about

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.


I have been featured 4 times. :)

advice

Hi there,

I upgraded you to a paid account. Please take the time to go back to the question you filed the abuse report on, and click to view the questioner's other answers.

You will then see it from the perspective I have. You didn't answer incorrectly at all. In one of her other questions she outright states she hooked up with another guy because she was mad.

Also, please read the answer I left for her. I hope it is everything you wanted to say but were afraid to. ;-)

Enjoy!

DN.

Aw DN thank you so much I am so grateful. This has made my day and on my birthday and everything. :)
I didn't hold back with her I don't know if you saw my orginal post I gave it everything..then felt awful incase I totally misread it!
Im so happy I didn't because I was questioning myself after I re read it and usually my judgement is spot on I don't tear into people unless they completely deserve it. It's my no mercy policy!
I really don't know what to say I cannot stop smiling!
I won't let you down and will continue to answer questions and stay loyal to this site it has helped me with so many of my own problems.
Thank you again!
Much

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19/f
my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago. he broke up with me when i was drunk, we got back together the next day and then he broke up with me again 2 days later saying that everything was 'weird'. he broke up with me because i said stupid stuff when i was drunk like that i wanted to be single and other stuff that i didn't mean. anyways, we've been talking a little and he told me he misses me but he doesn't wanna get back together but he's giving me really mixed signals and i think he's still hurt. the last (and pretty much only other time) we broke up it was because he broke up with me when i was drunk and i kissed some random guy at a bar because i was so pissed. he never forgave me for that and he told me that after that he started taking all of the dumb stuff i said about wanting to be single seriously. he says if we ever got back together he would be worried i would cheat on him. he says his feelings for me will never be the same but i don't believe that. i think he's just hurt because he keeps sending me really mixed signals. my question is how i can gain his trust back. i already haven't drank since we broke up (i had been drinking maybe 3 nights a week this summer) and i haven't hooked up with anyone else. i just need to figure out a way to show him i ONLY wanna be with him. because that is truly 100% how i feel. thanks



EDIT*
Your question was unclear.. When you said you kissed a guy because you were "pissed" It implied wasted I apologize for being so harsh I interpreted that as he broke up with you because you kissed some other guy because you were so drunk.
I still stand by what I said to a certain extent that you shouldn't be saying you want to be single when you are with him but if you never cheated on him that's fair enough and I'm sorry If it seemed judgmental but the way you wrote that it can be misinterpreted.

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I'm 13/f and I have a friend named Derek,and he's 16/m.I don't know if I could say what we had was a relationship,but if felt like it.When we first met,we both introduced ourselves,and he kissed my hand.And after that,we became inseperable.We would kiss,hold hands,and hug each other.But then he asked me if I loved him,because his sister said he was going to kill hiself,but he said it wasn't true.So when he asked if I loved him,I said yes,and he felt the same way.Then he kissed me one last time,and I haven't heard or seen him since.Why?

Hey there:)
Okay well from what you said and to be brutally honest it sounds like this guy was just using you.
I know that probably isn't what you want to hear but the fact that he is 3years older leads me to that conclusion aswell.
He's a guy. Like many he got what he wanted and now he is moving on.
He fed you a lie about his sister going to kill herself..that's a horrible thing to say don't you think and a very serious issue at that. Suicide should not be used to guilt you into saying I love you to him.
I think it's time for you to move on.
You are still really young and have plenty of time to meet other guys ones closer to your age who won't lie to you kiss you and then not contact you again. You deserve better than that.
If you really want an explanation text him ask him what's the deal maybe its possible theres stuff going on in his life but it's no excuse to completely ignore you.
Be wise and don't let guys walk all over you.
Good luck :)
anymore questions please feel free to inbox me
much

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Ok, I had a group of really close friends in middle school and high school, me and three other girls. We would spend EVERY weekend together, all weekend, despite the fact that we all went to different high schools. I'm not trying to be egotistical but I was the popular, smart, athletic, and pretty one in our group, the other girls got didn't have any interest in boys, C-averages, didn't play sports, and were a little on the heavy side, but they were my best friends. Now we are sophomores in high school and the guy that one of my friend likes, likes me and she's bitching at me, because she is basically blaming me and saying I was to, I don't even know, likable I guess? But I tried to explain to her that the only reason I even talked to him was because i was trying to hook them up, but now he likes me and I don't even know him really. I need to figure out what to do. I have grown apart from the other two girls because they turned on me for no reason and made better friends since but I don't want to lose another best friend over something so stupid. How Do I Get My Friend Back?

