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i think im becoming attached to a sex buddy.
ive been talking to this guy for almost 2 months. we have sex and everything, and im 17 and hes 20, but weve been friends ever since we were little kids. and we wouldnt be able to have a relationship because people would say stuff about it and i dont like that. and now i think im starting to develope feelings for him and i dont want to if we cant be anything.. cause im still in high school, and i dont think he has feelings for me cause he has a history with girls, like cheating and stuff.. and i dont think hes in for that.. and since im younger, i think he just wants to have sex and thats it. like when we have sex as soon as were done, he puts his clothes on and drops me off.. but when i talk to other guys, he gets mad and i dont know if hes acting like he cares.. what do you think?
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well he obviously cares about you but maybe he just doesnt want to get involved because he knows its illegal until your 18. just ask him about it.
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He gets jealous because he knows that if you go to another guy, that might be it for him. Or maybe he just doesn't know to be affectionate and hold you afterwards and crap. But keep an open eye for his actions, not his words. Talk to him about it, but notice his body language, eyes, and not really what he says, but more the tone of his voice.
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He might be getting mad because he's worried that if you start talking to another guy, then you won't want to sleep with him anymore. Why don't you just talk to him about it? Ask if he does have feelings for you. What's the worst he can say? No...? If he does say no, then you can just say goodbye and move on to someone else. The whole 'friends with benefits' relationship starts to go out the window when someone starts having feelings, especially if the other person doesn't feel the same way. If he is ready to just jump out of the bed and leave afterwards, he doesn't seem very caring and you shouldn't be with someone who is going to be like that to you...even if y'all aren't dating.
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Hey love you are 17 you should not be having so much sex but you are. The truth is he has free nookie when he wants it an don't want anyone else to get any. What you need to do is find a boy who consider you the centre of his universe and dump the bastard. Have nuff sex with him. Preferably a half nerd. They might have even have a bigger you know what.
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first off if you have feelings for him you should talk to him about it. And thats good that you have been friends with him for some time because you should have some trust in each other, which could make it last.But if he has had history with cheating on girls then what makes you think he won't do it to you ( not saying he will... but think). All guys are after sex but you may never know this could be more than just that.
Now since he's older and your younger he thinks that your at a vulnerable stage right now and he can get anything he wants anytime. So dont give him sex all the time and if he gets mad thats stupid...then you should know if he's using you.
this jealousy thing thats because he thinks just because you are talking to this guys that your having sex with them too. Yeah it seems like he cares about you alot.
i really hope i helped because that was a tuffy!
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Simply acting a bit jealous and possessive is not a symptom of deep feelings for you. It's a symptom of being jealous and possessive type of guy who doesn't treat women very well. No surprises there, you already knew that.
I think you should try and get a bit of distance from this guy. It's okay to have a sex buddy and its okay to have a crush, but having a crush on your sex buddy when you know it would only be a horrible disastrous attempt at a relationship is just asking for trouble and heartbreak.
So hang out with him less, maybe even not at all for a while. Time and distractions are the only cure for a crush.
I'll warn you though; very few people I know are actually able to sustain a friends with benefit arrangement for very long, especially younger people. If you find you can't keep this out without causing yourself pain and stress, please please please, have the sense to call it off before you get yourself hurt. Consequence-free sex can be great, but it should be relieving stress, not causing it.
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He is probably jealous of you talking to other men. When surveyed, women reported that they would rather have their partner have a sexual encounter than an unsexual but emotional encounter. Men reported the opposite. His behavior is purely natural. Males over years have adapted to want females to remain sexually attached to them so that they don't end up rearing someone elses offspring.
Anyway, I'm telling you that to tell you that there is a possibility that this may be what is happening. Don't get your hopes up too much because his behavior might just be instinct. Usually when guys leave after having sex, it confirms that they are only interested in the sex.
On the other hand, the jealousy might be legit and he may be developing feelings for you too. Guys aren't robots after all, and the sex is probably effecting him in some way.
Either way, you can't keep going on with your mechanical no-strings sex. Not only is it unhealthy but it's immoral too and it lets him continue to use girls.
You need to put yourself first in this situation and talk to him about him. Tell him that it's going way too far and confess that you're starting to get attached. If age is a serious issue, take a "break" until you are both older (even though in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with 17 and 20, I've seen 15 and 20 and people have been okay with it). Remind him that you're hesitant because of his reputation and that you can't just be fuck buddies forever. Mention that you want to see guys who are interested in you as a person. If he really does care, he'll probably want to start seeing you officially too.
I know it sounds tough to break it off when you've just started to feel this way but you need to get rid of him while they're still little feelings and you're not totally head over heels.
Good luck <3
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