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I do best answering questions that are related to careers, marriage, children, dating and other interpersonal matters.
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Hi! I'm 17 almost 18 & ive been dating someone who I love for a year now. Lately I've been feeling I don't know, scared of the future maybe? He keeps talking about how we're going to be together forever, and that this relationship could never end. He also talks about getting married adventually, a long time from now of course. He really is a great guy. I also feel like he doesn't let me breathe, he sends paragraphs for love text about how great we are, I feel bad writing this but I've just been thinking do I want to stay with the same guy forever? Is that bad? Should I experience other things? Not just with guys but experience what it's like to be single I love him I do, maybe I'm just stressed I don't know I just need some advice.
Thanks for the help.
Dear 17 almost 18:
Moving too fast is usually a sign that he's uncomfortable being alone or seeking someone to solve his problems. A clingy lover is very unattractive and is not a trait that you would want your partner to have.
Ultimately, you are the other half that has to be happy in your relationship. If that happiness is compromised then you must ask yourself the tough question: "Is this something that I can live with or live without?"
I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help.
Dear Getting over a guy:
Let me see if I can un-convolute this complicated break-up a bit.
The mistake that you made is blaming yourself. Just because you can't return his love in the same measure that he loves you. It isn't your fault and you didn't blow the chance to be with your soulmate. You absolutely did the right thing in following your intuition. Whatever the reason is, this just wasn't the thing for you to do right now.
Judging from the way he responded, he's merely in the first stage of love anyway, which is only desire and is dominated by the sex hormones. It's OK to be friends with him, his focus will soon change to another and you'll be able to be happy with him.
You'll definitely know when you've met your soulmate. Neither of you will be able to think about anything else to the point of even forgetting to eat and sleep. You'll feel like You're winning a prize when you're with him and you'll feel torment when you're apart.
My advice is for you to to sit down and rethink this whole matter and rid yourself of the guilt.
This will be very long sorry, I just need to understand....
Okay, so I'm 16 from the USA. I'm a very shy home schooled church girl and I'd never really talked to a guy let alone dated or did anything with one.
One day my one friend(we're super close we basically consider each other family) and her boyfriend went mud bogging one day and I tagged along. They went with a bunch of his friends that I didn't know and most of them were of course guys.
After that when I went home my friend(let's call her Meg) messaged me and said that one of the guys there was going to snapchat me and to look cute and be nice.[this happened on Wednesday]
So I did talk to him, and I liked him a bit so the next day we ate lunch together at subway(I'm homeschooled and he's graduated but the age difference isn't too big of a deal because it's the same as my parents) so we talked for a while and I went home right after and we texted the rest of the day. [Thursday]
The next day I texted him all day because me and Meg were babysitting but after she and I went to go see him for a few hours at his house. It was also the day of our(and also my) first kiss.
[Friday]
The next day didn't go so well. Me and Meg were going to work with her horses for a bit then we drive 45 minutes away to go shopping then pick up her boyfriend from work since his truck broke and go to 'my guys'(as Meg calls him) house. Thanks to Megs mom we didn't end up leaving till way later than we wanted to so we didn't get back in time to pick up him up so we asked 'my guy' to since him and her boyfriend are friends. He didn't want but he did. When Meg and me got to his house there were people yelling and it was awkward so we left right away taking her boyfriend with us and 'my guy' was going to meet us at my house. Before he got there he said he didn't want to come because he was mad about something that happened earlier, I told him he didn't have to but he came anyway. All four of us when to subway and it was fine until 'my guy' started just making mean comments to Meg then said something about us being there the night before not letting him sleep and such. Obviously every one got pissed off by this and we all left, Meg taking her boyfriend home and I was left to talk to him. We did and I forgave him and everything then he came into my house talked to my mom for a while then left. (Saturday)
This day my parents were gone for a funeral and wouldn't be back until the next night. He came over to my house around noon when Meg was there, Meg got her boyfriend and we were all at my house even though most of the time me and him were downstairs in my room while they were upstairs in the living room. They left around 6 or 7 to go to her boyfriends and around 8 someone was coming to my house to stay with me because my parents were gone. We stayed in my room for a while then went upstairs and sat on the couch to wait for the person to get there and that was when we had our(my) first make-out session. When the person got there I sat upstairs with them while he went down stairs. I went back down after a bit and we layed there and watched a movie, during the second movie though we started kissing again and he started to get a little touchy. The two times he started to touch well, that area, I'd grab his hand and he'd stop(he knows I don't want to lose my virginity for a while and said to let him know if he did too much) after that he went on his phone and he got upset because his ex was giving him shit after that we sat on my bed and started talking and he said that he cared for me a lot but like didn't feel 'like' was a strong enough word but it was too soon and to strong of a word for him to say love. I said it was the same for me too which it is, but I'll say more about that in a bit. But we started kissing again and I felt bad that he wanted to do more but I wouldn't let him and that his ex was upset with him(which is indirectly somewhat my fault) so when he put his hand on his, well you know, I didn't fight it. Nothing went in my mouth(or vagina but you should know that) but you can guess what I did.
