Juicygirl's advice column

Not sure about something a decision? Need more insight? Have some questions about sex? You should feel free to ask me about anything at all. I check my email all the time and I'll try to respond as soon as possible!

advice

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I have never gone tanning and I'm kind of confused. I'm not really comftrable with people seeing my body and such, so how is it like?? Is each tanning bed in one room or all together? Do I use lotion? Any tips. Thanks a lot. I have gone mystic tanning but I can't go now.

I admit i'm a fake bake fanatic. It's a quick and easy way to get a tan since the course load i'm taking on this year leaves me little or no time. And i can tell you i'm not the only one stuck on this latest trend; it's normal to see girls walking around with a mid summer tan during winter! Even so i highly recommend you skip the beds and hit the beach. Tanning in general causes damage to skin cells and leads to problems later in life such as skin cancer and aging so rub on that sun lotion as often as you can.

Here's some facts about tanning beds:

Fake baking is a $2 billion-a-year industry in the United States.

It is NOT a healthy alternative to suntanning. (especially since the UV rays are hitting directly onto your skin 5 inches away)

Ask the experts at the tanning place how long you should tan for, since skin types and colors may vary the time.

Most people tan weekly at an average of $9 for a standard session. ($469 a year)

Tanning beds can cause the three main skin cancers: basal cell carcinoma, squamous cell carcinoma and melanoma.

tanning lotions wwill accellerate the your tan time and prevent burning. It also moisturizes and prevents cell breakdown.

salon tanners were up to two and a half times more likely to get skin cancer than people who had never tried indoor tanning techniques.

For each decade earlier that you do it, your skin-cancer risk climbs by 10 to 20 percent

Tanning salons usually offer discounts for regular bakers. Admittance comes in one time only (up to 30 minutes on the bed), all-you-can-tan (weekly, monthly, season passes), and some even offer yearly. The tanning salons on campus are a lot cheaper ($3-4 per session) than the ones off campus. The ones on campus don't change their bulbs and god knows whos been on there before you. Fortunately, there's one about 7 minutes off campus and i can pick up a chai latte on my way there :)

Tanning salons SHOULD be offering individual rooms for each person allowing you to go au natural (avoiding those skanky bikini tattoos) and they should offer you a one time use DISPOSABLE bikini and eye protective wear.

In the end it's your body, your choice.

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Me and my boyfriend just broke up last night well were taking a "break"and he says he still loves me and still want to go back out but he says he need time { HE SAYS ABOUT A WEEK}to "clear his head". It was both of our decision but I dont get what you guy idea of taking a break is. So all you guys out there can u tell me? Im really confused!!!

*SKATERGIRL15* HELP !!!!!

The basic idea of taking a break is a guy's way of saying he wants to break-up but incase his fall out plan doesn't work out he wants to make sure you're still going to be available for make up. I would suggest breaking up with him because you deserve with balls to be straight about something that's bothering him and not fool with your emotions. In all, he's playing off of your confusion and your lack of understanding what a "break" is, against you. Ditch him. And get juicy case to match.

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I want to tone my legs but I don't have any equipment or money and when I go on toneteen.com I don't know if it tones or just works it. Where can I find a website with that helpful infomation? I would prefer if it had demonstrative pictures.

equipment schmitment. If they tell you you need barbells in all colors of the rainbow, yoga mat, ankle weights, medicine ball, a jog suit, and a dance studio you're probably looking at the wrong site. When I need to tone up for the beach I usually sneak off to a pilate session or two with with a small group of friends.

As you know squats help work your hamstrings in quads, not equipment needed. http://www.treeoffitness.com/Photos/Squats%202.jpg
1. when standing, spread your legs out but not past your shoulderwidth.
2.Cross your arms in front of your chest
3. slowly lower your bottom as if you were about to sit in a chair, making sure your knees don't jut out beyond your toes
4.Keep your head up and your back straight, and exhale as you stand up.
5.straighten your legs completely, but don't lock your knees.
6. Shoot for 20-25 and work your way up

Deadman Lift. What it works: Calves. (Unfortunately I couldn't find any pictures of this but if you have any questions send me a question on my advice column)

1. Stand making sure your feet are not past shoulderwidth.
2. you should loosen your upper body, and lean forward SLIGHTLY as if your upper body were dead, hence the name. Make sure you are looking down.
3. Slowly lift off the heels of your feet and hold for 3 seconds.
4. slowly roll back onto your heels.
5. Shoot for 20-25 and work your way up.

