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My boyfriend & I are both losing feelings..
First off, I am 14 & he is 16. We both met eachother on 1/15/14. We are going to make one year on February 19, 2015. But this year has been a real struggle for the both of us. In the beginning we loved each other like crazy. He knew i wasnt allowed to date though. My parents found out about us and forbid us to see eachother. I have really strict parents so i cant even hang out with friends. This struggle has caused us both to lose feelings. We still love/care each other so we havent broken up, but currently we are on a break. What do you think I should do ?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you should just wait it out because love is eternal and never goes away. If the feeling of love go away, then it never was love in the first place. Just don't worry about it and focus on your school work. Everything will fall into place but you have to be patient because everything will happen in it's own time.
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If you two are having for each other let it show . if your parents doesnt want you to date then i think you two should date when they are not around. you two love each other i dont think you two need to break up with each other if you really care bout each other be careful you two are still young live your life right on track take it slow . when the parents understand that you like this guy they will know that you are happy with him and not make u break up with them . i hope i helped you on this advice .
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Dear 14,
It would probably be for the best to continue being on a break until such time as your parents decide that you are mature enough to date. I can see no reason for the two of you to "break up" when you still have feelings for each other.
Why not approach your parents with the idea of him being allowed to visit with you in your own home in their full view. You might suggest that you would like to study together.
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Your parents rules and boundaries for you may cause stress in a relationship, but it won't change your emotions, as to how you feel about each other.
Only if one or both of you were being very unloving or constantly harsh, distant or maybe even abusive of each other can love slowly die in a relationship, I know this, because it happened in my marriage. married at 20, to a verbally abusive man and over the years, his treatment whittled away at the love I originally had for him til it was all gone and made it easier to leave him.
Perhaps it was more a case of the excitement of seeing each other, although knowing it was forbidden, that caused a type of excitement that fed both your feelings for each other, or simply the newness of anything in life, even a new relationship, new partner can bring on that level of excitement which certainly mimics having feelings for the person. If the feelings are for real, you'll know a change in a couple months, no longer, that the newness and fun of exploring a new person disappears and you will still feel a love for the person, but now its more a comfortable, easy going interactions between the two without the higher level of excitement from it being new, but still a specialness and caring that you can count on to always be that way. Others find that after New relationship energy wears off, what they are left with is no feelings for each other any longer which means it is time to part. This happens to us all, adults too but teens are especially prone to this. However, if it was NRE, you'd feel these feelings drop off in the first few weeks to 2,3 months. New relationship energy doesnt last longer unless the couple see's each other maybe only 2,3 times,dates a month and so it still feels new after 6 months but by then NRE will begin to fade.
I don't know what rules the parents have set out, if it's due to religion or race preferances..yeah some people still do that or its an age thing. If age related, ask if he can come visit at your house while they are home, a male friend rather than a female one coming over. Of course this gives time to only really hang out together and get to know each other better as friends but no privacy to engage in anything sexual if thats the parents concern. I had all girls and as mom I know there will always be those concerns, so guys were welcome to come hang at our house but all were too chicken to do so. See if they will allow him to visit as a friend, if not, there's nothing else you can do but see him at school and that isn't real quality time into a relationship to feed it and keep it going. You have already done what you wanted to with dating despite their rules, I highly doubt the parents finding out will stop you continueing it if thats what you're asking as what to do. If neither of you feel like going on, then don't. Break up. In highschool a good percent of relationships don't last long anyways so this is normal. If you still like him, keep him as a friend unless the parents have told you that you can not even speak to or interact with guys at school.
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