about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

Remember the question about the boy in the car wreck? That's my boyfriend. He was in a wreck two weeks ago today and is stuck on the couch watching tv all day because he's got a few cracked bones.He should be totally better in a month. Here's my question.

I dont want to sound selfish.

I do everything I can for him. I buy him Sonic and cigarettes every couple days. I bake him cookies and make him fudge. I bring him a PS2 and movies and games and my iPod. I spend hours sitting on his couch with him watching poker and Family Guy and Everybody Loves Raymond because he says he enjoys my company.

All I'm asking for is "I love you" or maybe a kiss or a hug or something that was his idea instead of mine, or maybe a phone call once in a while.

I didn't have this problem before his wreck. This leads me to believe that I'm just being extremely selfish.

I don't mean to be though. I just need to be reminded that I matter to him. That's all.

I feel forgotten about. He doesn't call, I have to. He doesn't say "I love you" first. I have to.

What should I do? If I talk to him, what should I say? I'll give you a 5 for a serious attempt.

What you should do is hold out for now, but after he gets better talk to him about it. He should be back to normal by then, and you bringing something like that up now will probably upset him even more. When you do talk about it, tell him how much it hurt you and how you want him to try not to do it again. If he hasn't stopped doing it, talking about it should encourage him to start acting normal again. He's so upset about his condition that he can't really focus on anything else. He really appreciates what you're doing and will come around eventually. You are being really great to him by the way. I'll bet he loves you even more than he did before. Good luck!

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I'm a decent singer, but there's this big problem I have. From the E in the middle of the staff on up, it's REALLY hard for me to sing ending consanants. I'm singing a song called "I Wish It So" and it's got this high G and the phrase is "in the shape of love or life" and I'm having difficulty singing "shape." I can sing the note very easily, but not with an ending consonant. Can anyone help me?

I don't know the song, but maybe you could play a little mind trick on yourself. If the song is fast, pretend that the lyrics go "in the shay pov love or life". If the song is slower, or you're slurring too much, it's a little harder, but try to pretend that the p in shape is the beginning of a new word. I have no idea if this will work for you, but it's worked for me in the past. I hope I helped and good luck!

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Is it normal to have the feeling like your going to pee during masturbation? even when my boyfriend fingers me i feel like i have to pee even if i pee before. Is this normal?

Yes, it may be something called female ejaculation that is causing this. Not all girls can do it, but what happens is a stream of liquid comes out, as if you were peeing, but it's not pee. Female ejaculation is supposed to feel really good. What you should do is after awhile, stop holding it in. Try it on your own first. If you want more information about it you can go to this website

http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm

There's a lot of information there that you don't need, but it's one of the only informational sites about this that isn't porn! There are better sites if you want to try your luck, but be careful.

I hope I helped!

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ok so here it goes.... me and my gf were hangin out in my room a couple weeks ago and we randomly decided to take a pic of her wit her top off and covering her nipples with her hands. i took it on my phone and had it for awhile. 2day when i got home from her house i had her call my aunt and left my phone in there. she comes in my room with the pic and yells at me for doing it and says thats y i dont trust u. she said she might tell her mom but that would ruin anything. i cant talk to my mom about it bc i never could and whenever i try she doesnt listen. wat should i do??

If anybody shouldn't trust anybody, you shouldn't trust her! She went through your phone! Maybe she even knew that it would still be there and she wanted to yell at you for it. She let you take the picture, so she shouldn't be complaining at all. Tell her if she had a problem with it she should have told you to delete it in the first place. This isn't an issue of trust, it's lack of communication. You didn't do anything wrong and she didn't do anything really that wrong either. What you should do is tell her how much you liked the picture and how pretty she is and everything. Then ask her if she wants you to delete it and delete it in front of her. Talk about it and tell her that you can't know exactly what she wants unless she tells you. Tell her to make sure she tells you what she wants so that misunderstandings and mistakes like this don't happen again. I hope everything gets straightened out and good luck!

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I was just wondering what the different between kissing and making out is. Where is the line drawn? What is considered making out and what isn't? Is it something that is determined by you mouth or you hands or. . . ? That's always confused me so somebody please help! Thanks.