Inner Thigh Lift. What it works: It's designed to work out your inner thighs but works on your outer thighs as well. ((this is the best picture i could find of it: http://www.mothernature.com/images/library/books/PeakCond/Skate-1b.GIF))
Make sure you're on carpet or drape your bed covers on the floor for this one.

1. Lie on your right side with your body in a straight line
2. You can rest your head on top of your right arm which should be flat on the floor.
3. Keeping your right leg straight, slowly bend your left leg and place your left foot on the floor in front of your right leg.
4.Holding onto your left ankle, SLOWLY (3 counts) raise your right leg a few inches off the ground.
5. SLOWLY lower your right leg back down 3 counts.
6. Shoot for 30-33 times and work your way up. (I'm doing about 75-100 reps)

IMPORTANT: be sure to stretch out your legs before and after you try these exercises. The reason it's so important is you will hurt, pull, sprain, etc. a muscle if you don't stretch out your muscles beforehand. This has happened to several lazy friends of mines so don't let it happen to you. Remember to stretch out your legs afterwards to make sure your new legs look tone and long (makes the muscles grow long rather than in clumps). So streeeetch!

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ok, well i just got my period like 3 monts ago so my boobs are growing [ i can tell the defference ] but like i dont wanna wear sports bras or nothing but im to small for cups so is there any other ways to maybe wear somthing to make them look bigger or anything ?

Aren't you a bit young too be worrying about that? The problem with sports bras is the material's too thin to add any padding without noticable lines against your t shirt. Anyway i suggest a push up with lots of padding. Just hop to your nearest Victoria Secret and they'll help you out. Don't worry about being embarrassed to ask the salesperson, they're there to help you out and they get those kind of questions everyday (including helping you find your size). Victoria Secret runs lines ranging from AAA to DD and their VS body line is comfortable and has reasonable padding already. If you still want to add on, you'll have to buy special paddings made to connect to your bra. If you're making the whole sports to bras switch, you have to make sure that unlike your sports bras which you can just toss in the laundry machine, regular ones either have to be handwashed or put in handwash mode. If you put them in regular wash with the rest of your clothes it'll wear out quickly.

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My little sister is almost 13 (I'm 16) and is in the 7th grade. She got this boyfriend over the summer, some guy who's in her math class, and she really likes talking about him. I'm starting to worry about her. Is this age-appropriate? I'm homeschool because I'm blind, so I don't know about these things.

Yes that's a perfectly normal age for children to develop sexual emotions. Puberty starts in children as young as 10. Especially the constant rush in society engage in these sexual emotions and to imitate sex plastered schoolgirls' books and walls. We've all gone through the celebrity heartthrob age and then onto your bad boys in the form of your High school star quarterback or the meathead frat boy you met taking shots (or was that just me?). Now your sister's boyfriend whom she met in math class doesn't seem so bad anymore does he? If she's enjoys talking and sharing information about her new boyfriend, that's a good sign. It means she's not embarrassed (signaling immaturity) or has anything important to hide (which means she recognizes warning signs in her new toy). She's only in grade school so you have nothing to worry about. It's only natural for puppy love and crushes to develop as hormones are on a rage during puberty. Any further cause for concern you can discuss with her or with a parent.

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Do any of you guys know if the sicky cup things that you can wear as a bra work?? I am going out to dinner tomorow night with my boyfriend and the shirt that I have has one of those dipped tops, with a little slit that goes in between my boobs. All of the bras that I own show in the middle of my chest, and I dont want that. has any body actually tried those things?? I dont want my boobs to look all lopsided and funny, and I dont want one to pop off and roll away during dinner...HELP!!!!

The stick bras work fine for me but one of my friends (with much larger breasts) reported that it's not very good support and gives her the dreaded droop. I've used stick bras a lot for strapless tops and whenever i wear anything backless, low cut, etc. and it's never fallen off for me.

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Is it ok to have an orgasm while ur on ur period?