Hey there :)
Okay well what it seems to me is that perhaps your friends feel a little threatened by you? that sounds harsh maybe insecure around you?
As you said yourself you are the pretty out going ones. They are more shy reserved. The probably feel like they aren't noticeable in comparison to you.
I'm not saying this to try and make you feel bad or guilty you have a great personality and you shouldn't change it. But try and see it a little bit from their perspective.
Your friend is probably feeling totally rejected that the guy she liked ended up liking you..it's not a nice feeling.
My best friend was the one who used to get all the male attention even though people would always tell me I was prettier and had a nicer personality.
They probably feel a bit stuck in your shadow. I felt that way for ages with my friend until I got more confidence in myself.
You might say well it's not my fault they feel that way I'm not going to change to make them feel better and that's true but show them you have some understanding.
Talk to them and explain it wasn't your intention to get that guy to like you it was to help your friend. Ask them why they are growing apart from them.. have a heart to heart.
Help them to be more confident and out there like you. Tell them you value their friendship they could be feeling like you are too "cool"for them.
Ask them what's going on
Don't patronize them but ask how they are feeling what they think of you to be honest with you.
If they don't want to listen to you or stay friends with you well they are being immature and need to figure out how to overcome their insecurities.
In that case it's time for you to move on as hard as that can be. If they are true friends after you all sit down and talk get emotions and stuff out there then things should be fine.
Hope this helped..If you have anymore questions please feel free to inbox me :)
Much

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Problem:
-bullied through elementary and hit highschool more guys joined in, name called , took it to the streets and played niki-niki-nine-door , egged and paintballed my house, tried to run me over , through food at me outside school
-got raped and assaulted different times
-no councelling ever
-gotten more negative toward everything
-im emotionally torn apart
-friends all left me
-everyone bullied me lives around me the rape area is around me everything thats negative is surrounding me and I just cant forget it..
-im getting nightmares almost everynight, stress , anxiety , and emotionally break down almost every day
should I move away? should I get councelling?
any thoughts?

btw im 19

Hey there :)
wow you have certainly been through a lot. :(
Life throws us some horrible blows. Sometimes all at once and it can feel like everything is weighing us down and its just one thing after another. But leaving town won't solve these problems or fix your negative attitude. It's only going to go with you. Think about it.
You have been bottling up many emotions and you need someone to talk to,to let it all out to move on.
My inbox is always open if you ever need anyone to off load on. I would definitely recommend counselling. It would help alot or even talk to a family member. Your mom dad? I find my mom is always the best person to talk about how I'm feeling.
You need support in your life. What your going through at the moment you can't deal with on your own.
You have already made a great step by sharing with us all here..and seeking advice and help. Go that bit further and reach out for real.
don't be afraid to ask for help for someone to listen..its the least you deserve.
Start living and experiencing don't let cruel pathetic bullies get you down and keep you down. Experience the good in life. Focus on the positives even when it feels like there is nothing..find the smallest little thing.
Re discover your passions and interests get out there and make friends. REAL friends ones who care understand you and won't turn their back on you. There are people like that out there. Remember not everyone is bad and not everyone will hurt you.
Little by little and you will get there. Have faith in yourself. Put the past behind and look to the future. I know it's hard just to forget everything but in time it gets easier to accept it and move on. to deal with your problems and not let them haunt you for the rest of your life. If you let all this stuff weigh you down things will never get better trust me.
Think about talking to someone please :) It can't hurt any more than what you have gone through already can it?
Feel free to inbox me any time
I wish you all the best
Much

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i am 16 and m dating a 17 year old boy we have been dating for three years and we in a distance relationship so he telling me we should have sex so that he can remember me when he's away

Hey there,
Okay well the question is do you feel ready?
do you love this guy? or do you feel pressured?like if you don't do it he won't love you or will end it with you?
Ask yourself these questions.
Don't have sex until you know 100% you are ready. It's a very emotional and serious act despite what many think. If you go into it not ready it has consequences..I did it with my boyfriend I thought I was ready..he never pressured me but I just broke down it was such a huge deal for me as I had built it up to be amazing in my head and it was just an utter let down.
Be prepared. Don't do anything unless YOU want to.
If you feel ready and right and that he's the one go for it but use protection and be safe. Don't do it to please him.
I hope this helps good luck :)
Much

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Do you have a good relationship with your parents, or is it hard to be around them?

