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I can't seem to move past the cheating... What do I do?
I am an 18-year-old female. I've been in a relationship for 6 months. earlier in the relationship my boyfriend was a big flirt with a lot of girls (I later found out about that). he ended up cheating on me and I found out about it. I decided to stay with him but I can't seem to move fully past it. I'm not sure what to do or think through all of this. what should I do?
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The part that is unclear is if you talked about the incident or not with him. You have to communicate to him about it if its bothering you. The two main points of a relationship is trust and communication. Without these, theres no point of the relationship at all. You have to communicate with him your concerns of the relationship and if theres any way he can make you feel more safe. If he turns very defensive or the relationship doesn't improve after that point, it might be best to stop the relationship altogether. Relationships are there to make you happy, not to stress you out
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you obviously dont fully have ALL of his heart or else he would never be able to even conseive of cheating on you, or wouldnt put himself in a position to where cheating would happen.
id like to know HOW the cheating happened. sometimes a guys friends will take him out and then put him in a position to where he doesnt have a way out. Ive had enough guy friends to witness this actually happen and i had to help put a stop to it before it got out of hand.
if he WILLINGLY went out and met up with a girl by himself then that means theres no room in his heart for you and that your not a top priority.
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I don't blame you a bit. If there was ever a deal breaker it's cheating. Not only is he a deceiver and a victimizer, he's taking all of the girls he's cheating with home and sharing any of the diseases and uncleanness they may have with you without your knowledge or consent.
Cheating is seldom a mistake--it's a choice. Simply put, "Once a cheater, always a cheater!" or maybe "Once a playa, always a playa!"
My advice to you is to tell him to hit the road. There's plenty of guys who will respect you enough not to jeopardize your health and trust.
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Once a person breaks your trust in them, it takes a long time for that person to behave in positive ways that rebuild that trust. Unfortunately it only takes minutes for him to break your trust but it can be months or years before he has been able to rebuild and regain your trust. The only way that can happen is if he has a major change in character. If he is exhibiting the same behavior, then he can not be trusted. It's not you who is the problem for not being able to get past it, cus of lack of trust, it's his problem. If he really cared about you and loved you deeply and it was a one time indescretion, then maybe there's a chance if he works really hard to prove to you that he has truly changed and slowly regain your trust. If you can't trust him yet, then he's obviously not doing what you need to see to begin to be reassured.
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I personally think it is just too hard to stay with someone after something like that. They don't deserve you if you can't be enough for them, and you're always going to think about how they did that to you. It is your choice, but I don't think it is wise for anyone. There is no real way to move on from something like that. If they did it once, then they can do it again, is how I see it. You could try thinking about all the good things about him instead or something? Like if the good out weighs the bad, in a way. And if he treats you well and such, even though cheating on someone is treating them very poorly.
Hope this helps~
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