Of course it is. It helps ease cramps too! But remember to stay safe because you can still get pregnant while having your period and transfer or receive a STD from your partner.

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Here's the deal;; My parents have always kept a good eye on me, and I love them, but they've always held on a little too tight. I mean, my parents still dont usually let me go to the movies at night with my friends!

My friend Sarah has a boyfriend that her mother used to not let her see because ...they moved too fast and she knew it. Her mom even got a restraining order against him for the next four years! But out of nowwhere this year, her mom decided that they could see each other again.

Since I've always been held on a tight leash, and my mom knew about Sarah and her boyfriend, I can't go anywhere where he is. Now since it's the school year, my friends all go to the movies everry friday night.......and Sarah brings her boyfriend. I've always been honost with my mom, but when I asked her if I could go to the movies, I mentioned that Sarah's boyfriend was going, and she said N-O. But it's not even about this, my parents have always normally said I couldn't do stuff with my friends at night, since they feel it's "unsafe". I want to be honost with my parents, but It'd be so much easier if I left little details of my plans out. I don't want to though, but I'm so sick of getting left behind while all of my friends go out and have fun on friday nights and I'm stuck at home, I mean, I'm 14! That's a reasonable age, I feel.

What can I do to let my parents a.) loosen up b.)let me be around sarah when her b/f is around

Please help me! It's starting to drive me c-r-a-z-y!

If anyone is actually willing to listen to the whole story (yes, it's longer than this) please leave your screen name. It's really upsetting me now because I'm worried they NEVER let me do ANYTHING :[.

x0 Ally.

Ally think about what you said for a second. This is a site where you ask for advice, not complain about your parents decisions, which you know are right. Your parents have a perfectly good reason , and more , to stop you from attending the movies on a Friday night, unsupervised, in the company of a friend who doesn't make good decisions, her boyfriend who previously had a restraining order that was suddenly taken back, and for god's sakes you're 14. That's a reasonable age... for what? All age guarentees is more responsibilities for yourself and to yourself. If you already know Sarah and her boyfriend "moved too fast" then why would you think it'd be a good idea to be around them when they're spending time with eachother? Your parents aren't keeping you on a tight leash just because they want you safe and not get involved with whatever is going on between Sarah, her boyfriend, and her family. If you were to, say, go to the movies on a friday night with Sarah and your friends to have fun I'm sure that would "loosen" them up and make them less concerned for your safety.

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I want to express my feelings to one of my guy friends. Ive known him for about one month now. We say i love you all the time but i dont think he means it like i do. i dont want to sound to desperate so what do i say?? or should i get a friend to do it? or write him a note. Im kinda shy.

This is what I don't understand, there is nothing desperate about anything you just said in your question. My girlfriends (men included) and I say it all the time so hopefully i don't have to worry about sending any romantic signals to my PP sorority girls. In other words your guy friend probably assumes this is perfectly normal and just shows that he cares about you.. as a friend. Another reason might be, if you said i love you to him and he had no response or took it for what it isn't then it might end up awkward and he might be embarrassed. I can understand your confusion since those intimate words can be interpreted in any way. From what it looks like, your status is just friends who are comfortable with letting the other person know they care. But really, one month is too little time to tell what you truly feel about the other person, especially not enough time to be using those words when you don't even know that person well. I suggest getting to know him better before acting on those feelings. If you do decide to pursue it, never ever ever let a friend play scout or write it in a note, email, instant message, whatever. Friends can't express your feelings as well as you can. If you think writing a note it shows you're not yet mature enough to interpret these feelings. Both ways make your confession sound insincere and makes your lack of confidence bleed through.

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what is a hymen and how is it broken??

Common misconceptions: a hymen can be "broken", a hymen is located outside the vagina, and a guy can tell if you're a virgin or not from the presence or absence of a hymen.

If you heard any of the above it is ALL false.

A hymen is a thin layer of lets say skin located outside your vagina. Sometimes you might not have one at all. A hymen can be torn, not broken, when playing sports, masturbation, rough play, or sexual intercourse with someone who has a larger penis, therefore you cannot determine if a girl is not a virgin just because they are missing or have a torn hymen. Just don't worry about it, it is not noticable and its not a painful experience. If you need more information, it is included in a previous post on my column.

