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is he guilty of slandering me?
I was planning on hosting a hockey pool party at my appartment but decided to cancel because it got back to me from one of my friends in the pool that two of the people in our pool had been backstabbing me and saying some really mean things about me behind my back. One of the things was that I was a flirt and deserved to be raped, or something mean like that. My friend wouldnt lie to me, so I confronted one of the guys that was saying this about me. I went into the restaurant he works in as a cook. I confronted him, first by saying, "I'm Cancelling My Hockey Pool Party". He wanted to know why, and then I said "because I'm tired of all the backstabbing". I also glared at him when I said this. Well this is how he reacted. Immediately after I said i was tired of all the backstabbing, he lost eye contact me eye, and turned his back to me. So my question is, is this a sign that he is guilty? I also told him what I heard he had been saying about me, and he never said that it wasnt true, but he did pin it all on the other friend of mine.
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i dont understand the question. if youre asking if it seems like hes guilty- then thats sumthin i really cant tell you. you'd have to determine that by thinkin about what his body language was when you talked to him. hope i helped. spitfire9631@yahoo.com
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That's a truly terrible thing to say about someone and I'm very sorry this has happened to you.
The problem is, whether or not he maintained eye contact with you would never be enough proof on which to decide whether he did say this or not. After all, I expect you don't maintain eye contact right through all your conversations with people you speak to either. My point being, it could just be a coincidence.
But you know, who said it is really unimportant, although I can understand it's difficult to really believe that under the circumstances. Truth it, as you get older, there'll always be people who make petty and childish comments like this and the only way you'll get past them is if you learn to accept them at the face value they are. After all, if anyone who is a friend of yours was to hear it, they're hardly likely to let it pass by rather than defend you.
You need to go ahead and have the party and just let it go for now. There's no point chasing after the guy who did it because it doesn't mean he will stop and he may even use it as 'ammo' against you in the long run. So rise above their comments and remember that if they can't take the time to get to know you before making such unfathomabley cruel remarks, they're really not worth wasting precious time and energy on in the first place.
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I think you need to relax. People say mean things about other people all the time. Don't let stuff bother you to the point where you're missing out on things. Yes, it was right to approach him, but don't cancel your party. It's okay to be mad, but don't overreact. It seems pretty childish to me to react the way you did every time anybody says anything mean about you. Does it really matter if one person in the world thinks that about you? You know it's not true so don't let it bother you so much. This guy isn't even your friend! He doesn't know you at all. Maybe you could use this as a chance to get to know each other and prove him wrong. "Do good to your enemies". It's hard, but it makes everything so much better in the long run. I really don't think that him turning around and stuff was a sure sign he was guilty. Maybe he just didn't want to get involved. He could have known who the person was that said it and didn't want everything to get blown out of proportion. Plus, even if he said it that doesn't mean that he meant it. Again, people say stuff all the time for all kinds of reasons. Please, please, don't make a big deal about this and tell everyone that the party is back on. Don't punish yourself and everyone else that was going to attend your party for one person's stupidity. Good luck!
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