I was sexually abused, molested, raped, whatever you want to call it, when I was just 5 years old. It ended a little while after I turned 12, around the time I got my period. I guess I wasn't a 'little girl' anymore and my abuser lost interest. Anyway, I'm 18 now and that has stuck with me my entire life. It has had an astounding affect on my life. I had trouble connecting with people when I was younger. I trusted no one, I felt unloved, like I didn't deserve to be loved. I was a suicidal 9 year old at one point and I wouldnt have gotten through it if it wasn't for my older sister who was just a kid herself at the time. Ive always blamed my parents for what happened to me. It was a friend of theirs that abused me and Ive always hated my parents because I felt like they didn't protect me. At 9 years old I remember looking at my mother and thinking 'How could you let him do this me. Why can't you see that he's hurting me. Why won't you protect me, why don't you love me?'

So, I've always hated me parents. I took all my anger out on them and pushed them away. I've always wondered about how other people are with their parents. Sorry about my venting, but I'm really curious. What's your relationship like?

Hey there, :)
Let me start by saying I am truly saddened that you had to endure such awful abuse. No one should have to be subjected to that especially an innocent child.
My heart goes out to you.
It's clear you have some very serious emotional scarring after what happened to you which is completely normal but please blaming people isn't the answer.
It's so easy to blame people for the bad things that happen to us in life but think about it.. is it really helping anything?
Your parents probably had no Idea such a thing was going on.
If they had known what that person was like don't you think they would have never let you near them.
Your mother probably blames herself every single day for what happened to you. But the fact is it was no ones fault except the vile abuser.
Have you ever spoken to your parents or anyone about this?How it made you feel the effect it had on you?
You can't stay bitter and resentful.. your only letting your attacker win that way.. don't let him get away with destroying your life further.
Your parents love you. Despite how you may feel they do.
You deserve to be loved what happened to you was horrific but don't let it stop you from ever experiencing love again. There is good people out there. Please try and fix things with your parents. You seem like a very strong person you can get through this.
But you need a good support system and that includes your parents.
I personally have a great relationship with mine. I am so lucky to have a mom that I can share absolutely everything with. She is always there for me she is always there to listen comfort and support me. Let your mom be there for you.
talk!
If I couldn't talk to my mom about what was going on in my life I would crack. Or my dad even. He even offers me relationship advise! They raised me in a way that I am so grateful for. Set boundaries that I always respected and are considered cool by my friends lol.
Don't let yourself miss out on that any longer.
I'm sure it can be that way for you too if you let go of some of the bitterness you have built up over the years.
Have you ever gone to see a therapist or someone like a counsellor they could really help you.
You seem to have bottled up your emotions and battled against them for so long.
I know if anything like this ever happened to me my mom would want to be there for me..let yours be there for you please.
I hope I have given you a little perspective.
If you ever need anyone to talk to my inbox is always open :)
Much

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My boyfriend and I broke and he's dating a new girl. I want him back more than anything, I'm in love with him. I made the mistake of crying and begging for him back, and insulting the new girl he is with. All that got me, was him refusing to answer my texts and phonecalls. I want to know how I can make him want me again, and get him to want to talk to me. I guess, i just need some steps on how to win him back. I'll do anything, I don't care how long it takes.

Hey there :)
This isn't going to be what you want to hear right now but it's truly time to let go. As painful as that may be.
I know it hurts bad but hounding him and constantly texting him and begging to get back is only going to drive him further and further away from you. Especially by insulting his new girlfriend.
The fact is he has moved on. Whatever happened between you two is done. In the past. He is looking for to the future and I strongly advise that you should do the same.
It's so hard to move on when you still love someone. It's one of the hardest things to do in life but everyone has to go through it at some stage.
You need to respect his new decision. If you still love him you will give him that much.
Why waste your energy and efforts on trying to win him back when it's only going to cause you more pain and cost you more time.
Time is the key in this. It's a healer. You have to start getting over him.
Cry. Cry your heart out let all your emotions out look at old pictures allow yourself to miss him.. eat ice cream watch sad movies. Once that's done it's time to get tough.
Cut him out of your life. Every time you feel yourself start to think about him don't. Distract yourself. Call a friend. Go to the mall shop..bake listen to some upbeat music do anything that doesn't remind you of him.
Delete his facebook and his number.
I promise you after a while you will find your feelings start to fade I know you probably think right now that will never happen but it will.
Ive gone through my fair share of break ups.
I have been in that desperate stage where I was prepared to run to china and back just to get him back,but it doesn't work. You have to move on. I wish the answer was more simple but it isn't.
Its going to be hard but you will come through it a stronger person. And it will be worth it when you can finally say to yourself you know what I feel nothing from him.
You might even come to the stage where you are ready to wipe the slate clean. Even be the bigger person perhaps even be friends.
But right now you are acting very unfair and I know deep down you probably know that.
How would you feel if an ex wouldn't stop bombarding you with phonecalls and texts insulting your new boyfriend..you would be pissed.
I know I don't know the background here but how it ended and who did what is irrelevant.
Please take time to consider what I said and if you need any help or have anymore questions feel free to inbox me.
Good luck and remember a broken heart will heal.
Much

