about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

im 18 yrs and its been 8 months with my boyfriend...i want to tell him that and prove him that i dont love or have any feelings for my ex boyfriend how can i tell him in a way he could believe it??

Just tell him. Sending signals or playing tricks is not going to work. The only definite way as I see it is to just tell him that you are over your ex. Heck, it's been 8 months with your boyfriend; if you really wanted to be with your ex boyfriend, I think you would have been with him by now.

If you flat out tell your boyfriend and he doesn't believe you, well there's not much you can do. You were truthful with him, and the fact that he may not trust you should be an indication of your future with him.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

on my profile i have this bright red layout that my friend put on there, and now i dont know how to get it off. i want a different layout, but everytime i copy and paste the little layout code thing somewhere it doesnt work. can you please tell me where i can put it so that it shows? and i previously had a picture of myself on there and it showed. now when i try to put a new picture on there it has that little box with the red x where the picture is supposed to be. how do i fix this? ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated!

Is this on here?

If it is, you can't copy and paste a code into your Advicenators column. You can only use the different layouts provided on here, unless you have a paid account. You can change the colors and such with the "Column Settings" page found on your left.

To change your picture, make sure you've gotten rid of the previous one, and if you try to paste a url in the column information page, it won't work. You'll have to paste the URL of a picture of you in the "URL of a picture of you" box.

If this isn't for advicenators, and it's for myspace, well then try erasing everything from your info [you can copy and paste certain elements of it to save for later in a word document. Just make sure you get rid of the HTML code of the layout]. And put things in one at a time.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

okay, i was just wondering how you get a video box in your heroes section on myspace. I'm not sure what the real name of it is, but it's a box and you can put pictures of your friends in it and then it plays like a movie. if you can help me, i'd really appreciate it!

It's called a slideshow, and here are a few links that may help you:

http://www.myspaceplease.com/myspace-generators/slideshow.php
http://www.mywackospace.com/image-slideshow/
http://www.myspaceslideshow.net/

Enjoy =]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

hi im 15 and i started cutting a while ago and ive tried different things to stop.. i have stooped for a while now but im afraid ill start again... can you help me figure out a way to stop for good? thanks bunches =)

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Cutting-Yourself

From there:

1. Tell someone you trust about your feelings. When you feel like cutting yourself confide in a teacher, school counselor, parent, friend, relative, etc... will do just fine. If they don't know about your current struggle tell them about it and tell them you need their help to keep yourself from cutting again.
2. Talk to this person whenever you have the urge to cut. Some persons experience that a school counselor is a good choice to help with your cutting.
3. Keep a hotline number with you at all times. When you feel the urge to cut, pick up the phone and call the hotline. Crisis hotline staff are trained to provide support and offer you alternatives to cutting yourself.
4. Remember that to a professional crisis clinician it is clear that it is not their job to "talk you out of" cutting yourself - you make your own choices, and you must take responsibility for either cutting or not cutting.
5. Remove cutting tools from your immediate area. If you have to take the time to look for something with which to cut yourself, you may find you have just given yourself enough time to deal with the impulse. Also keep sharp objects away from you.
6. Identify the 'trigger' that gives you the urge to cut. The moment you have the urge to cut, stop and think of what has just occurred. Remember it and try to avoid these situations!
7. Try to create another outlet. Walk away, eat ice cream, take a shower or bubble bath, go out for a jog, go for a swim, call a friend for coffee at the local coffeehouse but do not cut.
8. Understand that as soon as you feel the urge to cut yourself, take a deep breath, fold your arms, close your eyes and relax. Tell yourself that you are not going to cut. If possible, lie down somewhere. Stay like this until the urge goes, then quickly phone a helpline or use another means of getting help.
9. Find other ways to vent. Cutting is a way to release some type of pain or frustration. Try painting, writing about your feelings, singing, dancing, playing an instrument, or playing a sport.
10. "Hurt" yourself with no scars.Wear a rubber band on your wrist at all times and when you feel the urge to cut, snap yourself.
11. Screaming at the top of your lungs helps. Try virtually anything you can (as long as it's legal and healthy) to stop the urge to cut.
12. Release the pain without cutting by using your voice. Talk to someone--a doctor, teacher, friends, your parents if you can. You will be surprised how relieved you will feel after you talk about it.
13. Speak out loud about what is causing you so much pain. Talk about it - even to yourself, in the privacy of your bedroom: even yelling to yourself to release the tension inside of you - but do not cut or hurt yourself at all.
14. Help yourself by imagining how you are able to be like a best friend. As if a friend was just about to cut herself, what would you say to stop your good friend?
15. Recognize that cutting is just the symptom of a root problem. Now you are ready to seek and get help.


