about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

1.)heey. im 13, my name is aubrey. well i have horrible period cramps, is there any way to get rid of them?

2.)what are some tips to help me stop bitting my nails?

3.)does anal sex hert, my bf wants to have it with me (16) and idk if it herts or not...


13, not a virgen... please dont call me a slut or tell me anything about his k thx!

♥`AUbREY`* ViNtAGExBARbiE_

Sometimes stretching and exercise will reduce cramps. There also medications that can help you if that's something you want to do and you are willing to talk to your doctor about. Personally, I stop biting my nails when they are painted. The paint tastes funny and I don't want it to look chipped or anything so I leave them alone. Anal sex hurts if you expect it to hurt. You have to be very relaxed and trust your boyfriend a lot to be able to do it at all. If you are relaxed enough and do enough foreplay it won't hurt at all. If you do decide that it's something that you want to do, make sure you use a condom and lubrication. That will help it go easier and keep you protected too, just in case. Make sure that you're using a condom every single time, that is so important. Good luck!

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I'm 13/f and I'm generally really thin. I weight 90lbs. My arms and legs are really long and skinny. But the problem is that my stomache bothers me soooo much. I realized yesturday when I was bending over that I have like three rolls. And I have one permanent crease! Is this normal? How can I get it to go away before summer? Am I fat? Any ideas or anyone who says anything that helps will really help me. I rate 5's to all. Thanks.

It's very normal. You're not fat at all. Quite the opposite. It's just that you're looking at it from above. Other people don't see you the way that you see yourself. The only think I can think of that might help is to do sit ups. Don't go crazy with them, but they could help to firm up your stomach a little. Good luck!

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What are the pills you take to make you have your period 4 times a year? Does it make you bleed more? and does it make you gain weight easier?

They're pretty unhealthy for you and you'll have to get them perscribed to you so if you're serious about getting them you'll have to talk to your doctor anyway. I strongly suggest you don't do it, but that's between you and your doctor. Good luck.

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Hey. I've been a veggietarian for nine months now, and I've changed so much. I am so malnurished and I'm having like a million mental break downs. I've become really sad and angry. I wanted to stop being a veggie but its so hard! I wont eat meat or i'll start like crying...well not really but ill feel really sad and become moody. im also really malnaurished cause im allergic to a lot and cause im kosher. i need advise from a veggie or someone who once was one. thanx to anyone who can help! by the way...incase you wanna like address me in ur note back my names joey f/! thanx!!

xox

Being a vegetarian doesn't mean just not eating meat. If you do it that way it can be very dangerous. When you don't include meat in your diet you are not getting certain nutrients that your body needs. So, you have to work around that and make sure that you eat other foods that have those nutrients in them. You need to seek professional help on this one. Talk to a doctor or a nutritionist. This is very important. What you are doing is extremely unhealthy. I would also suggest buying some books and reading up on proper vegetarian diets online. Please set up an appointment with a doctor as soon as possible or you're going to end up very very sick! Good luck!

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Sorry, I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this under, it's kind of a mixture of love relationships & family ones.
(17/f) So anyways, I don't have a good relationship with my family. It's a tense, hostile situation, especially between my mom and I. I know this is characteristic of my age range, but the feeling of my family is that she has some mental issues that she needs to take care of, and that she's an extremely unreasonable person to work with. I'm graduating a year early and I'll be going to college in the fall. My mom doesn't know this yet, she's strongly opposed to me going until Spring which is out of the question, and the rest of my family agrees. I can't live in my household for another year after this. And this is where part of the problem comes in.
I've already talked to some people about the problems I've had with her, especially my boyfriend. He's very supportive, and I love him and trust him more than anyone. He's encouraged me to go and talk to my school's principal and director of pupil services to get some help with this, and it really has helped. But there have been some (note some, they're not frequent) abuse issues with my mom. I'm kind of reluctant to tell my boyfriend about those, because they're not huge and they're not frequent, and I don't want to have him worry too much. When these episodes occur they're upsetting, and my boyfriend has asked about the reasons for the upset, but I find that I haven't been able to tell him because I haven't found the words. Plus, I don't want any kid of authority to catch wind, because I still don't want a legal battle to ensue or to cause anything that will cut off ties with my family completely, especially since I'm leaving for college in six months.
So my questions are 1) How do I/should I tell my boyfriend about the abuse? 2)What should I do in regards to it?
Thanks, sorry it's so long.