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19/M

I have been trying to get a boyfriend for a while, and it id just not working. I will start to talk to a guy, then something will happen and I am tired of it. I have a few friends, but none of them have any boyfriend potential. And one of my ex's is down from college, and me and him were texting one night and started to send pictures. Well, I loved being physical with him, and we are both single. I was half kidding and asked if he wanted to hook up, and along the way we decided that as long as we were both single, we would be friends with benefits whenever the opporitunity arose. I miss being physical, and I cannot wait to hook up with him. But what I am wondering is if what I am doing is wrong. I do care for this friend, but we both have agreed that we will NOT get into a relationship, we are only going to fool around (from kissing to having anal intercourse). I do not want to date him, he really is not what I look for in a guy. But I remember when we dated before he was great with all of the physical stuff, and I just want to have a good time and he seems like a logical choice to have a good time with. I just don't know if I should be doing this. Any advice?

Hey there :)
Hmm well friends with benefits is always a very controversial issue. Personally I see no problem with it as long as you both go into it agreeing that is strictly what it is.
I know you both have already but you need to make sure you are absolutely sure and are not going to get emotionally attached. You may say your not,but you never know what can happen feelings may develop.
You need to make sure you can deal with any consequences if any,like if he develops feelings for you and you don't.. or vice versa.
You say your trying to et a boyfriend make sure that desire doesn't cross over with your physical desire. In other words don't set yourself up to fall. Be wise don't confuse love and lust.
If it's just sex sure go for it your old enough to be responsible and make that decision.
About trying to get a boyfriend don't stress too much over it. Enjoy life have fun don't search high and low for boyfriend potential. make friends but just friends for a while Some times the best guys come along when your not trying your hardest to find them :) If that makes sense.
So therefore I think this might be a good idea for you.. to take your mind off trying to find a boyfriend. Relax have fun your young once right?That's how I see it. Enjoy yourself before you find that person you could see yourself settling down with,getting serious with. Ive found that person now and I'm nearly 18. Sometimes I wish I had that freedom to be single fun and flirty. But then I remind myself about the great guy I have and the future and stuff. That will come around for you =) just have fun until it does.
That's my advice anyway I hope it helps.
If you have anymore questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much

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It seems as if no matter how hard I try, I get caught in the same twist every single time I am interested in a girl.

I am currently 17 years old, and my first high school crush was this girl in ninth grade I knew. We shared a choir class, and she always joked around and flirted with me. At first, I acted myself and charmed her by doing so, yet as I started to fall for her more and more, I changed my mannerisms in a fear that if I keep showing her my true self, she will become uninterested in me. I tried to hide my feelings by acting macho and sort of mean, and that made her distance herself, and when I eventually confessed my feelings, she turned me down, and that night was still the worst night of my life.

Ever since then, I have felt the need to change my personality once I know a girl likes me. The moment I find out that she is interested, I choke up and any conversation becomes awkward as I focus in too much on making her laugh, making her interested, just desperately keeping control and making sure I don't lose her, and I always do

The next year, I had a relationship with a girl from Youth Camp. She was feminist, super liberal, and a very outspoken and loud girl. My main insecurities are trivial, like stomach hair, public perception, and other dumb stuff, but its those little things that make me so unconfident in my abilities. But I digress. I worked up the nerve to explain to her how self conscious I was, and she just said whatever, thats ok. I fell in love with her immediately, satisfied with the person who saw my true self and was unabashed. I then became clingy, and she also ended the relationship

