NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: 14/f

My crush and I like each other, but we're not going out yet, but I know he's going to ask me soon.

ANYWAYS:
A few weeks ago I had a dream that I had sex with my crush in my backyard.

I figured it probably didnt mean anything, but then last night I had another dream that I was giving his a blowjob.

I'm very confused, because can girls have wetdreams? Also what does this mean?

It's very common to have sexual dreams whether you're female or male. They can be completely bizarre or they can be quite pleasant.

It's just your subconscious sorting through things, so don't take anything from it.

Q: My parents have had three cats since I was born. [[15 years ago]] Recently two of them died because of old age. My parents got them at the same time and a couple years later they got the third one.

The third one got real close to the other two over the past years and their death has been real hard for her. She's not the same cat she was before. She won't eat right, you have to hold her food in your hand for her to take it. The same with water, she'll go without it unless you hold the bowl. All she does is sleep on the back of the couch and she looks so pitiful. Sometimes she even acts like she's not all there, like she's been drugged or something.

We have a puppy that used to bother her but the puppy kinda grew out of it, so that's not an issue with her being upset.

Does anyone have ANY advice on what to do? How can I make her feel better? I wanna help her so bad but I don't know how.

And yes, she's been to the vet, she says there is nothing wrong with her, health wise.

Thanks

The same thing happened to my friend's dog when their guinea pig died. He eventually cheered up and stopped moping, but animals grieve just like people do!

Q: if my bf and i are both virgins, could we still get STDs?

You can get an STD without having sex. Pretty much any contact with genitals can transfer a disease. He should always wear a condom.

Q: I would like to be a fashion magazine editor or journalist when I finish college. I am a senior in high school right now. What kind of degree do I need to be eligible for the job of an editor or journalist at a fashion magazine? And what can I do for the rest of my senior year to get ready for it? Thanks.

You'd want to get a degree in journalism. It's a B.A. Pretty much, though, you'd have to be very lucky and extremely involved in journalism before you attempt to begin a career in a field like that, because there is an awful lot of competition.

To start, get involved in your school newspaper. Try to be the editor, or a contributor. Keep up with stuff like that in university, and you'll have a lot of experience.

The thing with a career choice like yours is that you're more likely to end up working for a sports magazine or a town newspaper than you are to be the editor of Cosmo... but try your hardest and good things are bound to happen :)

Q: I have very bad eczema on my left hand and a little on my right hand. It flares up, I treat it with Demovate Steroid Cream and it goes down after about a week and a half. Three weeks later, just as my skin has healed, it comes back. This has been happening for six months and I need something that will get rid of it.

My doctor is referring me to a Dermatologist but I was wondering if there are any natural or herbal remedies for eczema I could try or anything I could do to prevent it? It feels like my hand is on fire first, then it's SO intensly itchy I can only run ice all over my hand constantly to help it and when it goes, my skin is wrinkled and prune like, scabby where I scratch in my sleep and the skin peels away.

Please help me if you can!

I have eczema in the same places, and I feel your pain! I use Hydrocortisone cream. The best way to heal it is to put on the cream thickly at night, then put on cotton gloves over top and leave them that way while you sleep. It sounds like a pain, but it really helps the lotion to absorb better into your skin.

Is there an allergy that's causing this? I know that I always have problems when I stay at my parents' house, because of their dog.

Q: i want to learn to dance like the waltz, tango, and other romantic things like that but do girls think that it cool because i can ball room dance but i can't dance like at the clubs

I dated a guy who did swing dance lessons, and it was adorable. It makes for a great date if you can teach her some moves in private :)

Q: I asked a question earlier about boy troubles... and some answers were not what I was looking for. I'm typing this again but adding more information.

Ok... so I like 2 guys and I dont know which one I like better. I already did a Pro-Con situation and both of them tied. I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DATE YET. So I can't do that. And I'm a very shy person so I'm too scared to talk to them. I look at them a few times in school. So can somebody help me? (again) I dont know which guy to choose. Thanks,.

Choose for what? If you're not allowed to date, your question doesn't make much sense!

You CAN like both of them, you know...

