E-mail:
blublusox123@hotmail.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
Somewhere where pigs can fly...Age:
17Member Since:
July 25, 2008Answers:
59Last Update:
April 3, 2010Visitors:
5898Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
Friendship
View All
about
" align=left hspace=10>
Allooooo~ well to start off...I go by as Dennise and giving advice is what I'm here to do and I plan to provide whatever assistance I can offer to the best of my abilities. I've had my share of ups-and-downs (don't we all) and I'm more than willing enough to help those that ask.
In fair warning: I won't give answers that are "gusshied with sprinkles on top" (or whatever things that that line follows). I will be blunt if the situation calls for it...either you take the honest words or brush it off and go search for a lie~ all in all, it's entirely your choice.
Advice is simply there for people to brood and consider over, not a forceful act.
So feel free to ask me whatever you wish to be answered and the advice shall slide over these keyboards~ ^-^
"If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling;
if you can use either one, it's a miracle."
-Jack Adams-
"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it,
If you don't ask, the answer is always no.
If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."
-Anonymous-
advice
My life has hit rock bottom. I have no hope left for myself. This year has been one of the worst years I have faced in the 20 years of my life. My college grades are anything but good. My dog passed away last month. My boyfriend of 8 months who I love, is hurt because i lied to him that i was a virgin. He won't even talk to me properly. I have absolutely no friends who I can talk to about anything. I want to end my life. I just cant continue living in pain each day with no one around to take care of me or just hold me and say that "It's gonna be okay". I try to optimistic but I'm just too lonely. What do I do?
To put it bluntly, life can suck and somehow it has the ability to bring you to the ground. But you also have that same chance to stand up and think about what you can do to make things much better for yourself. Even though it may seem like life is cruel, in a way it's more of a guiding hand to help you develop to the person you wish to be. No matter how many times life can beat us down, it gives us a supporting hand to continue forward, learn from our past mistakes, and grow stronger in the near future...life does these harsh things to people so to realize our potentials and for us to take the stand to take control of our lives.
First off: your grades. Take into consideration as to what the others advised before this one. Studying is the only solution when it comes to academic rewards. Apparently it's understandable when you're stressed out, you're not entirely to keen to the idea of motivating yourself to study. But think of studying as an escape to your problems. Primarily your mind is focused on studying, answering/pondering questions, and memorizing so you could use this as a motivation to keep your grades up.
Losing a dear, close friend (especially someone you consider your family) is hard to get through. I know the feeling, but all I can say is...you will eventually grow to accept it all. Take the time to remember precious memories you had with your dog. They may be mourned over but memories are special...those happy and sad moments you spent with your dog are what you can consider as entities of him/her (I apologize, but the gender wasn't mentioned :p). Reminiscing the past will make you cry, but he/she will always be with you so long as you keep those memories close to you and that is something that we can all be thankful for...to have memoirs of those we love.
As I've said before, when life brings you down, push yourself to make a stand. Talk to your boyfriend and if he ignores you, just tell him to listen even if he won't say anything.
Handling things on your own can be frightening and so we seek the comfort of others. It's natural for people to feel that way. Why not take the chance to go and ask someone for help with your studies? After all, you're hoping to improve on your grades. Alright, the thought of randomly asking someone to help you can be a bit nerve-racking but there's always someone out there bound to be friends with you. Everyone can't help but reach out to others. Consider this option at least. Everything has a way to turn out for the best, but you have to be patient for it and sometimes you even have to push for it.
I hope this was of some help...and it will all be alright~ I wish you luck! ^-^
I have so many things going on in my head right now thats causing me to feel majorly depressed and miserable. Well, maybe its not a super major depression since I am able to function still and do things, but I do feel really miserable To make mattters worse the only friend I have is away for a long time so I can't talk to him about it or spend time with him to help me feel better and now I'm just sitting around at home all by myself. I find only lashing out at my parents or brother to be the only way to ease the pain but I can't do that it's wrong. I really don't want to see a counselor or therapist, not only do I not have easy access to these things, but I really don't want to tell my parents. I assure you, these are people who just won't understand. Is there any helpful tips in dealing with this by myself?
