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My friend is a different person around men
My friend and I are both 23 so I wouldnt think this would still be a problem, makes me think of more a problem with teens. But anywhooo. Im married with three kids and my best friends sence 1st grade is still single.
When we go to bars or etc she turns into a total different person. She acts like a ditz and does nothing but through herself at men. Even if they ignore her she still insists that they really do like her. So often she goes home with men she just met and when they dont call her she keeps calling them over and over. Ive tried to tell her the that those kind of men only want one thing and shes wrong for believing differntly. She tells me sence Im married I have no idea what it feels like to be single and looking.
I just hate to see herself through herself on everyone and fall in love instantly with every guy she meets.
I dont know what to do anymore. Every time I say something to her she gets defensive.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
She mite have been hurt in a serious relation ship and thinks she cant get anyone better than that person. She mite be afraid of being alone for the rest of her life and want 2 try as many guys till she finds the right one. She feels threatened by ypur marrage and thinks she has 2 find some 1 fast no matter who it is. Ask some of your single make friends if they r interested in going out with her for like a blind date or ask your partener if he has some single friends.
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Try to introduce her to someone from outside the bar scene. Perhaps a single friend of your husband's or perhaps a co-worker that you know. Go back to basics. He calls her; they go on a real date (preferably somewhere where alcohol won't be a central presence - like a restaurant or a movie); rinse and repeat :-) Maybe you could find a babysitter and you guys could even double-date...could be fun. Good luck!
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Keep trying to get her to listen to you. I'd take the nasty comment route if I were you. She may get upset about it for awhile, but that means that she took what you said to heart and will either try to change or come asking for help. The next time she pulls out the "you're married so you have no idea what it feels like to be single and looking" say "No, I don't know what it feels like and neither would you if you'd let me help you. I did it right. I'm married and all you are is a different guy's whore every night. I did something right and it's obvious that you didn't. I mean look at you, you're acting like you're 13 years old. I want to help you and have been trying for years, but it seems like you want to spend the rest of your life 'single and sleeping around' so screw you, oh wait, I'll leave that to every guy that can freaking breathe." That's a little over the top so you probably want to tone it down a little, but it could accomplish something since nothing else has seemed to work. It doesn't have to be long either, I just wanted to give you a little more inspiration. As long as the next day you sincerely apologize for lashing out at her and say you were having a rough day or something, I doubt it's going to hurt your friendship. Plus, even after the apology and even if you say you didn't mean what you said I think she'll still take it to heart and try to change. All that said, here comes the disclaimer. I don't know you or your friend personally so if you think that this will have extremely negative effects on you, her, or your friendship please don't do it. It would work for some, but not for others. Use your best judgement. I hope that I was able to help you and I wish you luck!
Oh, also, I'm sorry if I offended any 13 year olds. I love you guys, I just thought that it was an appropriate age to use since it was 10 years younger than the person's actual age. She can make of it what she will, all insults come from how a person interprets what is being said.
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