about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

i was just wondering if this makes me fat.. because i think i am.. im 16 i weigh 107 and i wear size 5 pants.. just wondering what you think please be honest.

A lot of people have distorted views about their own bodies. Weighing 107 and having size 5 pants is very thin. When we see actresses and people on TV they usually seem to have the "perfect" body shape and size. This throws off the way society views women and how women view themselves. There's a line in the song "What A Scene" by the Goo Goo Dolls that says "when you're looking for truth on the cover of a magazine how does it feel?" The answer is most definitely "not so good". Look at yourself through your own eyes instead of through what you believe you have to look like to be put on a magazine because, truthfully, being that "perfect" isn't really all that attractive. Being so thin isn't healthy. As much as people like seeing pictures of and watching crazy thin women on TV, when you actually see them in person it's pretty sickening. Every person has their own beauty and are perfect in a different way. Having a little meat on your body, having a shape, is part of being a person. Don't try to be what nature doesn't want you to be. People think you're very attractive and I'm not just saying that. It's really sad that our society puts up such ridiculous standards for women as if we can really change the way we are. You're not fat by any standards. Take a look at the people around you, Your classmates, not what you see in the media. You're probably thinner than 95% of them. If you are considered fat than pretty much everyone would be considered fat. I'd probably be considered obese. I weigh 135 and I'm pretty darn skinny. If you won't take my word for it, ask your doctor. Using your height and weight you can determine where you stand on average with people your height.

http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm

There's no reason not to feel good about yourself. I hope I was able to help you and good luck.

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Hi!

I would like to know having sex how many times a day, is healthy...

Thanks.

With warm regards,

Udhay.

I know of a couple that had sex 7 times in one day and the guy ended up getting raw and couldn't touch even himself for at two weeks. Don't have sex in too much excess. Bad things happen. The more often you have sex, the more you increase your chances of pregnancy too. Go easy.

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I'm 17 years old and I weigh under 100 pounds. I don't have an eating disorder or anything like that. In fact I eat a lot, and I'm pretty healthy. I don't like feeling so skinny though and I want to know if anyone has the same problem and if you have any suggestions for me to gain some weight? I've always been so small and weighed so little and seriously, if I got to even just 100 pounds I would be so happy. Smallness is kind of genetic in my family but I want to gain! Help please.

Talk to your doctor or a dietician about it. It may not be healthy for you to try to gain weight, but if it is than your doctor or dietician will be able to give you a better diet and better suggestions than anyone on here. Just eat more, or eat less healthy foods aren't good choices. You have to eat the right types of foods in the right amounts. I know a girl that has had problems with this and her doctor helped her out a lot. Good luck!

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I'm completely fed up with tampons. I want to use them but I think Im putting them in the wrong way. Can anyone tell me how exactly you know its the right place/ right way and why they don't go in all the way when I try to push them in?

Sometimes tampons just aren't for you. They don't fit right for some people. I used to use them and they'd hurt so much. Now I'm older and I can use them just fine. There really isn't a correct way to put them in that you can't figure out on your own. If they don't fit right then you probably shouldn't wear them or maybe you can try a different kind. There's lots of girls out there that don't wear tampons, so don't worry about it too much if you can't get them fit right.

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hey
wats a good IM name to have???
heres some words i like:
pink, love, cherry, juicy, hate, hell, red
n ma name is emma lol
thanks in advance ♥ ◊

redjemma
loveNhateXme
cherrybaby
redhotNpink
pinkflames
emmajuicy1
gotohellXO

Most likely you'll have to add a few numbers onto the end of a few of them. I hope you like! Good luck!

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Well this all started last February...
I met sumone on the internet last January..and she was going to the theater in February.
I thought it would be great to meet her. At the time she went with another boy...her other friends went too. From the moment I saw her that February...ive loved her....so much that i isolated myself for her...What I mean is that her friends liked me left and right...so many liked me at one time it was hard to choose...but I knew it would break her heart to see me going with one of her friends...I rejected all of them and isolated myself for that one person. I have loved her for so long...and I thought it would soon come true that we may love eachother truely..
But we've become sooo close of friends...that she is afraid if we go together that we may break up and lose everything...even our friendship.
Ive told her that i would do nething for her and i love her more than the white hot intensity of a million suns. And ive also told her that i will always love her...i told her this wen i first met her...and here i am...still single waiting on her...ive havent turned down my promise and i was told that i could not keep it...I knew i would keep it...and she is the only thing that i look forward to in my life...she is my everything...

