about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

What do you think is the average age to get your first kiss?

It depends a lot on your attitude. I agree 100% with Cj. Don't be pressured into getting your first kiss because if you are, you will regret it. It will happen when it happens and it will be wonderful no matter what age you are. I was 18 and a half when I got mine and I am very, very happy that I waited. Don't worry so much about it. Some people get their first kiss when they're 9 and some don't get it until they're 29. There isn't really a good average because it's such a wide range of ages.

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okay! ahh! so i haven't kissed anyone before. and so one day this weekend the guy i like and me are going to make out. i'm scared, is there anything i can do to prepare? but like eh, how do you? and does it REALLY come naturally?
any tips are great :)

It will help a lot if the guy knows that it's your first time making out. He will be more understanding if you're not really great at it just yet and he may even give you some tips. Don't worry so much though, you'll learn fast and it should come pretty naturally. Good luck and remember to be safe. Be prepared to turn him down if he tries to go too far.

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Do you guys have ANY ideas on what to buy or make my BEST friend for her birthday?! I want it to be special, but I can't think of anything! Please help.

Best friend neckaces! They usually come in the shape of a heart broken in half. One side says "best", the other says "friends". The two pieces put together make a heart. I have one and it's really special to me. I'm not that close with the girl anymore, but when I look at the necklace or wear it, it makes me think of all the great memories we shared. Best friend necklaces are a great keepsake and not too expensive. I'm sure that she'll love whatever you decide to get her, don't worry!

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my parents are way too overprotected. yea everyones are, but mine take it too literally. im in 10th grade and havent done things most middle schoolers have already. ive never drank, smoked, or done anything with a guy... i dont want to drink or smoke.. but having a boyfriend would be nice. my parents only let me out of the house for school, sports, and babysitting. if i want to go somewhere else they have to have a list of names, phone numbers, addresses,... you get the point. even if its just across the street. and i have to call them every hour while im out. not that i go out alot because they dont let me and i have to fight if i really want to go. how can i gain their trust when they wont listen to me when i try to talk to them about it? ugh im just so frustrated.

My advice is to obey their rules. Start going out more often, but make sure you do what they want. After awhile you will gain their trust and they may give you some more freedom. That's the best way to go. Parents aren't stupid. If you lie to them they'll know. You've already tried talking to them about it and if you do it too much they'll think that you're up to something, which you're definitely not. I think it's just that you haven't gone out much before, so they have nothing to base their trust on. You need to build up their trust by following their rules. As much as this really stinks it's what you're going to have to do if you want to make any progress. Good luck.

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ok.. so i know this isnt good. but the other day i had a really low self-esteme and i took painkillers.. how many would like really harm me because im worried..

Well, since it was the other day and nothing has happened yet, you're probably fine. My guess would be that more than 6 will give you problems. You should have told someone about what you did. It's really dangerous and what if something had happened to you? You could have gone unconscious, stopped breating, had a heart attack, all kinds of life threatening stuff. Taking pain killers is not the way to go at all, but I'm sure you know that and everything. Just don't do it again. Find a different way to deal with what you're going through. Exercise is actually a proven way to reduce stress. When you exercise certain chemicals are realeased that help you relax. Whenever I get upset I go for a jog. It helps a lot. I hope you feel better about yourself really soon and good luck!

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OK...soo well i've always been pretty close with my boyfriends mom. and well now i dont know what to think. she's never really seen me and her son do anything. but last night she saw me on top of him making out in the hottub...and i dont know whatelse she saw.
is there anything i can do that would hopefully make her not think im a slut and stuff like that? becuase right now she donest think to highly of me

You were just making out! She must have expected that you two kissed. You are dating. I don't think you have to say or do anything about it. There's nothing to say. You don't have to explain what happened, justify your actions, or apologize. What else would there be to say? She saw you two making out and that's that. She doesn't think you're a slut. She would only think that if she caught you with someone else! If she had a problem with it, which I doubt she does, she would say something to her son about it, not you. You have nothing to worry about. Think of it this way. If you walked in on two of your friends making out that you knew were dating, yes it would be weird and probably something you wouldn't have wanted to see, but you wouldn't really think anything of it. Don't worry about your boyfriend's mom. I'll bet she's cool with it. Just pretend like it never happened. Good luck with your boyfriend!

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Sometimes... I feel so chubby.

Well, like most young teenagers, I'm obsessed with my weight and staying healthy. Actually, it's not exactly my weight... It's just that I look kind of fat. I'm 14 years old... I stand at 5' 1" and I weigh just about 105 pounds... I never thought that I was over-weight (but am I?)... It's just I look fatter than how much I really weigh. Is that even normal? Does that even make sense?(o.O) My friends are always telling me I look fine and that I'm "skinny" but I know they're just saying that so I won't feel bad. A lot of my friends weigh more than me and are taller than me... but they look more... normal. Sometimes I just think I'm insecure... or something... Should I exercise more often? Should I try to lose just a little weight? Or am I just going crazy?