Depression is something that obviously makes us feel too vulnerable and weak to move on. But depression is something that people can try to get out of.
Since your best friend isn't nearby to bring the comfort you need, go out and talk to other people. If you find someone that you fully trust to share your problems, then go ahead and pour it out.
I also highly suggest you do various activities such as reading a book you like, drawing stick people (not exactly that but...whatever weird things you want to express through art), taking a stroll outside, or anything that you enjoy and can help you feel relaxed. It's a great way to relieve your mind from all the troubles you've been feeling and it helps to better raise your confidence in yourself. It's better to spend your day to do something active rather than brooding over problems. Besides, doing activities usually come across small (but worthwhile), tiny, and random adventures that can be the highlight of your day.
Take care and you are always free to inbox me if you have any more questions! =3
hi im male. im about to enter my junior year in high school. but im going into a new school. i only know like one person there, but hes not really like, normal.. like he doesnt really care about me.
the problem is, i dont wanna be sitting by myself! making friends isnt the problem, it just takes time. i need help, because i dont want to be sitting by myself on the first day. its not that im shy or weird or anything, im a pretty social person. its just that other people already have their own friends and wont care much about new people.
HELP! i start school on tuesday
Everyone gets the butterflies in their stomach whenever they start a new school. The jitters of meeting new people is always the challenge. But you have to feel more confident that you'll be alright in making new friends.
"its just that other people already have their own friends and wont care much about new people." If you keep on thinking that just cuz they won't give you a chance, then you definitely won't try to make friends with that idea in your head. And just because they already have friends doesn't mean that they can add one more, like yourself! Besides, if you say your a a pretty outgoing person then it shouldn't be too difficult into starting conversations with others. Just approach someone...and I'm sure you'll have classmates that would come to you because they want to make a new student feel relaxed.
Also, don't panic...it's only going to be the first day that you'll feel a little uncomfortable, but trust me...you'll have PLENTY of school days to build relationships with people and you'll have friends surrounding you in no time. Don't ever think it's like the end of the world just because you didn't survive the first day of school.
Be confident and good luck! =3
hello,
my name is lacey and i have been with the same guy since the 3rd grade lol. im almost 15 and there is this guy who i heard liked me and i kinda like him to. one night he invited me and my mother to dinner with him and his grandparents. but he actually just wanted me to come. now that i started talking to him he hasnt said another word to me. what should i do?
Hi there Lacey. ^-^
Well, it wouldn't hurt to ask him why he's not saying a word to you. You don't have to nudge him for the answer if he doesn't feel like explaining it. He'll eventually tell you what's bothering him after he knows that you're worried. Yeah, guys ARE confusing, hehe, but I guess it's what makes them interesting~
Good luck! =3
It's been like this for quite some time now. I feel lost, like I'm slipping away. I've been stressed with relationships, friendships, and school.And.. I feel so different with my boyfriend then before, and I'm not too sure why. I mean, I still care for him, but something has changed. And we got into this fight today, and it hasnt helped whatsoever. I've been in this big hole of depression. I don't know what to do. On top of this, I've had a really bad urge to hurt myself. I've already cut myself open with my nails. Any advice would be appreciated.
You have to ask yourself before lifting your finger above your skin: What exactly do you get out of cutting yourself, other than scars and such? It's not going to relax your mind from whatever stress you're venturing through. You may think that the pain will help avert your mind from whatever that is bothering you, but it works the opposite way. Cutting yourself in the progress eventually gets worst as you are reminded of why you are hurting yourself in the first place.
You can take this irresistible urge of harming your body by doing something the YOU enjoy to do...like drawing, reading, or even a simple stroll around the streets,. If this urge is still too great to overcome, find someone you completely trust to talk about your situation. You're never alone in this world, hun and so don't try to deal this by yourself.
If you choose to, you can even try to talk to your boyfriend about what's bothering you. But that depends entirely on who you think is best to talk with.
I hope this advice was of some use to you and if you have any questions or want help, feel free to email me~ take care and hang in there. Depression comes and goes in our lives, but we can learn to deal with it as long as we have the help from others. =3
Okay....