I don't understand why so many people say that making out has to involve tongue. If you are with a person and you kiss them really passionately over and over for a long time, that sounds like a makeout session to me. Some people don't like tongue, but that doesn't mean that they never make out with anybody. If you kiss someone once and you use tongue, it's just a single kiss, not making out. Maybe I'm wrong, but to me, kissing is when you kiss somebody a few times then stop. Making out is when you kiss them constantly for an extended period of time. Anything else in the world can be involved, hugging, tongue, touching, but those are all completely separate terms for, maybe connected, but different things. I hope I helped!

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Like the topic stated I'd like to hear from woman what they would consider fun dates,
first dates and later on when you know the guy better.
I actually need a couple of date ideas, I live in a big-town/small-city and if a girl has been on more than 5 dates she would have seem everything around here.
Thanks in advance :)

I always have the best time when my boyfriend surprises me by going to a park or something. He'll bring a basketball or a soccer ball or something like that and play games with each other and have a completely amazing time. I know exactly what you mean, I'm from a small town. You could always go to the movies, or rent a few movies and snuggle, you can't go wrong with movies. If there's an indoor pool somewheres nearby (a YMCA or something) that would be cool too. I hope I helped and good luck!

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ok I know I always talk bout my bf in here but. I want to know is it scary when u first like make out with someone? Like I want o and stuff but it's scary

I would say it's more thrilling than scary. It's okay and very natural to be nervous, but don't be scared. It may feel a little awkward at first because it's new, but you'll feel better and better about it the more you do it. Don't worry about being bad, you'll do just fine! Good luck!

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kinda of very weird question ever asked---- seriously is there any way to judge whether a female had sex earlier in her part of life or not? jus by looking at her....? No offense...jus info

Unless you see a girl having sex, there is absolutely no way to know for sure if she did even if you ask her about it. People lie about this kind of stuff to protect their images. A girl that walks around like a total slut or a girl that wants to get a guy in trouble might tell you that she's not a virgin even though she really is. A shy girl that isn't a virgin, or a girl that regrets having had sex might tell you that she didn't. Two people can go into a room together and never do anything or they may exaggerate what happened and say that they went all the way when they really didn't. Girls can masturbate and because of that they won't be tight, like a virgin can be. So, this is one of those, "you have to see it to believe it" type things. Even girls that you really trust may not be completely honest to you about stuff like this. People have reputations and self images to keep up. The stuff about how a girl walks or whatever is just a joke. Hope I helped!

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So- I know that girls don't like back hair, however, i have hair on my chest, stomach, and shoulders. Do I have to get rid of all the hair of the torso? What do girls generally like?

Don't shave it. It takes a lot of time and it's not worth it. Believe me, I have to shave my legs every day. Body hair on guys is socially accepted. If a girl can't accept that you have hair, then she's not worth you time. She'll just keep finding more and more things that are wrong with you. Don't change yourself for a girl. If she likes you enough to go out with you, she likes you enough the way you are. Hair isn't gross, it's natural. Don't even talk to her about it unless she brings it up. It's your body and your decision. If she gives you a hard time about it she's being really silly. If she likes you, she likes you and you being a little hairy won't matter one bit. Who knows she might even like it. Lots of girls do. Guys shouldn't shave their hair off unless they are models and I personally think it looks pretty dumb even then. Good luck!

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ok..this is gonna sound "dorky"..but anywho...does anyone know any good country songs that are slow...rate high...thanks hunns!

"Amazed" by Lonestar
"Whiskey Lullabye" by Brad Paisley
"I Could Not Ask For More" by Sara Evans
"Breathe" by Faith Hill
"From This Moment On" by Shania Twain
"American Soldier" by Toby Keith

Hope I helped! Good luck with whatever you wanted that for.

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Ok so i asked a question a few weeks ago about doing something with a rose for Xmas for my girlfriend and i got alot of positive feedback about it.. you might of read it.. had to do with a glass rose? well if not i decided to change it up a bit, tell me how you(a girl) would feel if your boyfriend did something like this for Xmas::
Along with your other presents, brough over a vace we 11 roses in it, and one glass rose, making a dozen roses total. And put a card in there that says, "I will stop loving you when the last rose dies." (for all the not-so-smart girls out there, 'a glass rose wont ever die') Sooo how would you like it? yes? no? maybe?

