about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

15/f
I had sex. I told my doctor b.c. she said it was confidential. She told me she was going to do a pap-smear next time we met. I'm totally against it because I'm not having sex again untill I'm married. Can I like .. refuse to have one?

Of course! You have the right to refuse treatment of any kind at any time.
And, yes, what you tell her is between you and her under the doctor/patient confidentiality rule.

Though it isn't a bad idea to let her check you out to make sure everything is in proper working order, even though you don't plan to have sex again until marriage.

But you don't have to. It is your choice, not your doctor's, or anyone else.

ygs-29/f

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im perty sure this question is probably asked alot but im just gonna ask 1more time! im 14(and a half lol) and hes 18.he gonna be a senior and im gonna be a freshman.i like him and he likes me.i wanna go with him but if i do he told me not to tell anybody cus it might be illegal!is it illegal to be with him?!? or is it only illegl if we participate in sexual acts?i just really dont want to get him in trouble if it is illegal!

To date him is not illegal.

Sexual acts may be considered statutory rape, but I'm not for certain on the age of consent to tell you if you are in the clear at 14, but I would say you'd be shaving pretty close, there.

Look up on your search engine statutory rape + your state (search statutory rape laws if the info you seek doesn't come up), or age of consent + your state and see what you come up with.

ygs-29/f

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Okay, well I found a sore spot on my boyfriend's penis which I think is from me giving him a handjob. He really liked the handjob, he said it was one of the best he's gotten; but I felt bad that it left a sore thats like scabbed up. I'm not sure what to do differently to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Would it be because I didn't use some sort of lubrication and that much rubbing broke the skin? If it is, what should I use. I'm only 15 so I can't go out to a sex shop and get something fancy.

Did you ever stop to consider that maybe you didn't cause the sore spot?
Maybe he got a bit over excited a few times, alone in the dark, and did it to himself...?
So don't feel all that bad, ok?
KY Jelly is sticky after the fact, but works. You may try hand lotion. But you should definitely hold off until the broken skin heals.

ygs-29/f

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Hello people.

My little sister told me this site gives good advice so i'm just gona use her account to ask this question.

I'm 17 years old and half way through year 12. About 3 months ago i found out i was pregnant which my boyfriend was ecstatic about but anyway this is about university.

I wanted to do something to get into childcare and i know you have to do a course on it for one. because i like children and i would love to work with them and two. because i am going to have a baby soon myself and i would be able to take my baby to work and won't have to leave him/her. My mum works and i know she will be able to take care of the baby sometimes but it's my child and i do want to take care of it myself. I was wondering if there was any other kind of jobs that would allow me to take my child to work? I didn't think there would be many but any suggestions would be good.

Please, i don't want bull about how young i am to have a baby and that i can't possibly take care of it myself i just would like some ideas for different careers i could look into.

P.S Any young mothers out there if you have any advice please tell me.

I'm not as young as you, but like you I want to be able to care for my own child.

Good for you, by the way- your child will greatly appreciate you spending this time with them!
That, and the early years are when they learn the most, and I always felt it was best for them to learn right and wrong, ABCs, how to tie their shoe, how to color inside the lines, etc. from a parent, and not a sitter or day care provider.

I don't know what your boyfriend is going to do for you and your child support wise, so this may not be an idea that will work out for you.

My husband works, and I stay home. We scrape by on his paychecks for now, bu when my kids reach school age, I plan to get a job working at the school as a para. (They help students study in class, etc.) Then I can stay home through the young years, and never be at work when they are home from school.

Like I said, I don't know what your situation is with your boyfriend, but I thought I would throw it out there.

Good luck! :)

ygs-29/f

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okay so i want to get a tattoo of a small butterfly on my shoulder (color: dark blue, dark purple, or black), but i'm asking for honest opinions whether people will think that it looks trashy with a wedding dress when i get married because you will be able to see it.

honest opinions please!

thanks in advance

Ok, so your opinion may change in the years between now and your wedding.

If you want the tattoo, get it. If you want it to show when you wear the fabled dress, good- all set. If you don't want it to show, they have cover-up kits you can purchase in the bridal shop. ;)

Personally, I don't think it would look trashy. I got married with my tattoo showing, and it is a black and white tattoo of a yin-yang surrounded by sunburst.
I didn't really care if other people thought it looked trashy. Hell, I was the bride and it was my day.

ygs-29/f

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The guy I like is hated by so many people at our school. Like he dresses extremely preppy (but I LIKE that stylleee). So I heard he's gonna ask me out, but I don't want to say yea, because then my reputation would go bad. Basically, he acts exactly like a girl, which is why so many people hate him. But we get along GREAAATT!
But I really don't want to go out with him beacuse I'm kinda popular and my reputation would die.
Please don't say "do whatever makes you happy," because its much more complicated than that, and I'm really confused... =[
THANKS FOR ANY HELP!!!