This was when I realized I cared about him way too much for such a short time and I was a little frightened by it. A week earlier I never would have considered so much as kissing yet here I was doing this no matter what my reasons were..
We laid there after for about an hour and he left.
[Sunday]
This is the day when I need the most advice from.
Me and Meg were hanging out all day until around 5 when we went to my house and he came. We sat upstairs with her until she left at 7 a first nothing happened we just laid there and watched a movie. When the movie was over we started kissing again and started to do stuff but again I said no the most that happened was that he cupped and kissed my boob for about a minute and he started rubbing above my pants for a little bit when I pulled his hand back. I was sitting on his lap and we were kissing when Meg walked in absolutely terrifying both of us. She came in to grab something then left, we talked for a bit about it and he started rubbing above my pants again and said that he'd wait until I was comfortable before doing anything else then stopped after a minute he asked if i felt anything when he did stuff and I said yes, and it scares me a little so we talked about that and I said "maybe we should slow down we did meet 5 days ago." he said he understood, we said bye and he left.
After he left I messaged Meg(She knows what we did the other night and had been making fun of me for it ever since I told her) saying how long did you laugh about this time? expecting her to joke back but she messaged me and was totally serious and said "what were you doing" i said nothing like last night because we didn't. And she was even more serious saying "what did you. you've known him for 6 days, not been dating, known him. Do you realize how fast you're going" And i said yes, you're right and I did tell him we needed to slow down(I also texted him after this conversation and told him so again) she asked again and I told her I was sitting on his lap and we were kissing that's all since that pretty much was it. and that was Yesterday... haven't talked to Meg since that conversation and haven't talked to him since around 10 last night
I guess I just need advice, any all advice you are willing to give... should I tell Meg everything in detail or is it not a big enough deal to bother with? and I don't know...(and don't says something like it's none of her business, because we've known each other long enough and are close enough where it is and she's only concerned for me.)
Also I like him alot... I'm falling hard and since I've never so much as had a crush before, it's almost overwhelming and I don't know what I'm turning into... I actually considered the things he wanted to do and my virginity is a big deal to me.(but common sense and my own stubbornness took over and I couldn't say yes) If it weren't for the world we live in and the fact that I don't know if I can wait that long I would wait until marriage happily. I don't want to stop talking to him but I don't want to do something I'll regret or get hurt either... i don't know.. anything you would be willing to say would be appreciated, and sorry again for it being so long
My dear, you're playing with fire. This guy is going to continue to manipulate you until he scores.
It appears to me that he's much more interested in getting sexual satisfaction from you than he is in establishing a loving relationship. I suspect that he's going to push you further and further every time you're together and when you finally give him what he wants, that's all you'll ever do together.
Don't become just one of his conquests. If you want to continue to see him, invite him to meet your family and see if he can pass their muster. Don't just hang out with him, insist on attending functions together and doing fun things. Make him prove with actions that he truly cares out YOU and not just...
Hey! I am a 16 year old girl who is having some difficulty with relationships. I am currently talking to a 15 year old boy (the age difference isn't an issue for me) but he seems to like taking things fast. I feel entirely comfortable with him and I have no problem talking to him about most things but I'm afraid he'll use me for sex and then take off. I don't want to stereotype every high school boy by saying they only want sex but I'm afraid of getting myself into that situation when I'm not ready for it. I'm not looking for a commitment that leads to marriage but I also don't want to play games. I really like this guy and don't want to lose him but I also don't want to do anything I'm uncomfortable with. Any advice is appreciated greatly!