You need to talk to someone about what your mother is doing to you. It's not good to keep those kinds of things bottled in. My suggestion would be to talk to a counselor at your school. Make sure it's confidential and that your mother can't be reported before saying anything. It will be really good for you to talk about it with someone. Telling your boyfriend isn't a good idea right now. Tell him when you are in college. You'll be away from your mother and more independant and free. He should know about it and it would be a good time to tell him when you are living at college. Abuse is not a good thing. You need to find a way to make it stop. Even though you'll be going to college soon, you don't need to suffer through any more abuse. They're not going to take you away from your mother or put her in jail. There's not going to be a "legal battle". You are practically an adult. Most likely, she'll just have to go to counseling since it doesn't seem like the abuse is severe. This could help her. She needs help just as much as you do. You have to deal with her the rest of your life. Having your school counselor or other professional report her or do something about it is a good thing for everyone. Abuse is abuse and it needs to stop. I really encourage you to get help and I wish you the best of luck. :)

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hmm ok well about a month or so ago i broke up with my bf cause i had some issues i needed to work out.well during that time we were apart he went out with this other girl,which is a whole other story, but anywho we're back together. him and his ex gf are still friends which doesnt really bother me all that much she seems like a cool girl but like whenever they talk on the phone i get soo i guess jealsous and i get this weird feeling . .i trust my bf and everything and i just dont know why i feel this way
or get this feeling ..i think she still has feelings for him. what should i do??

thanks in advance!

It's very natural to feel the way that you do about any ex that your boyfriend has. What I want you to think about though is, what difference does it make if she still has feelings for him? She should. You of all people should know that. He's a great guy. Great enough for you to be dating him. All girls should like him right? I'll bet a lot of them do. The thing is it doesn't matter if other girls like him. He is with you because he likes you. All that matters is that. You can feel jealous of his ex, but don't feel jealous because she likes him, feel jealous because she spent time being with him that you didn't. The jealousy will go away with time. There's not much you can actually do to feel better about all of this except just trust your boyfriend. He chose to be with you over all of the girls out there that like him. He chose to be with you after you even after you broke up with him. If he ever leaves you for someone it's his fault. Not the girl's fault. He's a jerk if he does that. There will always be girls out there that likes him. It's his choice what to do about it. My guess though, is that he won't do anything. It really seems like he likes you. I hope that you feel better and good luck!

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Alright, to start things off, I have been dating my current boyfriend for three years in May, and I love him very much.

But the thing is, I'm getting recurring feelings for my ex-boyfriend. We had been best friends forever, as long as I could remember, before I fell hard for him. I broke up with him because I suspected he didn't really like me--it turns out he did. Anyway, he now has a girlfriend. I feel like I still love him, and I can't remember whether I even really stopped loving him or not.

I don't want to hurt the guy I'm with, because I love him as well! I honestly don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

20/f

There's one question to ask yourself. Are you happy? If so don't change anything. Nothing at all. I think that you are happy. Right now you're just focusing too much on the what ifs. It's probably a phase. You'll always have some sort of feelings for your ex especially since he was your friend, but you're not with him anymore. You've found someone else that can make you feel the same way. Don't give up something that "is" for something that "was" or something that "could be". You could lose everything. Just focus on what makes you happy. If that involves hurting someone, well it's just what you've got to do. Don't go chasing after something you aren't sure you can get because again, you could lose everything. Keep what you've got. It sounds pretty good. A lot of people out there never find love. And you have it in your life. Don't let go of it like you did before or your trail of regret will be even longer. Good luck.

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14/f. my parents had a big christmas party in december, and they hired a blues band to come play. the guitarist in the band is good friends with another amazing guitarist who just turned 15, so the 15-year-old came and played too. he seems like a complete carbon copy of myself because we both love music (i play several instruments) and he isn't afraid to pour his heart out on stage. besides, he is uberly cute. i was too shy to talk to him when he was at my house, and he lives a long way away. in mid january i found his email address and sent him an email saying who i was and stuff like that. he sent me a message back in february that said hey there, etc. (in my email i told about my obsession with music, he commented on several things i said). i know that he has a myspace account, but i'm scared to add him as a friend because i don't want to seem like a stalker because i haven't even ever met him before! but my friends and i are convinced that i will marry him someday, so i have to do something. i know that i might see him in june/july, but i'm not sure. anyway, my question is, how stupid do you people think i am and what should i say to him the next time i see him? thanks, y'all. 5's for everybody.

