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July 7, 2005

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September 21, 2006

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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

Im goig to a new school next year with my best friend, she is great and ive known her forever, but im a fraid that if i hang out w/ her alot that, i wont make alot of new friends. plz help!!!

Whenever I have felt that way in the past, I remember this song that was taught to me as a child.

'Make new friends
but keep the old
One is silver
and the other gold.'

You can read the rest of the lyrics here: http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/makenewfriends.html

Basically it's saying that it's okay to have more than one best friend. You don't have to spend all your time with her, but don't ditch her either. It could also be fun to make friends that both of you like, and do some group things together. There will be times when you'll do something with a different friend, and that's okay. She'll make other friends too. But you don't have to lose her, and you don't have to keep yourself from making new friends. Share the love!

-Lea =)

what's a good way to keep your breath smelling fresh and oderless all day long? do listerine strips work well? i know that minty sweet gums don't.. so if anyone has any input,,please tell me!! thanks a bunch!

You should brush your teeth three times a day, and brush the gums and the tongue as well. Also floss. If you are still having problems, you may want to speak to your dentist about it.

Whats dry sex? I saw a question on here about it, and I wondered what it was?

Basically like having sex with your clothes on. It sounds like it's safe, but I'm pretty sure that you are still at risk for pregnancy and STDs. So if you do it, I guess, um...use a condom under your clothes?

=)

-Lea

ok today was my 1st day at driver tranning and we had a road drive already, and i really need to inprove my turning. Any tips??

Well...it would help if I knew the exact problem you had. But I will tell you this! Driver's ed sucks. It's stressful and you'll make a LOT of mistakes. BUT you'll get better. I was HORRIBLE my first time, and many times after that. But I have my license now! So just calm down and have confidence in yourself. It may also help to ask your teacher how to improve, or your parents.

My girl friend, Trish, is so beautiful and I love her so much.
The problem is people say that she is ugly, & I don't think that at all.
I was just wondering if I could get all of your honest opinions. Do ya'll think she is ugly?

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c54/TriciaxxxAnn/newhair.jpg

I'll rate 5s for all answers.

I don't think she's ugly at all. I'd like it better if she was smiling, though. Maybe that's not her normal expression, but I rarely smile, and when I do people are like "Whoa! Your smile makes you look really good!" It could also be her clothes...I look good in earth tones, but not bright orange. Colors have a powerful effect on how a person look. It's either that or the people you're talking to are blind, cause I think she's very pretty.

=)

My cheer squad is putting together an appreciation type party for our football players as the get ready for the season.

At this thing, we want to show a football movie. We have it narrowed down to Remember the Titans and Friday Night Lights. We think they're both one of the best football movies out there (well... besides Rudy, of course) but we can't decide on one.

Which would y'all choose? If you answer, we'd really like a reason why as well!

Also, we really just and one of those two, nothing else, and we can't show both. Thanks

I haven't seen either one, but here's something you can do. I do this all the time when I want two different books but only have enough money for one. Find somebody who doesn't care one way or the other, and have that person put both movies behind his or her back. They will shuffle them without looking. Select a chairperson to tell them when to stop, and to pick a hand. Whichever movie was in that hand is the final decision, no going back.

Hope it works out for you!
-Lea =)

This is kind of random but do you think that when someone losses thier virginity they should tell thier parents?

Nope. It's none of their business. If you have an STD or get pregnant, then you really should. If not, they don't need to know. It's YOUR body. If you're really close and open with your parents, then you can if you want to. But otherwise...I mean, if you were married and lost your virginity, would you tell your parents? Probably not. So, yeah, basically it's not something they need to know.

13/f
well i used to masterbate but i dont anymore... i haven't started my period yet
could this of affeceted it? please help

Nope, they have no connection whatsoever. It's completely normal that you haven't started your period. It's different for everyone, you could start tomorrow or you could start two years from now. Don't worry about it.

Can somebody please give me the code that allows me to put a picture, RIGHT NEXT TO some text in my about me section. Kthanks :)

...Lol, it's not showing up on my column, but hopefully you can see that.