Ok... So... You are seriously going to tell me that you are going to allow everybody else to dictate what you like in a guy? Please don't tell me that if they all jumped off a bridge... well, you know the old story...

You like this guy, and he likes you, and you are actually questioning this over the opinion of others? What the hell?!?

If that's what a popular reputation entitles these days, then I think I would rather be the chick hiding in the corner who thinks for herself and choses a guy because he is who SHE likes, not because he is what EVERYONE ELSE approves of..

No offense about that, kiddo, but you really need to learn that your life is YOURS to live, not theirs.

ygs-29/f

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How do you break up with someone who really really loves you, without hurting them? How can you let them know that they're really great, but you just can't be with them?

I think if you are going to break up with him, he deserves to hear it face to face.

You can't break up with him without hurting him, but you will only hurt him worse in the long run if you stay with him for all the wrong reasons. Because you don't want to hurt him is about as wrong a reason as one can have to stay with someone.

Just tell him like you said it- he's really great, but you can't be with him any longer. Tell him you just don't feel for him as does for you, and because you respect him, you refuse to waste anymore of his time and yours.
Tell him he deserves to be with someone who harbors the same feelings for him, and you deserve to find someone to feel that way about.

ygs-29/f

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i have the product red motorola razr from sprint. i want to lock my phone. when i go to settings, and then security, it says "enter lock code". i don't know my lock code- is their anyway i could find this code through internet or do i have to call? i just need to find out what i have to do.

All the phones I've ever had come with a pre-set simple code such as all zeros or number sequences such as 1234.

Try that, and if it doesn't work, call Sprint- they'll be able to tell you, and you should be able to call their customer service from your cell phone free of charge.

ygs-29/f

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so i have a past with this one kid lets call him " dan " okay so me and dan have had a past we hooked up alot and we did more then that alot too and everytime we would hang out wed hook up and do stuff.. well recently my best friend has been talking to him just like friends and now he likes her and i dont know .. im confused what to do like i have a history with him and now he wants my best friend

I understand you have a history and all, but realistically you can't put him up on a shelf to collect dust next to your knick knacks- you have to accept that he is going to move on with his life with someone else, and sometimes that someone is your best friend.

Leave your past where it belongs and move on with your life with someone else who wants to be with you for more than just hooking up now and then.

So you just have to suck it up, and find yourself a guy who you deserve.

ygs-29/f

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hi i read some of your advice and i think your great. but ok.. i'm 13 year's. ok my best friend like's this guy. and she is trying to get with him like boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing. and she wanted me to talk to him and get to know him better for i can tell her right. so i called him and he seem's really cool and i'm starting to like him and i hung out with him a few times before. but we never really talked until i called him. she talk`s to him to. but not enough as me and him talk to each other now. and i asked him out for her because she wanted me to and i didn't want to be mean. which i really hated. but i didn't want her to find out that i liked him. and i called him 2day and asked him sooo what are you gonna say.? and he keep`s on telling me i don't know what do you think i should say. and i wanna say something like she a really good person. but i like him. in your opinion what does that mean for him to keep asking me that.? and is it wrong for me to like him.? please answer. thank you. and sorry i wrote to much. haha. =]

No, I don't think it is wrong for you to like him. If she didn't want to risk such a thing, then she should have had the brass to get to know him herself, rather than to use you as a messenger. (No offense to your friend.)

I would assume that he keeps asking what you think he should say, because maybe he has realized he has feelings for you as well, but doesn't really want to make the decision of who to be with on his own.

Next time he says that, don't give him any answer except for maybe "You are a big boy, and I think you can express your own opinion without my input..." but of course you won't say that in an unfriendly or rude tone of voice. Let him know he needs to make his own decision on this one; you've been put in the middle of this enough.

Just remember: If he decides to be with her, you will have to accept that without anger, just as she should if he were to choose you.

ygs-29/f

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this is me: im 13 im only a small bit over average height, i have slightly tanned skin, im pretty thin, i have short spikey dark blond hair, i skate, i play football, i have a deep voice, i like to wear boards shorts, flip-flops, tee shirts and caps. i wear abercrombie and hollister.i like to play sport and im easy to talk to.

If I were a 13 year old girl, I would probably take notice of you.
You just have to have a little patience and self confidence. :)

ygs-29/f

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I have this friend. He is cute, nice and we were going out for a year. I gave him my e mail adress, cause he wanted it. Than he emailed me right before I went on vacation. Than i didn't get back to him for a while. Then when i got back i emailed him and a week later he still hasn't replied. I dont want to call him or send him too many more e mails but I want him to email me back. What should I do?