Most recently, I started talking to this other girl. She was a year younger than me, and was the prettiest girl in my school. Guys chased after her, and I thought that hey, I might as well see who she is as a person. At first, she was distant, probably getting messages from many other fellas, but soon, she started initiating our conversations and she started to like me. We talked for six months for hours every single day. The moment I figured out that she was interested, I faltered. We set up a date to the movies, and my hands were shaking and I was totally nervous. In the movies though, I cracked some jokes and made her laugh, and she held my arm, which made me think that she was interested in me, either that are very flirtatious. Long story short, after the movies, she stopped talking to me at all, and I torture myself with wondering why. With wondering why I mess up right when I know she likes me, with wondering why I can't trust my abilities, with wondering why Im a good looking guy but still hone in on every glaring little flaw in my body and mind.

I know my confidence isnt that great, but I have to figure out what to fix so I dont ruin it next time. Im deeply sorry if this is too long, but I need some help. Thanks :)

Hey there :)
Okay let me start by saying never change who you are your personality or anything for anyone. I know that is sometimes easier said that done but think about it that seems to be your main problem as you know yourself is your confidence.
These girls were interested in YOU the initially weren't they? :) But then you drove them away when you tried to be something your not. Showed them a side they didn't like and didn't see at first.
You need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can. That doesn't mean becoming egotistical and big headed. It means coming to terms with your good qualities and focusing on them!
Everyone has insecurities.
I'm a girl I have a TON of them!
Whenever I would feel insecure around guys I would focus on my good points in my head until I convinced myself to relax.Like I have pretty hair I like my cheekbones. I have a good sense of humour and I'm a nice person. It's okay to focus on our good points. We focus on the bad waay too much.
You need to relax. Trust in yourself your personality. When you were talking to these girls first they obviously saw what a great person you were but then you turned them off by becoming too nervous over compensating coming on too strong and being clingly.
The next time there is a girl you are interested in Don't worry too much about driving her away by doing that you are ultimately doing it anyway!
Be yourself it IS working for you until you start to panic.
Have faith in yourself and the girl if she's the right one and your judgement :)
Think to yourself..she likes you..GREAT! :) it's all smooth sailing from there just continue doing what you were doing before you knew that. Don't go into panic mode.
Write down what you like about yourself sounds corny but it works.
Every time one of your flaws comes into your head stamp it out with well my hair is great. stuff like that really helps me.
:)
Us girls get turned off if a guy comes on too strong by being really clingly and confessing all his insecurities at once.
Once she likes you keep being yourself then when thngs progress let her know your insecurities. She will be flattered you shared and relieved that you have them too!
My boyfriend shared his insecurities with me and it made me feel like wow he sometimes feels how I do!
It made us closer and stronger. If he told me all that in the first weeks of our relationship I would have thought omg too much baggage do you see where I am coming from?
You seem like a really nice genuine guy who would treat a girl like she should be :)
So relax focus on your positives and remind yourself SHE LIKES YOUU! =)
Hope this helps anymore questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much

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I am a 26yr old Female and my baby sister is 21yrs old and this is her second time living with me and i am fed up, she has no visible goals and i now have a 4month old son and my fiance' is ready to move in.She has been back and forth between my house n a friends house and recently got a job but quit after a week.....what do i do ,because when i try to talk to her she always accuses me of not caring about her or not being there for her. i dont want to hurt her so can u please tell me how to handle this????

Hey there :)
Let me start by saying as zane has you do care!
If she can't see that then its her fault. I know she's family and it's hard but you know as well as I do she is acting like an overgrown child.It's time for her to grow up and accept responsibility in life.
The only way she is going to see is tough love. Sit her down tell her you love her to bits she is your sister you have been there for her you have offered her somewhere to stay but YOU have your own life to live. She cannot free load anymore. You have a young son. Your about to get married. You cannot have your little sister living on top of you even if she did pull her weight and didn't come and go and HAD a jod it would still be time to ask her to move on.
Surely she can understand you want your space to start your own family. That she is still welcome to stay at weekends and to spend time with you but not to live with her.
offer to help her to find somehwere else to live.
Tell her it's time she kept a job under her belt did something with her life. Tell her you believe in her and that she should set goals for herself. That way she won't feel like your pushing her out and forgetting her because you are too concerned with your "new life"
My sisters boyfriend is the same she is 22 and he is 23. They are having their first child together and my sister is at home for the moment until she finds her feet. But her bf free loads all the time,he is a great guy with a huge heart and will be a great daddy but he is lazy over dependent and sometimes acts like a child himself. He would stay for like two weeks at a time..and would hardly pick up after himself..my mom was at her witts end as was I but it was so hard to find a way to handle it as we didn't want to upset my sister either. They both have a short fuse. But there were other people in the house to think about and in the end we needed family time My mom told him he could stay up to 3 nights a week and that was it. My sister was fine with this too as she found it hard to get through to him about space issues too. At first he used to abuse the 3night rule but my mom had to go tough love on him. And it really worked he has found a job and is respecting our space and boundaries. He was spoiled all his life and never had a family envoirnment. I'm sharing this with you to show you I know how your feeling and I understand your frustration you probably feel trapped and that someone is going to be hurt in whatever you do. If you let her stay you will be stressed agitated as will your fiance fights will start and that's not good.
Deal with it now. Nip it in the bud.
Sure her nose will be out of joint for a while but if she has any sense on her shoulders she will come around. She will appreciate what you have doen for her in the long run.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck. :)
This is an exciting time in your life embrace it. Much