Is a tomato a fruit or a veggie???? There are a few of us wondering!

Fruit.

These is for all you girls :) How would you like to be aproched to,loke if a guy wants to hit on you on the street what would youlike him to say?

I'm going to be honest here. I would not want a guy to hit on me on the street. If a guy did that, I would kick him and run. If there was a police officer nearby, I would go to him or her. This is a pretty typical response for most sensible girls.

If a guy wanted me, well, he would have to be someone I knew. He'd have to be really nice about it--if he's shy, or if he's super-smooth, it doesn't matter. Just the fact that he's asking me out shows that he has confidence. A flower isn't neccessary...but it's a good idea! ;-)

Don't: Tell her you want to have sex with her, smack her ass, feel her up, etc.

Do: Try to be romantic about it.

Another tip, especially if you don't know her that well. Watch the movie Shopgirl. Pay close attention to the way Jeremy (the one who isn't Steve Martin) asks her out. It's pretty fantastic (but don't copy him word for word!)

ok well im a 15/f and my bf is a 16/m. we have been together for over a year now and i know what people are going to say your 15 sex can wait and i know it can. i mean i want to wait until later on in life but yet i sometimes feel like im ready to do it with him.. i mean me and him have talked about it before and he says he thinks hes ready but it all depends on me. i mean i love him to death and never felt this way about a guy before..he tells me he loves me alot and wouldnt make me do anything i wouldnt want to..hes told me that hes never felt this way and wouldnt know what to do if he lost me. but i mean when i say i want to i know for a fact ill chicken out because im so self conscience and like because of pain and possible bleeding. we talked about it last night and like when he wants to and stuff but he told me its up to me. like how do i know if im ready? how bad does it hurt? and like would i bleed alot? like i dont want to screw up and stuff like im scared to do it how do i get over it?
sorry its so long
thanks
(i rate)

Nobody can tell you if you're ready--that's all up to you. I'm not going to tell you not to do it, because I'm sure you're capable of making your own decisions. I'll tell you how to know if you're ready--if you have to ask, you're not ready! The day you can say without hesitation, "I'm ready to have sex." is the day you really are ready. If you have any doubts at all--even if you've already gotten your clothes off--back out. Always trust your instincts! Your boyfriend might be a little annoyed, but he sounds like a really great guy, and he should understand. How bad it hurts depends on how tight you are, how large his penis is, and how intense it is. Same goes for how much you bleed. You may NOT bleed, if you have already broken your hymen, which you can do by riding a bike. You probably will screw up. Remember the first time you rode a bike? Didn't you fall? It's the same thing here, but you'll get better. And you will get over it when you're really ready. ;-)

-Lea

I was picking at a pimple and now its a cut. I need to know how to get rid of it quick because I am going out tonight and I don't want to look like that. Does anyone know any home remedies for making a cut go away?

There's this stuff called bag balm that heals really well. You can buy it at a drug store, it comes in a green tin with a cow on it. It works quickly and amazingly well--I put it on every little cut I get. It may not completely vanish, but it will be better, and it won't get infected. If that doesn't work, there are always bandaids. You could use a Hello Kitty one or a sparkly one. Bandaids as a fashion statement are actually kind of in right now. =) And they're a lot cheaper than bag balm, which is actually quite expensive.

-Lea

last night the kid i like asked me out, the only thing is, i dont want a boyfreind right now because there is only 7 days left of the school year until summer! and i go away alot in the summer and i just want to be free and hang and chill and stuff. so i wouldn't be able to see him a lot. so i told him no, but didn't handle it the best way. i like him still and i want him to like me, but i feel bad! what should i do? talk to him about it? still flirt with him?

You need to explain all of this to him, and say that you're sorry you said it the way you did. However, DO NOT flirt with him. Telling a guy you can't be his girlfriend and then flirting with him...that would be like putting chocolate cake in front of a little kid and saying "You can't eat this." It could seriously hurt him, emotionally. Your reason for not wanting to go out with him is a good one--make sure that he knows it wasn't because of him! Patch things up before it's too late, you don't want to spend your entire summer with this hanging over you.

