about

I am a 29/f that loves to listen and try to help out. I have always been the one people go to for advice.

I will tell you how I feel about it. If you don't like my answer, I'm sorry. However, usually what I say is true, people just can't handle the truth.

advice

I would like to know if you would date someone online and then eventually meet them? As for me, There's a couple different issues to this matter. Here in my area, there aren't a lot of nice girls around here, but when I'm online, I find someone who is nice and hot, but they live too far away. It's probabily someone I wouldn't meet either way. What are your opinions on this matter?

You asked for opinions, so I will give you mine.

#1~ You said that when you meet someone online that they are nice and hot, but are you sure that you are seeing the real person? It is so easy to find a picture of someone hot online and post it as your own. You could be talking to someone who is really not your type at all, but because you cannot see them in real life, there is no risk of getting caught.

#2~ People can actually be a crazy person and you wouldn't know it because you have no way to find out. I would advise caution.

#3~ If you are in no shape to find someone that is close to you, how do you think it is going to go when you are talking to someone 1000 miles away and no way to get there? If you were to find that right person online, how would you get to her? You may be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

I met my husband through my brother, but we started talking online first. He was close to me (in the same town) so I had no worries that we were going to have no way to see each other. Online relationships are tricky. You never know what could possibly happen. If you are going to pursue a relationship with someone online, at least try to make it with someone that is close to you in your area.

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Hi ,

How can I be more woman like ?
How can I be more femenine ,I don't know how to behave when I am around someone I like.
Grew up with a bunch off guys ....
I don't want to look very shy but on the other hand I don't want to look innocent (I am ,I really don't know much about guys)

Help
Have a date soon !!

If you have already met the person you are going out on a date with, then do not change. He asked you out for a reason and I would suggest not changing that, it may backfire on you.

If you have never met this person before, then do you want to have someone meet you and not know the real you?

With all that said, to be feminine is a state of mind more than anything. I would suggest just wearing something comfortable to you, but maybe in a softer color. Then let him be a gentleman and offer to open doors for you. Cross your legs if you are wearing a skirt. Do not talk with food in your mouth. Do not chew with your mouth open. No burping on the date, at least not loudly. Remember your manners: say please, thank you, your welcome, and excuse me. Above all else be yourself, but be polite.

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does anyone know an interview or anything or just happen to know how Zack braff and Sarah Chalke feel about doing all those love scenes and stuff in the show? and have they ever been a couple in real life?

I couldn't find any interviews that stated the feelings of the love scenes, but I did find out that Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke are only and have only been friends.

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my bf. of 9 mnths got drunk at one of his friends houses, his friends were pressuring him to drink. he is 16 and i think he should be able to say no by now! i don't have a problem with him drinkin. no, he shouldn't be drinking b/c he is only 16. well, he called me sober that same night after he had drank. he said he was scared he might have done something bad and was going to lose me if he did. the next day we tlkd and he found out that him and his guy friend went and hung out somewhere and his guy friend left him with some girl b/c they were chattin. my bf. found out all they did was makeout. after some SERIOUS thinking i decided i loved him too much to leave him. i told him i'd try and over look it. and then he asked if a peck kiss was cheating. and i said yes, he said he had peck kissed his ex a few days back. which really hurt when he told me that! i overlooked everything and forgave him. that was on april 26th that i forgave him. and it is now may 1st. everything is fine i haven't brought it up since that day. and the only reason i didn't leave him is b/c i love him with all my heart and can't picture my life without him. did i do the right thing? what should i have done?
thanks in advance.

I will say that the excuse he gave is probably one of the oldest ones in the book. In all honesty, I do not believe that he did not know what he was doing because he was drunk.

Here is what you need to think about. Does this problem he created matter to you? If it does, you need to let him know about it. If it does not, then you should probably just let it go. However, considering the fact that you are here asking for advice, then it bugs you.

This is a personal decision that is best made up by yourself. You need to talk to him and find out if you trust him enough to still trust him. Without trust, there is not going to be a healthy relationship.

