BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17104
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The closest college to me is 45 minutes away. I want to go there. There isn't housing, though (it's a 2-year school).
I think I'll end up driving there to class everyday. Is that a stupid decision, considering the cost of gas and spending over an hour driving to and from class? (link)
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If your decision is this or no college at all, then choose this. Not going to college is a stupid decision. Life is nothing but a bunch of locked doors and college gives you the keys to get inside. So do yourself a favor and go any way you can. You'll regret it later on if you decide not to.
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ok i have this friend and she's really fun to hangout with but when theres guys involved she ignores me and she did stuff with this guy she doesnt even like i mean is she desperate or something or what cause i dont like her when she's like that and she's been talking to this guy i like and i dont want her to start likeing him because i know she has a better chance then i do cause he's kinda popular and i'm so not she's really pretty and skinny and i'm fat and ugly and me and this guy have talked at school and now it's summer so i was gonna add him but i'm kinda afraid to becuase his freinds are really rude and i dont like any of his friend except one guy whom i had a crush on (link)
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Your life needs a makeover. There's 3 parts to your problem: your friend, the guy, and you. So I'm gonna break this into 3 parts to make it easier for you.
Your friend:
You need a new friend. Don't keep a friend who you think is a slut. If you really think that, then you're not her friend anyway. Friends respect each other and you don't respect her (she probably doesn't respect you either). You seem to be envious of her and think she's better than you. That's not good. You need a good friend who lifts you up and makes you feel good about life. That's what friends are for.
The guy:
Nice guys don't have rude guys for friends. If his friends are rude, then he's rude and you just don't know about it yet. This guy doesn't seem like the right guy for you either. Maybe he's popular, good looking, cool, etc. but there's more to life than that. Wouldn't you rather have a nice guy who kept good people for friends - people that treat others with respect, regardless of how they look? Don't sell yourself so short. Just because you're in high school doesn't mean you have to act like it.
You:
You need an attitude adjustment. You call yourself ugly and fat, which are horrible names. I'm sure you really think you are those things too (which makes it even sadder), but you need to change the way you view yourself. If you think so little of yourself, how can you expect anyone else to treat you differently? You need to learn to love yourself and develop some healthy self esteem. Start focusing on the positive things and learn to associate yourself with those qualities.
If there are some things you dislike about yourself, work on a constructive plan to change those things. Take action. Don't just sit back and feel sorry for yourself. Life does not guarantee you a group of friends and/or a prince charming, so you have to learn to love yourself enough to not have to depend on others. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it and YOU'RE worth it. If I were you, I'd work on ridding my life of the people who bring me down and replace them with people who lift me up.
The only way you can do that is to know how to lift yourself up first. So stop worrying about your friend and this guy and focus on yourself. It's time you made some changes - make some positive changes.
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OK, so this is gonna be long but i`m so sorry but bare with me PLEASE i need help...
so there is this girl, "g" and we became best friends ever since the begining of the year. we were both new and she was still attatched to her other two BESTBEST friends, "E" and "A", so we hung out allll the time! and we went to the mall, EVERYTHING together. however, toawrds the end of the school year, she began ditching US, me and my other best friend "M" for her OTHER friends. we fought and then made up and THEN, yesterday, there was this banquet thing and she went to her friend "A"'s house and didn`t come to the banquet. But that day, when we were like, so youre ditching us for HER and she was like yeah. and i was like ok then youre saying we shuldn`t be friends AT ALL anymore? and she was like yeah.
and we were all WTF.
but today was the last day of school, and we were ok-ish, not bffs.
in two days, i`m having this little get together and i invited her.
but yeah, i still want to be friends with her but shes not coming back to my school next year and shes going to surf camp with two of her friends this year E & A.
PLEASE HELP;
i still wanna hang with her over summer.
thanks (link)
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If I'm being completely honest, I have to say that I think your friendship with her is over. I could be wrong, but me being wrong is extremely rare. If I am wrong, your friendship is definitely in critical condition. The trouble the two of you are having is your jealousy and insecurity. You need to stop checking up on the status of your friendship. You should be having fun with your friends - NOT discussing who they like better, if your friendship is OK, or why they want to hang out with someone that isn't you.