Q: alright, im studying for a test, and im in desperate need of your help..physics is HARD!
if you can't answer any of thequestions..maybe you've heard of a good physics-website that explains this kinda stuff (cause my physics book is waaayy to complicated!!) thanks

So here we go,

what the heck is displacement (S) as in v = s divided by t?? and how do you use it, like in what type of questions?
how do you calculate the instantaneous velocity??
and like, what is it??

thaank youu!

Okay... so here's a simpler explanation than the one below...

Displacement is just the distance from one point to another. So if a car moves from S=1 to S=6, the car's displacement is 5.

Instantaneous velocity is the velocity at any given point. It's different from velocity, which is the total displacement divided by the total time.

Q: ok so there's this girl in school and well she's a big dork and she doesn't shower daily. She's pretty much the biggest skank ever.

well lately she has been getting this scab on her top lip and on her bottum lip i mean they are huge! The bottum covers 75 % of her chin and the top covers like 25% well her lips are gross to. but these scabs are like red around the edges and yellow puss looking stuff on top. i can't figure out wat it is. and i want to help her get rid of it cuz she's helpless to it. wat should i say to her about it? and wat do you think it is? i don't think she is sexual active so im guessing its not herpes or anything like that. shes only in the 7th grade so i really don' think thats a factor in this. its really gross and she is being made fun of for it i feel sorry for her please answer allllllll the questions!

EDIT -- Hey, hey... calm down! You DID ask for my advice, and, unfortunately, for most people that often involves their opinion. So you kind of did ask for my opinion. I've known people like this, and judged them just like you judge this girl. Now, I'm older and a little wiser and nicer, so I can say with the benefit of hindsight that you're being a little cruel in your description of this girl. I did give you an answer, so your rudeness was quite uncalled for. :)

First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a dork, and you shouldn't judge people by their outer appearances. Middle school is an awkward time for people, and it takes some time to get used to getting older, so she may just be overwhelmed by it.

Lecture over.

Pretty much, it sounds to me like a cold sore gone horribly, horribly wrong. Like, if she had a cold sore and picked at it, and it got bigger? That's all I can think of.

Q: 13/f 8th grader. I've been becoming stressed out alot lately.. I don't ever get enough sleep(12:00am? - 6:00am), I'm trying my best to get my homework done and its hard, Trying my best to keep my grades up, also trying to keep doing good in basketball to make the high school team, I'm also trying to get this boy to date me but he is leading me on and everything..I always never get to listen during class cause i'm always trying to get my homework done for the next period! What should I do to help myself out a bit?.. Thanks in advance..

You're finally getting to the stage in life where you have to learn to prioritize... congratulations!

So, one thing to keep in mind is that homework is always the most important thing. Do your mandatory stuff first, that way you don't lose any marks. If you can get away with not doing something, like math practise problems, try doing every other one, that way you get the practise without spending all the time.

If you enjoy basketball, think of it as something fun you're doing, sort of like a reward for hard work... that way it doesn't seem like something you have to do.

The other thing to remember is that you're 13, you're still young... so don't worry about dating too much. If it happens, it happens, but it's not a huge deal. I didn't have my first date until I was 15... It seemed like the end of the world at first, but I eventually came to realize that dating takes up way too much time and effort!

Good luck!

Q: so i started birth control about a month ago. i was just ending my period. i'm on allesse. so i started taking the pink pills.. and i started the green ones three days ago. i still dont have my period and there's no chance that i'm pregnant because i've never had sex. is this normal?

I was on Alesse too, and the same thing happened to me. Don't worry :)

Q: OK heres the deal I wanta play basketball but if i do i dont think i will "play" i didnt last year and i doubt that i will this year. My coach last year the same as this... called me fat and he dont think i am any good so i think i will sit out every game. my friends want me to play and everything they will hate me if I dont. I need help deciding before Sunday.

PS my softball coach said that i should play and so did my volleyball coach. I think phhyiscaly i shouldnt but mentally I want to.

Do what makes you happy. If you enjoy basketball, then go for it! Your coach may be a jerk, and that may be a deterrent, but if you can get by that issue, then play!

