NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: Im turning 17 and i will be recieving my full license. and i will need a car for the summer, and my senior year. however i will be going away to college so i wont need a car after senior year.. my mother doesnt want me 2 have a car because she doesnt want to pay for insurance because it will be really expensive so i thought of maybe leasing a car for a year.. any advice on leasing?? what would be better???

You actually can't lease a car until you're 25... so you're stuck either buying a junker on your own and paying for your insurance, or waiting until after college.

Q: What's the difference between sleeping with someone, and having sex with someone?

Because i was watching The Holiday last night with Cameron Diaz and Jude Law, and they said something like, "We've already had sex once, and slept together twice ..."

I always thought they were the same thing, but i guess not? Help?

Well, there are two different meanings of "sleeping with someone". One is used as a euphemism for having sex... the other is literal; sleeping in the same bed.

In this case, they used the literal meaning.

Q: 19 f
ok so for my college psych class i have to do a five minute presentation on epilepsy. I was just wondering if anyone had any good ideas to get the class involved on the presentation. I do have epilepsy so its not the information im worried about i just want to make it interesting instead of the usual powerpoint deal. any advice is appreciated!

If your class is large (as I suspect it might be, knowing most undergrad psych classes) then a lot of the ideas below won't work... you won't want to photocopy 1000 quizzes!

Try focusing more on the personal aspect. Really get into what it's like to have epilepsy. Add a little drama into it. Try to get them to imagine being in that situation. People respond a lot more to emotional ties than to hard facts.

Q: who wrote the song come on eileen iknow the clash had it but who originally wrote it

Actually, it was DEXY'S Midnight Runners, not Dixy's.

Awesome song :D

Q: I dont know what to do! I just got this puppy like a week ago and it aint eating notin i mean like 3 days after we got it it waz playing and running around the house and everything and eating, now it aint eating notin.We tried to give it food today but it want eat it all it would do is drink water and milk. What should i do she is losing weight and everything .

Try getting some canned food. It smells better and is more appetizing to dogs.

If that doesn't work, try warming it up in the microwave until it's just over lukewarm. That helps release the smell of it.

Q: my boyfriend and i talk during sex sometimes.

is this a bad sign?

as some of you know, sex makes weird sounds as times. is it healthy to laugh at these together?

It's not a bad sign at all.

As for laughing, my boyfriend and I usually end up laughing during sex. It's a pretty funny situation, if you really think about it.

You're obviously both really comfortable with yourselves and each other. That's great!

Q: I really need a new haircut. Right now my hair is very long and has long layers. My face is in between a round/heart shape and my cheeks are kind of pudgy. What are some hairstyles that could work for me? I'm willing to get a shorter cut, especially since it'll be summer soon, maybe bangs, i have no idea..but what could flatter my face? I also am big boned (in other words, my body shape isn't really thin) so i also need a cut that could maybe flatter my body shape a little. Thanks!

I'm pretty largeish myself, and I have short hair.

If you're willing to do a big change, try going really short! I have thick, straight, fine hair, which is cut to about an inch and a half above my shoulders, with tons of layers and sweepy side bangs.

Short hair is great because it takes no time to style or dry, you can just leave it if you feel like it. It gets rid of dead ends, and you use a lot less shampoo and conditioner! Also, it's a lot more versatile than you think. When I feel like putting a little effort in, I curl the ends so it's flippy... really cute!

Q: Do you think it's wrong to take a picture of your boobs for a guy you're not dating?

p.s. I like him. He says he likes me. If that helps.

I'm assuming based on the general demographic of this website that you're a teenager (under 18).

Did you know that it's illegal for anyone to possess pictures of a sexual nature of a minor? If you were to give this guy pictures of yourself topless, he'd be in possession of child pornography. Wrong.

Don't give pictures of yourself naked to anyone. It's too dangerous; they could get leaked online, they could be shown to people you don't want seeing them.

Try another way of impressing him ;)

Q: Hey guys, I know it is not advice I need, but please help me out.

I have a monitor right?

But the image on my screen is not utilising the entire monitor.

There is aabout an inch border on each side of the monitor. How do I correct this?

If it's a black border around the image, try messing with the buttons on your monitor. I don't know what your monitor looks like, but you should be able to find an 'adjust' function.

