Do you have any other adult with you? I don't think it is legal or wise to have that much responsibility for so many young children. The money is fair, but there should be at least two of you getting that amount for safety reasons.

Are the girls in your school who are wanting abortions able to get them? Whether or not you beleive it is wrong, it is legal and their choice. The problem with any major decision, is that once it is done...that's it. So, I just hope that these girls are educated enough about all their options and the risks of each one as well as the potential benefits. Abortion is only safe if done by a professional medical doctor and it is safest when done early on.

Jesus instructed His disciples to pray to God..."Our Father, Who Art In Heaven...Thy Will Be Done..." God gave mankind freewill and choice. When our choices are outside of God's will there are natural consequences that follow. God by definition is all knowing and all powerful, and not bound by our restrictions of time and space. Time itself was created by God, if you are speaking of the Biblical God. God is outside of our definitions of time. God made Man and all Creation...we ARE His plan. Freewill is His plan...God allows choice...allows us to experience what it is to exist apart from His protection. In the Bible God is also referred to by Christ as Father. A parent may watch in pain as his or her child makes a bad decision, but sometimes that parent knows it is the only way a child who will not listen to the teachings of the parent, will know for his or her self, what the outcome will be. God did not desire a planet of robots, but a people to have relationship with. His plan includes and enables man to participate in the creative process. When you are a parent you will plan to have a good relationship with your child. Your child will test you as a parent and every rule will be questioned if not broken. Children are rebellious by nature and want to find out for themselves...but the parent trys to warn and protect and limit freedom for the child's good, but eventually the child will grow-up and screw-up like we all do. The parent will always love and welcome that child to come home...that is what God does. He is always ready to welcome us back home.

Live your faith. Let your actions speak louder than your words..people will know your sincerity without being preached at, and will want to know how and why you are able to do what you do, at which time you can share the testimony of your faith. If your words and actions are not in harmony, you will look like a hypocrate...and while all humans are prone to error and hypocracy at some time, no one likes a full-time preacher who does not practice what she preaches to others. Practice the values you believe in. Be honest, kind, etc..

There are a lot of conflicting opinons out there and in the advice you will be given about who god or God is and what he wants from you as a person or Christian will be dependent upon the beliefs of the answerer....no one can give you an objective answer, or the only answer for that matter. What made you suddenly realize last month, that you need or wish to have a better relationship with god and what does better mean to you? I can give you better advice if I have a clearer understanding of your particular situation. I wish you the best and hope you are finding your answers...let me know if I can help more.

There are a zillion ways to view any subjective topic...religioun is no exception. In fact, it is rare to find even two people that completely agree on such volatile issues as religion offers. The thing is to use your head, not lose your head over this. You had some information and then you got some more information. So, continue to play detective and seek the truth. There are opinions and then there are facts...but a lot of facts turn out to be opinons as well...confused? Good, that is a great start...it means you are using your brain and life is confusing if you are engaged in participating with all your mental capacity. Of course, if you just follow the flow of whatever mode of thinking or beliefs are popular at the moment you will be worst than confused...you'll be lost. So, keep seeking and asking and never give up. Life is a journey and truth is something worth exploring for yourself...be critical of all who claim to know everything...whether religious or not!

Don't let other people get inbetween the two of you by listening to their trash talk. You are happy with him, right? Forget the gossips...they are jealous and annoying. Life is too short to worry about what other people think...especially when they are not your friends.

Love is very powerful and yes, attraction that is only physical is nothing compared to the attraction you feel for someone's whole being...you can be drawn to people for many different reasons. However, it is difficult to estimate at this stage of the game, the importance of chemistry and physical attraction. He is wise to slow things down anyway...even if you were head over heels in lust with him, it would be best not to jump into anything. Keep being honest with him and yourself about your feelings. You may find yourself more or less attracted to someone as you get to know them over time....some gorgeous guys end up looking more like creepy spiders after you get to know them. Don't overanalyze it...just follow your heart. You are not a bad person for not finding him attractive on the outside...it is a human thing.

One fun idea is a gift basket with a bit of everything...made up of little things like sunscreen and a lift ticket for snowboarding, a new cd, dvd, popcorn, favorite snacks, a gift card or scarf from a fav store, a new and whimsical deck of cards, games, organizer, new work journal/calendar...whatever is within your budget and creativity.

Sounds like you and your guy are already on the right road to love...just take it easy. Rushing things never makes it better or more real. Savour every moment and relax into it. He is already digging you, so don't pressure him or it could backfire. Continue to be the lovable fun gal he is already falling for.

Thanks for the one. Merry Christmas.
--------------------------------------------


Your mom does not want to see you ruin your life, get pregnant, become a teen mom, get stds etc... She loves you and it is her job to be a pain in the ass. You need to realize that what you want and what is good for you are not the same things. When you were a child you wanted all kinds of things that would have been unhealthy and dangerous for you. It is the same thing here. You are still very young. Love is not sex and sex is not love. However, when you are young and especially female, the two become confused. It feels like love, it feels great. It never lasts. It ends badly. Your mom and every adult woman knows these things. Listen to those that are trying to help you protect yourself...even if it sucks right now, you yes YOU will be happy you listened in time.

See your doctor if this is really a problem in your life. You are most likely lacking physical exercise and need to do an hour of it in private and prior to seeing your boyfriend, at which time, your body may take care of your excess gas without an audience. Laughter is great, and farting is normal, but you need to get some control over this and quickly.