I think I liked the first idea better. You don't want to go overboard with it. Think about how hard it would be to just bring in a vase and everything. Getting the glass rose to fit with the others in the vase and keeping it from breaking may prove difficult as well. The first idea was really cute and this idea is great too, but don't make it too hard on yourself! Plus, having them all separated, I thought was really really great, it built up the suspense hehe. Anyways, it's always your choice and whatever you decide to do she'll absolutely love it! Good luck even though you won't need it!

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Which of these boys should I ask to my winter formal? I go to an all girls school, so for the winter formal, all the girls have to ask the guys. Vote who you think I should ask:

guy 1: Pretty much my best guyfriend. Hang out with often. Am comfortable with. Nice, friendly, social, and a bit geeky. He's a dork. Mama's boy. Boy next door. Not a great dancer. Haha. Currently has a crush on me that I just found out about from my friend.

guy 2: Older than me by two grades. Friendly, but speaks really quietly. Has recently asked me out to see a show with him but I couldn't go. A bit boring to talk to on the phone. Sweet and laid back. Can actually dance. Never hang out with him in person.

guy 3: My personal crush. Asked him to formal last year and got turned down b/c he didn't know me that well. He now knows me better this year. Funniest guy I know. Always makes me laugh. Sweet and friendly and social. A nerd. But still social and outgoing. My friend thinks he has a crush on me because of the attention he gives me when I'm around. But I don't think so. He doesn't really like to dance. Smart. There's another girl who really likes him. I want to choke her. Well. Not really. Okay, yeah I do.

So give me feedback! WHICH ONE?

It's a bad idea to ask #1 because you may give him the wrong idea. You don't want complications in your friendship! It doesn't sound like you'd have that great of a time with #2 so I wouldn't go with him either. Ask your crush! You'll have an amazing time with him because you like him so much. You've got nothing to lose and if he says no you can always go with #2. Please, please, please, though, whatever you do don't go with #1! Even though you'd have a good time and you think it's funny that he likes you like he does, that's such a bad idea. After the dance you'll be asking us how to get rid of him without hurting your friendship! Well, whoever you go with I hope you have a really great time. Good luck!

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Is it possible to fall in love with someone if you're not attracted to them pysically?
I have feelings for an older man (he's 45 and I'm 26). He isn't very good looking, he is overweight and has grey hair.
He is really nice to me though and we get along and have a lot in common.
Most younger guys that are cute don't make me feel the way he does.
Should I go for him or just stay with guys that are closer to my age?

YES it's definitely possible and it's actually a really good thing. However, a little physical attraction is healthy in a relationship and such a large age difference has other problems involved with it. I think you should keep seeing this guy, things could potentially work out with him. Think about the effects his age will have on your social life, your children's lives if you decide to have them, and your own relationship with him. My advice to you is to keep your options open. Someone that you feel the same way about, that you are more physically attracted to, and is closer to your age could come along. I hope I was able to help and good luck!

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I met this guy, and I had a one night stand with him. I am 19 and he is 23. The problem is, I did not want to have sex at all. I just wanted to kiss, but he kept pressuring me to go further and further, and I eventually gave in to everything.

While we were having sex, it hurt so much. I was crying and telling him to stop but he kept going. I tried shoving him away but he didn't stop. I could have probably easily punched him in the face and made him stop, but for some reason, I didn't. I lied and told him it was hurting because I had been raped as a last attempt to get him to stop. He still didn't, and I eventually just sucked it up and let him finish.

Throughout the whole ordeal, he said some pretty mean things to me, the worse being that he had to pretend like the sex we just had was the best he'd ever experienced, just so he'd be able to finish himself off. And you know what I said? NOTHING. After I laid on the bathroom floor crying for awhile, I laid in bed with him, staring at the ceiling for 3 hours while he slept.

I do not have the slightest idea why I let him use me. I usually am smarter than this, love myself more than this, have more integrity than this. I am numb all over and wonder what the heck happened, how did I let it happen. Please, any insight would be appreciated.

You didn't let it happen. He forced you into doing something you did not want to do. You were raped and you need to go to a hospital as soon as possible to get a rape kit done. He needs to be arrested. Rape is a very serious crime. There was nothing you could have done about it and it's not your fault in the slightest way. I hope that everything is okay and that you feel better soon. Good luck!