Q: Yesterday at work I was in the breakroom with Laurie, Torry, and Andy. Laurie says to me Nancy is supposed to meet Laurie and if I see Nancy I should tell her that Laurie will be finished with lunch in about 20 minutes. Also Laurie said Nancy looked like me and talked like me. When I saw Nancy I was a little bit insulted because Nancy is pretty and not pretty. Nancy had short cropped hair and black glasses that pointed at the side. Later on I was talking to Laurie and Laurie looked at me and said;you know you are better looking then Nancy and younger looking. Then last night I had to call Laurie to remind her of her appointment today and innocently asked; What did you say I looked like Nancy or I dont; and Laurie said; You are better looking and younger looking then Nancy. KEEP IN MIND I WAS TOLD BY PEOPLE THAT I COULD BE A COVER GIRL AND SARA (A COWORKER) TOLD ME ON THURSDAY THAT I AM PRETTY. MY QUESTION:SHOULD I BE INSULTED BY LAURIES ORIGINAL COMMENT THAT I LOOK LIKE NANCY; AND SHOULD I BE REASSURED THAT I DONT LOOK LIKE NANCY AFTER LAURIE TOLD ME I AM BETTER LOOKING AND YOUNGER LOOKING AND HOW WOULD YOU INTERPRET THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION.

I personally wouldn't interpret it at all. You're reading far too much into appearances and passing remarks.

It's really not that big of an issue! There's no point in creating drama where there shouldn't be any.

Q: Okay, this is for any math junkies out there. In the function sin(x), how do you find sin(x) when you know theta? And how are you supposed to adjust the rule for each quadrant (or quarter) of the graph? I would appreciate any help I can get, and no, this problem is not on hotmath.com.
I'm desparate!

When you're given the angle, you use a calculator. Sin(x) is the ratio between the sides opposite to the angle and the hypotenuse.

You don't have to adjust for other quadrants.

Make sure that if you're given theta in radians, you have your calculator set to radians. If it's given in degrees, you can just use the normal DEG setting.

Q: How much is it at a local vet to declaw a kittens front paws roughly.

Yeah yeah I know its painful and I dont want opinions. Its not my choice because if it was they would have all their claws.

Don't feel too bad about it. I worked at a veterinary clinic for 2 years, and I saw a lot of declawings. It really doesn't hurt them at all... they're just a little confused.

Animals recuperate a lot faster than humans do. I once saw a dog who had a leg amputated, and the next day was hopping around on his remaining 3 legs, happy as can be.

If a cat is declawed in the front, it still leaves their back claws (their fighting claws), so it's no real inconvenience for them. That and it saves your flooring, furniture, and your skin!

Q: Well sorry this is sort of long anywho i recently did some things that i know i shouldnt have done so i will just come out and say it but know this first i have never done drugs or anything bad until now but i drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes now these might not seem that bad to some people but it kinda of is to me because i have always promised myself i would never get into drugs and drinking and smoking and that stuff cause i always thought it was gross but alot of people at my school do it and i'm kinda overweight so i'm really not that cool and so i guess i thought if i did these things people would stop teasing me and all that stuff once they new i did these things but then i never came through to tell many people just myclosest friends cause i was kind of embarrassed about it and i know i made that big mistake but i feel like i needed to do it i dont know why and so now i'm kind of disgusted by myself for doing those things so my quetion is, is how can i stop wanting to do bad things like hurting myself like this and stop cutting my wrists and be more happy now before you answer this please i dont need any lecturing you will just make me feel worse and less of myself so please dont and if you have had experiences like this or with drugs and smoking and drinking please share it might help me

You've got to stop trying to be cool. Cool people don't have anything to envy. It might seem like they do, but half of their relationships are a facade.

Being overweight is no hindrance to making friends. I'm overweight (about 200 lbs) and I have tons of friends. And a boyfriend, for that matter. Stop thinking that being overweight is holding you back from anything. Just be confident that who you are is what people are really looking at!

If you do things just to be cool, then people will probably laugh more. Just remind yourself of that. Being who you are, no matter what that is, is always more interesting than trying to turn yourself into something you're not.

Don't be disgusted by smoking or drinking. A lot of people do it. Just don't do it in the future. If you're somewhere where people are drinking, just drink the mixer instead of the alcohol. You'll have a lot more fun sober than drunk. As for smoking, I'm sure you know the health risks involved.