Now im a boy 14 yrs. and i always see these things where there are boys who only has a chapter of love in their lives...but in a girls...its the whole book. Well its a whole vice versa feeling for me...i love her with all my heart and would do nething

I would even let her go with sumone else as long as shes happy...because its as far as i can go...but im trying my best to show my love for her.
I dont want to get over her...shes the love of my life...just tell me what you think i need to do because ive waiting for close to a year now for her...and i know that I think about her until one o' clock at night and wake up at 6:45 just to think about her...im this desperate for her.
She has given me soooo much and i have given her just as much she says...but she just cant get over this one person but he hurts her like shes his slave in life...and i cry for her
I wish it would stop and I kno if we went together right now...paradise will be spread throughout my life because she is all I think about. It may seem that im saying the same thing over and over but I know that if i tried...i could write a book about her..

Someone please help me and i will give you a five if you give me nething..
just please help me


Im desperate for her....and sorry this is sooo long!

Keep after her. Keep doing what you're doing and she may very well go out with you. Reassure her that your friendship won't change a bit once you start going out and it won't ever change because you care so much about her. You're 14 years old so you do have time to wait for her if that's what you want to do. If you find that in a year or so she's not going for it then you need to rethink what you're doing. For the time being though, try to talk her into going out with you. She obviously likes you and I think that if you were to date that your relationship would be a good one. Good luck.

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can someone tell me what is the code that you got to use for myspace to put a song in not a music video and can someone tell me if you can have a music play list like u can have on xanga? thanks i will rate all

http://blingmyspace.com/media.htm

This thing right here is pretty amazing. Get the song URL's from myspace music (like the columnist before me suggested). To get the URL, right click on the title of the song (don't highlight it, just click) and then click on copy link.

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Whats the difference between 'making love' and having sex?? thanks..

They're exactly the same and mean the exact same thing. It's all sexual intercourse. People use different terms to convey the meaning they want to convey. If a guy says to one of his friends "dude I banged Melanie this weekend" he's trying to sound cool in front of his friends, make it sound like he was in control, and make it sound like he did it entirely because of physical urges. Melanie could say to her friends "Wow, I made love with Jack this weekend for the first time and it was really amazing". This gives an entirely different meaning to what happened. The only people that know what really happened are Jack and Melanie because both of them whether they realize it or not will use these terms to make it sound like something it may not have been. Generally "having sex" is thought of as being entirely about physical gratification and "making love" is thought of as being entirely about emotional gratification, but in reality, whenever two people have sexual intercourse there's some of both involved.

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Hey I just had a smoke for the first time and like I smoked the entire thing (inhaling it) and I was fine but with the last two puffs, I felt it go down and then I was like light-headed for a bit.
I'm never going to do it again but is the light-headedness normal and how come it only happened at the last two hits?

The lightheadedness is caused from the lack of oxygen to your brain. I could explain exactly what happens in your body, but I'll spare you the biology lesson. Anyways, the lightheadedness is the "high". Makes smoking sound pretty dumb huh? I'm glad you chose not to do it again. I'm not sure why it happened only from the last two hits because I don't know that much about smoking in those regards. Sorry I can't help you there, but at least now you know why it happens haha. I hope I helped in some way. Congrats again with your choice not to smoke again. You really made the right decision.

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Can you get a girl pregnet after haveing butt sex with her and some cum drips on to her vagina

Yes, but it is very very very very unlikely. I know that most people are going to say "oh my gosh yes", but I've heard this straight from a doctor. I wouldn't be worried about it right now, but in the future use a condom. Not only are there pregnancy risks though extremely small, there are also health risks. For lack of a better way to put this...butts are full of bacteria that can be harmful outside of their environment.

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can someone give me some good song lyrics that make good away messages? it would be helpful if you typed out the lyrics to or copy them off of azlyrics.com for me please! also it would be awesome if you could make them into the fancy pics with them



like stars and stuff in them


thanks!

If you want to use song lyrics for away messages they should have something to do with your mood. Like if you're in love you could put a song like "Amazed" by Lonestar or "Hero" by Enrique Inglesias. The Goo Goo Dolls have some really great songs about how society sucks like "Big Machine" and "What a Scene". It really depends on what you want to convey through the lyrics. If you just want to put really cool or funny away messages it's probably better to use quotes from someone like Jack Handey for example. Searching quotes on the internet is how I get most of my away messages.

*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'`'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*

Okay...that looks really cool when you actually put it in AIM. You can put any words you want into it like so...

*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'`Merry Christmas`'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*


This is really cool too...

(¨`·.·´¨)
`·.¸.Bob

just replace the name with whoever you want

I've seen lots of other ones so just keep your eyes peeled for stuff. Hope I helped and good luck!

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I wnet out with this guy for a year and a day to be exact then i broke up with him because hes much older than i and i like this kid in my grade.. How long before i should date agian?
i was thinkin 4 months?