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heyy.
ok. here it goes.
theres this guy at work..angus..who i like and he apparently likes me. well he liked this girl at work Jose for ages and she had a boyfriend of 11 months. then he met me and he started liking me and jose dumped her boyfriend to go out with angus but angus was like 'I waited too long for you its too late i like ana now.'
and basically he just left her for me
and he did that to another girl before jose.
and now he likes me and hes full like Ana i love you blah blah and he hardly even talks to me.
and he wants to ask me out but all the girls at work are like Dont go out with him he is gonna screw you over and do what he did to jose he will just go off with another girl when he meets one and that he is a player etc etc and i told him about it and hes like Dont listen to them why would i do that to you etc etc
and the day before yesterday i went to visit him at work and he finished at 9 and so i went and came back at like 8:50 and then i asked the people where he was and the manager was like He left like half an hour ago and so i texted him and im like Yeah thanks .. full ditched mee. and so i told him to come yesterday at 3 before i start work and he was like okay and that morning i asked him if hes coming and he didnt reply so i just went at 3:40ish (i started at 4) and he was there with his mates. so i just went right past him.
then when i came out he was like Hey ana! and im like Hi thanks for telling me you were gonna come and hes like Im sorry ana please ana whats wrong .. ana i care about you. why are you angry at me..then hes like i promise i will come at 8 when you finish i promise blah blah. then he went away and then after i finished work i was waiting for my mum and he runs to me and goes to me ana im sorry for always dogging you ana please im sorry i really like you..you can think i dont like you but i really do. i love you ana i love you!
and then hes like i have to go somewhere with my mates
so basically i just saw him for like 2 seconds
how does he expect me to have a relationship with him when he NEVER has time for me? i basically only see him like 1 hour a week..
so i dont know what to do :(
xx

It sounds as if he is not really wanting to tie himself down at this time. If he truly wanted to work this out with you, he'd find time with you. I'm sorry but I have to agree with your friends on this one. Maybe, this just isn't meant to be. I'd think about going on with our life without him.

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well okay i kissed this guy i like yesterday and it was a weird kiss, like i dont know if i did it right or not. but then after we were like playing footsie. haha idk if it means anything but generally what does playing footsie mean?

Playing footsies is a type of flirtation. It means that this person likes you.

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ok.. so I'll try to keep this kind of short. there's a guy. Everyone say she likes me and he kind of flirts with me. Well, I'm not sure.. i guess so? Anyways, so last year I kind of started liking him for a little while before I talked myself out of it. I liked him because he was nice and "flirty" w/ me. Anywho, I have a feeling he would never ask me out because he's afraid of doing it. People have asked him out and stuff before as jokes. (hes not really popular @ school.) so my question is, how do i get him to ask me out? i think i would say yes but not tell anybody because ppl make such a big deal when ppl start going out in our grade. And I don't wanna make it sound like I wouldn't be sure of it, I just want to give it a go. I was texting my friend and she said it was because he didnt know that i liked him. what do i do?

We live in a day and age where you can ask him. I know it sounds taboo, but it really isn't. Assertive females are the thing right now. Become one, it may do you good.

Just go up to him and tell him, hey I am going to blank, wanna come? It doesn't have to be a date, but you could get to know each other.

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i am a 29yr old female and i had a affair on my husband about 4 yrs ago and the guy and i eventually got feelings for each other. We were both having problems n r marriages and he was going to get divorced, i didn't know that i wanted to at the time but i knew that i wasn't happy. The guy and i decided that we needed to try one more time with our marriages. Since then he has gotten divorced and we have ran into each other several times. About 2yrs ago he told me that he wanted me but i didn't want to just end everything for i have been married for a while. But now he remarried and we talk often, he called the ohter night and told me that he wasn't happy and wanted to come over to talk. I said fine since i am seperated now. Things went farther and now the old feelings are back and i am in love with him again..But my question is "do i tell him" and "what should i do" thanks for any advice i can get.

It seems as if you two have been in a "hit-and-miss" relationship from the very beginning.

Listen, I cannot tell you what to do, but I can tell you the scenarios and let you make a decision that could affect both of your lives.