So when I was younger I did every sport under the sun. But now I am a teenager (16/f) and I found my true passion a few years ago: theatre! In fact, I'm not a fan of playing sports at all anymore.
The only problem is that I really am not happy with my body. I want to feel better about myself as far as being in good shape. But I'm not a big fan of physically activity so I can't motivate myself. I went to the gym this past winter with my friend and we did a lot of running and such which I was proud of. But then my spring schedule got busy with theatre rehearsals and I couldn't go anymore.
Now that summer is over, I just looked some pictures of my friends and I at the beach. Of course I am in a bikini and even though I am not one of the biggest people there, I still wish I was in shape and a little more toned rather than flabby. Most people say that I am "normal" or "average" but I want to be in shape and toned.
Does anybody have some suggestions of how I can motivate myself to go to the gym? Eating healthy is a problem. I've got a busy theatre schedule and often need those frozen dinner kind of things when I'm on the go. I do have time to eat healthy, I'm just not motivated to do it even though I want it so sad. I've had self esteem issues for awhile, but I still just feel like no matter what I won't notice the results.
Yeah, it's hard to push yourself to actually try and do physical activities, especially just by yourself. Just like the other advice below me said, you can rally up friends to go with you to the gym so that you feel more comfortable knowing that you have people to back you up.
But if you find times that your friend(s) can't come with you because their too busy, you can always ask for a personal trainer. Trust me, personal trainers are able to get you the motivation you need to work-out because that's their job, and those people do a fantastic job to help you out in the gym. Practically they'll be like your best friend while your in the gym because they are VERY friendly and have great personalities which can make you comfortable with them. Personal trainers teach you the basic stuff you need to get in shape and they really know how to help boost your self-esteem by giving you encouraging words.
And don' be afraid to ask them questions, such as what you can do to help maintain a healthy diet and such. Give it a try and see how it goes. I wish you the best and if you have any questions, feel free to email~ =3
The entire extent of my emotional range is comprised of anger and contempt, and boredom and neutrality. I don't feel sadness, happiness, longing, grief or contentment. I'm described by others as brilliant, an analogical thinker, skillful and talented. Also described as distant, untrusting, uncaring and hateful by anyone I allow the mask to slip around.
I find most other humans to be naive, short-sighted, dim-witted, and stubborn fools. I am very perceptive, and I can read people very well. This almost always leads to the inevitable discovery that each person is a selfish beast who has no idea how things really work and therefore no clue about the world around them. This leads to a lot of contempt for most people. Contempt is one emotion I think I do feel. Why should I be so angry that (random example) Bob the Creationist refuses to see scientific fact, or is too stupid to understand it? I probably shouldn't be, but I am. Bob really pisses me off and I just want to knock that stupid smile off of his face. Yet, on the other hand, I will go out of my way to remove an offending spider from the house without hurting it.
Why can't I look at a tree and see its 'beauty'? Why do I instead see a collection of fibrous material supported by a root system, that branches off to support photosynthesizing leaves? Why must I then consider the stresses on the trunk induced by each portion of the tree in various environmental conditions, rather than just noting how pretty the leaves look in the wind? I don't know how pretty they are, I only know of the phenomenon of other people thinking they are pretty. Do you follow me?
I can't remember if I ever really felt other emotions. I think I did, I must have, when I was a kid. I don't really remember much of my childhood. Most of it is less than a blur. And most of what I do remember are bad memories. (Not necessarily terrible or evil, just not good.) I also know I did experience some abuse as a child. Mostly verbal and mental. Some sexual. But I remember those things, so they aren't repressed, and therefore shouldn't be manifesting as this problem. So, am I just naturally antisocial and narcissistic? Anyone have any ideas?
Don't take this next sentence in to too much thought, but...people that are highly intelligent tend to want to see the actual facts just because of what they see through their naked eyes. Example: judging someone just because of their small actions. You have to grasp that sometimes over-analyzing things and coming to the conclusion that something or someone doesn't understand the world around them, just shows that you can be as blind as them.
You may have the talent to read people but it doesn't completely mean you understand their true values. (Please do not take what I have said so far as an insult of such, that is not my intention at all.)