I wish you the very best of luck =].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I am 21yrs my penis foreskin is uncircumscribed please tell me how to make the foreskin of the penis to go back to make the penis head come out?

Is there any problem with the uncut penis?
i am a healthy man

Circumcision seems your only option if you want the foreskin gone. If there are any other methods, I am unsure of them.

There aren't really any problems with them, except I've read you're more likely to get infection with uncircumcised skin.

only search advicenators.com


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I talk to this guy I met wherever, and we text a lot. The problem is that he never texts me first. What do you think? Does he not like me?

Just to warn you, I'm not yelling at you only, but all those out there on Advicenators who think that JUST because a guy doesn't text you first, it means he can't POSSIBLY like you.

I don't know what it is that makes people think this. Seriously, sometimes we guys don't feel like starting a conversation because we're not always into talking. Sometimes we are. It really just depends.

And something as little as texting, come on, texting, for goodness sake, shouldn't dictate whether a guy likes you or not. The fact that he talks to you should be good enough, you know?

Since I see texting as the lowest form of communication, other than telegrams and letters, I don't see it as a big deal that he doesn't text you first. Maybe he's just busy and doesn't regularly think: Oh dear, maybe I should text this girl or she might think I'm a jerk.

Guys don't think like that.

So aside from my rant, which has meaning, I think that you should only take offense if he doesn't start the conversation first, if the conversation is IN PERSON, not through text. Like if you clearly make eye contact and he doesn't at least say hello or some type of small-talk, then I would say he doesn't like you as any more than a friend.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Ok well im 15 yr old girl and heres my problem.. well i recently met this guy and hes a freshman and im a sophmore.. i hung out with him like once in a big group and stuff but after that ive been texting him and he seems really nice and texts back and everything and i think i like him and want to hang out with him more but i feel like every time we text each other im always the first one to start that conversation .. since you are a guy do you think that hes not into me since he never texts me first or that maybe its just because hes a guy and he doesnt really realize it or something like that? If you like a girl or maybe want to become friends with her do you normally start the text conversation?

thanks :)

Just to warn you, I'm not yelling at you only, but all those out there on Advicenators who think that JUST because a guy doesn't text you first, it means he can't POSSIBLY like you.

I don't know what it is that makes people think this. Seriously, sometimes we guys don't feel like starting a conversation because we're not always into talking. Sometimes we are. It really just depends.

And something as little as texting, come on, texting, for goodness sake, shouldn't dictate whether a guy likes you or not. The fact that he talks to you should be good enough, you know?

Since I see texting as the lowest form of communication, other than telegrams and letters, I don't see it as a big deal that he doesn't text you first. Maybe he's just busy and doesn't regularly think: Oh dear, maybe I should text this girl or she might think I'm a jerk.

Guys don't think like that.

So aside from my rant, which has meaning, I think that you should only take offense if he doesn't start the conversation first, if the conversation is IN PERSON, not through text. Like if you clearly make eye contact and he doesn't at least say hello or some type of small-talk, then I would say he doesn't like you as any more than a friend.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i'm going to be a junior. i get good grades, am 2nd in my class and am very involved in extra-carriculars. i want to go to an ivy-league school, namely Columbia U. how can i prepare now? scholarship-wise, money-wise, transition-wise, acedemically (tests and whatnot), pretty much everything. i don't want to be shocked when i get there. i don't want to drown in ivy league madness because my high school didn't prepare me so well. so how do i prepare??

Scholarship-wise, apply for any and all scholarships you find. Do a search online, and there are a lot of scholarships to be given out. Ask previous graduates of your high school what scholarships they earned that you might be able to apply for.

Money-wise, get a job. That will help ease the cost a little, but scholarships will help, too. You'll more-than-likely have to take out a loan, and usually to do that, you need to have some type of credit established. Look into getting a credit card [for emergencies only], and buy ONE item and then immediately pay the bill once you get it in the mail. That will establish your credit.

Transition-wise, I'm not really sure. I'm still in high school myself, so I'm sorry, but I can't help you out that way. Maybe talk to your counselor about that?

Academically, look into what tests you have to take in order to apply. Usually that means the SAT. See how often you can take it, and how you can improve your score each time you take it. There are a lot of books out there you can buy and lots of websites that can help you get a high score.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

How do i find a bf?? I'm going to be freshman this yr. and i want a bf really bad!

First- I'm going to tell you that relationships aren't all they are cracked up to be. Sure- they are fun having someone to share things with and be with. But they involve a huge commitment and if you end up with someone who is clingy- they'll want to be with you every minute of every day- and you might not have time for friends or anything else you want to do. I say this because one of my ex-girlfriends was sort of like that- and got mad if I was busy with other plans.. and it was just really retarded.