You are being really unrealistic if you think you can add more stress on him and that he won't hate you for it. The little time you have together is precious and you should be letting him know how important it is to you, by treating him with respect and love. Be considerate of his feelings and not just focused on your own needs. Love is seeing and doing something to fulfill someone other than yourself. Only you can save or ruin this relationship with your words and actions. Which will you choose? Whatever you do, give it 100 percent.

Why is it you think you have to be strong for everyone? How did you come up with being strong equals being phony? Sometimes being strong is admitting weakness and having needs. The real reason you are afraid to show weakness and sadness, is because you have tried to in the past and no one helped you or comforted you and so you learned to deal with it on your own. You can't carry on like that forever and let it build up. I am glad you are realizing that you need help and that you are seeking help...keep it up. Talk to your school counselors and teachers for starters. Keep talking to them. Things won't change overnight, but it is a step in the right direction. You are not alone, no matter what or where or whatever you are feeling, there are people in the world that are going through similar things and would befriend you if they could. You will find a way to open up and reach out and be strong enough to be vulnerable again someday. Start today with someone who has not let you down in a big way. You can't really fool people and you need to start helping yourself out of this hole you are in. This is a stressful time, but you will make it through and there will be joy in your life...

You are afraid of losing him and losing love. That is why you get so angry and desperate and say and do things you regret. This is the part that is missing. He is not what you want...you are trying to make him fit what you want and need, but you can't and he can't. Either he would have to magically change or you would. Neither is possible...not now, and not years from now. Let him just be a guy...not your only chance at love and happiness. Here is a big secret...they are all just a guy. There is no prince charming. That does not mean there are not a thousand other better guys out there for you though...so keep looking, keep growing, keep finding out what you really want in life and in a mate. That will bring you closer to the real love story...yours.

Why is it you and your friends are fighting over or sharing one guy...who is not even worth it? He has used you all, hasn't he and he is the one getting away with it. He does not want to trouble himself with honesty or commitment. He will use as many of you girls as you allow him to do and then he will be done with you and move onto the next girl and her friend and whoever else. The reason he said he can't trust you is to shift the blame onto you so you will not wise up to what he is doing. There is a fox in the henhouse my dear. Don't waste your time thinking he might choose any of you for long...he will always be looking to chase more chicks...

Follow up***
The mess is not yours to clean up. Just get out of it. Remove yourself from the situation, the conversation and the humiliation. Tell them you don't want to be involved in the drama and that you don't want to be a bargaining chip. Tell them that his depression and the whole family dynamics are nothing to do with you and you cannot be involved. I would break it off with the boyfriend, at least until they figure out a plan that does not include you.


Wow. I would be confused, too. There is a lot of serious manipulation going on here. They did put you in the middle and it is wrong. Your boyfriend has learned to manipulate his parents, probably from watching his parents do the same...you do not want to be in the middle. Take yourself out of their mind games. They have a lot of problems that have nothing to do with you, and you are not ever responsible for making them happy or for keeping the peace or whatever else they are trying to make you do. Do you want to end up married into that mess? Get out now and don't look back. Nothing will ever change there and they will never stop using you.

Sexual attraction and love are two separate things. Guys know this. Girls do not understand this and some women will waste a lifetime trying to figure it out. Sexual attention is not caring or love. There is nothing wrong with having a good time...but the price is usually much higher for the woman. He may or may not call...it does not matter. You need to be okay with it either way and not let him control your feelings and life with a phone call that will not mean as much to him. Guys are not looking to commit, they are looking for hook ups. You are going to disregard much of this advice and I understand the struggle you are in. You are worthy of a relationship, of love, of commitment, of romance and all that great stuff, but don't base your worth on one night or the phone call that may or may not follow it. Caution from this point on will guard your heart.

You have an obligation to your children to be the grown-up and that means doing what is in their best interest. A counselor or therapist can help you to figure out why you are unhappy. A divorce will not make you happy and neither will other sexual partners. Only you can figure out how to be what you need and bring joy into your life from within. Marriage is always hard and so is raising a family. Many times the reason we are unhappy is because our expectations are not met...and they are usually way too high and unrealistic. Is your wife happy? Have you been the man she needs? Both of you can still find real love and meaning in life together. It will take something strange first from you, but if you do it...if you dare to do it, you will have a chance. Let go of everything you think you know will make you happy. Let go of everything you see and hear everyday that tells you that you are not happy...the television, other people etc...Now when you have really shut out all that noise you will be ready for the next step. Listen. Listen to the needs of those around you. Listen to the crys of the hearts in your home. They are in pain. You have not been loving them. You have been afraid to give any more of yourself, because you think that if you do, you will disappear altogether. Your fear has kept you unhappy. The secret of true happiness has nothing to do with selffulfillment. When you begin to give love really unselfishly give love to your young wife and children, they will see you with new eyes and more importantly, so will you. You are the hope and salvation of your own life and you will lead your family down one of two paths..it is always your choice.

You know what really peaks a guy's interest? Someone who really digs them and let's it show a little. Your interest in him will actually spark an interest back or at least the opportunity for him to really consider you. Be a little flirty and then move along. Give him enough attention to notice, but not be overwhelmed. A look, a smile a hello will accomplish this without throwing yourself at his feet. Keep your dignity and pride, but peak his interest...that is what it is all about...sounds like hokey-pokey, right? Love is a game, and guys love the chase.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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