--13/f--

Whenever you are ready. Don't set a certain amount of time. If you see an opportunity tomorrow that you're ready to take go for it. If nothing comes along for a few months or you're just not ready for another relationship yet that's fine too. It's different for every person. You just have to figure out how much time is right for you. Probably about six weeks would be good to work off of, but don't stick to any schedule. Good luck!

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What are some techniques on how to do a backflip? I really want good advice. What are some good techniques/excersises which I can do at my own house, which does NOT have a trampoline:(. What else?


~Aaron Leung

Try practicing backwards dives at a pool. Another thing you can do are exercises that high jumpers use. These two things are similar to backflips and I believe they involve the same muscles and stuff. I'm sure if you went to the YMCA or another gym the proper equipment would be available to you for backflips and you might be able to get lessons. Good luck and I hope you learn how to do backflips because they're really cool!

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I will rate 5's to any good answers, I need help really bad...please!

I have a boyfriend, Justin. We have been dating for three months today (on and off for about a year, with no communication for 4 months over the summer) and this is the longest we've ever gone out for. He's getting homeschooled until January (long story) and I can only see him during the weekends for the whole day on Saturdays. We both love each other very much. He was my first (I lost my virginity to him.)

Anyways, that's just a little background info. What's been bugging me lately, or rather, scaring me to death, is his attitude towards life. He wants to give up on everything and just end it all. THAT SCARES ME! He thinks he has mouth cancer (he chews and smokes) and his mom is a nurse so she said that yeah, it's probably cancer. He told me last night that he told himself if he ever got cancer he was going to put a bullet in his head. I remember him telling me this before. I made him swear not to do anything and he said okay but if it got any worse he was going to do it. And now when we get off the phone and he's depressed he will be like "baby, I love you so much, don't ever forget that" like that's the last time I will ever talk to him.

The other thing is, he has trust issues. He's admitted to me numerous times it's so hard for him not to get to see me and he doesn't want to end up cheating on me with someone else and hurt be because it's bound to happen because we don't see each other alot and he loooves physical interaction. That hurts me. He also said last night maybe we should break up because I was getting too scared about him commiting suicide and he didn't want me to worry about him. (But we didn't break up after all.) Anyways, since he is being home schooled till January, he claims he has been having people call him and tell him I am cheating on him. Which is not true. At all. He says he can't trust anyone after in 6th grade he got locked up and his girlfriend then did him wrong. I was wondering if you guys could think of any way I can get him to trust me more and be happier. It kills me to see him like this and to have him not trust me. I know he wants to, but he says there's something inside of him that tells him that I am. I can't break up with him, or take a break. I love him too much to do that. Oh, and the guy that someone said I was supposedly all over is calling him tonight to talk to him about it. Um...can anyone offer ANY help? I will rate high! Sorry this is so long!

-Christeena

Okay, he THINKS he has cancer? He needs to get that checked out by a doctor immediately and started getting treated for it if it is cancer. It could get taken care of if caught in the early stages. It's not like he has recurring brain tumors. Tell him that there's no reason for him to commit suicide over something that can maybe be taken care of. Be there to support him emotionally and let him know that you care. Things may not work out between you two. Keep that in mind. He "got locked up" in sixth grade? Does this mean he went to jail? I don't know if this is the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. He's causing you a lot of stress that you shouldn't have to deal with. Don't stay with him just because you lost your virginity to him or to keep him from committing suicide. A relationship involves two people. Don't do it just for him. You need to do it for you too. I'm not saying break up with him because I don't know enough about the situation, but from what you've told me I think that this would be the best thing you can do. Since he's threatened suicide though, remaining friends would be a good idea. He still needs emotional support from someone to help him get through this. I hope everything works out for you and good luck!

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ok this one is for girls to answer..

well.. ok ive been really sad lately..and thats because my crush likes one of the rich snobs..and its not even that..its more like..i want to bring something (makeup wise) about me or sumthing so people are like woah thats *my name*..shes soo cool or soo pretty or just something good..cuz i am a very pretty girl and all and i don't wanna seem like a bitch saying that but i got to have some good thought about me ;] and like i just want people to be like woah shes totally cool and ya i know here.

IM me if you want...xO S0UTH3RNBABii
thanks!!

x0x me

Changing yourself for someone else is never a good idea. If your crush is into "rich snobs" don't become one yourself! Crushes come and go and you will find someone that likes you for who you are and how you present your beauty. If you were to change into what you see as "cool" you would be being fake. If you'd like to get noticed, though there are a few things you can do without changing yourself. Try a new hairstyle or buy some new clothes or jewelery. Wear lip gloss. Don't go overboard or people will think you're trying too hard because you would be. I hope I helped in some way and good luck.