Anyway- the best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.

I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.

Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

how can i stay active until school starts? i don't want to get lazy and i don't want to gain wieght. i just finished summer p.e. (which i had to take because i never did as a freshman) and i enjoyed the experience. we streched and did sit-ups and push-ups,walked a mile everyday, then ran various tracks, played two different sports, hit the wieght room and got home before noon. i actually got healthier! but now that it's over, how do i keep this way? i don't have many recourses at home...no wieght room nor do i have 9 siblings to play basketball with. i can walk up to a mile on the tracks behind my house, but what else can i do. i will probably only have access to a gym or pool about once a week. and i have a month before school, so a month when i won't be super bus. any suggestions?

Hmm like you kind of said, recreate what you did in the class as much as you can.

Walk that mile behind your house every day. Do some simple stretches before and after.

You can do one-on-one games of basketball with a sibling or friend. Better yet, invite your friends over to play basketball or do some of the activities you guys did in the class.

Maybe set up a backyard volleyball game or something with friends.


If any of your friends have a pool, see how often you can go over and swim laps or just swim for fun.

Really, it doesn't have to be much for it to be as enjoyable as the class was.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

How can I become more self-confident?

www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence

From there:

1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
2. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
3. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
4. Identify your successes Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
5. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
6. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
7. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
8. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
9. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
10. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
11. Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning) you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
12. Stop worrying. What worries you today will be forgotten by you and people around you tomorrow. Can you remember what you were so worried about the same day the same time last week? If not, then you should not worry right now. You will not worry about it even one week from now.
13. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. Simple habit that we can learn and start to implement it are stand and sit correctly. Your great and nice body posture will speak for you. How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you.


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

17/f

In like the last 6 months I have become really really self concious and not confident at all. I used to be much more confident and I could just do stuff in front of people and now I can't go anywhere without another person.

Can anyone help me this is ruining my life.

http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence

From there:

1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
2. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
3. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
4. Identify your successes Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
5. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
6. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
7. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
8. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
9. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
10. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
11. Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning) you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
12. Stop worrying. What worries you today will be forgotten by you and people around you tomorrow. Can you remember what you were so worried about the same day the same time last week? If not, then you should not worry right now. You will not worry about it even one week from now.
13. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. Simple habit that we can learn and start to implement it are stand and sit correctly. Your great and nice body posture will speak for you. How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you.


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Ok so i have had freckles on my face ever since i can remember. They have never really bothered me before, but now that i'm getting older i really don't want them. Are there any home remedies to completely get rid of my freckles?? Thanks in advance.

http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/health/how-to-get-rid-of-freckles

From there:

1. Got Freckles?

As you may know, freckles are nothing more than spots on your skin where melanin (skin pigmentation) has gone pigment-happy. They are common in children and usually fade as one grows into adulthood. Usually.
2. How to Get Rid of Freckles

While there are several available ‘invasive’ methods, I would urge you to see your doctor rather than reading an arbitrary web site. Among the more popular medical options are laser freckle removal and the cryogenic freezing of freckles. Over-the-counter bleaching creams are also available.

Freckle Removal & Minimization Tips

* Stay out of the sun whenever possible and wear sunscreen when you do go outside. Your freckles will tan just like the rest of you, causing them to become more obvious.
* Apply lemon juice directly to your face twice a day and let it sit for at least 15 minutes. You can also apply it at night before retiring and wash it off in the morning after rising. This will also increase your sensitivity to sunlight so wear sunscreen when you go out.
* Rinse your face with sour milk.
* Apply sour cream over your entire face, let it sit for 15 minutes and then wipe it off with a towel or tissue, but don’t rinse.
* Use a cosmetic cover-up.


Freckle Removal Cream Recipes:

Use the following home remedies by mixing them with yogurt, your favorite cream, or by applying directly to the skin. Most of these concoctions will make you more sensitive to sunlight, so be sure and use sunscreen when you go outside.

* Lemon juice
* Parsley juice
* Onion juice (Or crushed onions) - not a very pleasant solution…
* Cucumber juice (you can also crush a cucumber into paste and use the resulting material)
* Fenugreek oil (Dilute in cream or yogurt)
* A mixture of 2 oz. Lemon juice, 2 oz. rum, 1 tsp. glycerin, and 4 tbsp. buttermilk - let the mixture set on your face for 30 minutes and wash, no more than twice a day.
* A mixture of 1 tbsp. yogurt and a dribble of honey. Apply this directly to your freckles and it let set for 30 minutes before washing.