Well who knows if you'll marry him that's jumping the gun a little. Don't pay attention to your friends. You seem to like him though so there's an okay possibility for a relationship. Don't expect anything because he doesn't know you that much. Keep e-mailing back and forth so you get to know each other and go ahead and add him as a friend on myspace. When you actually see him, flirt a lot and if he is flirting back admit to him that you like him. With a good timing and a little luck maybe something will come out of it. I hope I helped and good luck!

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I'm 5'8, 158 pounds, 15 years old, not active at all.

On this coming monday, im starting a diet which will hopefully help me lose 1 or 2 pounds a week, but I need to know if it will work. Here is my daily plan:

Breakfast: Honey bunches of oats cereal, 1% Milk
Lunch: Fruit salad, water
Supper: Anything my mom makes (healthy)

I will also be running on the treadmill for about 20 minutes at 4m/h. I've sort of been using the calorie-counting method.

Anyways, will I lose weight with this, or is it a waste of time? What can I change?

I don't know if just fruit salad for lunch is going to be very satisfying. Think of it this way. Dieting isn't about quantity, it's about quality. A good diet also has a little variety in it. Eat a decent portion of food and eat different kinds of foods. Just eat healthily. You may benefit from seeing a dietician or getting a book on dieting since you're new at this. More important than diet is exercise. The 20 minutes is a great idea. Splitting it into ten minute intervals isn't bad if you want to do that. If you do that however, you'll have to run faster than you would if you were doing it altogether and make your breaks short (5 minutes). Walking during your breaks would help too. You don't have to run for 30 minutes and honestly, exercise is exercise no matter how you look at it. You're not trying to get in shape, you're just trying to loose weight. Do what feels best for you. Good luck!

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I've had this tiny bump under my eyelid for a week or so. It's not painful or anything, but when I rub my fingers over my eyelid I can feel it. What could this be? Is it worth getting a doctor to check it out?

A calcium deposit maybe? I have no idea. Since it's not painful, there's no rush. I'd wait a week and if it doesn't go away or changes (gets bigger or starts to hurt) then you might as well go to a doctor just to be safe. Good luck!

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ok well to start off im 15 & a freshmen & i met this senior from my highschool right around a month ago & we started talkin. well now i really like him & he knows i do cause i finally jus flat out told him & he always brings that up to me. but i asked him if he liked me or not cuz at first he said he did but then when i asked him later on he was like 'well i dunno. so now i asked again recently cause it seemed like he did again, but he wont give me an answer. he calls me almost, if not every, night & we have fun talkin & stuff. & i get really anxious on the phone, & i hate talkin on it & he knows that. and he'd always rag on me about that, just jokingly. but ive kinda gotten over that since ive been talkin to him every night, & tonight he asked me if i still anxious about talkin to him, and when i said no he was like "yes!", like he was all happy. but at the same time hes always tellin me about these other girls who like him & these girls from his work & whatnot. and i dunno, my friends [who have never even met him] think hes jus usin me to get some, but hes never even tried anything w/ me, and weve never even hugged or anything. is that weird for a senior to like a freshmen? were only about 2.5 years apart in age, so it doesnt seem too bad, but at the same time it kinda does. & what can i say to him to finally just get a straight answer from him about stuff like this? cause everything ive tryed hasnt worked. :[

Your friends could be right. He's not using you for sex obviously, but he could be using you to make himself feel good about himself emotionally. He knows that you like him and he likes that. Think of it this way. There's a guy that's 3 grades apart from you. You know who he is, but you don't really know anything about him because of the age difference. You find out that he likes you. Suddenly you have this huge interest in him. It's natural. You don't necessarily like him, you're just very flattered and curious and it feels good to know that you are liked so you talk to him a lot. I've been used before in this way. If you throw yourself at a guy he's not going to say no. He's going to enjoy it the best he can. Sure he likes you and all, but don't expect a relationship. He's being a tease. I'm not saying a relationship can't happen, but if you expect it to you're going to be very hurt when it doesn't happen or he suddenly tells you that he's dating someone else. My guess is that he doesn't want to date you because he knows the relationship will be very hard in a few months when he's out of school and you're still in school. High school sweethearts very rarely end up staying together and he probably knows that. Just be careful and don't get too caught up with him. It would probably be best to stop talking to him so much. It'll save you at least some of the heartache. Good luck!