There are plenty of people that believe they are surrounded by shallow, mindless crowds. This is just in my opinion but, the reason people feel that way is because we are judging that others don't see the same perspective that only what "our minds see" and we immediately believe that they are stupid enough to not realize it. It's odd but in a a way, every single person out there in the world practically has the same thoughts but most just take it in a different pace. And plenty don't want to show their true thoughts because they're afraid to express it and so they choose to hide it, which makes people become more judgmental about others (sorry if this might've confused you, not exactly too sure of how to explain something like this ^^;).
Finding the "beauty" of things means you have to be able to let go of trying to inspect facts. Put that all aside and hopefully you'll be able to see what you weren't able to...
But please if you can, go ahead and talk to a therapist who specializes to aid you with this. Handling this alone would be difficult and you are NEVER alone in this world. I hope this advice was of some help...I wish you luck and take care. =3
14/f
(I'm going into 9th grade this fall)
So basically I've never had good self esteem, but lately it's really plummeted. I feel like I'm weird or something...like I act really...weird. I don't know how to describe it. Like one of the weird kids in school. I've always wondered if I was...but I have lots of friends and everything...some are kind of weird and some aren't, but I didn't think they rubbed off on me. But I've been noticing lately...over the summer, I've been doing nothing...hanging out with people once every few weeks. But I had a sleepover with my best friend (who's friends with lots of popular people) and we were like taking turns on the Wii and Facebook and everything and I realised I kept saying things like "I'll own you!"(to the Wii) or "sketchy" and stuff and I felt really stupid because she would give me this look every time I did something I felt was dorky or something... believe me, my best friend is not shallow at all and I love her to death so don't blame it on her or something.
But anyways, I feel really ugly and that I have no friends and no one wants to hang out with me...I just feel like a total loser.
Last week on Facebook I posted some chain note thing where you tagged a bunch of your friends and then they were supposed to say their first impressions of you. So a bunch of people responded and the first to posts were from some of my best friends and they both said "haha, i thought u were quiet and weird...ily:)" which made me feel so stupid. The rest were like "idr" or "nice and quiet". I know I'm really quiet, and I really don't know what to do about it. I never thought it made people think I was weird though.
So could I please get some advice? I need to know how to not get so nervous around people (/being quiet) and whatever else...
Oh also, please don't give me the whole "you shouldn't care about what other people think of you" speech because I really don't care. I've heard that enough. This isn't me wondering how I can be popular or something. I truly just feel like a complete loser.
Thanks
People want to feel comfortable with others and feel like you're a part of them, correct? That's what everyone wants: to belong and to be accepted. But one thing you have to do first so that you gain some confidence is to know exactly who you are and how you want yourself to be.
People want to feel comfortable with others and feel like you're a part of them, correct? That's what everyone wants: to belong and to be accepted. But one thing you have to do first so that you gain some confidence is to know exactly who you are and how you want yourself to be.
I know~ doing something like that seems kind of difficult since doubt is always there. But that's part of being able to overcome your own low self-esteem. Takes time and patience to bear with it...and definitely determination. Find things that really make you shine, every individual in this world has something that makes them unique to others. No matter how small or big.
Being called "weird" seems like a harsh word and people often take it personally, but sometimes we just take the idea of "weird" in a different way that makes it sound hurtful, especially when it's used on the internet. If you feel uncomfortable about it, just ask your friends if they really think that way...just try to, even if it's hard to bring up the topic, otherwise it'll bother you more if you don't do something about it. Plus, if you catch yourself into thinking you did something awkward that you wish you didn't, it's not to late to apologize about it if you felt kind of foolish.
Don't be afraid to ask for help to anyone you really trust if you can't handle your situation by yourself. You're never alone.
Do your best and I'm sure you'll be able to gain more confidence in yourself in no time! Feel free to send me an email if you have any questions and I'll do my best to help you out. Take care =3
This is so long and i feel really bad.. everyone will get a 5 for taking the time to read and try to help me out!