Thanks...

The way you see yourself is different than you see other people. Even when you look in a mirror, you're looking from a different perspective. I have a suggestion for you! I saw Paula Abdul on TV talking about anorexia once. I realize you're not anorexic, but I think that this will help you. Anyways, Paula was anorexic and one of the things she did to get over it was have someone trace her onto a sheet of paper. She then got to see how small she really was from the same perspective as she looked at other people. I really think that this is something that you should do. It will help you a lot!Sidewalk chalk will work too :)

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I can wear 32A or 32B, but most stores don't carry size 32, they usually start at 34. Does anyone know where I can get a nice push-up, cleavage-enhancing, curve-enhancing bra in size 32A or 32B for under $30? I've tried Target, Kohls, and Macy's, but I didn't find any I liked. and I'm pretty sure Victoria's Secret bras start at size 34. Any help would be much appreciated :)

Yes, try looking in the junior's or kids section. I'm not very blessed up there either and I have a hard time finding bras that are small enough too. I've gotten them from the kids section before. Kids sizes go from 30A to 36A I believe, so you should be able to find something that will fit there. It feels weird looking there at first, but hey, you need it to fit and it's not a kids bra. It's just a size. I hope I helped you and good luck!

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Hey, I'm 17/f
I was just wondering... how can you tell if you are in love? Are there signals he'll send you? I need any kind of advice because I think I'm in love but I'm not sure.

Thanks in advance!

Well, if you think you are then you probably are! Saying "I love you" shouldn't be as big of a deal as it is. You can feel love for someone at any time and your feelings can always change. My guess is that since you are questioning it that you do love him. To love somebody doesn't mean loving everything about them either so keep that in mind. Everyone has their own definition of love and over time they can come up with ways to tell if they love someone. What you need to do is think of someone that you love (like a parent) and someone that you don't. Try to come up with something that makes your feelings for those two people different. This little trick is different for everyone, but I can give you a few ideas. The way that I tell if I love someone is if I feel comfortable being alone with them. There's more to it than that, but that is basically what I ask myself when I get confused about love. Someone else I know decides by imagining he was stranded on an island. If he would eat the person to stay alive then he doesn't love them. Creepy, but it does kind of work. Don't try it with too many people in a row though because you'll get really weirded out. Eventually, you should come up with your own way of telling. I hope that I helped you and good luck!

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Okay background info first:
Im 15 and female
I have a wonderful boyfriend of about 6 months

Well heres the thing. I have a really bad way of handling stress. I mean it makes me physically and mentally ill. I can't control it and never really was able to. Ive been to doctors and ect to get it undercontrol but nothing is seeming to help.

My boyfriend is a guy who is just something else. Ive never met anyone like him and he means everything to me inside. The thing is for a little while now it seems like i havent been acting my old self. Like our relationship is heading downhill. We talked about it and was considering taking a break but tears just answered that. I didn't want that. I need to no how to be able to control my stress so our love life could be better. Sex is never the same because im alwasy tired and/or just don't feel like it. When we do have sex though its amazing, so its not like its him.

Im not sure what to do. Ending our relationship is not an option. Please any advice would help!!

I think I know what you two need. Go to Amazon.com and purchase "1000 Questions For Couples". They e-mail it to you and it's $14 or so. It's a great way to get closer to your partner no matter what age or point in a relationship that you are. I have it and I'd send it to you, but it's got some weird block on it and I'm not sure how to get around it. I think what you two need is to just relax and enjoy being in love with one another. This "book" should help a lot. Good luck.

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hey last year i was a size kids 12 in bathing suits. i usually go up a size every year. so that means this year i will be a size kids 14. i am interesting in these two bathing suits. but they are juniors not kids. i am wondering if i get a size xsmall if it will fit a size kids 14 girl. i rate 5s to all answers. by the way 13/f. here are the sites. http://www.kohls.com/products/product_page_multiple2.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=286072859&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=17674123&bmUID=1140310999571 and http://www.kohls.com/products/product_page_multiple2.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=286072859&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=17674123&bmUID=1140310999571 ♥

Okay...I guess I'll apologize for trying to help...um sizes don't vary that much from brand to brand. Your body varies from other people much more than a bathing suit size could. It's impossible for anyone here to tell you what size is yours. You really should try some bathing suits on. That is the most accurate way to find out your size would be. It's not that hard to do, it doesn't cost anything, and it could help you. Please take my advice. It really will help. Also, don't bash people that are trying to help you. I could care what you say to me, but if you had done that to someone else you could really have hurt their feelings and for what? You gain nothing by being cruel.