First, do you ever get the feeling that you two have been not available to each other for a reason? I am not a very religious person, but do believe that every thing happens for a reason. It could have been a test on your strength from the very beginning but both failed. It is not necessarily a bad thing.

Second, in all the situations that you two have been in, there have been others involved as well. There is a respect that a person must adhere to when dealing with someone else's feelings and emotions.

Love is a strong force to be reckoned with. True love is also very hard to find. Finding your one true love is difficult and tedious at best. When you find true love, you will know that it is right. It is definitely a feeling that will surpass any that you have felt before.

I will say that because both of you have had your fair share of infidelities, neither will trust the other because of the past experiences.

I think the best solution would be to sit down and talk with him. Put all the cards out on the table, let him know you are not pressuring him for a relationship, because that would be unfair to him and his new wife. Tell him that you realize that this is bad timing and do not expect him to reciprocate your feelings. Just to remember that if anything should happen between him and his wife, then you would like him to give you two a chance.

If you are serious about getting into a relationship with him, then you will not get married or start seeing someone serious for a little while, until you know exactly what is going to happen. There is no need to bring someonen else into this situation and get hurt too.

I hope this has made sense.

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My boyfriend and I are expecting a baby in July, it will be the first child for both of us. It was totally unexpected, we had only been together a few months when we found out I was pregnant. We are both 27 and really not where we wanted to be in life when we started a family, but are still both excited and want to do everything we can to give this child a great life. There is one thing, my boyfriend has no real work experience. He worked delivering pizzas for a few months, but he isn't working anymore. I know it's hard to find jobs in this area, and with not much experience, but I am very worried about the strain this is putting on our relationship, and for when the baby is here. I work full time and have my own apartment, a very small apartment, that's another thing, if he had income we could move into a better place. I blame things on him a lot, because I am carrying this baby and working full time, and he isn't. Sometimes I think positive, like as long as I know I'm doing all I can, and he is actually looking for employment, but a lot of the times I think really negatively and believe I will not be able to stay with him if he doesn't find work. I don't think it's fair really, and I don't want to put myself in a position where I have to do everything myself, not if we are together, so it makes me think sometimes that we shouldn't stay together. He says I should believe in him and believe things will work out, but it's hard at this point, I'm due in a little over 3 months and I'm stuck in this tiny apartment with little income. I'm just looking for some advice, and maybe a good way to start a conversation with him about how much this affects me, because I am kind of quiet and don't always know how to express my feelings and explain things that are bothering me. It is really making me sad and overwhelmed because I don't know how to handle the situation. I would rather my child had two parents that are in a relationship, but sometimes I don't see how that can be.

Here's a wake up call for you. If you didn't believe that this man would make a good father to begin with, why did you have unprotected sex with him?

Here's the thing, I always tell people that if you are capable of handling the situation of having a baby, then have sex. If you are not capable and still want to have sex, then use protection.

As for the part where he has no real experience, there are places out there willing to train or at least educate him so he can have a better future. Tell him to go to temp-to-hire agencies that will help him find a job. While he's at it, he could enroll in courses to help further himself for all of y'alls future. University of Phoenix offers online classes that do not have a specific time you have to be there. You can get your Associates degree in 2 years.

I know that being pregnant makes you have more emotional outbursts than normal and sometimes those thoughts can be overwhelming. The best way to handle this situation is communication. Face it, you two are going to have to work things out together even if you are apart or with each other for at least the next 18 years. No time like the present to start having that communication.

I am not up here on my high horse judging you. I have been where you are at. I fully understand and had to have that common sense banged into my head a few times before I figured it out. I got pregnant at 19, by an drunken, drug user/seller with no job, no house, and 3 other kids. I was an idiot. I knew better, but passion took over. I ended up marrying him, got pregnant again, left him, got divorced, remarried and am finally to the point where I can say, "man wtf what I thinking?" I want to tell you that you do not have to be with this man in order to provide a great home for your child. There are a lot of women out there that do this on a daily basis. However, I want to strongly suggest you think long and hard about marrying this man just because of a baby. If you wouldn't do it without a baby, you don't have to because of a baby. This is your chance to make the best decision for you and your baby, but do it without regrets or else you will second guess all your decisions and never be happy.