Its so frusterating. I think it started when I was younger.. like in elementary school sometimes people would block the bottom of the tube slides during recess on the playground and I'd be in the middle as more people would slide down. Stuck. I still remember how it felt.. like it became hard to breathe and everything cause I was closed in. I mean its not like there wasn't air coming in. but it wasn't in a comfortable position, I couldn't get out, and there wasn't much space around me.
But I don't know. I can ride air planes fine, I can normally ride in cars, and buses fine as well. But my mom has the Honda Odyssey. its a minivan, and it has a middle seat that can be taken out or put back in. my cousins are here so we put it in cause we need the extra seat. I'm 15 years old by the way, and I just can't sit in the back. Cause its all closed in and there are no doors around it for me to be able to get out. Once I tried sitting in the back, when the car was still new. My mom got the car like 2 years ago. my other cousins were there and it wasn't THAT bad but I didnt like it. but then another time we were leaving for a long trip from NJ to Maryland. I just couldn't sit in the back even when there was a way older guy who would typically sit in the middle (someone else was sitting in the passenger seat in the front). like i was crying and everything.. we were about to leave and i was having difficulty breathing too. and everyone was just so mean about it. like my mom, my sister, and my uncle. they were like "why cant you just sit there?" like wtf they just dont understand! my mom only let me sit in the middle when she remembered when one of her friends had a scan.. i think the MRI or something where you had to sit in that confined space. like the friend thought it wouldnt be bad but realized how bad it was and decided to get knocked out for it instead.
but it just sucks how they need something like that to be able to understand.. like I dont know. Its the same thing as before. with everyone sitting in front of me.. its like Im trapped. like i can imagine it right now ugh it would just be horrible. i dont know how to say it. like i think they think im just making it up so i dont sit in the back cause im bad at explaining it. like the cousins who are at my house now its like everytime we are going into the car i have to explain why i cant sit back there. i mean i can sit in the back when the middle seat isn't there. that isnt a problem. but i just hate having to explain it all everytime and think back to why i cant do it.
my other cousin who stayed home just told me that im gonna have to like get over it. but like its hard to explain it to her too. she thinks i should be claustrophobic when im in taxis or buses, or surrounded by a lot of people too. but im not. in taxis or buses the door is right there. and when im surrounded by people, there is so much open space around me. i can shove through people if i wanted to move from them too.
i mean even when i sat in the back of my mom's minivan w/o the seat in the middle of the middle seats.. w/ my cousins and siblings in the car as well.. like i needed to have the air conditioning on like blowing in my face at one point. its like a desperate thing.. i need it right now or i start to have trouble breathing and i take deep breaths. i take deep breaths sometimes anyways in like general situations.. i dunno, sometimes i just feel like im not getting much air. like in my room sometimes.. it was mostly during 4th - 7th grade. i feel like im not getting good air so i have to open up the window and breathe deeply for a few mins. and then i'd leave it open.
today i couldn't go to this party because my older cousin, Mark*, who would normally be sitting in the backseat chose to sat in the middle. he didnt even have any problem with sitting in the back. he just kept asking me why i couldnt sit there. and ive told them before. i told him it made me uncomfortable. we were running late and my mom just drove off and offered the backseat but i refused. i've told them before that i'd stay home instead. i can imagine it now.. i would have had to switch seats not too long from the time we left. they would have kept telling me that i dont know, maybe im making it up or something. nobody likes sitting in the back in general. they are just insensitive to it. i cant explain it to them, they just dont understand. Mark didnt want to move. him and my sister are pretty tall so its not good for their legs i think, to sit there. my other cousin, Emily* sat in the front cause she recently got foot surgery, my tall sister sat in the middle cause it hurts her legs to sit in the back (shes tall too), and my little bro sits in the middle cause thats where his car seat has to be. another cousin, Amy*, sat in the back and she was the only one there. it just made me upset.. im upset right now, Mark could have sat in the back but didnt. i mean people are afraid of a lot of things.. a lot of things are irrational too. but if you dont understand it.. like i just dont see why they couldn't try to sympasize or something. like they know what claustrophobia is. idont even know if i have it, but it seems like i does from what i just read of the symptoms right now. i mean its not the only time i experience anxiety in general. i used to experience a noteable amount of anxiety.. like during 4th - 7th grade. i dont even know why. it was hard to explain too. like why like i remember in 6th grade where i kept having to look behind me.. like even during school i'd do it. to see if someone was behind me. even if i knew no one was there i just had to keep checking. to the point where my neck would hurt. or like i'd have to keep checking to see if all doors were locked at night, and i'd keep checking to see if i turned the light off all the way because i was afraid that if it was half way or something it could make sparks and cause a fire. or even when i was even younger i remember being afraid of putting soap over my eyes in the bath cause i imagined like some monster coming out of nowhere to get me when my eyes were closed. like it really felt like it was there. i still feel that occasionally. not as much anymore but yeah. i dont even have scary dreams or anything. like more with anxiety.. i felt uncomfortable with certain things socially. like i used to even be afraid of getting up to sharpen my pencil. when i was younger like in elementary school. like sometimes i'd walk funny or like i'd always be concerned like with what people were thinking even though they probably werent thinking much cause when i think of other people like you know you dont think that deeply and all. and you are your harshest critic.