I certainly hope your friends wouldn't hate you for not playing... if they would, then they're pretty horrible friends.

Q: Ok so theres this guy where not going out but we have had sex and i love him very much i dont think he feels that way about me. But he's kind of a man whore...but hes says im different from everyone else. I dont know what i should do because the last couple nights he's been going over to this girl kelseys house and she gave him head and god knows what else. I dont get it because i thought he thought i like wasnt good enough for him but that chick Kelsey is a total downgrade from me. Im thinkin since when is he a chubby chaser cuz shes definitely not skinny. What should i do?

This guy sounds like a jackass to me. Ditch him! You sound young enough that you can move on with your life.

If you aren't officially going out, he probably takes it as free license to screw around. So either actually get him into an official relationship so that guidelines can be set down, or let him go.

Oh, and for future reference, there's nothing wrong with chubby girls... we have our positive points too :)

Q: all my friends are ragging me that i don't wear any thongs i was wondering why people wear them anyways since they so uncomfortable and what should i do about my friends

Well, they're not really that uncomfortable... try an actual thong instead of a g-string. They're far more comfortable.

I personally wear them for me, because they make me feel a little sexier.

As for your friends, make fun of them back! Ask them why they're so concerned about your underwear. It really doesn't matter, your underoos are your choice!

Q: what are the basic things you need for make-up?

and what are the steps for putting it on [[like best]] thank youuu!

All I'd suggest is to start minimally... the girls who wear full makeup all the time look kinda silly :P

I myself only wear eyeliner, mascare and lip gloss... Go for a dark brown or black mascara and a black eyeliner. Just apply the liner to the upper inner rim of your eyes, and only use one coat of mascara. That way, you get a nice natural look that takes almost no time!

Q: I'm addicted to soda.
I drink up to three a day and I always have one before I go to school to wake me up. When I don't have one, I get big headaches. I really need to stop drinking them, but I've tried so many different methods and none of them worked.

Does anyone know any tips to quitting?

Well, your problem is probably caffeine-related. I know a lot of people who have developed caffeine addictions, and it's really rough to get out of.

Here's what's worked before... if you're drinking a caffeinated pop, cut down your number over the course of a week or so. Replace it with decaffeinated pop (I know that there's Caffeine-Free Coke and Pepsi) so you won't be missing out on pop, but you won't be pumping yourself full of caffeine.

Q: Hey there,

It is 4:30 AM where I live. I just couldn't sleep after that horrible experience I had with my mother. We are both obese, and she is fatter than I am.

Here's the story:
I lost a lot of weight during summer vacation in Egypt. Went to the gym, started a healthy lifestyle... Unfortunately, by the end of summer, nobody was taking me to the gym, so since they won't let me go by myself, my body became lazy again.
Summer vacation is now over and we're back in Saudi Arabia. My treadmill is just sitting there, but I'm not encouraged to use it.
I started eating junk food again, and eating chocolate whenever it was available. I have this stupid belief that chocolate makes me feel better, but it's actually making me gain weight!

Anyways, that is not the problem. The problem is that my mother always makes me feel like crap. Although everybody tells me I'm pretty, I can't remember the last time she called me that. What is her problem? Is she jealous because I lost some weight and she didn't?
Also, she keeps making hurtful comments bout my arms and abs and how I should lose weight.
"A girl your age shouldn't have this body," she would say.
Amazingly, I have high self esteem; I find myself pretty, despite the extra pounds. However, my mom is the only person who is perfectly capable of bringing me down.
The only nice thing she said to me was 3 weeks ago: "You lost weight. Keep it up."
Today though, I was trying on a skirt I just bought and it was too tight. She just looked at me as though I were an elephant and said: "Oh my God! Take it off before it rips!"
The weight is not the only issue. She never said "I am proud of you." NEVER!
I totally envy my friend because she told me her mother took her aside and told her how proud she was of her.

I keep asking myself: is my mom the right mom for me? Why does she keep hurting my feelings like that? Does she think I enjoy being fat?
Having high self esteem does not mean I like being fat!

