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My Best Friend's Bad Decisions
17/f. My best friend (16/m) has been through a tough couple of years what with his parents' divorce. Lately he is making bad decisions and I don't know how to tell him that everyone is worried without him getting mad at me and completely shutting me out. He is an incredible musician, and this year he is quitting all music at school. He doesn't take lessons anymore. He broke up with his girlfriend without giving any reason (and she's an amazing girl), and he's pushing his friends away. It's like he's isolating himself from everybody, and I don't know why. He has like zero ambition, which sucks because he's extremely intelligent. Also, he is spending pretty much all of his time with my other friend (she's 16/f, and not a love interest of his), who has become a "bad seed" within the past few years because she started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I'm terribly worried about him, and I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I don't think it would be entirely beneficial to just tell him he's a dumbass (though that would definitely release some of my frustration), so does anyone have any other suggestions?
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Finding a good time to just sit down and talk to him would be best. Just let him know of what he's doing at least and that you're worried about him. It's possible that he's also confused after his parents' divorce. Maybe he thinks that he did something wrong to cause the whole divorce or maybe he was very close to one of his parents and just having to see that parent move out must be difficult to cope with. Well anyway, talking to him will hopefully have your best friend realize his bad decisions. And I agree with the previous answer, it's entirely up to him on how he wants to behave. You don't have to force him to make right decisions...just be there to guide him to do the right thing. And honestly, it's great that you sill care about your best friend even through his sudden change. =)
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How will he know you're upset with him if you don't tell him?
That's right- he won't. So what you need to do is sit him down and talk to him about everything. But don't be pushy and rude about it. Just tell him that he shouldn't give up on music if he's really that good, and that you're really worried about him because you think he has great potential. Don't treat him as if he's become a monster, because that will most likely make him even more isolated from everything.
If you show honest concern for him, he might try to change what he's doing, but ultimately, it's up to him what to do.
--Jack
(16/m)
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