It's understandable to get jealous when someone you care for is spending more time with someone else, but that's a part of life. You have to get used to it and get over it. Blowing it up out of proportion is the number one way to lose your friend (which you're finding out the hard way). My advice to you is to make some new friends and relax. Keep your friendships (and your life) as drama free as possible - have fun, laugh, be happy. If "G" sees that you've become more carefree, she may want to be your friend again. If not, you gotta move on.
There are people who will love you, who'll prefer hanging out with you over other people. You just gotta find them. Have patience because it isn't easy, but when you do find them the wait will have been worth it. In the meantime, if you want to save your friendship, the only thing you can do is stop letting things between you guys get so heavy. Lighten up! If she comes to your party and sees that you have lightened up, she'll be more inclined to talk to you. If she doesn't come, don't worry about it. Enjoy your party and enjoy the people who ARE there.
Either way, chill out. It's much easier to warm up to someone who isn't so hot-headed all the time.
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My profile got all messed up and i had to make a new. so here it is again.. And thank you for your answer i did read,(soundz like pink, i think thats who answered..)
Any way i was lucky i saved the question on my computer so it is the same.
I'm f/14.
I know this is really long, and probably confusing but please read it and it and try to answer! THANX!!
When I was little my biological father had to move to Kentucky.He never moved back. My mom was about 18. Well he was out of the picture for a while.Then theres the guy we lived with and he was ALWAYS called DAD!(His name is Charley) Then theres Mike my dad for 7yrs. (He was my bioloical father until i was 7.) Then there's Brad a guy who passed away, who i thought was just my mom's friend until today (6/12).then theres the current step-dad for the past 4-5yrs. Who is living with us, his name is Josh.
Your probably thinking 2 things!
1)What does this have to do with her life now?
&
2)Her mom is a whore.
Ok well this is affecting my life because:
my dad (not my real one the one i call dad) is moving, and always says something smart about my mom and her current b/f. (Current b/f was a druggie.)
Well he doesn't mean to hurt me but it does.
Then my real dad came into my life when i was 7, then left for 1-2yrs. Then came back around for 1-2 more yrs. then left. No surprise there. Well he called my cousin a couple a monthz ago and asked about me and for my number. Well he didn't call me, so my mom is going to search for his #, so i can call him and get his address, i wrote him a 2 1/2 page letter and a poem to send him.
Everyday it seems like my life gets harder, and i cry harder every other night thinking about it.
well when i lived with my "dad" life ALWAYS seemed so great and fun.Well we stopped seeing my moms friend Brad, I didn't see why but it didnt bug me then, well my mom told me later on because i asked her about Brad and she told me she stopped visiting him because my dad thought they were having an affair. I didn't think they were.so when Brad died me and my mom were upset because we could have been vising him before he died but my dad didnt want us to go. I hated him for awhile because of that.Today I was looking for my 1st letter that i had ever recieved from mr real dad, and instead i found for cards from Brad! They were addressed to my mom! i thought maybe they were from my real dad so i went ahead and read them, they were all like i wish you were here in my arms and i miss you and michelle (me), love always Brad!
It really hurts to know all of this. And i miss my life with my dad. Before Josh (moms current b/f.) everything was almost always great. Then josh comes my mom gets grouchier,madder, and cries a lot. But says she loves him but it hurts me REALLY BAD! And i don't know what to do any more.
What should do to cope with everything?
If you have any questions ask me!
I know this is really confusing and long but i really need help! Should i get a therapist?
Any advice is great right now.
Thanks in advance!
(link)
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If you feel like you need or would like to talk to a therapist (or possibly your school counselor), please do. Counseling is extremely helpful and it sounds like you could benefit from having a positive influence to talk to on a regular basis. Your mom could definitely use some counseling as well. There's a reason she goes from guy to guy (though it's nothing you need to worry yourself with right now).
I've also known girls who do that, and to be apart of their lives can be quite painful. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves, and it's even harder to feel like your love isn't good enough for them because they feel they're missing something - the love of a man. What she needs is to love herself. Unfortunately, you can't make your mom love herself, but what you can do is to make sure you love yourself enough not to follow in her footsteps.