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well what is something i could give my bf when i move? i want to make a memory scrapbook thing but something else that he can remember me by. im giving my bffs rings or those little token things but i dont know what to do for him. cause those are more for girls arent they? thanks so much :)

It isn't necessarily a girl thing only. Do you know of those heart necklaces that break in two that says best friends? My husband had a friend when he lived in a different state and was moving and she gave him half of one of those parts of the necklace. He didn't think it was odd. So, it could be something that would work for you as well.

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hi
im going to hang out with my friend on friday at his house. he lieks me, but i dont like him. but i still want him to be inetested in me soi like to look pretty around him. its wierd i know. but he may want to have sex, and i wouldnt mind having sex either. ive only had sex once and it was about 2 years ago. do you know any certain moves i could do that will make me look good and not look like i havent done this in a while? thanks!

I'm only going to answer your question you asked, and approach nothing else. First of all, the more confidence you have in yourself, the better you will be able to perform. If you are nervous, it will show and will become a problem making mistakes.

Just make sure that you leave a lot of room for making out. This way, you both will be ready for the actual sex part.

When you have sex, make sure you use protection. This way it ensures that you won't get pregnant or get an STD.

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okay. well im in 8th grade and about to move into high school soon...
im like mad crazy for this guy in my class. were pretty good friends.. i mean liek i talk to him in all[but not recently] && i can imagine us being together.
but well he got accepted into this IB program. and i didnt.. so we wont have ANY classes together or even see him probably in high school. cause i've heard that IB people get a totally different schedule.
anywayz... wel i really wanna go to the school he's going[all me friedns is too] & i dont wanna lose some of my closest friends & the guy i totaly love.
but i wanna go to a different highschool. because it gives me better education[since i wasnt accepted into IB -.- ugh. loll] i feel pathetic.
but that highschool is a really nice looky and good school. i wanna go but i dont wanna go. >_<
i dont wanna loose everything..

i got a short time to make up my mind because my decisions would have to be decided before summer so my mom would kno where to move.

& it seems like an impossible choice.
losing everyone or start over with new friends[& go0d education]

What is more important to you in the long-run? Is education more important to you and your future? Or, is having your friends and crush near you more important?

You have to remember that in life, we are all faced with decisions. Those decisions make us who we are. Yes, giving up your friends and crush would be difficult, but where are you going to end up without the proper education that you need? Besides, you can always call your friends and hang out with them.

I know it's hard to let go of people and branch out, making new friends. Just think of this as an opportunity to open your wings and fly. You need to make decisions that you will be happy with.

Best of wishes.

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ok, here's the deal, I have a 30 yr old cousin. I'm 16, We've always been really close but now there's a problem. I'm in love with him. no it's not a crush. I've felt like this for the past year. I can't stop thinking about him and I finally told him how I feel. o, btw, srry. He's my 2nd cousin. Not 1st. anyway, I told him and he said he feels the same way. Problem is, neither of us knows what to do. No, we haven't slept together or anything it's just that we're both in love with eachother. what do I do? Plz help.

I am not telling you that I believe you should pursue this issue with your much older cousin, but oddly, I found a link of which states allow cousins to wed. Here is the link: http://www.cousincouples.com/info/states.shtml
Here are some facts about marrying cousins: http://www.cousincouples.com/info/facts.shtml
Here is an article about marrying cousins:http://www.slate.com/id/2064227/
Here is a link about statutory rape laws by state, it can show you what age is defined as under age and the consequences of the offender:http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-R-0376.htm

I would like to point out some things before I leave you with all these sites to look at.

#1- Would you be okay with your family disowning you and your cousin because of your actions? Most people, even though it is legal, frown upon this type of thing. There is a chance you will lose all the people you love. Is it worth it?

#2- Why isn't your cousin married? Does he have any personality traits that women have a problem with and that's why he isn't married? He could be abusive, too controling, or have more deep seeded mental issues that you know nothing about. What would you do if you were in a situation to where you want out, but have forgone all your family and have no where to turn?

