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my mom & her 5 b/f's
My profile got all messed up and i had to make a new. so here it is again.. And thank you for your answer i did read,(soundz like pink, i think thats who answered..)
Any way i was lucky i saved the question on my computer so it is the same.
I'm f/14.
I know this is really long, and probably confusing but please read it and it and try to answer! THANX!!
When I was little my biological father had to move to Kentucky.He never moved back. My mom was about 18. Well he was out of the picture for a while.Then theres the guy we lived with and he was ALWAYS called DAD!(His name is Charley) Then theres Mike my dad for 7yrs. (He was my bioloical father until i was 7.) Then there's Brad a guy who passed away, who i thought was just my mom's friend until today (6/12).then theres the current step-dad for the past 4-5yrs. Who is living with us, his name is Josh.
Your probably thinking 2 things!
1)What does this have to do with her life now?
&
2)Her mom is a whore.
Ok well this is affecting my life because:
my dad (not my real one the one i call dad) is moving, and always says something smart about my mom and her current b/f. (Current b/f was a druggie.)
Well he doesn't mean to hurt me but it does.
Then my real dad came into my life when i was 7, then left for 1-2yrs. Then came back around for 1-2 more yrs. then left. No surprise there. Well he called my cousin a couple a monthz ago and asked about me and for my number. Well he didn't call me, so my mom is going to search for his #, so i can call him and get his address, i wrote him a 2 1/2 page letter and a poem to send him.
Everyday it seems like my life gets harder, and i cry harder every other night thinking about it.
well when i lived with my "dad" life ALWAYS seemed so great and fun.Well we stopped seeing my moms friend Brad, I didn't see why but it didnt bug me then, well my mom told me later on because i asked her about Brad and she told me she stopped visiting him because my dad thought they were having an affair. I didn't think they were.so when Brad died me and my mom were upset because we could have been vising him before he died but my dad didnt want us to go. I hated him for awhile because of that.Today I was looking for my 1st letter that i had ever recieved from mr real dad, and instead i found for cards from Brad! They were addressed to my mom! i thought maybe they were from my real dad so i went ahead and read them, they were all like i wish you were here in my arms and i miss you and michelle (me), love always Brad!
It really hurts to know all of this. And i miss my life with my dad. Before Josh (moms current b/f.) everything was almost always great. Then josh comes my mom gets grouchier,madder, and cries a lot. But says she loves him but it hurts me REALLY BAD! And i don't know what to do any more.
What should do to cope with everything?
If you have any questions ask me!
I know this is really confusing and long but i really need help! Should i get a therapist?
Any advice is great right now.
Thanks in advance!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Talk to your mom, tell her what she is doing to you. She's your mom, and she loves you & once she finds out what her relationship with Josh is doing to your life, then I'm sure she will come to your rescue. If she doesnt then ask her if you could go to a friends house when Josh is there. If she doesnt respond to any of this get a family councilor, this way both you and your mom can see a therapist and maybe the therapist can help even more. Best of luck, and all our hearts go out to you! :)
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o wow im reqlly osrry about evrything.
i think you should really get a therapist. i really dont know what i can do to help. iw ant to but all i can say is that i think you should get a therapist. a therapist would help alott. i had one once and it helped me. i overcame my problem. i feel so much better now.
what helps me deal with things is music. i listen to it everytime i feel sad or mad. it calms me down its a huge part of my life. maybe that would help you deal wih things.
also a good friend. if you feel liek you dont have any i will be happy to listen and talk to you. we all need friends to help us deal with things. also, try talking to your mom. communication is really important. tell her how you feel tell her whats bothering you. maybe shell understand and try to work somethng out that fits both of you guys. i really wish you good luck!
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If you feel like you need or would like to talk to a therapist (or possibly your school counselor), please do. Counseling is extremely helpful and it sounds like you could benefit from having a positive influence to talk to on a regular basis. Your mom could definitely use some counseling as well. There's a reason she goes from guy to guy (though it's nothing you need to worry yourself with right now).
I've also known girls who do that, and to be apart of their lives can be quite painful. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves, and it's even harder to feel like your love isn't good enough for them because they feel they're missing something - the love of a man. What she needs is to love herself. Unfortunately, you can't make your mom love herself, but what you can do is to make sure you love yourself enough not to follow in her footsteps.
I say this with absolute sincerity - you seem like a really bright, sweet girl who's very observant of her surroundings. Sadly, it's usually the people who come from dysfunctional homes that are the ones who have the most to offer. Your mother's sad story doesn't have to be your sad story. I know that you love her a lot - it's quite obvious - but there comes a time when you have to begin to look out for your own well being, because there aren't many people in this world who will.
I would suggest opening up to your mom - telling her exactly what you told us. Go to her and make her see your pain and make her see that you want a change. I can't guarantee that she'll give it to you, but I can tell you that there comes a freedom with trying one last time. If she can't be responsible enough to change, you can be responsible enough to understand what it is you have to do. And what you have to do is learn to use your strong qualities to take care of yourself.
You seem like the kind of girl with a big heart who loves helping people. Get involved in school activities that gets you around other people your age. I'm sure there are lots of peer groups (maybe your school even has group counseling) that you could join. If you talk to your school counselor and tell him or her that you're interested in meeting with other kids in similar situations, I bet they could make that happen and you could make lots of friends who'd understand where you're coming from.
Whatever your passions are - music, acting, dancing, writing, sports, etc. - get involved in those. Building a new support system can make a world of difference. None of us can choose our parents, but we can choose our influences and our friends. Choose to be around people who lift you up and inspire you. You're strong, intelligent, kind, etc. Use all of those traits to your advantage. You may be upset now, but you don't have to be upset tomorrow. Change your future NOW.
Please email me and/or keep in touch if you need any help or someone to listen. There are tons of nice people out there who can make a world of difference in your life. I know from experience. So please keep looking up. Things will get better because YOU are going to make them better. Good luck. :)
PS: You're welcome and I think you're SO sweet. :D
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