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i met this girl on a school trip to another city. well we hung out a bit n danced a little n i think shes cute. well when i got back to my city all i knew about her was her name and that she went to a school near where i went to, cuz i forgot to ask for a number. well i asked a friend that goes to that school about her and turns out she lives down the street from him, so iono should i go visit? would that be stalkin? cuz i didnt mean to find out where she lived, i juss asked about her. would it be weird?


if it is weird wat else could i try, she dont have mysapce n other stuff

Just showing up at her house would be a little weird. It's not stalking, but it would be kind of awkward. Try to get more information out of your friend. If he doesn't know anything else go to her house with him. It wouldn't be so weird or awkward if there were two of you. If none of that is really an option you could always get her address off of her mailbox and send her a letter with your e-mail address or something in it. Make sure you explain how you got it though if you do that. I wish you luck!

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How long can sperm live in a female's body? Or what is the average time?

Thanks.

It depends on a lot of things and every source I look at seems to say different things, but I'd say it's about 3-5 days.

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Okay, I have just been treated for depression. I have dealt with it for 4 years now, but now Im so happy. I have found God in my life, and everything is fine mentally. But for some reason I am tired all the time, like I can get alot of sleep and still be soooo tired, like it's fatigue, my eyes are so heavy all the time, also right after I eat I usually feel sick or even more hungry, like I cannot get enough, and I feel just blah and Im loosing weight even though I eat alot. Also for more info, my diet is something like this: morning: coffee and cereal lunch: salad/soda/water or pasta, supper is usually anything like pasta or a burger or something, I drink water too and take a vitamin everyday, and I usually walk like 15-20 mins a day.. Sometimes I am weak too, like I cannot even lift something like 10 lbs sometimes, I have no idea what is wrong with me? I know I should see a doctor, but I want opinions first!! Thanks so much for your advice.

Like you said, definitely see a doctor. You may have picked up something like mono. You can get mono other ways than kissing so keep that in mind. It could also be an effect of being depressed even though you aren't anymore. Your body can have a hard time adjusing to any kind of change whether it be mental or physical or for good or for bad. I hope you feel better soon and it's great to hear that you got through your depression and have found God. Good for you.

Good luck!

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i want to go to comm. college for a year then transfer to a university but does it look bad to the university that ive been to community college? like-- would they think i didnt get into a university?

Lots of people do that. As said earlier, it actually looks better on your application to have some higher education under your belt already. It proves that you have already succeded in college. As long as your grades are decent of course. It's like taking an extra step, so you're a step above the kids just coming out of high school. Grades though, are all that matter. If you have a solid B average at a community college you shouldn't have much of a problem getting into a university. It's great to hear that you decided to go to college. Good luck!

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Okay so, my boyfriend calls me everynight and half the time I dread his calls. DONT GET ME WRONG; I really really like him, but I Hate the phone. Like he's kinda shy so theres always that ackward silence and idk I've never liked talking on the phone. I always feel guilty cause I always make some excuse to hang up to end the ackwardness and since I hate talking on the phone. He doesn't have AIM so we can't talk on that .. soo what do I do?