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can a guy tell while having sex with you if you were a virgin before he had sex with you?

Your partner will most likely not be able to tell whether you're a virgin or not or even likely care, he is getting some after all. Sex is always more inclined to be painful rather than pleasurable for both partners when you are not active or rarely have sex. Yes there is such thing as a hymen (thin layer of tissue outside the vagina) and it might tear during sexual intercourse but it is hardly noticable and there is none or little pain. The hymen is usually so flexible it will never tear, even after years of being active. This is because when you have sex your hymen stretches with you but it has its boundaries. It might tear after a wild session or a partner with a larger penis. THE PRESENCE OR ABSENCE OF A HYMEN IN NO WAY INDICATES WHETHER OR NOT A FEMALE IS A VIRGIN! Hope this gives you enough information to answer your question, but remember its better to be honest and most of all safe with your partner if you decide to become active.

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Alright, I'm a girl who just started shaving her legs...and anyways how often do you change your blade? I have no idea! O've had it for about 1 monthes..which seems REALLY long...please tell me I need riiiiiiiight away

hehe I had the same problem as you, one month is definitely too long to be using the same razor. The razor I personally love is the new vibrance by gilette but a Venus/Gilette works just as well. Most of the time you should change your razor heads weeky and (optional) change your stick every month to every other month. I would suggest changing it every other week since a good razor like Venus doesn't wear out that quickly. Remember shaving foam works best and hair conditioner as a substitute if you've just run out.

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I'm a Junior (16) and male. Never had a girlfriend; i'm the outspoken-nerd stereotype. Somehow everybody thinks I have a social life, don't know where they got that idea.
Anyway, there's this girl (we'll call her Kylie). She's heavily into music theatre (as am I), and we're both pretty good, so that's plenty of starting ground. To say I have feelings for her would be an understatement. At this point, I get lost. I don't know where to go from here because I've never had a girlfriend before and don't really know exactly what the procedure is (if there even is one). I've (perhaps unwisely) tried to keep my distance while remaining friendly as I've had too many experience getting on the "friends" list for life. In addition, I am really (really) scared of hurting her. She means the world to me, and I don't use that phrase lightly. A positive comment can literally make my day.

Anyway, I guess I need to know what to do from here. Some specific examples would be nice... what has worked for you. Keep in mind that I'm not at all the agressive type. It would be best for any action on my part to be able to be interpereted several different ways, that way if I determine no interest I can feign some other excuse. Basically, anything that reveals my feelings without really revealing my feelings (as stupid as that sounds). Should I just become her friend and hope I don't get shoved in the friends abiss? I also want to go slowly. Very, very slowly, because I am about scared half to death here. Help me out!

Any thoughts?

Hi again john, this is Juicygirl from IRC. I hope you did your homework! Can't wait to talk to you again tonight, if my girls don't drag me out. You're gonna have to give me a little more details on your relations with Kylie. I don't understand, is your usual greetings more polite-acquaintence, or on a closer level? If its like a quick "hey; hey" then you need to wave her down and swiftly put an arm around her shoulder (casually!) and say "hey Kyl, hows it going, i was hopin to run into you". Ask her if shes attending any school events such as a football game or a dance. If not encourage her to come and say "im countin on seeing you there". This is VERY very important as this takes it up a step to an arranged meeting hinting that you're looking for a BIT more than too common Hey Buddies because almost all the time that slowly makes it stale and die out. Also, it is making you stand out in her day (or week) which is exactly what you need right now. Anyway let me know how it turns out! Keep me updated!

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I just started going out with this guy and it already seems like he's losing *some* interest in me. I think it's mainly because I'm not enthusiastic or flirty as he is. What are some things I can do to spice it up and show him I really do like him? (besides tickling.)