but it also hurt me like in the sense that i cant express myself fully. i have a fear of rejection and i always want to show my best side to others. like on Y!A its so much easier since its anonymous but i've never had a friend that i could say so much to. the most i've been able to talk about with is my mom but there are still a lot of things i haven't been able to say. i wish i could get a good enough friend like i am to other people. it always seems like i do so much like.. i really care about their problems and all you know. and i dont know anyone like me like with my sense of humor, music taste, and everything. sometimes theres one thing in someone else that we'd have in common, like music, but we cant get along otherwise. its just dissapointing.. i've only had 3 people i'd count as best friends and that was in 4th grade. it just seems like 5th grade til now have been like an open field and i hate it. im not like depressed or suicidal.. im actually really optimisic. always dreaming. like im not even sure that if my life currently was sucking i'd be able to tell. my life doesn't suck, im grateful for a lot of things and all.
like i dont really do much and all now. ugh enough with that, im venturing off the topic, sorry. i have issues with overtalkativeness too, heh.
anyways, if anyone had a problem like that.. like say one of my friends had a phobia of centipedes. i hate centipedes as well but i can still kill one. like i'd be sensitive about that and not be like "your just exagerating and just doing it so you dont have to kill it." like i guess you just dont really know. so just have the benefit of the doubt you know, if it really wont harm you to do it. like i dont know what to do about my situation if it gets worse. i just hate explaining it. i dont know how to make it not sound fake. how to make it sound right. like me saying "it makes me feel uncomfortable" like ugh that just doesnt work. i dont know how to be certain i have claustrophobia too or i dont know. I didnt want to attempt to solve it tonight either.. and probably fail.
ugh please help me and sorry for this ridiculously huge question
*Name has been changed.
The advice below pretty much narrowed down what I was going to put down. ^^
But I'm still going to add a little more so here it goes~
Claustrophobia is often misunderstood since many people have never actually experienced it, and so make excuses to saying that it's just a joke. Don't let that idea get into your head because that's their own problem. Anyway, you really want to have your family at least be able to understand your situation so it'd be wise to go see a doctor in order to actually give warnings to your family (hopefully that it'll wake them up!).
I like how you are able to comfort someone else when they have problems (a rare trait to find in my opinion ^^). This may sound cliche but, if you know someone that you're at least good friends with and you see that they're feeling down...take the stand and ask if they need to talk about it. I'm sure they'll love you more for that because everyone wants to be comforted by someone else.
Finding someone that shares the exact same interests as you is hard to come across cuz everyone has their own interests and traits. But just chat to someone about what's going on and talk about stuff that you already know~ no need to put up a fake front. I'm sure you'll find a friend or friends who'll understand your phobia, there are PLENTY of people out there who know how to understand and accept just as long as you open up to them about it. Try your best to explain.