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I want to stop masterburting and i don't know what to do. Please help me.

I believe the word is *Masterbating.

You can't

Your a hormonal teenager. Its normal. Embrace it.

-Jess 17/f

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What is a ranch hand? My step brother and his friend always call me "hand" like they'll walk in the house and be like "whats up hand?" is that another way of saying "whats up friend?" or something it just confuses me..

Hey there,
Unfortunately Its something rather rude.

this should help clear it up..

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ranch+hand

basically your brother is being a disgusting douche :P like a lot of brothers"



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I'm from india

Okay this is possibly one of the most confusing/pointless things I have seen posted on here and I have been here for two years.
There is no even question asked?!
Please refrain from posting something with such a serious issue in its tittle and then making such a ridiculous and pointless statement. It is time wasting. One thing that bothers me in life is time wasters.
If you want help with something serious like suicide then all of us here would be at first hand to do what ever we can to talk you out of it and to offer help advice and guidance. but do not under any circumstances make a joke out of it or waste time which is what you appear to have done.
That is all/

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I personally.. dont want to go to University.. I know ''you wont get a good job'' , but I dont want to waste my time anymore in my heart I dont want to go... I want to go and start work right away.. I want to start working and I know its not the best thing but I want to work instead of studying.. is that normal?

Hey there :)
Of course that's totally normal! University isn't for everyone. Never be made feel like you won't be good enough if you don't go and get some high class degree.
Do what makes you happy in life.
If that means getting out there and starting work straight away well then do it! Don't worry what people will say or think. Society will always judge.
There is a need for regular 9-5 workers out there for the jobs somebody has to do and those people aren't given enough credit in life. Like store clerks managers waitresses etc.
You say it's not the best but why isn't it?
If its the best thing for you then surely that's good enough?
Don't listen to crap from people who make judgmental comments like oh he or she didn't go to college. It's just not for some people and that's okay.
I'm heading to college but that's because I have to to achieve the job that I really want to do in life so did my eldest sister. But my other sister never went to college and my mom and dad had no problem with that either as long as she was happy. She loves kids and started taking care of them for a living so it's fine not to want to go to university!
Do what makes you happy.
Hope this helps :)
Much

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I feel that to please a guy I am not tight enough, how can I tighten myself in a natural way?

Hey there
Well there is no real way to tighten it i'm afraid perhaps pelvic floor exercises but i don't think they are proven.
I'm sure you are just being overly conscious though :)
and honestly most guys don't care about that,and if they are well they aren't worth your time.
After we have kids it doesn't stay tight anyway so!
I hope this helps try not to worry about it. Sorry I can't be of more specific help.
Much

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Hi so I'm a fifteen year old female and within the past few months or so I've been having really awful nightmares and I think what makes them so awful is that I am bloody convinced they are real. I'll give some examples. I don't know if this happened in real life or on a dream but I had a conversation with my mother about my underpants and i can't for the life of me figure out if it really happened or not. Also in another dream I was indeed trying to figure out if I was dreaming or not so I'd pinch my self to see if it hurt or not but I couldn't tell if it did for not. It was kind of like my mind made me think it hurt just so i wouldn't figure out it was a dream. But the pinching aspect also frightens me for this reason: I've been told I talk in my sleep which makes me think what if I am performing these actions like pinching myself in my sleep and not realizing it? That's scary because sometimes I feel like i am screaming in my sleep. I woke up this morning knowing I was in real life again and pinched myself just because and I was almost convinced I didn't feel anything even though I knew for fact i was awake. Maybe it's because. I feel like my life has been changing and I like that it has because i feel different. But I think deep down I always knew there was something a little wrong with me so could it be a sign of some disorder or something? What do you think?