I say this with absolute sincerity - you seem like a really bright, sweet girl who's very observant of her surroundings. Sadly, it's usually the people who come from dysfunctional homes that are the ones who have the most to offer. Your mother's sad story doesn't have to be your sad story. I know that you love her a lot - it's quite obvious - but there comes a time when you have to begin to look out for your own well being, because there aren't many people in this world who will.
I would suggest opening up to your mom - telling her exactly what you told us. Go to her and make her see your pain and make her see that you want a change. I can't guarantee that she'll give it to you, but I can tell you that there comes a freedom with trying one last time. If she can't be responsible enough to change, you can be responsible enough to understand what it is you have to do. And what you have to do is learn to use your strong qualities to take care of yourself.
You seem like the kind of girl with a big heart who loves helping people. Get involved in school activities that gets you around other people your age. I'm sure there are lots of peer groups (maybe your school even has group counseling) that you could join. If you talk to your school counselor and tell him or her that you're interested in meeting with other kids in similar situations, I bet they could make that happen and you could make lots of friends who'd understand where you're coming from.
Whatever your passions are - music, acting, dancing, writing, sports, etc. - get involved in those. Building a new support system can make a world of difference. None of us can choose our parents, but we can choose our influences and our friends. Choose to be around people who lift you up and inspire you. You're strong, intelligent, kind, etc. Use all of those traits to your advantage. You may be upset now, but you don't have to be upset tomorrow. Change your future NOW.
Please email me and/or keep in touch if you need any help or someone to listen. There are tons of nice people out there who can make a world of difference in your life. I know from experience. So please keep looking up. Things will get better because YOU are going to make them better. Good luck. :)
PS: You're welcome and I think you're SO sweet. :D
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whats a hand job? im sooooo confuseddd! help?! (link)
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A hand job is where you stroke a male's penis until he has an orgasm. It's just like when he masturbates, but instead of using his hand to get off he uses yours. If you don't know what one is, I would highly suggest not giving one. You're definitely not ready for it and you may not be good at it. It could scar you psychologically, and getting a boy off isn't worth it.
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13/f
Okay dont tell me im to yung for love because i really lik this guy there he used to live 2 houses down from me and moved in with his dad i mean we've had our ups and downs lik we were playin basket ball once and i said he cheated and he said shut up u f-in slut tht made so so mad and sad at da same time but every time we were on the bus he asks me to hug em and when he come to my house for my bro and leaves ill go outside and sit he jus smiles at me lik a mean wit a twinkle in his eye :D thn leaves
does this sound lik he likes me im pretty sure it does or is he jus bein nice because im his friends sis...and how do i get ova him cbecause he moved PLZ help srry it kinda long ♥ Lesha (link)
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You're not too yung, but you are too young (and immature) to be in love. Put down the basketball and stop playing games with someone who calls you a slut and pick up a school book and study.
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ok well this guy constantly flirts with me. does he like me? (link)
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No. Guys flirt. It's what they do. Don't be fooled into thinking that a guy likes you just because of what he says. His actions are a far more important indicator of how he feels. If he flirts with you and every other girl (which if I were you I would assume he does), it just means he likes girls, and he's hoping to increase his chance of getting a girl by flirting with more of them.
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i always have these couple of friends that are just basically.. fun suckers. like when i act like myself.. im not a pushover but im nice, and i hate when people try to take advantage of that.. like they'd just act in a way that wouldn't make me feel good. like they'd act like i wasnt worthy or something. like at lunch occasionally i'd ask for fries and like nobody gives me not even one except for one of my friends.. when 2 of the girls at that table always takes my fries at the end of the period without me even letting her do that! the girl who sits next to me she always gives that girl from before and another girl fries.. even when they have their own lunches.. and when i forgot my lunch she didnt give me any. i dont get it.. i mean im thinking that they just arent my friends.. cause the girl who'd give me fries also sometimes wasnt the ideal friend i'd want.. cause she'd just be in these mood swings and stuff sometimes and that really pisses me off because its not as much fun.. when i have problems i dont act all grumpy for a day.. and i hate when people do that! and like those 'friends' i see them alot.. and the year is over next thursday so its not that easy to make new friends. any advice? because then i forgot one of my friend's instrument that she played. i just really thought it was flute and forgot that it was the trumpet. and she was mad at me for like the rest of the day.. except for math when we were all in a group.. and im like "hello? you were just mad at me before and you didnt even apologize or anything" that happens sometimes.. like first we get in a small fight and then later they totally forget about it when i dont. then it starts again.. like that girl cause i've known her for 2 years now like considers me her friend but she doesnt act like it all the time. i hate when friends keep secrets from each other.. its stupid. sometimes i ask what happens if i dont know.. like something happened to this guy and he got suspended at school and she knew what happened but wouldnt tell me.. she told some other girl she said she doesnt like but she hangs around her alot. should i just act like i dont like them when i do like being around them occasionally? or am i just too nice that i wont do that.. also what if they dont want to be my friends back? i mean i have other friends but i dont see them during school often. ive even talked to that girl how i feel that she isnt very supportive at times.. she has alot of bad days.. and shes not the only one with problems but you dont see me all grumpy and stuff on some days.