I applaud your keen insight and that you trust your intuition enough to be cautious.
Young men (15 year old boys) are notorious for their interest in sexual activity. Unfortunately, they usually lack the judgement and discretion necessary for establishing a meaningful relationship with a girl and many focus entirely on satisfying themselves with little or no regard for either the girl's health, well-being or protection from possible consequences. Because they love to keep score and delight in sharing the intimate details of their "conquests" indiscriminately with their friends and associates, the girls reputation can be irreparably damaged to the point that every boy will want just the "one thing" that their friend bragged to them about. Not to mention the damage done to the opinions of her girlfriends who may also hear of it.
My advice to you is to continue to be very discriminating in sharing your love and affection. Men become seriously interested in women who have self respect, modesty and don't present themselves as "easy" or "pushovers"
I have known this guy for 3 months now.We started with friendship. He has been dating for a while. I have been single recently so have not really dated. He looks very easu going. Earlier he was so much interested - msgd daily till we kissed and got intimate.Its been a week - I believe in equal relationship so I really did nt care who is asking whom. Earlier he used to ask ...now I stared asking. I asked him once - his reply was already plans to night...next day he has some plans so he said how about weekend. I did nt reply. Friday he went to city and next noon msgs me what are you upto. EVening he asked the same questions. What does he mean? After all this, I dnt even see him as a friend...because I feel its all when he is available he asks him...he never makes plans he used to do. Like in noon he could have said lets do something in evening. WHen I asked him in the evening...he said he is with a friend. I am confused...where is this going?
Men are pursuers. They're designed to chase and conquer. It's always best to prolong the chase long enough to make sure that he is someone by whom you would like to be "caught." It takes a lot of time to see how much of a man's behaviors and attention is based on who he is or how much he simply wants to win the chase. Allowing your man to "catch" you too soon, only makes you vulnerable to disappointment and rejection. At the end of the day, men want a woman who will make him earn (and deserve) your love and affection.
So for those of you who replied to my question about my depressed girlfriend, I realized when I saw your answers that I definitely hadn't given enough information. I'm not stupid, I am not trying to take care of her all on my own. In fact I have straight up told her that "this is hard on me and I cannot do this alone. We're going to find additional help for you" and we did. Trust me, I am very aware that she needs a series of professionals to help her out, and so is she. She has been seeing therapists and psychiatrists and counselors for years, and I'm pretty sure she's been on every type and every dosage of medication for her illness that there is. She does not encourage me to ditch school at all, in fact she was mad about it when I did. But that day, she'd told me that she might kill herself, so I kind of had to prioritize. I ditched CHOIR, you guys. It wasn't a huge deal. Her parents are not very good people, and they often accuse my girlfriend of being lazy when she struggles to get out of bed in the morning or they tell her that she inconveniences the family with her need for extra care. If anything, her parents (particularly her mother) tend to make things 100 times worse. They denied her of a day therapy program/support group thing and they don't really see mental illness as actual sickness, so they're no help. Also, I am EXTREMELY aware that she could kill herself, because she has tried to before. I was the one to talk her out of it. I realize that it's going to be excruciatingly painful for me if she does ever go through with it, but I love her unconditionally and I will stay by her side to support her while I can. I have a lot of faith in her, and I see that she still has hope. I'm not going to give up, especially when she needs me most. She can get better, and I know it will take a lot of time, but she deserves the world and I am going to try with every fiber of my being to make hers at least a little brighter every day. I guess that all I really need right now is some extra advice on how to deal with my emotions in this situation. I know I can't "fix her" or anything, but I can support her, and I'd like to do that in the best way that I possibly can. I'm sorry about any confusion. Thank you.
As you seem to be determined to stick by her no matter what, I assume that you have already determined that you possess the ability and capacity to follow through unconditionally. This is going to require putting all of her needs ahead of your own and is going to entail making an enormous sacrifice on your part with no certainty of ever receiving a reward and is contrary to most successful relationships where BOTH parties give and both receive.
So, my advice to you is to put all of your emotions in your back pocket so that you can assist your girlfriend with hers. Best wishes to you both.