Wait for him to reply when he has time.
He had to wait for your reply- correct?

ygs-29/f

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When I was little, my parents never spent time with me, never talked to me unless it was about something i did wrong, and really brought me down.

Now I'm 16, and I'm used to living without my parents basically. They're there, but not there for me.

I think my childhood led up to the reason why I don't have any esteem at all.

I'm trying to make up for those years by hanging out with my friends- and they're calling me "clingy".

I need to try and make up for those little positive moments i never had as a kid, I need to get my esteem past the level of zero.


Any advice on how I can do this?

First off, you need to realize that it isn't your fault your parents weren't parents. No offense to your folks and all, but if they can't ever talk to you without having something nice to say to you, then they aren't "#1 Mom and Dad".

You need to realize that their past treatment of you is THEIR mistake, not yours. And you have to realize that you can't let the mistakes of others get you down, or you will live a sad, sad life.

I can understand how your friends can consider you clingy, but you have to understand that they can't make up for missed moral support that should be given to you by a parental figure. They're just kids, too.

Here is a thought- you may find it silly, but you should consider it:
Go to your local nursing home and hang out. You know, there are a lot of people there that have low self esteem and feel neglected by their children and families- just as you feel.

Start talking to some sweet little old lady. She won't mind if you are clingy- she greatly enjoys the company. She can make you feel good about yourself, and you could give her the same favor in return.

Your friends can help you have positive moments in your life, but not quite the same as a trusted adult, such as the sweet little old lady who is always ecstatic to see you. :)

ygs-29/f

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okay, so i dont like teh lengh of my hair, its about shoulder length. i really reallly want my hair to grow longer. but it just wont! its never been longer than it is now. and it like wont grow anymore =[
does anyone have any tricks or tips i can use to make it grow faster?

(kinda like running it under cold water makes it shiny)

Well, a lot of problem lies with breakage when your hair refuses to grow any longer. Breakage isn't only caused from chemical treatments, but from everyday hair styling with heat as well.

Deep condition at least once a week. My hair is damaged from color treating, and John Frieda Frizz-Ease works great! Even if your hair isn't chemically treated. It's a little pricey, but well worth the money spent. Trust me, I've spent a lot of cash trying to find a good deep conditioner. ;) You can get it at Walmart, or anywhere.

Here is a link to show you what it looks like:

http://www.trustedbeauty.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=11699

Also, you may consider taking a multi vitamin. If your body lacks vitamins, your hair and nails show it.

ygs-29/f

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I'm really interested in finding out...what's a rule that you've set for yourself that you plan to abide your whole life long? Just list any form of wisdom you could pass on. I love being inspired. Thank you!

I don't care what other people think of me- the only person I'm here to impress is myself. I'm nobody's pet monkey.

Dare to be different. I refuse to become a face in the crowd or a mindless robot.

Know that I'm not above anyone, but I can strive to be above their actions.

ygs-29/f

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Okay, so, a week ago, my boyfriend and I messed around... a lot. Although we didn't have sex and we were careful about everything, something happened that made him worry.

He came kind of on my stomach and it dripped down and kind of went down there. I wasn't worried because first of all, I was wearing a tampon, and second of all, I was on my period, so I didn't think anything could happen. Plus, I don't think you can get pregnant just by having cum in that area.

But he was all freaked out. And NOW, I've been having this brown discharge (I asked a question about it yesterday), and on a site, it said that brown discharge could be a sign of early pregnancy.

So... is it possible that I'm pregnant??

If you become 2 weeks late for your next period and take a pregnancy test, then you will know.
If you are a teen, then waiting 2 weeks is ideal considering your menstural cycle isn't likely regulated, for starters.
Also, you need to allow enough time for enough progesterone to show up in you urine for an accurate test result.
You are far more likely to get a false negative result than false positive from testing too early.

I had a baby a few months ago, and I have a pretty clear memory of being pregnant, and nowhere in my brain's little pregnancy filing cabinet do I recall ever having brown discharge.
Feelings of fatigue, moodiness, sore swollen breasts, stuff like that is what I remember. And those can be confused with PMS symptoms. The only way to really know is to wait it out and see if your period comes.

Yah, it is possible. Slim chances, though. It's moist down there making it easy enough for sperm to just swim their way in...

ygs-29/f

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ok im apoligizing now for the legnth bc its gonna be like but like I REALLY need advice so if you gave me some ill love you for EVERRRR..

Little background:
alright so my school is clique like no joke ok so i have this one friend emily and the rest of my friends dont like her. like she just doesnt fit like shes a slut, she drinks. and the rest of us just like to hang out and have a good time and thats just not her she'd rather be drinking and doing shit with guys. and we always gett in fights with her. like all the guys and girls in my 'clique' dont like her, and we think as soon as we get in high school (which is where were going this year) shes just gonna ditch us. which wasnt really gonna bother us bc the all the upperclass man HATEEEE our freshman class. bc we have a bunch of sluts. and number one on girls to beat the crap out of is her. and people think because were friends wtih her were like her and were not.

