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Possible Boyfriend
Hey! I am a 16 year old girl who is having some difficulty with relationships. I am currently talking to a 15 year old boy (the age difference isn't an issue for me) but he seems to like taking things fast. I feel entirely comfortable with him and I have no problem talking to him about most things but I'm afraid he'll use me for sex and then take off. I don't want to stereotype every high school boy by saying they only want sex but I'm afraid of getting myself into that situation when I'm not ready for it. I'm not looking for a commitment that leads to marriage but I also don't want to play games. I really like this guy and don't want to lose him but I also don't want to do anything I'm uncomfortable with. Any advice is appreciated greatly!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Nothing good comes easy, in fact am a believer in no pain no gain. Even though these days I am having problems that meant to ruin me but I knoww it would have been worse if I did not face life as I did from beginning with these principles. Today I am beautiful like a doll and gain merits for that. Its never too late to get a guy. Be bold, ddo it. I wish to find a steady serious one myself.
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Grandfather gave great advice. So I will continue on with what to do concerning this guy or any you end up dating.
You need to decide for yourself what ground rules and boundaries you want to establish at the beginning of a relationship. So after a meeting a guy who wants to date you, a good way to find out his intentions (if you have some attraction to his looks) is to tell him that the two of you need a good serious talk if he want's you to become his girlfriend. You then tell him, the best time to share this information is at the very beginning so if he isn't willing to comply and agree to any of it, he can walk away now....and many will. They don't want to jump through too many hoops to get some sex if thats all they're after. However, a guy who is seriously attracted and also wants to become your friend too and enjoy the romance of any attraction between you, will go by your rules.
So lay it out for them. Young boys may not appreciate that fact that you have rules and expectations but I can tell who once they get older, a woman who knows what she wants and doesnt want and isn't afraid to tell a guy, is irresistibly attractive to a guy. I did this when looking for a partner after a divorce in my forties and guys were falling over themselves to have a chance to win my attention and the rules made me more attractive to them. Why? This exudes a great self confidence and they are attracted to it.
think of all the kids in HS who are the popular types. One thing they have more of, over most the others, is the appearance of self confidence whether true or acted, or the acceptance of one who is popular who wouldn't be attracted to the other if there wasn't some kind of obvious self confidence. If you have any questions about how to go about setting boundaries, or even making a list of what you are looking for in a guy and then you making the first move and going after who you want, let me know, I'd be glad to share.
Good luck.
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I applaud your keen insight and that you trust your intuition enough to be cautious.
Young men (15 year old boys) are notorious for their interest in sexual activity. Unfortunately, they usually lack the judgement and discretion necessary for establishing a meaningful relationship with a girl and many focus entirely on satisfying themselves with little or no regard for either the girl's health, well-being or protection from possible consequences. Because they love to keep score and delight in sharing the intimate details of their "conquests" indiscriminately with their friends and associates, the girls reputation can be irreparably damaged to the point that every boy will want just the "one thing" that their friend bragged to them about. Not to mention the damage done to the opinions of her girlfriends who may also hear of it.
My advice to you is to continue to be very discriminating in sharing your love and affection. Men become seriously interested in women who have self respect, modesty and don't present themselves as "easy" or "pushovers"
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