UGH. and in home ec im only in one group because one of the girls there is my friend, and another is okay, and another girl just acts sooo fake like shes trying to be all preppy and popular when she isnt, and the other is bossy at times and you arent sure if she likes you or not. i hate friends like that but.. are these really my friends? they're just my cooking group.. and i hate being bossed around and stuff but sometimes i dont have comebacks and stuff.. so yeah. i dont hold grudges but i also dont forget things people have done in the past and it just always stays in my mind.
HELP PLEASE for like everything!
are these really my friends & what else can i do to help myself? (link)
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Here's the bad news:
I think you're probably too nice and overly sensitive. If a friend not letting you have french fries is bothering you that much, you need to A) get some friends who better suit your personality (aka ones who aren't so selfish), B) take your own lunch to school, and C) get a life that has bigger problems in it, because this isn't worth being so stressed out about.
Here's the good news:
I bet a nice girl like you can make a ton of nice friends, especially when you get to college, where everyone is a lot more mature. Still, you can make friends in high school without compromising who you are. Just because you like these girls (even if they like you too) doesn't mean you have to be friends with them. Focus on hanging out with people who make you feel good about yourself - people who are thoughtful, lift you up, and make you smile.
Lastly, I think somewhere hidden deep within your kitten exterior is a lioness dying to get out. Let her out more often - stand up for yourself. It may not come out perfect, but once you practice being more assertive, you'll catch on quickly. Remember, life doesn't guarantee that anyone else is going to look out after you. You have to be able to look after yourself. So be strong, force yourself to be confident (fake it until you make it), and stick up for yourself. You'll be glad that you did.
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I wasn't very social during the school year,so I'm trying to work my way back into.I REALLY want to get with people,but I just don't know what to do in a social situation anymore.I'm worried that if it's one on one we'll just be sitting in awkward silence like idiots,and if it's with a group I'll be the weird quiet kid dragging along in the back.I just want to know how to keep things moving and how to prevent dull moments.Basically,I just want to know what to do when I hang out with people. (link)
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Hang out with people who share your interests. That'll inspire you to add to the conversation and share your opinions with them. If you like reading, join a book club. If you like sports, join a team. If you like music, consider getting a job at a music store. If you like movies, think about working at a cinema. If you like animals, volunteer at your local animal shelter. And so on...
There's numerous ways to get to be near people who share your interests. It may take you some time to start interacting socially, but that's OK. You haven't been very social lately and getting back into the scene isn't going to be an overnight transition. It's gonna take some time and patience, but you can definitely do it. More than likely, nobody knows you're not confident, so just fake it.
You need to change the way you think about how people are interpreting you. Unless you know for a fact, you shouldn't assume they're thinking of you badly. And even if they do think of you badly, so what? Who cares? There'll be tons of other people who think you're cool. Finally, just because you don't talk a lot doesn't mean you're weird or quiet. Some people would interpret that as you listening, which is a good quality in a friend. :)
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I took the morning after pill a couple hours after having sex. The condom was not suppossed to break. How could this happen to me. I really hope that it works I am to young to be pregant. Do you think that the pill will work. (link)
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If I were you, I would visit a doctor immediately. It's not at all uncommon for condoms to break. Each time you have sex you're taking a huge risk. Make sure the person you're with is worth the risk. Very few guys are worth it.
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Is a 13-14 year olds sperm as effective as a 18+ sperm?