Hmm...so you choose to rate only me and rate me poorly? That wasn't very nice of you. Just because what I said was "weird" doesn't mean it's bad advice. That's what the ratings are for. Not to judge people, but to judge their advice so they know how well they're doing and can improve the advice that they give. You are the one that is asking for advice, you are the one that wants to improve yourself so don't insult the people that try to help you. If it wasn't somewhat weird to you, you probably would have been able to come up with it on your own.
Don't ask a question expecting a certain answer or not being open to other people's experiences, opinions, or ideas. Advice is about being creative not about reapeating what other people said or giving the most obvious answers. I shared a very embarassing story with you which was hard to do even anonymously. I wanted you to see that what you're going through isn't a problem, just an annoyance that most everyone experiences at one time or another. There's nothing wrong with you, like there was with me, and there's not much you can do about your awkward silences. My story was meant to make you feel better and maybe even amuse you at how ridiculous I actually was in order to help you see all of that. Try my advice, it may actually work. I would be the one to know right? After all those years of complete terror. Talk on the phone more often and write down some things to say. What can it possibly hurt? Who knows it may even help. Honestly, I think it will. As hard as it may be to comprehend, I care about you and want you to be at least a little happier even if what you're going through isn't a huge deal.

I used to be so terrified of the phone. It was so bad I would throw up whenever I had to call someone. Just last year I got over it. My boyfriend helped me. He would call all the time and I'd get upset and not know what to say. One day I told him about it. I'm the type of person that when someone insults me it helps me out and he knows me really well. So he just kept picking on me about it and forcing me to talk on the phone more and call people. Because of that, I don't get so scared anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still hate talking on the phone, but I don't get sick or scared about it and I can hold a conversation without writing down everything I want to say. Since my boyfriend helped me out so much, maybe yours can help you! Just tell him what you're going through. It can't hurt. Make yourself talk on the phone more to more people. The more you do it, the easier it should get and the more naturally it will come. It also helps to write down some of the things you want to say beforehand. That helps keep the conversation going. When you don't know what to say just pick something off of your list. I did that for a very long time. I still do sometimes. It helps quite a bit. I know that you can get over this, you're not nearly as bad as I was and I'm doing aok. So tell your boyfriend about it, be strong, and good luck!

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I was recently with my boyfriend for 5 days straight all alone, and we had sex many many many many times...and we of course knew that there were possibilities of having a baby.

I was wondering if the number of times you have sex in a period of time increases your chance of pregnancy...or if it just doesn't really matter?

Well then. I apologize. There's so many people on this site that don't want to get pregnant and I assumed that you were one of them! Depending on a lot of factors sperm can live inside your body an average of 3-5 days. So you'd only have to have sex every few days. Having sex more, of course will still increase the chances just because there's more sperm and more of a chance of one making it, but if you're trying to get pregnant you don't have to go completely crazy with the sex. You mentioned that your partner was only your boyfriend. I'm not sure how old you are or what kind of relationship you have with him, but having children when you're young or not married isn't always the greatest of ideas. Make sure you're ready for all the responsibilities and consequences of having children before you get pregnant. Good luck! :)


There's a small chance that whatever protection you used didn't work, but it's very small. If you didn't use any protection that is terrible and you really need to start doing that or you'll be pregnant very soon especially since you are having sex so much. Logically if you have sex 10 days in a row as opposed to once it's more likely that one of the ten days will fall on a fertile day than it is that the one day by itself will. Same with protection. The more times you have sex, it increases the chances of your protection not working right just because you're doing it more times. The truth of it all is though, that you can get pregnant after having sex ONCE. It's a very very risky thing that you did. Sex is a huge responsibility and if you don't want to have a kid in a year, you'd better tone it down a little bit. Sex isn't really worth all that. Good luck!

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last night after dinner my mom told me that she had something to tell me. she told me that she gave birth to me and my identicle twin sister. she told me that she couldnt keep oth of us because she was only 18. she didnt want to give both of us up. so she put my tiwn up for adoption before she was even born. i never knew about this only my mom and my grandma knew. they didnt want to brag about it to anyone. my dad knows about it also(my biological dad, he stayed with my mom through everthing and now theyre married!) so my mom told me that the couple that adopted my twin sister had died in a car accident and my mom was notified. and in their will they didnt give my twin to anyone. all it said was ask jennifer who she wants to live with. so jenny told the lawers that she wanted to live with her biological mom. so the lawyers called my mom and told her and my mom said yes. we get to meet jenny on saturday. im really nervous tho, because i dont know if we're alike or if were different and i dont know what to talk to her about. if anyone can give me advice i would be very happy. also im nervous if shell like hate me because my mom chose to put jenny up for adoption and not me. omg im so scared.