I was married 5 years one child together I h aven't seen my .ex husband in a year and half. He's dated several girls since we split up he left because I confronted him about not paying the rent next I knew he was done walked away took our only vehicle. Etc. I ended up moving north and had to start my life over. During the marriage he stole from my father he's stole from my son he'd lie about taking my son to his baseball practices etc. don't get me wrong we have a ton of good memories with the bad. I miss him and I would take him back in a heart beat but why.. he has said he would do anything to
make things right
Dear I was married,
While I believe it's possible to build a bridge over bitter water, my experiences lead me to think that it's best to move forward rather than look back.
My advice to you is to keep all your options open but move very slowly with any plans that include your ex. You need a partner not a parasite. You need to be sure that any reconciliation will be an advantage to you and your son and not merely a replay of the first 5 years of your marriage.
Best wishes!
I am an 18-year-old female. I've been in a relationship for 6 months. earlier in the relationship my boyfriend was a big flirt with a lot of girls (I later found out about that). he ended up cheating on me and I found out about it. I decided to stay with him but I can't seem to move fully past it. I'm not sure what to do or think through all of this. what should I do?
I don't blame you a bit. If there was ever a deal breaker it's cheating. Not only is he a deceiver and a victimizer, he's taking all of the girls he's cheating with home and sharing any of the diseases and uncleanness they may have with you without your knowledge or consent.
Cheating is seldom a mistake--it's a choice. Simply put, "Once a cheater, always a cheater!" or maybe "Once a playa, always a playa!"
My advice to you is to tell him to hit the road. There's plenty of guys who will respect you enough not to jeopardize your health and trust.
25 female
I have a date Friday night with this guy I met that goes to my school . He is 21 and one of his friends is going wiih us because neither one of us can drive so he will be doing the driving . The date will be at Burger King . I Know not very fancy for a first date but its fine with me but I dont know what to wear to wear. I am also a little concerned becauase I dont know his friend anf i wanted to know if it would be rude to turn down the rife offer and have my cousin to drop me off?
Dear I have a date,
I don't blame you for being concerned. In order to enjoy the date you need to feel safe and secure.
My advice to you is to either provide your own transportation or suggest an alternative destination.
Ok, so my parents are really strict when it comes to anything. Clothes, boys, even friends. Other teens have even asked me why my parents are so strict and that mine are way worse. They even have me homeschooled for that reason. I do go to church, but maybe four times a month, and my parents won't let me just hook up with some guy at the mall. They say he has to be a certain age, a certain religion, everything. I'm not around teens much, so I don't know how to flirt or get a guy to ask me out. I can talk to guys, but it makes me nervous. I wouldn't even know if he has a girlfriend or not, or how to handle rejection. Surprisingly, I found a guy that lives up to my parents expectations, but I don't know how to get him to ask me out. And I'm too shy when it comes to flirting. I'm a 16 year old girl and never had a boyfriend or first kiss, so it's really important to me. I know I'm not ugly, fat, or mean, I just don't know how to do this! Please tell me what to do🙏
Dear love shy,
I'm not going to address your parents strictness or anything else about their mode of parenting you. As long as you live in their home and accept their provision, you should be willing accept their rules. Soon enough, you'll be making your own decisions.
I'm am going to give you a tip on how to proceed with the guy you found that not only meets your parents requirements but also is interesting enough to you that you want to pursue his friendship.
The best way to do this is to find a reason for him to visit with you in your home that would include your parents in the activity. Perhaps an invitation to dinner with a movie or game.
Start with a conversation with your parents. Simply say, "I've met someone who I think you would like and enjoy meeting. Would you help me prepare a nice dinner which I could invite him to share with us?"
Next, say something like this to your friend: "We're having a really nice (special) dinner on -------. I'd love it if you would join us.
At that time he'll either say yes, no or I'll have to check. He'll also realize that you have an interest in him. It's nothing to fear dear.