Well to put a little spif in that spark you actually need things in common. If you stand (or sit) there like a wooden block while he's working his puppy love on you, then he might as well chat up the rest of us girls. What I suggest is to chat him up, to make sure you're on the same vibe. Obvious topics are music, and be sure to ask him if he's on any sports teams or let him know when your next game is. He must have seen something in you that made you stand out from the crowd if he chose you out of anyone else. To maintain that spark and to let loverboy know he's still got you on your toes try not so obvious signs such as putting your hand on top of his, which psychologically makes him rekindle those first fluttery feelings of a new crush, or sliding your hand under his, triggering his instincts to slap on a shining armour. When you say good bye to your sweety after a date variate your kiss to something different like lingering on his upper or bottom lip. Or if you're around friends, a manipulated hug will do, too. Press your hand onto his upper back when you're hugging him, releasing the happy hormones and linger on for a bit longer. Or when you're walking together wrap your arm around his abdomen, not his love handles, guys can get as self-concious as we do. Another less than subtle move is placing your hand on a body part that turns you on to him the most and compliment him. (this could be your favorite one of his polos too.) See? being fun and interesting and expressing your hot-for-him feelings don't have to be in the form of a suggestive joke or the oh-god-no PDA. Thought throwing in some suggestive comments or jokes that only you both are familiar with helps. Be enthusiastic just dont over do it. Soon you may find him blushing and at lost of words.
--Juicygirl

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Okay, for starters, I'm 30, male.
I've been with my girlfriend for over 6 years, she's such a sweet person and I love her, but you know the excitement of the beginning has faded.

Now there's this girl, she's our common friend and she's amazingly beautiful, she's something special. What's amazing is that she never had a stable relationship although she certainly would like to.
Now I feel something changing inside me, my way of thinking about this other girl; can it be love? I don't really know, because we're pretty different and I don't think we could have a durable relationship, but somehow I feel an overwhelming attraction for her, and I DO know sex with her would be incredible.

Being such a sensitive person as I am, I am going through a horrible time, the only thing positive being my loss of appetite; my gf has noticed it and I and I have more or less dismissed it as a temporary situaton because of work, friends and all (it's been a hard year in those aspects), but she's probably thinking there may be a relationship problem behind this.

Now what to do? Shall I tell her? this could destroy our friendship, and I would really regret that (I guess it depends on how sympathetic and understanding a person you are), but I know I could give her some of the love and attention she deserves... I am also thinking about telling my girlfriend, she deserves sincerity, but who knows where this could bring us... At the moment I am thinking about telling the other girl, just to get it off my chest; she will probably reject me, but keeping it inside is hurting me. Telling my gf is in my mind too, but I'm not sure about it.

I can't help but feel this mixture of love and attraction/lust for her, and it's killing me. I don't believe denying it would rid me completely of her. I guess you can love two people at the same time, though I never thought I'd be in this situation myself. Damn, damn heart...

First off what I've noticed is your relationship lost the feel-good tingles of balled-up panties in sheets early mornings. Basically sex has gone bland. Secondly, you're lusting after a girl that you're afraid won't be as optimistic about your new escalating feelings as you are but you don't want to break it off with your girlfriend because you don't want take the max bet without knowing your stakes. Let me ask you a question, when do you plan on breaking it off with your girlfriend already? "She's such a sweet person and I love her", signals you're continuing to take one for the ball team and the love you think you're feeling is descending to failure.

If you think this you and your girlfriend could still work, hey, stop reading right now, but it wouldn't hurt to consider your options. There's several ways of going about this and all the ways is or will eventually inflict serious damage on your relationship. Your girlfriend has already confronted you about it in a passive way. If you don't let her know something is wrong already this will just keep biting you in the arse throughout your relationship. So far it doesn't seem as if this bond was meant to last and sex is the least of your problems. Following this step assures two things: your girlfriend will know what is oging on and give her insight on it. You might also be able to "work it out" and tweak the mishaps if you dodge the dishes and avoid the rear bumper of her car. Try and explain to her how you're feeling and if you do or do not think this is oging to work out. I strongly suggest that you should just try to do damage control because it seems as if your relationship lacks the communication and understanding that would be able to patch things up again. If it does work out then you both will end up strengthened by this experience and hopefully make communication a regular exercise. (for the future too.)

Another way is pulling a prick, and hit and ditch. Remember, the truth will come out eventually and you better be ready when all hell breaks loose. This is assuming that it is just lust that is stopping you from a fulfilling relationship with your girlfriend. Doing so will not solve the problem but delay it further and take it to a whole new level.

A strong and true relationship should be able to overcome all odds and excitement should not be bound to the bedroom. Overall this should be a lesson to you and all, don't let lust be a reason for untimely decisions.

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