Or is one weaker than the other? (link)
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Sperm is sperm.
Any male who can achieve an erection can make a baby just as easily as an 18 year old guy or a 35 year old man. Make any male you sleep with wear a condom. You're putting yourself as risk if you don't. Also, they make condoms for females. They're more complicated, but not as complicated as being pregnant for 9 months and raising a human being for 18 years. Be smart and be safe.
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Do blood tests hurt more or less or the same as vaccines? Because i had 5 vaccines last month..and they didn't hurt that much...and i have to get a blood test soon...and people say blood tests hurt less than vaccines. Is that true? because vaccines don't hurt all that much.. (link)
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I've had a lot of both, and I can tell you that vaccines will almost always cause more pain than getting a blood test. When you get a vaccine shot, you're getting something put inside you and that can sometimes cause irritation and bruising. When you get blood drawn, you're getting something taken out of you, and while it may cause bruising as well, the bruises should be insignificant if the person who administers the shot knows what he or she is doing.
Also, the needles that are used to get blood drawn are finer and go in with more ease. The only trouble you may run into is if the person who gives you the shot is incompetent and can't find the vein to stick the needle into. If this is the case, the needle may have to stay inside longer, which will cause some pain. However, this is somewhat of an uncommon problem that happens to only the luckiest of people like me. You really don't have anything to worry about.
Good luck!
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Me and my ex dated for a month and like 6 days and then he broke up with me. I made mistakes that pushed him away but I truly love him soo much and havent cryed so much in my lifetime. I need him and he hates me now and wont even talk to me and I cant stand it. Its killing me. I dont know what to do. I need him to talk to me and be part of my life. I cant move on I love him and it sucks
Please help me Im sick of crying (link)
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I think you need to talk to a professional. Do you have a school counselor you can speak with who can help you get through this? That would be the best thing you can do. I get the impression that there's more to this story than any of us are getting. If you and your ex been dating for about a month, it's impossible for you to be in love with him.
I know you don't want to hear this, but it's for your own good. If you want to stop hurting, you need to take a look at the truth, not at your feelings. Sometimes our feelings can be overwhelmingly deceiving and leave us believing that what we feel is the truth, when it isn't. If you want to get better, you have to be honest with yourself.
Your life seems too complicated at the moment to add to it the stress of a relationship. Try hard to see this as a positive thing - a chance to correct your mistakes. You mentioned making mistakes that pushed him away. What mistakes could you have made in such an extremely short amount of time? This is a sign that your life is overly problematic.
Go talk to a professional who can help set you on the right path. Don't let your emotions control you. You control them. If the idea of getting help seems unnecessary, that's another sign that it's exactly what you need. We often do the exact opposite of what's good for us. And that's not just you, that's pretty much everyone. You'll get through this.
I hope this helps. If you need more help, feel free to ask.
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ok well theres this guy steve who has gone to my school for a few years. but i'd never even seen him or noticed him before, because he was hardly ever there (he has cystic fibrosis so he spends a lot of time in the hospital). anyway, this year he started talking to me on myspace and texting me all the time. but he's really shy in person, and when i see him at school he wont even look at me. he invited me to his bday party (i was the only girl there) and he barely looked at me the whole time. but afterwards he texted me and said how beautiful i looked, and if i was single he'd ask me out. (btw i have a bf that ive been going out with for 2 years). then he asked me if i would ever go out with him if my bf and i broke up. i told him i like him as a friend, but that i dont really know him that well. but really, i dont think i'd ever like him as a boyfriend. anyway, now he keeps asking me to go on bike rides with him, and i keep making excuses why i cant go. i kinda want to, cuz i do like him as a friend. but i dont know if it would be wrong to go somewhere with another guy while i have a bf. plus it might make him think i like him. so my questions are: (1) should i go on a bike ride with him, or would that be wrong? (2) how can i tell him that ill only ever like him as a friend, without hurting his feelings? (link)
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This situation is quite complicated, so you have my sympathies. I'm going to do my best to get you through it with as little trouble as possible.