Wow, that's such an amazing story. It's definitely okay to be nervous. Once you get together I'll bet you'll have a lot to talk about. I think that you'll find that the biggest problem you'll have is that her parents just died. She may not have known that she had a twin either even if she did know she was adopted. She's going to be really sad and uncomfortable and confused. Her life completely changed very unexpectedly and she's going to be living with a family that she doesn't know. You two may be able to unite under those similarities. Meaning, both of your lives just drastically changed and you can find comfort in each other because you know that she's going through something similar to you. I think that things will go better for you if you pretend like she's an exchange student living with you. Show her around and tell her about your family and make her feel more comfortable about her new environment. Her being your sister is a lot to grasp all at once and the sisterly feelings will come with time. Focus on trying to console her and make her feel better. Try to keep her mind off of what happened, but be open to talk to her about anything and everything. It might be hard at first, but after a little time I think that you'll get to be really close. Don't expect that you'll have much in common or that you'll like the same things just because you're twins. Even though she looks like you, she's a completely different person. You can have a lot of fun with coincidences though. I know that everything will work out in not too long. Almost all only children dream of having a brother or sister and all of a sudden you have one! You're really lucky. :)

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ive been taking birth control and these pills to make you're breasts grow. (natureday.com) i think and hope its working. i have quit smoking on a regular basis and only do it once awhile and have been eating ALOT! any tips on how i can gain weight and a poportional body in less than 5 months while being at home?

Um, wow. None of that sounds very healthy. Did you talk to your doctor about all of this? A dietician maybe? I'd definitely seek professional help on this one. Not that what you're doing is necessarily bad, but a professional will be able to give the best advice here. They will be able to tell you how to gain weight in a healthy way. Eating a lot or eating a lot of junk food isn't the way to go. It's always good to consult a doctor when you are messing with your body like you are just to make sure you're not doing any harm. So yeah, ask a doctor! Please, please don't follow anyone's advice on here unless they say that they are a professional. They may be miraculously right, but they probably won't be and it's a bad idea to run the risk of hurting yourself. Good luck!

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My friend and I are both 23 so I wouldnt think this would still be a problem, makes me think of more a problem with teens. But anywhooo. Im married with three kids and my best friends sence 1st grade is still single.
When we go to bars or etc she turns into a total different person. She acts like a ditz and does nothing but through herself at men. Even if they ignore her she still insists that they really do like her. So often she goes home with men she just met and when they dont call her she keeps calling them over and over. Ive tried to tell her the that those kind of men only want one thing and shes wrong for believing differntly. She tells me sence Im married I have no idea what it feels like to be single and looking.
I just hate to see herself through herself on everyone and fall in love instantly with every guy she meets.
I dont know what to do anymore. Every time I say something to her she gets defensive.

Keep trying to get her to listen to you. I'd take the nasty comment route if I were you. She may get upset about it for awhile, but that means that she took what you said to heart and will either try to change or come asking for help. The next time she pulls out the "you're married so you have no idea what it feels like to be single and looking" say "No, I don't know what it feels like and neither would you if you'd let me help you. I did it right. I'm married and all you are is a different guy's whore every night. I did something right and it's obvious that you didn't. I mean look at you, you're acting like you're 13 years old. I want to help you and have been trying for years, but it seems like you want to spend the rest of your life 'single and sleeping around' so screw you, oh wait, I'll leave that to every guy that can freaking breathe." That's a little over the top so you probably want to tone it down a little, but it could accomplish something since nothing else has seemed to work. It doesn't have to be long either, I just wanted to give you a little more inspiration. As long as the next day you sincerely apologize for lashing out at her and say you were having a rough day or something, I doubt it's going to hurt your friendship. Plus, even after the apology and even if you say you didn't mean what you said I think she'll still take it to heart and try to change. All that said, here comes the disclaimer. I don't know you or your friend personally so if you think that this will have extremely negative effects on you, her, or your friendship please don't do it. It would work for some, but not for others. Use your best judgement. I hope that I was able to help you and I wish you luck!

Oh, also, I'm sorry if I offended any 13 year olds. I love you guys, I just thought that it was an appropriate age to use since it was 10 years younger than the person's actual age. She can make of it what she will, all insults come from how a person interprets what is being said.

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