Hoped this helped you! Take care~ =3
This guy and I have been talking a lot lately. I really love talking to him. The thing is, we met online. I'm really skeptical about the whole online dating thing. He's such a good guy though. I really love talking to him and being friends with him. The thing is, we barely ever talk about anything serious. I'm just not sure how to bring anything serious into a conversation. I can't say I completely trust him, cause we met online. Plus i've only known him for a few months. I do trust him enough to tell him some things. Like if i'm upset he can always tell, and he always asks if i'm okay. I really hate it because some of the times I just have to lie to him and tell him i'm fine. The reason for that is I don't like talking about my problems and stuff because I feel like i'm complaining and i don't want to be annoying or anything. I really hate lieing to him. Anyway i'd really love to meet him and be friends with him after I finish high school. I don't want to rush anything because I really don't want to lose him or anything. He's really the only good friend I have right now. My question is, how can I bring up serious things when we talk and sound casual? Or at least bring up serious things in a conversation?
I agree with the first two comments that were posted earlier...you honestly have no clue to "who" exactly is this person you're chatting with and it is dangerous to give out personal information (obviously that's common knowledge by now).
Buuuut, I understand what you're going through since there's this person I met on the internet also and I know that it feels great to at least chat with someone that makes you feel like..."the real you (not sure how to exactly word it!)."
It's good that you're at least thinking about not giving out too much about your personal life, as many people make that mistake, but if you feel really down and you just have to take it out of your chest...it wouldn't hurt to chat it over if you trust him a little.
As long as you don't specifically name people, place, send pictures, so on and so forth. Word it like how other billions of people say about their problems, hopefully this would still make you safe. Since you want to talk serious with him, you definitely should ask him if you want to have conversations like that, first and then just see his reaction with his replies (but don't let your guard down even after he says he agrees to listen or something!).
I hope this advice was able to help you, even in a little way! Take care~ =3
22/f So i've had alot of battles between my mother and I. It started when I first got a boyfriend. She liked him until she heard he was my bf. Since then, nothing has been the same. We hadn't spoken for a few months when I first moved out and that was because I left on horrible terms. I did admit to my parents that I have done many wrongs to them, but my mom has never apologized for what she said to me. When I was 19,I found out that my mom was previously married @18 and had two sons who she had to give up for adoption because her ex forced her to.My parents kept it from us all our lives. At first I was angry,but then I felt sympathetic for her being she hasn’t seen her sons in years.The only reason why I found out about it, was because I knew something was fishy with my mom on the computer early in the morning all the time.She didn't realize that she printed this letter and picture twice, but when I looked,it was another man saying he wishes to see her.I couldn't believe what I saw!I didn't know how to tell my dad or if I was even the person to do so.My mom and I got into a fight that night and my dad was defending her so I spilled it!My dad was in disbelief at first,but once he saw that (and the other emails I found),he was very angry.Now that i'm older,my father confided in me on a past that I never understood when I was a kid.This "uncle" we used to see all the time was my mom's other that she cheated on my dad with.Never understood until now!It's a clear picture to me now...All my mom can tell me that day is that it was MY fault my mom was doing the emails and things... Not anyone else, but mine! Did I force her to find a guy? NO! I thought she was content with my dad! I couldn’t believe she blamed everyone but herself.Til this day,she has never admitted to her own wrong nor apologizing to me for blaming me.There isn’t a day that goes by that I hold resentment towards her,but she’s my mom,I don’t want to abandon her either!I live on my own with my boyfriend for the past 2 1/2 years now.I thought things started to get better, but everytime I try to have a talk about things on how I feel,etc, it always backfires and I feel alone in the end.My dad is such a passive person that he doesn’t ever say anything,but rather tells me to leave just to run away from the talk.They do everything for my little sister; pay her tuition,let her live on her own,pay her room/food,everything and she gets to do as she pleases!I cannot even get a moment for her to listen? I’ve turned my rebellion around and shown nothing but respect for them.When I was younger, I knew I was stupid! I have admitted to it and tried to show them that I’ve changed.All I want is for them to listen. Being so young, I’ve had nothing but many crying sessions in my life and I’ve become someone I don’t know anymore.I will admit there are times that I feel life isn’t worth living anymore.I’ve always had my parents,but now,I feel they’ve abandoned me and I have no one.
It's hard to know that your own family is turning their back against you and it's frustrating that it feels like you're in the bottom of the hole. But you can always strive to climb your way out...takes a lot of effort and patience.