If you truly like this guy as a friend, I think you should go with him on the bike ride. Treat him as you would any friend of yours, but make sure that he's aware that he is only JUST a friend. This may hurt him, but it will hurt even more if you avoid him and stop being his friend entirely. Because of his illness, he's probably used to many people doing just that. I advise you to be the better person and not be one of those people. You seem really nice, so I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
If your friend continues to have a crush on you, as long as it's harmless, that's not something I would do anything about. Just enjoy it and be flattered. If it's something that bothers you, be firm and tell him how you feel. Tell him that it has to stop or you can't be his friend. Again, this may hurt him, but telling him how you feel allows him the chance to change and keep his friendship with you. Isn't that more kind than keeping your feelings bottled up and ignoring him hoping it'll go away?
If your friend can keep his crush on you in check, I wouldn't worry about your boyfriend being jealous. He may be a little jealous at first, which is normal when your significant other has a friend of the opposite sex, but that's something he's going to have to get over. As long as you're treating this guy as just a friend, your boyfriend has no right to be jealous. You just need to reassure everyone where they stand and what parts they play in your life. Once you're more secure with where everyone stands, everything will eventually fall into place.
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me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year. we're both 17 by the way. at the begining of the year we had a rough patch in the relationship but everything's fine now. anyways about 6 months ago i started giving him hand jobs and i've been fine with that. now we talked about me giving him a blow job which when we talk about it i'm fine with it, even a little excited, and we'll plan when we can get together but when we actually get together and we're alone, i chicken out and find some excuse to why i won't do it when there really isn't any good excuse. then the minute i leave him i regret it. i want to do this i really do and not just because he's asking for it. im not the type of girl that stands by my guy's side and does what he wants. so why can't i get over this anxiety of giving a blow job? (link)
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Just because you want to do it doesn't mean you're ready. I've been there before and so have a lot of girls. We have hormones too, and though girls rarely speak about it as often as boys, we get just as horny as they do. So why can't you go through with it? Probably the same reason I can't go through with the 6 guy gang bang I've been wanting to have since I was 11! I've never worked up the nerve to do it, and I probably never will - I've made peace with that.
That doesn't mean you won't ever give your boyfriend a blowjob. It just means you're not ready. When the time is right, it'll happen. There will always be anxiety when doing anything for the first time, but you'll push through it and get the job done (pun SO intended). I don't think I have to tell you this, but I will anyway...Just because your boyfriend WANTS a blowjob doesn't mean you have to give him one. Between porn and the internet, it seems like everyone's doing it, but trust me, everyone's not. You can ALWAYS say no.
Again, I know you know, but I'm just throwing that out there. If you need anymore advice about anything, please feel free to ask me another question. I'll do my best to help.
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k so i really would like to know which diet pills work the best. i dont want people who havent taken them answer my question and just say trimspa because thats all they know. i want people with experience who have taken different kinds and the pros cons and side effects (link)
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Diet pills don't work at all. None of them work. In fact, a good majority of them are (very) dangerous. Most of them are stimulants that try to do what your body would naturally, but speed up the process to an unhealthy level just to get you to buy them. For instance, some diet pills advertise that they'll give you a boost of energy, but it also causes your heart to speed up or beat irregularly, which can cause heart attacks or strokes. Furthermore, diet pills can cause eating disorders, insomnia, anxiety, depression, weight gain, etc. I know this probably wasn't the answer you were hoping for, but I hope you'll listen to my advice - it could save your life.
If you would like some tips on how you can lose weight naturally, I can help you more with that. Feel free to ask me another question.
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I'm f/14.
I know this is really long, and probably confusing but please read it and it and try to answer! THANX!!
When I was little my biological father had to move to Kentucky.He never moved back. My mom was about 18. Well he was out of the picture for a while.Then theres the guy we lived with and he was ALWAYS called DAD!(His name is Charley) Then theres Mike my dad for 7yrs. (He was my bioloical father until i was 7.) Then there's Brad a guy who passed away, who i thought was just my mom's friend until today (6/12).then theres the current step-dad for the past 4-5yrs. Who is living with us, his name is Josh.
Your probably thinking 2 things!
1)What does this have to do with her life now?
&
2)Her mom is a whore.
Ok well this is affecting my life because:
my dad (not my real one the one i call dad) is moving, and always says something smart about my mom and her current b/f. (Current b/f was a druggie.)
Well he doesn't mean to hurt me but it does.
