. What is wrong with me? I think I just don't understand why he's spending time with her, and not me, but I'm not sure. Is there any tips you guys can give me about how to calm down when I get jealous? Thanks. (link)
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just tell yourself that he doesnt like her you know that FOR A FACT. that you two are good friends .. maybe you should tell him you have feelings for him. although theire are consequences to that but you have to fight for the ones you love/like =]
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