What you should do is go to a store and try on a size XS and a size S. It doesn't matter what store or what the bathing suit looks like because you won't be buying it. Trying something on is the best way to figure out what size you are! Good luck.

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i go to a tanning salon before dances, and i've been going every other day for about 3 weeks. i've been using the same lotion for about 3 weeks also. i went tanning yesterday, and today i woke up with these little bumps all over my thighs and stomach. they aren't red, but they are itchy and you can feel them if you run your hand over my skin. i'm not sure what they are - is it sunpoisioning from tanning too often? or maybe im allergic to the lotion? but i used it all over my body and there are only bumps on my thighs and stomach. what could this be?

Wow, you are tanning way too much! Aren't you afraid that you're going to get skin cancer? You can keep a good tan from only going once a week or even less. Please don't tan so often. It's not necessary and look what it's doing to your body! It definitely sounds like "sun" poisoning to me. That's not good at all. Put lots of lotion on the bumps and don't go back tanning again right after they go away. I don't think you should tan for awhile. What you're doing is really bad for your body. It's one thing to get a little color and look nice, but it's quite another to go every other day. Again, that's way too much. Try to be a little more careful and good luck.

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hi, im almost 16 and ive never been kissed and never had a boyfriend...is this as bad as it seems?...and not jus girls points of veiw plz. ive had chances but never made anything of them...am i that big of a loser, i think that im attractive and im smart and a good person so whats wrong?will rate high!!!!all 5's

Wow, you're lucky. I didn't even get a chance until I was 18! Don't sweat it. It's good that you're not getting down and dirty with every guy you possibly can. You're saving your first kiss for someone that you love, which is awesome. There are people out there that don't even get their first boyfriends until college. Don't worry so much, your opportunity will come. I hope you feel better and good luck!

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I am curious as to what people think are million dollar ideas, how would you make a million dollars? Perhaps you have an idea that you could make a lot of money because people need it because of a really big lack or? I really am interested in anyones "BIG" ideas. i rate high for good ideas, and it can be anything but please explain what is so good about it and why you think it would make a lot of money.

This is a cool question. Well I think the best way to make a lot of money is to create a product and patent it. Remember that girl that made some microwavable bacon cooker for a school project? She made tons of money off of that. I'm not into this sort of thing but I do have a great idea for all you inventors out there. You know how earbuds allow two people to listen to the same music? I always thought it was so annoying to have it in one ear. Wouldn't it be great if they made quad earbuds or double headphones? Seriously I think a lot of people would buy them. It would just be two pairs of headphones that both plugged into whatever you were listening to. Just a thought. Anyways, good luck to you and let me know when you make your first million! ;-)

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Omg. I just saw this huge flock of birds in my backyard. I can't tell what they are. The are bigger than ducks but smaller than turkeys. They are brown, have flaps of skin on their chins, and iridescent wings and tails. They fly. What could these be?

Where do you live? That would help a lot. It makes a big difference if you're from Australia, Japan, or Canada. Different birds live in different places and you didn't give a good enough description for someone to come up with the correct answer from all the birds that live in the entire world. So please add where you're from to your question and I'll see what I can do.

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Lord help me.

I am a 13 year old girl, and for a while, I considered myself "straight." Now, I'm really freaked out. I have a big crush on my lesbian English teacher (FYI, she's made it public that she's a lebian---I'm not just assuming). I'm so scared. Having a crush on a teacher is bad enough, and on a female teacher is awful. Mind you, I don't have a discrimination against homosexuals, but I don't like to think of myself liking someone of the same sex. I feel like such a creep. Does this make me a lesbian as well? I mean, I've liked only guys of my own age (but those were huge, long-term crushes), but still...I am so scared.

If anyone at school finds out about this, my life is over.

~Stella Luna~

A lot of the time people like other people because they like them. Lets say you found out that someone by the name of George had a crush on you. You'd view him differently and think of him in a different way. You may end up having feelings for him, but what would have happened if you didn't know that he liked you? Probably nothing. You didn't have a crush on George. All that happened was that you found out he liked you. Going from that, you just found out that your teacher likes girls. I'm in no way implying that she likes you, but in your mind, something has changed about her. You are looking at her in a different way and you are mistaking your changed perception about her for a crush. It's almost like you have put her in the "datable" or "guy" category of your mind. What if you found out that a guy you had a crush on was gay? You'd likely stop liking him and put him in the "girl" or "undatable" category of your mind. So what happened to the crush? You mistook your changed perception of the guy for not having a crush on him anymore. Ever had a dream about kissing or doing something like that with someone that you didn't like? Just because you're thinking about it doesn't mean that it's true! I hope that I didn't overly confuse you with all that. Liking a female teacher that's lesbian doesn't make you a lesbian. This is the time in your life where you will be figuring this kind of stuff out so naturally you should be thinking about it. Remember too, that even if you do end up being lesbian or bisexual, it's okay. Your life isn't over. There are lots of people out there that like the same sex and if you don't tell anyone no one will find out so nobody can pick on you. Eventually you'll have to let people know, but it's good to keep something like that to yourself for awhile. Other people your age aren't mature enough to handle that yet. I hope I helped you and good luck.

