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All of my friends have turned on me for no reason.
Ok, I had a group of really close friends in middle school and high school, me and three other girls. We would spend EVERY weekend together, all weekend, despite the fact that we all went to different high schools. I'm not trying to be egotistical but I was the popular, smart, athletic, and pretty one in our group, the other girls got didn't have any interest in boys, C-averages, didn't play sports, and were a little on the heavy side, but they were my best friends. Now we are sophomores in high school and the guy that one of my friend likes, likes me and she's bitching at me, because she is basically blaming me and saying I was to, I don't even know, likable I guess? But I tried to explain to her that the only reason I even talked to him was because i was trying to hook them up, but now he likes me and I don't even know him really. I need to figure out what to do. I have grown apart from the other two girls because they turned on me for no reason and made better friends since but I don't want to lose another best friend over something so stupid. How Do I Get My Friend Back?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First, your friend needs to realize that she can't control the behavior of others. It isn't your fault you're popular or pretty (or so you say) and she isn't. That was the genetic luck of the draw. And it isn't your fault the guy found you more appealing than your friend.
Listen, shit happens in life and you just have to roll with it sometimes. Your friend either needs to learn that or you can tell her to piss off.
As for the other girls, well, listen, friendships come and go. It sounds to me like you're better off without them. Don't be so captive to the whims and jealousies of others. It is your life and so you do what makes you happy. Your friends aren't you and so don't let them determine what you do.
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Well... she should understand that it is not your fault.. you didn't do anything adn you need to tell her again you dont like him and that you trying to hook them up... not you and him... she should understand that.. I mean its ONLY a guy.. theres tons of guys... you cant stop the fact that he likes YOU not her... she shouldnt be biotching you for it... or blaming you... you didnt do anything and thats kind of rude on her part... but to be honest I would consider finding new friends later on if they keep doing this to you.. they shouldnt turn on you because of a guy.. and its a good call I mean this is a pretty important lesson.. dont get guys in the way.. and how to get your friend back.. talk to the guy and tell him you wanted to hook up your bestfriend and him NOT you and you dont like him and talk to her and explain that you arent even interested in him and taht she means the world to you so you knew she liked him so you wanted to hook her up with him.. no blame in that.. if she is your truly bestfriend you wont loose her
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ok take my advice because this exact thing happened to me too. except I only had 1 best friend, not 3. She liked this guy but he liked me. He kept flirting with me and I only talked to him so they could get together. But then she started bitching at me and got into a huge fight. Sound familiar? Well here's what you SHOULDN'T do.. don't get involved with it. My mistake was that I kept trying and trying. Soon my best friend starts bitching at me because now i'm being too involved in her love life.. It tore us apart and we are no longer friends.
So my best advice is to leave the situation alone. Tell the guy you're not interested in him and that you were only talking to him so you could hook him up with your friend. Then tell your friend you're sorry and will stay out of the situation. After that, its her choice whether or not to forgive you. if she doesn't forgive you, then keep trying but if you've tried too many times and she still doesn't accept your apology, then maybe she's not a worthy friend.
As for your other 2 friends, you have to realize you're in high school. High school friendships RARELY last. Most friendships stay in contact like facebook etc, but then after a while everyone goes their separate ways and gets caught up in their own world. Its just how life goes. I thought I would stay with my high school friends forever, but now college is starting up and now i'm realizing I might never see them again..
So understand that you're only a sophomore. Its normal for friendships to break up at this time. High school is all about finding the type of people you fit in with. Don't force yourself to fit in with a specific group... let the group find you. Thats when you discover who you truly are.
If these friends of yours are turning against you, then maybe they aren't worth your time. Just enjoy life and you'll come across some new friends with whom you'll fit in perfectly with :) and who are loyal and worth your time.
Good luck and inbox me if you have more questions!
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Hey there :)
Okay well what it seems to me is that perhaps your friends feel a little threatened by you? that sounds harsh maybe insecure around you?
As you said yourself you are the pretty out going ones. They are more shy reserved. The probably feel like they aren't noticeable in comparison to you.
I'm not saying this to try and make you feel bad or guilty you have a great personality and you shouldn't change it. But try and see it a little bit from their perspective.
Your friend is probably feeling totally rejected that the guy she liked ended up liking you..it's not a nice feeling.
My best friend was the one who used to get all the male attention even though people would always tell me I was prettier and had a nicer personality.
They probably feel a bit stuck in your shadow. I felt that way for ages with my friend until I got more confidence in myself.
You might say well it's not my fault they feel that way I'm not going to change to make them feel better and that's true but show them you have some understanding.
Talk to them and explain it wasn't your intention to get that guy to like you it was to help your friend. Ask them why they are growing apart from them.. have a heart to heart.
Help them to be more confident and out there like you. Tell them you value their friendship they could be feeling like you are too "cool"for them.
Ask them what's going on
Don't patronize them but ask how they are feeling what they think of you to be honest with you.
If they don't want to listen to you or stay friends with you well they are being immature and need to figure out how to overcome their insecurities.
In that case it's time for you to move on as hard as that can be. If they are true friends after you all sit down and talk get emotions and stuff out there then things should be fine.
Hope this helped..If you have anymore questions please feel free to inbox me :)
Much <3
Jess 17/f
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