|
Boyfriend being mean
23/f
I feel like everyone who is going to read this is going to think im stupid. I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. I live in new england so we just had this huge snow storm. I was just at his house on sunday and i havent been there because he was working in the snow. I finally saw him today (thursday) and i went over to his house. I have a key to his place and i walked right in i noticed that there are two picture frames of us by his tv. I noticed they were gone, so i was upset. I noticed that there are pictures on his fridge and the one of us was taken down. I got upset and couldnt wait for him to get home and i texted him why did you take my pictures down? He responded with "i cleaned the tv stand lol" i looked for the picture frames and they were put away in a draw. I told him that my feelings were hurt and i am very stubborn so i was giving him attitude. He got so devisinve and bad saying your really going to get mad over a picture? and i felt guility and shut my mouth up. My feelings are hurt. i dont understand why he would do that. My only thought would be if a girl came over. We have been together for so long that everyone kind of knows that we are together. I am just confused because he was working for the past 4 days. I am trying not to be indenial but thats the only reason i can think of. Im just upset. Thank you for anyone who is reading this i just needed to vent to someone about it.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To be completely honest. You're a very strong minded girl & I would have reacted the same exact way. Something seems a little fishy. Like why were the frames in the drawer if he was "Just Cleaning" you have every right to be acting the way you are. Eventually if you see the argument not getting anywhere as much as it may hurt you, you have to do what's best for you and in the end you'll feel a lot better.
]
What you're experiencing is the very uncomfortable feeling that something just isn't right. I don't blame you for being hurt and agree that his explanation for taking your pictures down is very sketchy. However, if you were in a court of law, there's not sufficient evidence, at this point to convict him of anything.
I believe that a wise girl would not take any further action now but would keep her eyes and ears open for any signs that he's become a player.
]
Hey, nobody should judge you on venting out your feelings, you are only human. Sometimes the best people to get advice from is people you don't know so they can't judge you and they won't know you. This is perfectly normal to think. Small things can add up and if you believe that it is an issue for the pictures to be down, it is. He should know how you feel and shouldn't feel guilty for feeling that way. Communication is is the top way to keep a relationship together and if you hide all your feelings that relate to this, it could turn into one big fight. Tell him this means something to you and you want to respect that. Don't ask him if he's cheating on you, just ask but why would you take us down? you don't like it? or something along those lines. Don't jump to conclusions, but don't rule out the possibilities.
Good luck!
]
So the pictures were there on display on Sunday but not on Thursday. Looks like he didn't want someone to see the photos. Most likely another girl, unless your relationship has been a secret from other people in his life, friends, family who were over to his place on those days inbetween. This is not a case of being mean, its a case of not being into you, cus if he did care about you, he'd treat you differently.
I am almost 100% positive that he lied to you when he said he cleaned the TV stand. For one thing, the photos on the fridge were missing and I doubt he was dusting his fridge also, doing an entire apartment spring cleaning. When a person dusts furniture, they remove items temporarily laying them on a chair table or floor and when done dusting, puts them back, not stashing them away in a drawer. So he lied. What is he covering up? Can't say. But my firsts guess is another girl. Even if there isn't another girl right now, he is not acting like you are that important to him. To help you out, I have a quiz for you to go over to help you know whether he loves you or not.
Here it is:
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
]
More Questions: |