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Incest
ok, here's the deal, I have a 30 yr old cousin. I'm 16, We've always been really close but now there's a problem. I'm in love with him. no it's not a crush. I've felt like this for the past year. I can't stop thinking about him and I finally told him how I feel. o, btw, srry. He's my 2nd cousin. Not 1st. anyway, I told him and he said he feels the same way. Problem is, neither of us knows what to do. No, we haven't slept together or anything it's just that we're both in love with eachother. what do I do? Plz help.
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The age difference is too much hun, in many states, it would even be illegal.
Tell your parents about your feelings, and trust in thier judgement, because right now, your own is leading you astray, and obviously you can't trust his! A 30 something who is leading on a 14 year old (and it is leading you on, because no serious and healthy relationship could come of this and he is old enough to know that) should not have his judgement trusted at all!
Being in love is nice. It's even nicer to be in love with someone you can actually have a healthy, equal relationship with. Go and look for them. If you can't do that on your own, ask another adult for help. You are only just becoming an adult, you can't do it by yourself, and you can't trust him.
Please, take care of yourself. If you can't get over this alone, seek help. It can only hurt you. HE can only hurt you. There is something deeply screwed up about a 30 year old male who tells a fourteen year old girl he is 'in love'. I know this, and deep down you know it too. Reach out to an adult you can trust, and ask for help.
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um, well personally im not against the being with cousins thing, so dont worry about that.
but i think that there is too much of an age difference between you guys. 14 years, so like when you were born he was 14, thats alot.
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Are you in love or in lust? There's a difference.
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I am not telling you that I believe you should pursue this issue with your much older cousin, but oddly, I found a link of which states allow cousins to wed. Here is the link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are some facts about marrying cousins: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is an article about marrying cousins:[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link about statutory rape laws by state, it can show you what age is defined as under age and the consequences of the offender:[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I would like to point out some things before I leave you with all these sites to look at.
#1- Would you be okay with your family disowning you and your cousin because of your actions? Most people, even though it is legal, frown upon this type of thing. There is a chance you will lose all the people you love. Is it worth it?
#2- Why isn't your cousin married? Does he have any personality traits that women have a problem with and that's why he isn't married? He could be abusive, too controling, or have more deep seeded mental issues that you know nothing about. What would you do if you were in a situation to where you want out, but have forgone all your family and have no where to turn?
#3- Are you really ready to settle down when you are so young? Do you not want to live part of your life as an adult before making such a big decision? This type of decision is different than having a relationship with someone that is not related to you.
All I am saying is to use your common sense and let your gut instinct tell you if this is the right thing to do or not.
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Right now, this is extremely illegal. I really don't like this either way, but I have no room to judge you since I don't know you personally. But this is still illegal.
What I suggest is waiting a few years until you become 18 (when relations with an older man wouldn't be illegal) and still see if you feel the same way. I don't think there are laws against being with second cousins either, but you may have to look that one up. Or go south.
But whether you can or you can't, please wait until you are legal in government's eyes before you two do anything or both of you may end up in deep trouble.
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