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so my parents are driving me crazy. i know what your thinking. this is normal... right? well, this time it is really eating at me. they took all of my friends away except for three of them that are unrelated to any of the other ones. i really cant take it. theyve took away my best friend, and alot of others. i just hate it. i need someone to go to for help on this... and there just isnt anyone who would be able to sit and listen to me. i cant go to my parents, obviously. they wont cave in and say its ok for me to be with any of my friends, since they think theyre all a bad influence on me. please help.

Your parents can't take your friends away from you. Don't let them. It's your choice who your friends are. If they aren't letting you see your friends they are controlling you. Your parents should not control your life. It's yours not theirs. They probably messed up in their own lives and they're trying to live the "perfect" life through you. My parents did the exact same thing to me. I didn't really have any friends at all when I was growing up because of this. Don't let this happen to you. Stand up to your parents. You're going to have to eventually and it's best to do it sooner than later. You may get yelled at and criticized a lot by them, but this is something that you need to do for yourself. It's worth it. If you stand up to them and they start, or are already, physically or mentally abusing you, you need to talk to someone about it, like a counselor at your school. Good luck!

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I'm a wreck. I'm not going to hide it. I try to act like I'm over my ex boyfriend but I'm not. We had a long distance relationship. he seemed so perfect, hes different. At least i thought he was. Until I found out he had just been temporarily using me until someone better came along. Well someone better did come along and he had to break up with by saying "I'm sorry but I need physical affection. And I can't get it from you." Is he sugguesting that he broke up with me because I'm not a slut?! It also doesnt help that his girlfriend thinks were best friends. I need help, people say I should block him but I can't because he needs to know how I feel and I'm not sure I'm getting the message to him but I'm afraid to talk to him.

Sorry it was so long. :-(

-

Your ex isn't a bad person and doesn't just want sex from a relationship. If that were the case he wouldn't have entered into a long distance relationship with you at all. Long distance relationships are very hard and some people just can't do it. Your ex was upset because there was no way to make your relationship closer. He didn't see your relationship going anywhere because he couldn't be with you. He couldn't hold your hand or hang out with you. Sure he couldn't kiss you either, but that's not all of it You can only get so close to someone emotionally without being physical in some way with them. Being with the other person is an important part of a relationship. Your ex couldn't handle waiting around for you two to get together anymore. He couldn't see the relationship going anywhere. I've been in a long distance relationship before and I've experienced this first hand. It's an awful feeling. You just feel like you're drifting apart from the other person because you can't get any closer. However, it was pretty nasty of him to lie to his current girlfriend about you. Relationships should be based on complete honesty. He may have felt he had to lie because he's uncomfortable talking about you with his new girlfriend because he still has feelings for you. Don't be mad at him or think he's a bad person. Maybe if you two can get together or meet later in life that spark will still be there. I"m sorry that this happened to you. You should keep in touch with your ex though. You two can still be really great friends. Don't get your hopes up too much, but sometimes things just fix themselves. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that I was able to help you.

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this thursday my boyfriend picked me up from the dentist and went to his house we stayed their for a hour and went to my grandmas and he spent the night he left friday and came back saterday and left sunday i came home from my grandmas that day and now i feel so depressed i came home and started crying and i cant stop and i dont know why i hate living here and always have but i have never cryed about this before can you help figure out what wrong with me

Nothing is wrong with you. There must be something about home that you don't like that you didn't mention. If you're being abused (mentally or physically) you need to talk to someone like a counselor at school about it. If home makes you feel either trapped or unloved that's probably something you should talk to your parents or a close friend about. I'm sorry that I can't help you that much. Anything that you can add to your question would be very helpful and I'll try to give a better answer or feel free to inbox me anytime. I hope you feel better soon and good luck.

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My past relationship hurt me so bad, that all I want to do know is be cool with everyone. The only thing is a lot of boys want to go with me and I want to talk to them but everytime I think about the hurt that this last boy caused me that I don't want to go through it again. Can someone help me think of ways to get over it. Thank YOu

Don't date until you are ready. You know that not all guys are like the guy you dated last, but it can take a little time for your trust to build back up. If those guys that want to go out with you now really want to go out with you they will wait until you are ready. If they don't wait then they're not worth it. There's no reason to rush back into the dating world, give yourself a little break and don't worry, you'll be ready soon enough. Good luck!

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I have a great boyfriend and all. But I have this one problem, I can't seem to hold a good conversation with him.. What could I talk about.

thnx. =)

A great way to get started is to talk about how your day went. What you did, who you saw, how classes are going, etc. This will lead to other topics like, you saw so and so and you don't like her because....blah blah. By describing how your day went to him, it will bring up memories that you can tell him about. Memories of your day and memories from the past that are sparked by things that happened in your day. After you're done ask him how his day went and you two will soon be in the middle of a great conversation. You'll get the hang of it, it can be really hard at first. Good luck!

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