Enjoy =]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

In Kentucky, the minimum wage as of July 1st is supposed to be $6.55 per hour. I get paid $6 an hour at my job. I work at a small store that is no way corporate. (I'm 15, by the way) Are there any exceptions to the minimum wage law? I don't know if my boss know the minimum wage went up or not! And he's a family friend, so I would feel really weird asking him to pay me more.

help?

http://www.labor.ky.gov/ows/employmentstandards/wagehourregulations.htm


That might answer a few of your questions.

I'm pretty sure that he has to abide by the State's law for that, but I could be wrong.

I know it may seem awkward to ask him, but I think you should anyway. Just let him know that at the start of the month, minimum wage went up, and that you were wondering if he could start paying you that, unless there is a reason not to [that is, a law that states he doesn't have to for some reason].

It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Just be clear with what you want. If anything, it should be easier since he's a family friend.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

17/f. My best friend (16/m) has been through a tough couple of years what with his parents' divorce. Lately he is making bad decisions and I don't know how to tell him that everyone is worried without him getting mad at me and completely shutting me out. He is an incredible musician, and this year he is quitting all music at school. He doesn't take lessons anymore. He broke up with his girlfriend without giving any reason (and she's an amazing girl), and he's pushing his friends away. It's like he's isolating himself from everybody, and I don't know why. He has like zero ambition, which sucks because he's extremely intelligent. Also, he is spending pretty much all of his time with my other friend (she's 16/f, and not a love interest of his), who has become a "bad seed" within the past few years because she started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I'm terribly worried about him, and I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I don't think it would be entirely beneficial to just tell him he's a dumbass (though that would definitely release some of my frustration), so does anyone have any other suggestions?

How will he know you're upset with him if you don't tell him?

That's right- he won't. So what you need to do is sit him down and talk to him about everything. But don't be pushy and rude about it. Just tell him that he shouldn't give up on music if he's really that good, and that you're really worried about him because you think he has great potential. Don't treat him as if he's become a monster, because that will most likely make him even more isolated from everything.

If you show honest concern for him, he might try to change what he's doing, but ultimately, it's up to him what to do.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

OK, so I am in the process of installing LimeWire on my computer. I heard you can get music off of it. There are a fewww songs I want that aren't available on iTunes so how would I use Limewire for that? Do you have to pay for the songs?
If not, isn't that illegal?
But, if you do have to pay, how do you go about that?
Tell me anything you think is important. Thanks!

You would type the name of the song into the search bar, and hope that it comes up. LimeWire really sucks. It doesn't have everything and most of the songs you'll find are remixes. It's usually not worth it.

LimeWire is completely illegal because it is free.

You can get a Premium version of the program for a fee, but honestly it's not worth it.

Your best bet is to just see if you can search online to find the song, because chances are if iTunes doesn't have it, LimeWire won't.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

my family is gone on vacation but i couldn't go due to school. i am really lonely and i keep getting sad. i have a lot of hw/studying to do, but i can barely concentrate i am so lonely. any tips?

Like Laura said, invite a friend over to study with you. If you can't do that, I found that when you study, it's important to take breaks so that you're not sitting in one place for more than an hour at a time.

If you can concentrate with the TV on or while you're online or listening to music, do that. I find that I can't do homework unless I'm doing something else at the same time.

Try different things and see what works with you. =]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i love my boyfriend but he is moving and there is no possible way we could be together long distance cause my parents would make it impossible...but i still like my ex (who is still single) and i dont know if i should just get back with him or if i should stay single...either way im still going to miss the boyfriend im with now and i know that my ex could never take his place....i dont want to be alone in this!!!

Hmm. Really from what I've learned, rebound relationships [those created just after another relationship has ended for the sole purpose of getting over the previous relationship] never work out, and you'll end up ten mores more hurt than you would be having not gotten with another person.

Stay single for awhile to firstly get over your boyfriend, and secondly because it's a lot of fun being single and getting to see what's out there, you know? Not being a slut, I mean just seeing what other types of guys are out there if you ever want to date again.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I'm really shy... well more like afraid of people.
If I'm with people I want to like me, I freeze up and can't think of anything to say. If I do say something it's either really stupid or sarcastic/mean. This hinders me making friends because I freeze up and get really awkward, and I'm not pretty so it's not like people come to me. Do you have any advice as to how I can overcome this?

www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing




--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i wanna lose a lot of weight, i was wondering wat kind of food eat wat kind of excercises, everything i suck at it i need steps i can follow stuff like that. thanks

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=522387

That will tell you ALL you need to know.

=]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

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