I can't talk to her because she NEVER truly listens. Yesterday I asked for her opinion bout the topic of an article I'm going to write, and she wouldn't take her eyes off the bloody TV! She just says: huh ? what?
Then she accuses me of mal pronunciation!
"What kind of mother are you!?" I heard myself shout. She didn't even react!

So advicenators, don't tell me I should talk to her because she simply talks and never listens.
I am on the verge of crying and can't sleep...
What advice do you have for me?

-Totally devastated.

I know how you feel... I'm a little overweight, and my parents are always calling me names like "sow" and "pig" and telling me how fat I am. Really, I'm happy with the way I look, and I'm a fairly healthy weight!

I'm glad that you feel good about the way you look, because that's half the battle! Part of the reason you're probably not inspired to exercise is because you want to do it for the wrong reasons... if you make it about being healthy and having fun, then you'll enjoy it more than if you make it about losing weight.

What about finding an activity that you like to do that you can do in your own house? Something like yoga or pilates can be done if you get an instructional video.

You can't choose your mother, unfortunately, and I know that sucks, but just remember that whether you like them or not, she's the only one you have. Try to let her know how discouraging she's being; maybe she doesn't think she's being hurtful.

Q: Hi im a 13 yr old male and i like to wear girls panites thongs and bras...is there anything wrong with this , is this normal, is it like a sin to do it?
Thanks , answer asap please

First of all, ignore the person below me who wrote that it's weird.

No, there's nothing wrong with it. It just makes you a little different, that's all. It's more common than you might think... I should know, I worked in lingerie store!

It may be against your particular organized religion, so it may be considered a sin, but what you have to think about is the fact that you can't take everything that the Bible says literally... or else it would be a sin for girls to walk around with their hair showing! So just look at what you think of it, and if it makes you happy, do it!

Q: I have a mom tht is a control/protect freak she always wants things her way. I have to have my room the way she wants it my computer has to face the way she wants it and she always says when im with her im on her time and the problem is tht she always wants me to do her stuff. I run to the car, get the mail, take out the garbage(sumtimes), and do everything to care of my dog and she still doesn't appreciate me. She is way over protective. She doesn't like me goin places without her or my dad even tho i end up goin it usually takes hours of fighting and begging and crying. I am tired of her controling my life especially my room. I want my room to be MY room not hers. I like my room messy cuz then it feels like i actually live in it. What should I do? I dnt know how to talk to her cuz she always blocks me off but she never blocks my brother off when he is having problems. I dont get it she always says i have to wait till my dad comes home to discuss what is happeneing When i try to talk to her she takes things away and says she is in control!!!! i hate it she always says i dnt understand anything and i never will. When my brother calls me slut, dunce,bitch, etc. and i tell her she doesn't do anyting about it she just tells him not to and when i do those sort of things she punishes me. i cnt take it anymore HELP MEE!!

Just so you know, I've been living away from home for a year now, and I had a lot of the same problems with my family.

Well, I hate to say it, but she is your mother, and you are her child. Pretty much, as long as you live under her roof she does have the right to keep your room the way she wants it. As for the problems with getting the mail, taking the garbage out, etc... it's chores! As a contributing member of your family you should be doing chores. It doesn't sound like she's asking anything unreasonable of you in that respect. When it comes to being overprotective, she probably thinks she's helping you. I know it's annoying, but it's better than a mom who doesn't care!

Q: Okay.

Im not skinny.
But im not fat.

And i think that the fact that im not 100 pounds is keeping guys from being interested in me.

I mean..i am confident..but i never have the courage to talk to them...even if they SEEM interested...i dont know what to do because with my friends..i have confidence..but in school im not always with my friends..so i get really, really shy...any advice?

thnx

In regards to guys not liking you because you're not a toothpick... boys may THINK they want a twig, but the real men like a girl who looks like she eats. Even though I know it's hard to wait, just remember that they'll grow up some day.

And as for getting shy when you're not around your friends, try what I do. The way I try to look at it is, every stranger is a potential friend... so if I'm outgoing towards those people, then they could be my friend and then I won't have to be shy anymore! I found that really helps, because naturally I'm really shy, but I've met a lot of new people over the past few years.

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.