Story:
ok so the other night at my other friends house i got in a fight with emily and i told her how nobody wanted to be friends with her bc of those reasons and shes like thats bull and crap and she said how we shouldnt care what other people think and to some ecstent shes right but its high schoool its been that way for howeverlong and were not gonna change it, so. and at first all my firends were like good i hate her now we dont have to be friends with her but now emilys calling like the two girls in my clique that she noes are easy like to get friends wtih her agian bc they havent been friends with her that long and mind you ive been friends with her since second grade. and is like I LOVE YOU THIS IS SUMMER WE SHOULDNT BE FIGHTING. and there like yeah thats true adn now there all buddie buddies with her and like i dont know it pisses me off bc there two faced. and when i say shes all we talk about like im not lieing. it terriable but i dont no


ok so like i no theres no really question in there its just more like what do you think offf the whole decision bc i dont really regret my decision of not being friends with her its just im i dont know. just tell me what you think of everyhting

We are all free thinking individuals who are graced with choices and free will. I just really don't get it how we allow others to dictate what we think about someone or something because of how they feel about it.

If she wants to have a slut reputation, then so be it. She is right in thinking that she shouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks about her. She should only worry about what she thinks of herself.

If you don't want to be friends with her because of her rep, or whatever else, then don't be- plain and simple. But you have to accept it if your other friends want to continue to hang out with her.

There is no since in being mad at your friends who are being friendly with her. It doesn't necessarily make them two-faced. Maybe they are just friendly people? Maybe they don't have a problem with her? (Even though I understand they may tell you they do.)

But yah, they could be two-faced, and if so, why waste your time on that sort of friendship, either? I would rather be friends with a slut than a back stabber. How about you?

When you get into an argument with someone, never tell them "This is why nobody likes you" you tell them "This is why I don't like you" because you aren't likely stating fact when you speak for everyone. Not that you asked, but I thought I'd just throw that out there for you to consider.


ygs-29/f

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hi im 14 m and i had a question.i tend to masturbaute quite often (maybe like once a day or every couple of days)..but i was wondering.i know that everytime you masturbaute and ejucatulate your body produces new sperm.but is it possible to run out,or is it possible that after a while it can cause like birth defects or anything?
please answer .. thanks : )

Like Jack said, it doesn't cause birth defects and is perfectly healthy (and normal).
No, you will not run out of sperm, so no worries. ;)

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Sorry for my obsessive question asking, but this should be one of the last ones:
I just dyed my hair, and it looks great:]. I am going over my friends house at 5 to go swimming, and have a sleepover. Will the pool mess up my color permantly?

-Woahtherebabe

No problem, Woah! :)

Chlorine can possibly cause your hair to have a greenish tinge to it if you colored it blonde or brown...

It isn't a certain thing that will happen, but it is possible. It happened to me before. :(

Since your hair color is still "fresh" and you are worried about messing it up, you may want to avoid dunking your head into the water. If you do, try to wash your hair as soon as you get out of the pool to get the chlorine washed out.

I'm glad you finally got it to hold in your hair! I bet you were getting pretty frustrated there... :)

ygs

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I am doing the hair sample it says to, by combining the 2 formulas. I cutoff the hair, put the mixed product on it, and let it sit for 10-20 minutes. It was already damp when I put the stuff on. I looked at it after the 10-20 minutes, and the product was still on it, and nothing happened.

Am I doing this wrong?

What is the color of coloring you have chosen and the current shade of your hair? It may be that you need to time it for longer to see a result?

It should say a maximum amount of time that it can be left in your hair. For example, say it is a max of 40 minutes. Instead of 20 minutes, check it in 30. If that is no good, check it in 40.

I'm not sure. Semi permanent doesn't actually change the color of the strand as permanent does, but covers it so it can be washed out. So it makes it a little more difficult to achieve your desired color.

But yours isn't working at all, and that is strange. So try timing it for longer periods.

Hopefully that will work! I wager this is getting pretty frustrating for you! :)

P.S. I'm not sure when you left the feedback, but I apologize if it took me a while to get back to you. :)

--------

It was damp, meaning the hair? If that was what you meant, then your hair should be dry if using a permanent color.

However, if you are using a product called "Casting" which washes out in 20 washes or so (supposedly washes out...) then you are right in having the hair damp.

But if I remember right, you are using permanent? If so, your hair won't take the color if it is damp or wet.

Try it again with a dry hair sample and see if that comes out. If not, let me know and we'll see what else we can figure out. :)

ygs-29/f

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