-Lea

ok so i have been on and off with my boyfriend for about 2 months. He has dumped me 4 times and ive dumped him once and it's usually over a stupid fight and a day later he relizes what he's done and ask me to take him back, and i do. So it's summer and we dicided to keep in touch and stay togetasr. He recently got a myspace and is leaving all these girls picutres comments say damnn or cute pie, and gorgeous and stuff like that. I'll admit it i am jelous but should I be mad also. I dont want to confront him that would be way to awkward , i just dont no if i should be mad. Thankyou!

Yes, you have a right to be angry. You have a right to feel anyway you want. Though, to be honest, he's really not worth being jealous over. If you break up over every little fight, it's not a stable relationship. And if he was serious about you at all, he wouldn't be leaving those comments to other girls. I think you should break it off with him for GOOD. There's a word for this kind of guy, but to keep this G-rated, we'll just call him a "jerk". There are better guys out there, go find one! =)

it is so hot here in the uk how can i keep cool without spending to much ????????/ ill rate high

Electric fans are very cheap. Air conditioners are a little more expensive, but you don't have to pay a lot for a good one. You can also open windows, wear light clothing, take a shower, or go outside and turn on the hose or sprinkler. You can make ice cubes, put them in a plastic bag and hold that on your head. And drink a lot of water so you don't get dehydrated! Don't fan yourself with your hand or a paper fan, that actually makes you hotter because you're moving.

heyy what are some more sayings like "save a horse, ride a cowboy"&& "save a rail, grind a skater"and "save a drum, bang a drummer" does anyone know anymore like those???

Save a fish, eat a shark.
Save your file, press Ctrl+S

Yeah, you probably wanted more sexual ones, but those were the only ones I could think of. I think they're pretty funny.

I aint really asiking for advice but I was just wondering why in some countries the men were mightier then the women?

I think because there were lesser men then women?

This is a pretty complicated topic. Actually, a really long time ago, there were matriarchal societies--ones ruled by women. There are theories about small, opressed tribes of men who rose up and took over, destroyed the female-dominant culture, and replaced it with new culture/mythology/religion. It's actually pretty fascinating (and just a little bit sad), and I suggest reading some history books if you want to know more. I have this one called "When God Was a Woman", which is basically about how the male-dominated religions of the Mediterranean took over older, matriarchal ones. Definitely add that book to your reading list, and I'd also check out Virginia Woolf.

how come when people get menopause they are moody?

Because it causes a lot of hormonal changes. Hormones pretty much regulate everything that goes on in your body, from your weight, to acne, to your mood. It's also something that happens to a woman when she's getting older, and people don't really like to be one step closer to death. I imagine it's a little upsetting for them.

That will give you more information.

I'm a 16/f and my best friend is gay.

Okay, well, his family is very religious and grounded in "southern" beliefs, and if he comes out to his parents he is afraid he will be kicked out of his house.

He is going to tell his mom first, and THEN his dad, and hasn't told either of them yet. However, he is pretty sure that both of them already know, because of how he acts and things he likes and the fact that most of his friends are girls, and yeah.

He is adament about coming out to them, because he doesn't want to hide who he is, and I don't blame him. Do you think that he, at just 16, should WAIT to come out to them? I dont know what swort of advice I can give him. What should I be doing to help the situation?

I think he's waited enough. Coming out is something that he needs to do, and if he believes the time is right, then it is. Unfortunately, his fear is a reality for many people. If the worst should happen, just be there for him, and ask your parents if he can stay at your house.

You may want to read a few things first. http://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html is helpful, and you can find more information through google.

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm not giving you enough information. But the truth is, he's doing something really big and it may or may not turn out well. Cheer him on, and be there for him if it doesn't work. I should add that many parents don't react the way they're expected to. I read a true story about a man who was never close to his father at all--the day he told his father he was gay was the first time they hugged. So it may be wonderful! It might be rocky at first, and with time become easier. And it might not end up well at all. No matter what happens, be there for him as a friend and show that you love him. That's most important.

Be sure to tell your friend that I'm cheering for him!

-Lea

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