Actually, I knew a girl in my Grade 9 health class who was a heavy smoker. We were shown pictures of some of the things that can happen when you smoke, and this is the one that made her get up, break each and every cigarette in her purse in half, throw them out and declare that she was never going to touch one again... and she didn't.

http://health.yahoo.com/media/mayoclinic/images/image_popup/ww5rn83.jpg

I'm going to do one tiny lecture. I promise, this won't hurt ;)

You've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself implies that there's something to be sorry about. Cutting your wrists does not accomplish anything. It's just self-pity. If you want to stop something, stop it. Don't cry in the dark and cut yourself, because that's not going to do anything about the actual problem. Be strong! You can do what it takes to get your life where you want it.

Q: So today in school this girl that likes to run her mouth about people, decided well im gonna run my mouth about you. She thinks i was not gonna do anything just because im quiet. So i ran up to her and confronted her and asked her are you talkin bout me. Shes like yea i am and wut r you gonna do about it. I take off my glasses and my necklace an im like what lets go right now. So she backed up then said wait and took off her necklace.. Then one of my teacher's told me to take a walk and jus walk away so i did, instead of punching her and gettin suspended i punched the door. Then me and my two friends walked with my around the corner to cool off. Then that bitch comes back for some more and my friends tell me to just get up and walk away. She still kept running her mouth so i was like thats it. I was running up to her cussin at her and i was ready to knock the shit out of her, until the principal came out and stopped me. We both had to sit in the office and he asked me wuts this all about so i told him. Then he asked me wut my next step is gonna be when i see her, i told the principal the next time i see her in the hall im gonna hit her in the face. Then i got sent home because they said i needed to cool off and that i will end up hurting someone because of my temper. The thing that pisses me off is that she started talkin shit in front of the office because she knew that they would run out and stop me from hitting her. She only did that because shes scared of me..Basically the principal told me that i have 2 more strikes left, the next one is suspension, and the last is most likely to be expelled. I dont want that to happen. So heres the thing i know that shes gonna do something to me on monday to try to get me mad and i cant control my temper and i know that im gonna beat her ass.. wut should i do?? im soo mixed up right now like shes the type of person who does not shut her mouth and it pisses me off i dont want to get suspended or expelled.. but can you all help me because i dont know what to do because i know coming monday i might fight her..

The cheapest, most non-classy thing a girl can do is let herself be provoked into a fight.

This girl talks sh*t about you because she KNOWS she can get a rise out of you.

It's easy to make her stop. If you let her know that what she's saying doesn't matter, then she'll eventually stop trying.

First of all, you've got to believe that it doesn't matter. What does she know about you? She's just some random idiot with a big mouth. And other people know that. I'm sure they've been victims of her wrath too. So if you don't believe her, and they don't believe her, what does her opinion matter?

Secondly, next time she tries to talk about you, try turning everything she says into a joke.

Loud-mouthed chick: "That (your name) will have sex with anyone!"
Your clever response: "Does your mom tell you everything?"

Thirdly, do NOT get angry or agitated. These people thrive on it. Stay calm and cool, and don't raise your voice. Don't curse at her. It really confuses people like her when you're just sitting there calmly discussing what she's saying.

Lastly, if you're angry, go home and do a nice heavy workout. Pushups, situps, go for a run, whatever. Make yourself sweat, and work out your anger.

I had to deal with people like this all through elementary/high school... this is the tactic I found worked for me!

Q: im 14/f
For the past month me and my best friend have had a very f***ed up friendship. I told him how i didnt know if i was a virgin because when i was lil i had a very bad past (long story dont want to get into) One day he asked me if i could send him pictures of me naked. he convinced me because i trusted him and he told me he wanted me and i was having a big effect on him and no one has ever said that to me before especially not a guy i really REALLY want. Anyway the next day he IMed me and said the only reason he asked was to see if id actually do it. he made me feel so cheap and yet i still talk to him every frickin day! and every day he makes me feel cheaper.last night we were talking and i was like the most sexual thing he ever did was make out with a girl almost a year ago and he said so what atleast i know im a virgin. and he knew how big of a sore spot that is for me and he threw it in my face! it was such a low blow. anyway how do i stop talking to a guy whos my best friend bc he keeps scaring me heart and im not sure how much more of this abuse i can take even if its just emotional. it hurts so bad that im tempted to hurt myself but i cant not talk to him. im addicted to him. what should i do?

sorry it was so long.