So there's this guy at my work that I like, and we've been texting each other back and forth pretty often. Before reading week ended, I gave him this gift card to a sushi restaurant and he said we should go, and asked me to go to dinner! He picked me up and dropped me off home but didn't make any move. All throughout dinner it was really nice, it never felt awkward , but I just couldn't read him. Fast forward a few days, I texted him a "so do you know what I was craving today ?! Crepes ! Haha When are you free ? We should go out sometime !" And he replied "Haha I had some on my birthday! But I'm still down for crepes! We should go after exams are done! We can celebrate all of the A's we got haha" . Does it seem like he's interested in me ?? There were other instances where we were talking about soccer and I said I would watch him play over the summer and he said that he'll score a goal for me, or the time when he said he'll buy me green tea kit kat when he goes to Japan cause it's my favourite, or like how he'll teach me ukulele because I'm teaching him violin .... Like does it seem like he just thinks of me as a friend or more ?
Dear Did I get friend zoned,
From the information you provide, it seems, at this point, he's, at least, interested in exploring the possibilities with you so, if you really like him, it would be appropriate for you to play your "A" game.
To directly answer your question, I don't believe that that men and women can ever be 'just friends' unless the man is gay, finds the woman repulsive or has another woman much higher on his ladder.
First off, I am 14 & he is 16. We both met eachother on 1/15/14. We are going to make one year on February 19, 2015. But this year has been a real struggle for the both of us. In the beginning we loved each other like crazy. He knew i wasnt allowed to date though. My parents found out about us and forbid us to see eachother. I have really strict parents so i cant even hang out with friends. This struggle has caused us both to lose feelings. We still love/care each other so we havent broken up, but currently we are on a break. What do you think I should do ?
Dear 14,
It would probably be for the best to continue being on a break until such time as your parents decide that you are mature enough to date. I can see no reason for the two of you to "break up" when you still have feelings for each other.
Why not approach your parents with the idea of him being allowed to visit with you in your own home in their full view. You might suggest that you would like to study together.
Does anyone have any ideas for what to do for Valentine's Day when you and your boyfriend (college students) are flat broke? I'm talkin' scraping change off the floorboard of your car broke. Is there anything we can do that doesn't cost money? Should we float Valentine's Day until we can afford to celebrate it well? Is there a way we can get some money (even just a little) fast?
There's no reason to bow down to the mighty St. Valentine promotional machine. Why not make a conscious decision to celebrate Valentine’s day in the spirit it is meant to be celebrated?
The real spirit of Valentine’s day is to recapture the original passion, admiration and love that you felt when you first realized that you belong together. Perhaps you can surprise him by trying to repeat, as much as possible, of that first day. Spending time and being creative tells your beloved that you really thought things through and that you took trouble to show him how much you love him. In fact, by rejecting any store-bought gifts in favor of home-made gifts and personal attention is, in a retro kind of way, the coolest thing you can possibly do.
19 female
So last weekend, I went to a party with some of my friends and basically ended up making out with one of my guy friends. I don't know how I feel about it...cause like there's kind of a story behind it and maybe even us, but then again it might just be me over reacting. First of all, I've hooked up with guys at parties before, but it's never been with someone I really know or am friends with, so I feel like that just complicates the situation even more.
Basically, last Friday this guy friend (lets call him John) came over to my apartment and invited me and my roommate to a party that he was going to. He came back to our place a little later with alcohol, but I told him before we even went out that I didn't want to get drunk because I had an interview in the morning, but that I'd drink a little with him. We took a couple of shots before we left and then headed out to the party. When we were walking there, two of our other friends were talking about the guys that they were dating or talking to, and me and John were walking together talking about something else. Then he like brought that topic up and asked why I wasn't dating anyone cause I'm a "great catch." I pretty much just laughed that off and changed the topic to something else. When we got to the party, he ended up getting me a lot more drunk than I had planned...not like forcefully or anything but like he gave me the bottle and kept asking if I wanted to take a shot with him. We were spending pretty much the whole time at the party together, and it was pretty normal until he introduced my roommate to a guy he know so they could talk, and basically he and I would be alone. Then he got all huggy which he had been like the whole night but this time it was a little different. Like he brought up how we had been all huggy another time we were drunk a couple weeks before, and how he liked that, even though he hadn't brought it up at all the times I had seen him since. Well after we were hugging for a while we started dancing for like a really long time, and at first it was pretty innocent, but then we got real close. I don't know why but I kissed his neck, and then we started making out. But it was actually really short and when it was over he kissed me on my nose lol which was kind of sweet I guess. And then we parted ways and it was really awkward cause like all of our mutual friends saw, and same with all of the people at the party who I didn't really know but were friends with him. Like when we were dancing this one guy came up to John and was y'all are so fucking cute.