#3- Are you really ready to settle down when you are so young? Do you not want to live part of your life as an adult before making such a big decision? This type of decision is different than having a relationship with someone that is not related to you.

All I am saying is to use your common sense and let your gut instinct tell you if this is the right thing to do or not.

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well im 17 and i like boys you can say im a little boy crazy and i have had boyfriends in the past but at my school there are alot of couples and i get all sad when i see cute couples walking in school when ever i see them hold hands i get sad whenever i see the couples kiss or play around i get all sad and i start to feel lonley i dont know what to do i mean im not ugly you know and im pretty nice... how do i get a boyfriend? if thats not the right think to do then what do i do to not feel lonley but still have a guy without him being my boyfriend and if then how do i just get my mind of boys???? :) any advice?

Have you ever heard that expression, "the grass is always greener on the other side"? I have this problem sometimes too. I always get wrapped up in the what-ifs. See, I am married, have been for 6 years now. However, sometimes I let my mind wander off and think what would it be like to be single again. It is always that nagging feeling of could my life be different if I were to do this instead of this. Let me tell you what I have learned, I am right were I am suppose to be, because God leads us down the path that we are suppose to be on. It is up to us, to take that path and make the best of it.

If you are set on wanting to find a boyfriend, find someone that you wouldn't mind being friends with first. At least this way, it takes the pressure off of finding a boyfriend and not being yourself. You should never feel lonely, just think "hey, I am alive, healthy, and free to make my own decisions." Once you realize that you are perfect for who you are, and not disabled because of what you are not, you will feel comfortable with yourself and start to develop healthy relationships.

Happy "blissfullness" to you!

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i lov a girl n she loves me too. she was in a relation with a boy for an year then they broke up.she said that on the name of physical relationship she had only smooched him once. after 6 months since our relationship started i met with the boy and he claims to hav had sex with her,when i questioned her she admitted that he had touched her , but not below the belt. now should i belive her or not? is she telling the truth?
she say she cant live withot me but am a kind of guy who wants to marry a virgin girl.
p.s. i am 19 and my girlfriend is 18.

If you are too concerned, there is an option to find out if she has lost her virginity. You can take her to the doctor and have her hymen checked. That is the only way to ensure that she is a virgin.

I want to say a few things, first, it is very rare that if someone is in a relationship for a year, that they only kissed once. It is also unrealistic to believe that she would expect you to believe this. I agree that yes she lied to you, but it may have not been as bad as you think.

The other thing that I wanted to mention is trust. If you cannot trust her to tell you the truth, or you don't believe her, then this relationship is doomed to fail before you even give her the chance to explain herself. A relationship is based on trust, and once you lose that trust, it is hard to gain back.

It is hard to tell if she is lying or telling the truth, because we aren't the ones living in this situation. We don't know her personally and we can't judge a lie from the truth based on the information you have given us. It is best to say that communication is key when it comes to relationships. I would suggest talking to her. Let her know that you can possibly overlook the fact that she isn't a virgin, but you cannot over look the fact that she lied to you repeatedly. Maybe then, you two can work together and find a compromise on this situation.

Happy "findings" to you!

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for a very long time nothing boy wise was going my way i would start talking to a boy then as soon as i started liking him something would happen and we would stop talking like that well last weekend i was hanging at my friends cousins house and we really clicked and we kissed so i thought that things were finally working out for me but he hasnt called. i honestly dont know what else to do. i feel like theres something wrong with me but i dont know what to think anymore. any comments/advice>!>

The unfortunate problem with guys at this age, and I am assuming teen age, is they are more concerned with themselves than finding that one true love. Most teen aged boys are more concerned with school, sports, school activities, friends, hanging out, and unfortunately sex. I am not saying all are like this, but a majority are.

It could be that you are attracted to the wrong type of boy, and this makes it more complicated for you. This will also destroy your self-esteem and make you doubt your appeal to turn on the opposite sex.