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I usually go on this website alot called habbohotel. And I know I have never given out my email address to anyone on there! EVER! But now on msn, this guy I knew off habbohotel is talking to me telling me I give him my hotmail address and I haven't its scary what should I do!

Before you block him from everything, think of this. If habbohotel doesn't give out your e-mail address, maybe it's someone that you know trying to freak you out. People do this to me all the time. They think it's funny. Even if it is someone you know, you should block them anyways. They can contact you in other ways that are more honest and a little less creepy. Also be aware that if you have your full name on habbohotel that he could have done a search for you. I made a hotmail account once and the name I used for it was "Lisa Anne". I put Anne as my last name when it's really my middle name because that is what I wanted to show up when I sent e-mails to other people. Not too long after I got the account someone e-mailed me thinking that my last name was Anne. They had done a search and were doing something with genealogy. So, it's not only important to keep your e-mail address secret, but don't give out your last name either. Good luck!

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let me explain :]

in december i got my period, and then a month later in January i got it on time. then, it came very lightly stwo weeks later, and two weeks later normally again. then after that (this month) it came again two weeks later but only for 3 days and very light. now, a week later, its coming again but heavy. Ive only had it for a year, and i know it may not be regular, but im still worried.

is this normal? I will rate!

No, I wouldn't say that this is normal. It's normal to have an irregular period, but if you're getting it every one or two weeks that is not a good sign. One of my friends, when she was younger, all of a sudden started getting her period every two weeks and had to have surgery because she had a hormone imbalance. I'm not saying that you need surgery, I just want to make sure you know that this could be a problem. I would say to wait another month or two and if it continues to come every two weeks or less you should talk to a doctor about it. There's nothing to worry about though, keep that in mind. It's not hurting you at all. I hope that your period gets back on track and good luck.

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I was planning on hosting a hockey pool party at my appartment but decided to cancel because it got back to me from one of my friends in the pool that two of the people in our pool had been backstabbing me and saying some really mean things about me behind my back. One of the things was that I was a flirt and deserved to be raped, or something mean like that. My friend wouldnt lie to me, so I confronted one of the guys that was saying this about me. I went into the restaurant he works in as a cook. I confronted him, first by saying, "I'm Cancelling My Hockey Pool Party". He wanted to know why, and then I said "because I'm tired of all the backstabbing". I also glared at him when I said this. Well this is how he reacted. Immediately after I said i was tired of all the backstabbing, he lost eye contact me eye, and turned his back to me. So my question is, is this a sign that he is guilty? I also told him what I heard he had been saying about me, and he never said that it wasnt true, but he did pin it all on the other friend of mine.

I think you need to relax. People say mean things about other people all the time. Don't let stuff bother you to the point where you're missing out on things. Yes, it was right to approach him, but don't cancel your party. It's okay to be mad, but don't overreact. It seems pretty childish to me to react the way you did every time anybody says anything mean about you. Does it really matter if one person in the world thinks that about you? You know it's not true so don't let it bother you so much. This guy isn't even your friend! He doesn't know you at all. Maybe you could use this as a chance to get to know each other and prove him wrong. "Do good to your enemies". It's hard, but it makes everything so much better in the long run. I really don't think that him turning around and stuff was a sure sign he was guilty. Maybe he just didn't want to get involved. He could have known who the person was that said it and didn't want everything to get blown out of proportion. Plus, even if he said it that doesn't mean that he meant it. Again, people say stuff all the time for all kinds of reasons. Please, please, don't make a big deal about this and tell everyone that the party is back on. Don't punish yourself and everyone else that was going to attend your party for one person's stupidity. Good luck!

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my boyfriend and i are both virgins. we have eben together for 7 months and well he wants me to go to a clinc and find out if i am alergic to latex..(spell) (the thing that condoms are made out off) and i am not alergic to anythin so i most likely arent. but idk what to say at the clinic (planned parenthood) and i dont know what they will do to find out if i am or not? can someone tell me? thanks.

Very few people are allergic to latex. It's an extremely small chance that you are. If your boyfriend is unrealisitically concerned you can find out without going to a clinic though. Ever heard of latex gloves? Yeah, just put those on for a little while. If you're allergic you'll get hives or a rash or something. In all likelihood you've worn them before too, so you may not even have to do that. I don't know how old you are, but please be careful if you do decide to have sex. Make sure that you know everything there is to know about the type of birth control you're using and that you know all the risks of having sex. Good luck!

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