He left with me and my roommate, but I didn't get a chance to talk to him before I left for my apartment and he went back to his dorm. I still haven't seen him yet, and most of me just really wants to avoid him. But then another part of me wants to know what the heck is up? We've always kind of had some type of little connection, and like he's gotten in the way of me talking to another guy before, but I always thought it was more of just a friendship type of thing. I don't know if that was just us being drunk or if there actually might be something there? Ugh, really don't know how I feel about this... Any advice or input?
Sorry this is so long!!
Dear 19 female,
So, you like John and John likes you. You're friends right? However, you're together at a party, you're both drinking and have become rather mellow and both of you are experiencing your normal inhibitions (and good sense) dampened by the numbing affect of the alcohol and your perfect friendship seems to have morphed into something more and you're not comfortable with it.
I believe you can safely relax a bit. I'm sure that John is experiencing some level of discomfort too. It's very possible for friendships to turn romantic. It happens all the time. On the other hand it could have just been the drinks and the moment.
My advice to you is to just wait and see. It was John that created the whole scene and it was John that made the "great catch" comment. Let him carry the ball going forward. If there's anything to this, it will surely become evident in the course of time.
You should also carefully meditate on the possibilities in the cold, harsh light of day. Your feelings are equally as important as John's in this matter.
Good luck to ya' Personally, I'm hoping that there's something too this. I'd love to know how this tuns out.
I'm tired of being mean to the person I like. It's always me calling them names and calling them ugly when I. don't. mean. it. It makes me mad because impulse control disorder makes me blurt out some mean things some times without even thinking. I want to be nice, I really do. But I just don't know how...
any suggestions as how to improve myself in being nice? Because I want to better myself, for the sake of the person I like, for our friendship in general, and for my sake.
Dear Had enough,
I believe that you are a nice person but that you are sometimes prone to the very human failure of saying and perhaps doing things before giving thought to the consequences. However, as you now plainly admit your fault and are expressing the desire to change for the better, I'll forgo the usual punishment of 20 lashes with a wet noodle.
I come from a time before every behavior was labeled as a "disorder" or "syndrome" and people weren't force fed mind altering drugs as methods of management. Self control was something people learned and then practiced as they made their way in the world. No one is born with this ability, people learn from experience what works and what doesn't. Some learn early, others take a little longer. A few never get it. It's not easy!
My advice to you is to get a strong rubber band and place it on your wrist. Every time you fail to maintain control and blurt out something mean, give you wrist a good sharp snap to remind you of the unnecessary pain that you are inflicting. Also, I want you to keep a private journal where you will enter the details of your every failure and also make note of the times when you were able to overcome your interpersonal shortcomings. It won't be long before you truly become the captain of your own vessel.
Best wishes! I believe that you'll make it through this, sooner rather than later.
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for around 4 months. Since last 20 days or so he was distant and replied to my messages really late.. Usually after 2-3 days.
So I asked him what was happening... And he said, university was hectic and he said things are getting worse. I even asked him if it's this relationship or something else that was causing the problem. He said it's neither of it. But I realised hes doing this to get out of the relationship
I for some reason did not pursue him. I think my ego came in between and I didn't bother texting him again. He hasn't texted me in over 5 days now. I am moving on and don't feel like texting him. I don't think he even deserves to know that m moving on.I cannot text him first.
And he friends with my best friend and I see him online ( he said he's busy with university). So that's just proof enough that he doesn't want to face the music and tell me that he doesn't want to do this. So my question is Im just wondering why am I so indifferent to this? I mean the urge to text and call him just died so soon.
Is this a bad thing??
Dear Confused,
It's NOT a bad thing and it's NOT your ego. I believe that your intuition and keen insight in interpreting his responses are correct and that your action (or lack thereof) are entirely appropriate.
I also don't see anything, in what you write, that's negative or "indifferent" Only a state of mild annoyance at this failure to be candid with you, combined with a realistic appraisal of the situation.
I'm sure, that in going forward, you'll maintain a positive attitude and will not do, say or write anything bad to/about him. It's just time to move on!