First of all, never send anyone nude pictures. Did you know that he could be arrested for possession of child pornography?

Cut off all contact with this guy. Delete him from your IM list, change your IM address, avoid him at school... and if he sees you and asks why you blocked him, tell him that you had to make some life changes, and that you realized that his friendship was hurting you, and that it's not something that you feel you should have to put up with.

People like this are poison. No friend should hurt you like that. A real friend wouldn't make you feel like a cheap whore.

Make some new, nice friends!

Q: What is the meaning of that song? I've been wondering for awhile and now it's really bothering me! thanks in advance!!

This question was deleted?

Sounds like a legitimate question to me.

I've always wanted to know, too... there's a great website called SongMeanings.com that I use for my questions... pretty much, people get to post what they think the song means.

Here's the link for Don't Know Why:

http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=80854

Q: i need this ASAP!! its due on monday.. a basketball project.. can anyone tell me (please) the techniques of basketball and how they work example : dribbling offense defense rebound, etc) and then how it wrks for example: dribbling. You have to .. bla bla bla// somethinhg like that coz i know nothing bout basketball and i really need helkp coz i wont be able to do this project over the weekend because i have to go to church the whole weekend so can you please tell me the basic techniques of basketball, something that i can undersatnd and please dont use big words coz i dont know thos words lol... thanks oh and if youre a too generous person can you also tell me the basic rules of basketball coz i also need it but techniques is numero uno ok? thanks so much

Unfortunately, we can't do your homework for you. I understand that you have a busy weekend coming up, but for us to do your assignment is academic dishonesty.

We can, however, give you a little help. This stuff is really easy to find. I just Googled "basketball" and got a whole bunch. Here are some links.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basketball
- covers the basics.

http://www.basketballsbest.com/fundamentals.htm
- has a lot of info on different techniques

Q: Ok.. well junior prom is in two weeks, and I don't have a date. I'm a girl, so I don't plan on asking anybody, and if anybody was going to ask me, they would have asked by now.

I was just going to go with a few friends but trying to find a dress and stuff... I just realized that I really don't want to go. I mean, the only reason I'm going is to say that I went, but I have a feeling that I won't enjoy it very much (especially without a date). And I don't know if it's worth the money if I'm not going to have fun, especially because my parents can't afford it.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to not go, because then I'll be sitting at home on Saturday night while all my friends are at prom and I'll be sorry I didn't go... but if I go, I won't have fun and I'll just be miserable.

I don't know. If I had a date, it would be okay, but I don't think I'll have fun without a date. What should I do?

We don't really do the junior prom thing in Canada, but I really didn't want to go to my senior prom. Especially because I didn't have a date.

I ended up going because my friends convinced me to, and it was a great night. We all went stag, so we weren't stuck with some boring guy we barely knew all night. It was just a night to be pretty and dance with my friends!

As for the financial end, you can get a really nice dress for under 100$. Just keep an eye out for sales.

Q: i was just wondering..which year of highschool was the hardest for you? like in working AND in relationships with everyone and everything. im going to be a sophomore next year and i wanted to take some extra courses but im not sure. thankss.

For coursework, Grade 12 was the hardest for me. I was so stressed out about getting into my universities of choice, and keeping my grades up, that it was really tough and stressful.

For relationships with people, Grade 11/12 was really hard. Because the classes you take start to specialize more, you may find yourself separating a bit from friends with different goals. That's really hard. You do make more like-minded friends, though.

Q: I need help on getting a proxy that isn't blocked to get on myspace at school, or anywhere that it is blocked. the only thing is, is that im always searching proxy lists but those sites are blocked too. it seems like everything is blocked at school, and i shouldn't complain but it seems unreasonable, ridiculous, and unneccesary. (sorry for spelling errors.) How do i create my own Proxy Site or whatever that my school won't know and wont block?

Why does it seem unreasonable? School internet access is for research purposes, not recreation. Taxpayers aren't spending thousands of dollars on internet access for schools so that you can play online!

Obviously it is necessary, because if it wasn't you wouldn't be on MySpace at school, would you?

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.