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Long, boyfriend with trust issues, please help!
I will rate 5's to any good answers, I need help really bad...please!
I have a boyfriend, Justin. We have been dating for three months today (on and off for about a year, with no communication for 4 months over the summer) and this is the longest we've ever gone out for. He's getting homeschooled until January (long story) and I can only see him during the weekends for the whole day on Saturdays. We both love each other very much. He was my first (I lost my virginity to him.)
Anyways, that's just a little background info. What's been bugging me lately, or rather, scaring me to death, is his attitude towards life. He wants to give up on everything and just end it all. THAT SCARES ME! He thinks he has mouth cancer (he chews and smokes) and his mom is a nurse so she said that yeah, it's probably cancer. He told me last night that he told himself if he ever got cancer he was going to put a bullet in his head. I remember him telling me this before. I made him swear not to do anything and he said okay but if it got any worse he was going to do it. And now when we get off the phone and he's depressed he will be like "baby, I love you so much, don't ever forget that" like that's the last time I will ever talk to him.
The other thing is, he has trust issues. He's admitted to me numerous times it's so hard for him not to get to see me and he doesn't want to end up cheating on me with someone else and hurt be because it's bound to happen because we don't see each other alot and he loooves physical interaction. That hurts me. He also said last night maybe we should break up because I was getting too scared about him commiting suicide and he didn't want me to worry about him. (But we didn't break up after all.) Anyways, since he is being home schooled till January, he claims he has been having people call him and tell him I am cheating on him. Which is not true. At all. He says he can't trust anyone after in 6th grade he got locked up and his girlfriend then did him wrong. I was wondering if you guys could think of any way I can get him to trust me more and be happier. It kills me to see him like this and to have him not trust me. I know he wants to, but he says there's something inside of him that tells him that I am. I can't break up with him, or take a break. I love him too much to do that. Oh, and the guy that someone said I was supposedly all over is calling him tonight to talk to him about it. Um...can anyone offer ANY help? I will rate high! Sorry this is so long!
-Christeena
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Okay, he THINKS he has cancer? He needs to get that checked out by a doctor immediately and started getting treated for it if it is cancer. It could get taken care of if caught in the early stages. It's not like he has recurring brain tumors. Tell him that there's no reason for him to commit suicide over something that can maybe be taken care of. Be there to support him emotionally and let him know that you care. Things may not work out between you two. Keep that in mind. He "got locked up" in sixth grade? Does this mean he went to jail? I don't know if this is the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. He's causing you a lot of stress that you shouldn't have to deal with. Don't stay with him just because you lost your virginity to him or to keep him from committing suicide. A relationship involves two people. Don't do it just for him. You need to do it for you too. I'm not saying break up with him because I don't know enough about the situation, but from what you've told me I think that this would be the best thing you can do. Since he's threatened suicide though, remaining friends would be a good idea. He still needs emotional support from someone to help him get through this. I hope everything works out for you and good luck!
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Hey hon, im sorry your in this situation, its really tough i no. the thing you have to do is support him support him support him allll the way. tell him that you don't think suicide is the answer, but make sure that your always there to comfort him and that you want him in your life forever. jsut be a positive thinker and everything in time will start getting better but tell him not to give up and you dont give up either please keep me posted and the best of luck to you
Christina
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