|
did i do the right thing?
my boyfriend's internet was down and he didn't call me for 3 days so i was wondering if he was no longer interested. i checked his myspace page and found that this girl left him a comment saying "i'm talking to you on the phone right now. i loveee youuu" that got me pissed because i didn't know what she meant by "love". i asked her if they were going out and she wouldn't answer me. so then my boyfriend calls me 3 days later and he asks me if we are still going out because he said he's not going out with that girl and he said he's really sorry for everything. my friend had a feeling from the beginning that he was a cheater and a player so we put him to the test. i made up a new screen name and pretended to be one of his friends and here is our conversation
his friend - heeeeey its _____
my boyfriend - heyyyyy =)
his friend - i have something really important to tell you
my boyfriend - kay go ahead
his friend - well your not gonna believe this but i like you.....
his friend- more than a friend.
my boyfriend- oh really ??? =)
his friend - yeah are you going out with anyone?
my boyfriend - no (HE SAID THIS WHILE HE WAS TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE LOVED ME)
his friend- on you dumped that girl?
my boyfriend- yeah she was weird
his friend - did you ever like her?
my boyfriend - no i liked you
^^ that was me talking to my boyfriend who really thought it was his friend
so then i told him that he had been PUNK'D and i saw the whole conversation and i said "if you were so sorry why would you cheat on me?
his first reaction was "i think im gunna cry for the first time in my life and i cant believe this"
and then after he was done being shocked he was like oh my god im soo sorry. he said "i KNEW it wasnt my friend the whole time so i was just leading them on" and i go "uhm yeah right"
and now he tells me he STILL loves me. how can i believe it??? he'd probably cheat again
i haven't broke up with him yet but i'm really really mad and i just can't trust him. what if he was going out with that girl on myspace but just lied so i'd think he's single?
is what he did considered cheating?
what should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey. Well first of all im glad that you took initiative to find out the truth, however that is also considered "looking for trouble." It is totally understandable that you wanted to know that truth so i believe in this circumstance it was necessary for you to make up a new screenname. What he did is cheating and it is lying. There was no way he could have known it was you unless you messed up and said something that would have made him think it was you. But otherwise hes lying. Im sorry to have to tell you this but it is a known scientific fact that once a guy cheats it is more likely to happen again. You should breakup with him now, who knows what else went on throughout your relationship. Im not trying to make you doubt him but from what I understand he doesnt seem like the greatest guy in the world. If you cant make a decision maybe make a pros and cons list and then show him, talk to him about how he messed up and he doesnt deserve to get you back and he cant just get you back like that. Cheating is a big deal whether its physical or emotional. Please think about this, you dont want to stay in a relationship with a guy who doesnt treat you like a princess. -helen
]
You've asked three questions.
(1) "Did I do the right thing?"
Normally, I'd say that a "sting operation" against a significant other is not a good idea. However, in this case you had fairly good evidence that he was straying in his thoughts. Note that it would have been entirely possible for someone to leave an "I love you" note on his page without his returning those feelings in any way, but in that case, I don't think he would have had anything to apologize for. The fact that he did say he was sorry about it would indicate that he had something to be sorry about.
You did commit a slight wrong by pretending to be this "other woman". For all you know, her part in this was innocent; he may have been feeding her lies to the effect that he was single and unattached. A better thing to do might have been to approach her and tell her the facts, then both of you could corner him together. But, I don't think she was actually harmed by your assumption of her identity, and the greater good of exposing your boyfriend's dishonesty was served.
So yes, I think you did the right thing, and of course the results you got would seem to prove that.
(2) "Is what he did considered cheating?"
Not really, if you want to get technical about it.
It was, however, a whole bunch of other things: lying, deceiving, disrespectful, dishonest, not to mention stupid. While it may not have been something that could be strictly defined as "cheating", it was equally bad and definitely cause for breaking up with him. It was also a good indicator that, even though you don't have direct evidence for it, he WAS cheating or at least that he intended to.
(3) "What should I do?"
Break up with him, as soon as possible. He his proven himself untrustworthy. Drop him like a hot rock and have no second thoughts. If he cries or gets upset, do not for one moment believe that he is sincere. He has made it quite clear that he sees you as an easily disposable girlfriend. YOU are the offended party, not him.
He says that he still loves you, and he may even think that he means it, but it's clear that he does not know what love is.
]
I'm shocked you haven't broken up with him yet. He's a cheating, lying boy and is not worth your time. Seriously, he's such an idiot. He doesn't still love you, and even if he does, he should learn how to express his love for you and only you. Break up with him.. and talk to the girl that he's cheating on you with. Let her know you're not mad at her, but you just want to save her from heartbreak. After all, it's not her fault this happened, it's his.
]
i think you should dump him if you cant trust him, then theres no point, and also i think he is cheating on you wit this girl on myspace, so i think you should just go right ahead a dump him!!
good luck
evansgurl36
]
Girl, you did the best thing you could. Yeah it was considered cheating in my opinion, the guy claimed to love you, and could'nt even be faithful.
Get rid of this guy, get him out of your life. you can't trust him.
He's just trying to save his own butt by saying he still loves you.
Solemnstar
]
More Questions: |