I would suggest finding someone that you are comfortable with and start as friends. If things take a turn for the worse, your heart wasn't attached and you can feel good that you weren't turned down as a potential love interest. If things start to take a turn for the better, then you know you have found someone that you are friends with first and the connection is already there.

One thing to keep in mind, don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Also, don't let them know that they got the best of you. If you play it off so it looks as if you weren't affected by their actions, chances are they will become more intrigued.

Happy "better times" to you!!

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ill be 15 in a week and im with this guy and im kinda prude. i dont really no how to not be prude like i just feel akward soometimes when he like feels me up and stuff. and his friend asked me today why i went to his house last nite and no one was there and we didnt do n e thing then he called me prude. i feel so akward now. and idk what he ment by doing nothing but we couldnt have sex or n e thing cuz im on my period but he doesnt no that. ahhhhh this suckss. i would appricate some advicee =]

I am not trying to sound all momish or anything, but you will know when you are ready. This is not something you can do to just get it over with and hope for the best. This is something that you have to do with your head, and not your heart or embarassment.

As for last night, tell him that there were reasons beyond your control and in the hands of Mother Nature interfering with your ability to take things further last night. If he doesn't understand that, just tell him it was a female thing. He should understand that. Also, this may help him comprehend why things didn't escalate any further, and make him back off on the name calling.

Ok, going to go all momish again. Do you really want to lose your virginity to someone who pressures you and calls you names? I would think you would want to be with someone that makes you happy and completes you as a person, not belittles you. Remember you have the right to be A) treated with respect and B) move at the pace that is comfortable for you. If the person you are with doesn't understand that, then maybe he is not the right one for you.

Happy "soul searching" to you!

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ok, so i have a problem with the guy i like and guys i used to like. all of them are taken by my friends (except for one, but that not important), but i liked them before they even got together. so what is my problem? i know there's one person for everyone, but i can't help but to feel lonely.

and please don't tell me i'm too anxious and all that stuff. i've already heard all that.

It seems as if you have that type of personality that can and will flirt with everyone. As long as you don't try to act on your impulse to want to be with these guys that are with your friends, all should be fine.

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13/f they're 14/m



i was walkin around and "bobs" friends come up to me.

[[heres our convo]]

them:hey rachel... do you like bob?
me: [[i lied and said]] no
them: aw why not? he likes you!
*bob comes up next to them.*
them:bob dont you like her
bob: yeah. *bobs sorta laughs and looks away*
me: dont play with me.
*i walk away*

ive never talked to bob before..
ive just had a major crush....
do you think they're joking?

i think they are.. i just wana make sure.

It sounds to me as if they caught wind of your crush and wanted to get a laugh out of you. What is it they call it now days? Lulz? Anyways, just avoid them, and I would suggest that you drop that crush of yours before it becomes something more humiliating and devastes you.

For future reference, don't let the bad guys get you down. Let them know that you are a strong, independent person, who can and will not tolerate stupidity.

Good Luck!!

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ok, so a friend of mine has this 30 year old cousin and he keeps saying he loves her and she loves him to, problem is, she's in love with him. she's like 16 so they're like 15 yrs apart. He keeps patting her on the hip and butt and it doesn't really make her uncomfortable. Anyway, when she told me she's in love with him I was shocked. She knows it's wrong but doesn't know what 2 do. To make things more complicated, she lives in a home with a dad who is always blaming her for things and stuff and a mom who doesn't do anything about it. She would leave but she's got no where 2 go. She told her cousin and he said they would get a house 2gether in a while. She doesn't know what 2 do. She isn't sure if she should stay away from him which she can't seem 2 do anyway or tell him how she feels. any answer would b helpful.

Did you actually say this was her cousin? If so, that in and of itself makes illegal. Not to mention the age difference could get him into trouble as well. I would just point out to her that if they were to get caught, he could go to jail for two different offenses. Let her know that even though she likes him, it's to risky to actually go through with this. Also, remind her that in a few years, when she is more mature and her senses have kicked in fully, would she really want to be in a relationship with a 15 year older cousin of hers? I think not.

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