Well I am in relationship since 2011..i told him everything about my past life..he never used to pick ph calls in front of me..he didn't even tell me everything about his life..i tell him even about my family problems but he never tells me about his..he hangs around with gis friends but when I go with my friends everytime he creates an issue and spoils my plans..he keeps saying that he is very possessive about me but I don't understand where his possessiveness goes when we quarrel n part..he never calls me to settle up things..he has an ego problem but do I have to say sorry to patch up everytime!!he has a colleague in his office who likes him..hw likes her pics n gives comments on fb..whereas he blocked me on fb..not only that he blocked me from every social media n messengers..when I got to know about that girl I told him to unfriend her...he did unfriend her..but recently he again befriended her on fb n they both like each other's pics..they might chat also..n they talk to other over ph for hours...other staffs in his office even tease them as couple..is he cheating on me?he shows no special interest in me then what's the point to heat on me!!he could easily break it off with me n go in relationship with her..on the very first month of our relation he said it doesn't matter to him if I am in his life or not coz he needs none..he keeps breaking his oath on my life to drink alcohol n instantly makes issues for his alcohol consumption...i knew that he used to drink even before our relation started..all is friends support me..but now he n his mom are accusing me for his addiction..they are saying that I keep hurting him so he drinks..sometimes I wonder does he really love me?
He is definitely acting in a manner that is not only suspicious, but also uncaring, unloving, and seems to be totally preoccupied with himself and his own affairs.
I do believe he's a cheater and I'm concerned that if you try to maintain a relationship with him, he'll just use and abuse you while causing you pain, frustration and ultimately heartbreak.
You've wasted more than enough of your love and attention on him. It's time to move on. You don't have to create an issue, just become unavailable to his wants and needs and widen your horizons. There's a lot of non-alcoholic, strait shooting guys out there who will appreciate you and would be willing to return your love.
My friend found out I like him and started avoiding me. I told him I understand it is awkward but I still want to be friends. He replied that he 'kinda likes me but rather not do anything about it' and I really matter to him but I have a feeling he is lying so that it does not break my heart. Because I feel he is still kind of avoiding me. Is it wise to tell him I do not think he is being honest? Because it hurts me to think someone is lying to me. It has been a week since I messaged him about it and I do not know if it is too late to ask. Both of us are in high school.
Back way off with this guy. Be friendly and approachable but don't ask him anything. This is a wait and see situation. He may come around and he may not. This is his loss, not yours.
Here's my advice to you, when you next find yourself interested in a guy, it isn't a problem to send signals, spend time with him, talk to him, find out about him but Don’t come on to him or reveal your affectionate feelings in words. Just spend time getting to know him and his interests. He'll get the message, usually sooner rather than later. The ball is now in his court. If he's interested in having a relationship with you, he should be willing to take the risk of revealing his feelings for you.
23/f
I feel like everyone who is going to read this is going to think im stupid. I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. I live in new england so we just had this huge snow storm. I was just at his house on sunday and i havent been there because he was working in the snow. I finally saw him today (thursday) and i went over to his house. I have a key to his place and i walked right in i noticed that there are two picture frames of us by his tv. I noticed they were gone, so i was upset. I noticed that there are pictures on his fridge and the one of us was taken down. I got upset and couldnt wait for him to get home and i texted him why did you take my pictures down? He responded with "i cleaned the tv stand lol" i looked for the picture frames and they were put away in a draw. I told him that my feelings were hurt and i am very stubborn so i was giving him attitude. He got so devisinve and bad saying your really going to get mad over a picture? and i felt guility and shut my mouth up. My feelings are hurt. i dont understand why he would do that. My only thought would be if a girl came over. We have been together for so long that everyone kind of knows that we are together. I am just confused because he was working for the past 4 days. I am trying not to be indenial but thats the only reason i can think of. Im just upset. Thank you for anyone who is reading this i just needed to vent to someone about it.
What you're experiencing is the very uncomfortable feeling that something just isn't right. I don't blame you for being hurt and agree that his explanation for taking your pictures down is very sketchy. However, if you were in a court of law, there's not sufficient evidence, at this point to convict him of anything.
I believe that a wise girl would not take any further action now but would keep her eyes and ears open for any signs that he's become a player.
I enjoy going to massage parlors. Sometimes I get a 'happy ending' and sometimes I don't. Would this be considered cheating?
It's cheating when it’s sexual.