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My friend is going to have this totally awsome party this saturday, and she invited me YAY! Anywho today i asked my mom if I could go and she said that she didn't know her parents so probably no! So she wants me to find out like everything about her family and where they live and she wants to call other people that she knows parents to see if they are a "nice family" she is making this a big deal and it's really stupid. I don't know wut to do! SOMEONE PLEAZ HELP ME!

Mom's will be moms. She just wants to make sure that you'll be safe because she cares about you. I know it seems mad silly, but it's something you just have to go along with. You'll get to go to the party and it'll be a lot easier if you help your mom out with whatever it is she wants to do or know. Good luck!

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okay so is it just me or do other people have this ?? like when you makeout wiht someone (like french kiss) its really really liquidy and slobby. its sick as crap. and with some people its not and others it is.. is it me that too spitty or them? or am i just weird? kthanks...


female by the way

Sounds like them and not you, some people just don't like french kissing and aren't very good at it. Others like a lot of slobber. You don't have to use tongue when you kiss! If someone is any of those things I just mentioned you can still kiss them regularly and get pleasure out of it. Know that you're not weird at all and good luck!

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I had this zit on my cheek, and popped it (sort of). It was one of those deep ones. It's really red now and there is still a bumb. Is there any way to make the red go away and the bump to go down?

Use an acne product on it and then leave it alone! It will go away soon enough. If you do too many things to it, it will get irritated and stay like that for even longer. Good luck!

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oh im confused... here it goes... I have a boyfriend which i like a lot.. he is really good boyfriend he trusts me and treats me really good. We go to other schools and i barely get to see him or talk to him....At my school dance i told him he didnt have to go because he wont know anyone....well at the dance kinda flirted by with of my good friends we didnt slow dance but he said he would of asked me just as friends though...Well now i kinda like the guy from my school because i see him everyday but i dont want to hurt my boyfriend. Should i still stay with my boyfriend and see what happens with this other guy?..or should break up my boyfriend and take the risk that the from my school likes me?... Another problem i have should stop flirting with guys while im going out with my boyfriend that goes to my other school?... i mean i try not to flirt but it was hard and boring..So should i take a risk and break up w/ my boyfriend or stay and keep it safe??
Sorry soo long
Thank you
5s for good answers

If you are happy with your boyfriend stay with him. You don't want to regret breaking up with him. Let the relationship run it's course and if it's not meant to be you'll break up anyways. Don't let being in a relationship stop you from flirting though! Flirting is a part of who you are, don't let a relationship change that. Don't let it go any farther than casual flirting, but by all means flirt girl! I flirt with other people all the time and my bf knows it means nothing. Whatever you do though, don't cheat on your bf. If you're going to cheat, you need to break up with him first. I hope I was able to help you in some way and good luck!

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Alright. Now I don't know how I got into this whole mess, but if you've answered my questions before, you know that I rate fives for any answers. Because I'm cool like that..

Anyways. Alright, I'm dating this guy, and we've been dating for 3 months now. I've also been dating this other guy for 1 month. The 1 month guy knew about the 3 month guy. I was going to try to break up with the 3 month guy, but I couldn't because I really care for him. The 1 month guy and I have wanted to go out for a year and a half, but couldn't until now because of age difference.

Now there is this other guy that likes me. He's all affectionate towards me, but the trouble is, I like it and want to return it. He knows that I have a boyfriend also...

AND if that isn't enough....there is this ABSOLUTLEY wonderful girl named "Katie" who we decided we want to go out. Now she knows about 1 month guy, 3 month guy, and the new guy...

What in the hell should I do..

and don't say "pick one".

They should all know about each other. You need to calm down and figure out who you want to be with. If you can't decide pick the person that you have the most fun with (I don't mean that in a sexual way). If you really really can't make a decision, take a break from the dating scene for awhile because cheating is never a good choice. I hope I was able to help a little, if not more. Good luck!

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The very first time my boyfriend and I said "I love you" to each other was about two weeks ago. He said it first. Now though, I always say it first. He never tells me he loves me unless I say it to him. So what's wrong? Does he regret saying it? Is he just shy? What can I do to make him say it first?

He's probably gotten used to you saying it first. The same thing happened to my bf and I. I loved him so much, but he always said it first. So once when he didn't I didn't even think about it. You don't have to think about it or say it for it to be there. If you stop saying it as a test, he may get upset and think that you don't love him. What you should do is talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. He probably doesn't even realize what's going on! I hope everything works out and good luck! :)

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