Hey there :)
Hmm this is intriguing..
It could be that your just anxious stressed tired.. the change like you said but there is one sleep disorder I know of its quite scary though and I'm not quite sure this is the same but it reminded me a little of it.
Have you ever heard of sleep paralysis? My sisters boyfriend has it. It's basically where you wake up in the middle of a dream like your mind comes out of the subconscious state but you are technically still asleep.. you think things are real and happening but they are really not.
Google it there is actually a lot of info on it and it's quite interesting. Sleep paralysis episodes can be scary if it's a night mare but the suffer usually knows when its occurring like if something is so bizare you know you are asleep.
He has similar experiences to you. Talking pinching etc. One night he woke up in his soccer gear which was in his car outside our house..he went out in his sleep and didn't remember.
We can do a lot of strange things in our sleep but it's totally normal. If your worried consult your doctor. It might not even be a disorder at all Personally I think you're just over thinking things. We all do weird things in our sleep and have those moments where we think oh crap was that a dream 99.9% of the time it was so relax :)
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with you.
Ive had moments like that too.
Hope this gave some insight!
any more questions please feel free to inbox
much

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A day after my pperiod, me and my boyfriend had sex for roughly 5 to 8 minutes. He didnt cum inside me, or at all. But i have heard you can get pregnant from precum. and im not sure if there was any precum or not. But what are my chances of being pregnant? I wasnt ovulating and my period had JUST ended. But i still am a little worried and feel stupid for ever doing it without a condom.

So what are my chances?

Hey there :)
I was in a similar situation not so long ago right after my period also and i felt exactly how you did foolish and full of regret. We were drunk and only did it for about 10minutes after that I stopped it straight away but the chances are veryy slim!
It wouldn't hurt to get the morning after pill just to be extra safe if its stressing you. But honestly I would say your fine.
It's a wake up call not to do it again though!
Good luck :) don't stress I would say you got away with it like me
-Jess

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my boy friend always want to see the colour of my pant every time we are together, even when his friends are around he hides at my back and pep at it. please what those this mean can any body help?

Hey there,
Basically your boyfriend is like any other guy.. overly hormonal. He is young and curious..too curious that its verging on the lines of creepy.
Nip it in the bud as it is creating awkward situations for you especially if he's doing it in front of his friends!
Tell him while your flattered he finds it sexy that you find it embarrassing and there is a time and a place for him to want to know that.
Hope this helps,
Much

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I have made up my mind to commit suicide so please dont talk me out of it. If you knew what im going through you'd have mercy on me and shoot me yourself. I solemnly request you to tell me the easiest way to end my existence. I want to over dose. But the problem is that i DONT WANT MY SUICIDE ATTEMPT TO FAIL so please tell me an exact amount of valium pills that I should take ( Im 18 years old) that would ensure that my suicide attempt doesnt fail. My dad beats me. And grounds me. So I cant leave the house and occupy myself in other activities. If I could I would never have contemplated suicide but trust me when I say this that suicide is the only way out from this relentless torture. Please tell me a way that would ensure that my attempt doesnt fail because if it does I'd be doomed for life. I'll wait for your reply.

Hey there.
I hate to disappoint but nobody on here is going to give you "tips" and a precise way to kill yourself. That's just crazy what kind of people would we be if we did that?
No matter how bad things get there is always a way of dealing with your problems BESIDES suicide. It's awful how people feel so trapped that they need to end their life.
Seek help. Talk to someone. Report your fathers abuse. Why would you deny yourself the wonderful opportunities life has to offer?
Im sorry to sound harsh but I have heard of people in WORSE situations than yours who have not turned to suicide as a way out. (I'm not saying what your dad does to you is acceptable or isn't awful)
do something about it. stand up to him report him. Don't end your life and give him the satisfaction of winning. Start living. Make friends. there's college get a job,make money set goals travel do something crazy.
all you are going to get is people telling you not to do it.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Read that. It will only take a minute but please please do. Ending life which is so precious is never the answer.
So many people would give anything for a second chance at life who are on their death bed. Im not trying to make you feel guilty but please value life no matter how bad things are they will always get better.
God bless you and much

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