Then my real dad came into my life when i was 7, then left for 1-2yrs. Then came back around for 1-2 more yrs. then left. No surprise there. Well he called my cousin a couple a monthz ago and asked about me and for my number. Well he didn't call me, so my mom is going to search for his #, so i can call him and get his address, i wrote him a 2 1/2 page letter and a poem to send him.
Everyday it seems like my life gets harder, and i cry harder every other night thinking about it.
well when i lived with my "dad" life ALWAYS seemed so great and fun.Well we stopped seeing my moms friend Brad, I didn't see why but it didnt bug me then, well my mom told me later on because i asked her about Brad and she told me she stopped visiting him because my dad thought they were having an affair. I didn't think they were.so when Brad died me and my mom were upset because we could have been vising him before he died but my dad didnt want us to go. I hated him for awhile because of that.Today I was looking for my 1st letter that i had ever recieved from mr real dad, and instead i found for cards from Brad! They were addressed to my mom! i thought maybe they were from my real dad so i went ahead and read them, they were all like i wish you were here in my arms and i miss you and michelle (me), love always Brad!
It really hurts to know all of this. And i miss my life with my dad. Before Josh (moms current b/f.) everything was almost always great. Then josh comes my mom gets grouchier,madder, and cries a lot. But says she loves him but it hurts me REALLY BAD! And i don't know what to do any more.
What should do to cope with everything?
If you have any questions ask me!
I know this is really confusing and long but i really need help! Should i get a therapist?
Any advice is great right now.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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If you feel like you need or would like to talk to a therapist (or possibly your school counselor), please do. Counseling is extremely helpful and it sounds like you could benefit from having a positive influence to talk to on a regular basis. Your mom could definitely use some counseling as well. There's a reason she goes from guy to guy (though it's nothing you need to worry yourself with right now).
I've also known girls who do that, and to be apart of their lives can be quite painful. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves, and it's even harder to feel like your love isn't good enough for them because they feel they're missing something - the love of a man. What she needs is to love herself. Unfortunately, you can't make your mom love herself, but what you can do is to make sure you love yourself enough not to follow in her footsteps.
I say this with absolute sincerity - you seem like a really bright, sweet girl who's very observant of her surroundings. Sadly, it's usually the people who come from dysfunctional homes that are the ones who have the most to offer. Your mother's sad story doesn't have to be your sad story. I know that you love her a lot - it's quite obvious - but there comes a time when you have to begin to look out for your own well being, because there aren't many people in this world who will.
I would suggest opening up to your mom - telling her exactly what you told us. Go to her and make her see your pain and make her see that you want a change. I can't guarantee that she'll give it to you, but I can tell you that there comes a freedom with trying one last time. If she can't be responsible enough to change, you can be responsible enough to understand what it is you have to do. And what you have to do is learn to use your strong qualities to take care of yourself.
You seem like the kind of girl with a big heart who loves helping people. Get involved in school activities that gets you around other people your age. I'm sure there are lots of peer groups (maybe your school even has group counseling) that you could join. If you talk to your school counselor and tell him or her that you're interested in meeting with other kids in similar situations, I bet they could make that happen and you could make lots of friends who'd understand where you're coming from.
Whatever your passions are - music, acting, dancing, writing, sports, etc. - get involved in those. Building a new support system can make a world of difference. None of us can choose our parents, but we can choose our influences and our friends. Choose to be around people who lift you up and inspire you. You're strong, intelligent, kind, etc. Use all of those traits to your advantage. You may be upset now, but you don't have to be upset tomorrow. Change your future NOW.
Please email me and/or keep in touch if you need any help or someone to listen. There are tons of nice people out there who can make a world of difference in your life. I know from experience. So please keep looking up. Things will get better because YOU are going to make them better. Good luck. :)
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situation:
i was at this party last friday and i ended up making out with this guy who's infamous for hooking up with a lot of girls. my 'friends', L, A, and S, were the ones who made me do it. they said "come on its your first make out and you should do it". without a defense, i did. the next week at school, they told everyone who would hear. they told my prude friends (who i didn't want knowing because they'd be ashamed of me), my best gay guy friends (who i didn't want knowing because they'd make fun of me), and basically everyone else (because they'd judge me).
problem:
what the heck do i do?!?!
do i stick up for myself?
do i make a joke of it?
do i apologize to my friends who are ashamed of me?
i regret it and i'm mad at L, A, and S.
(link)
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The damage is done, but luckily for you there's a lot of positive that will come out of this situation if you look at it the right way and handle it maturely.
First of all, L, A, and S need to get L.O.S.T. These girls are not your friends. They're telling you what to do (kissing the guy), setting you up (telling everyone what you did), and are trying to mess with your life. That's not cool. You're much better off without these girls. That's a MUCH better lesson to learn NOW rather than in 10 years when you've established a life for yourself and they try to mess with that. Be happy that they're gone.
Second of all, if your prude and gay friends are so judgmental that they've stopped being your friend because you kissed some boy, then they're not your friends either AND they're extremely immature and need to grow up. It sounds like you need a whole new batch of friends; however, you need to learn to be your own friend first. Stop letting people tell you what to do (like the girls telling you to kiss the boy). Stop being a doormat (Do NOT apologize to anyone because of this - YOU did nothing wrong)!
Finally, the people in your life are the ones who need to grow up, so instead of feeling bad for yourself, you should feel bad for them because you're probably a lot more mature than they are and they have a lot to learn. So let it go and act like it doesn't phase you. It might for a while, but that will pass. You'll find new friends who won't judge you, won't manipulate you, and won't try to sabotage you. People only judge you when you're the center of attention. Enjoy the spotlight and let them all be jealous.
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Today was my first day driving to work (I'm 16)..and I parked in an underground garage..when I was ready to go, I was backing out, but it was so dark, I didn't see the pole! I backed into the pole..I haven't had my license for more than 6 months! The dent it left is the size of a pole vertically going about 2 or 3 feet until my license plate (I have an mini SUV)..My mom is so mad and my dad doesn't know yet and my mom says not to tell him. Can you please help me estimate the cost to repair this dent? We are so poor right now, I'm so scared. :( (link)
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I'm so sorry that you're scared, but I have to disagree with your mom - lying isn't worth it at all. I know your dad might get angry, but everyone has accidents and surely he can sympathize. The way you explained your problem to us - if you explain it the same way to your father - I can't imagine him staying angry at you for long. I don't know anything about cars or repairs other than knowing that it can be expensive. My advice is to confess and tell the truth. Possibly getting away with a lie isn't worth the guilt and fear you're inevitably going to feel about your father finding out what you did.
PS: Please email me and tell me more. The link is on my profile.
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19 F - Okay, so my best mate lives really far away (like 2 day drive) and I rarely see him. We usually write e-mail's every day and hardly ever break contact. Well the past couple of weeks we've been a bit slack. He has exams at university and I'm doing a course while also working. so i didn't hear from him and he didn't hear from me in a couple of weeks. 3 days ago he said that his mum is in hospital with heart problems and that he has big exams coming up and that he cant study cause he's looking after his little brother and sister while trying to find a new place to rent as their lease is up soon. he seemed really stressed and i've written him several e-mails since then but he hasn't replied. i dont know what to do! how do i reach him? am i right for worrying or do you think i'm being silly? (link)
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Let me start off by saying that you seem like a fantastic friend and that you and your friend have my condolences. I think anyone who's ever had a friend they cared about would absolutely agree that you have every right to worry. So don't think you're being silly at all.
It's very difficult to be friends with someone who lives far away. You can love them just as much as if they were nearby, but you can't comfort them in the same way. At times the distance can be quite painful and the longing to be close to your friend can be overwhelming.
I would suggest that you continue to support him - call, email, text, visit whenever you can. At the moment, he may not be able to reciprocate, but when things calm down and get a little less hectic for him, he'll definitely remember and be thankful for all the support you gave him.
Hopefully his mother's health improves as well as his current situation. When the time comes, I would also suggest that you and he have a conversation and discuss making your friendship more of a priority - more conversations, more frequent get togethers, etc.
Sometimes to make a long distance relationship work - even if it's just a friendship - you have to schedule spending more time together. In the end though, it truly doesn't matter how far away your friend lives. As long as he continues to live in your heart, then he will be with you forever.
I sincerely hope this helps - please keep me updated. :)
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