Try talking to your family again and if they refuse to listen, take a stand for yourself and tell them that it's THEIR turn to listen to you now. You don't have to raise your voice, but just calmly tell them that the way their treating the relationship you all have now is greatly affecting you and that you're feeling hurt by their ignorance. Be honest as much as you can...it's hard to let it all out to them but it's better to tell your family soon. And if you have to, you can try explaining some parts of it to your boyfriend so that he can be there to support you.
Don't think you're ever alone...no matter what happens, the bonds that keep a family together is ALWAYS there, even if it's difficult to see it and through tough times.
I hope this helped you a little! Be strong and take the stand for yourself! =3
Long story short..my dad is 53 years old,he is a very smart man but I am afraid that he is homeless.I live in another state,and up until a few months ago we hadn't spoken in a number of years due to a nasty family fued.
My father was spoiled and coddled all of his life by my grandparents,who also raised me,he always has had a good job but his parents took care of everything for him so anything he earned he kept for himself.They have both passed away and now due to some family infighting over my grandparents estate between my father and his siblings, the family home was sold and what little money my father received from that is long gone.
I feel that he is homeless,but I am afraid to ask him,I don't know if I am ready to hear it.He always seems to be at a park everytime I talk to him even late at nite and although he has been working steadily remodeling homes I don't think he is making enough to support himself.
I guess my question is should I ask him or wait for him to tell me,and once I hear the truth ,ready or not, should I offer to help him?
Such harsh facts in life is hard to take in, but we can do something about them and change them for the better.
Helping your dad would be very supportive of you because you still care about him. It's probably hard for your father to let his child know about his hard times because he might feel humiliated or foolish. But be there to comfort him when he's doubting himself and just let him know that you'll be there whenever he needs you. Don't be afraid to give someone a helping hand because when you help someone you care about...it'll make a difference in their lives and they'll come to trust you more.
I hope this helped you a little! Take care and I'm sure your father will tell you everything! =3
i'm so sick of being invincible by my parents...
I get straight A's....right? and still yet i gain as much stress and shit from my parents as if i'm recieving straight F's. I asked my mom if my boyrfriend could come over tom. and she said yes and i'm sick so i decided to take a nap but before i headed towards my nap i made sure with my mom that it was okay... and she said of course!
then i get up a few hours later and she makes me fold the clothes it takes me an hour and then i asked her for some dinner and she said alright i'll give you some soup. So i sat at the computer and just checkd email and facebook and she started yelling at me at how i didn't study at all and such. i figured that it was going to take my mom like 6 mins to give me my soup but i didn't know she had to make it from scratch so THATS why i decided it won't kill to check my email.But honestly here me out.... I've finished a WHOLE 817 page SAT book within vacation.... and yet she still says that i don't study. and now she's saying how my boyfriend can't come over now and honestly truthfully my heart it does hurt physically and emotionally i don't know what to say or what to do... My parents just say i'm talking back when all i'm trying to do is state a point.
Parents normally just head straight out and start taking out their pissed off mood to their kids, which you can't really do much about because parents are human...they have their bad days and get stressed out a lot.
This may appear unfair but, just let your parents yell their brains out at you. I mean, once they've stopped nagging and all, you can easily let it slide because you know that you have good grades and that you're not doing anything that's offending them greatly. And eventually, your parents stop yelling and walk away...and while they walk away, they start thinking of their actions. Pissed off at first but guilt has its way to come in and they grow confused.
Find the time after all that and sit down to talk it over with them and how they've been treating you, and also how it's hurting you a little. If they start interrupting you, just calmly tell them that THEY need to listen to you this time. You have to take the stand and speak what are in your thoughts to them. And if they still somewhat doubt about your grades, let them check your grades online or from quiz/test papers, to let them know that you're doing perfectly fine in school.
As for your boyfriend...there will be other days for him come over to your house.
Hoped this helped you a little! Good luck! =3
just wondering if anyone knows of any websites where i could download songs for free for my new mp3 i got for christmas!!
thanks in advance!!
-cutechick24
You can try out btjunkie.com, it's a great site for any songs and videos you wish to download. =3
I work a 9-5 job and are in the freeway for about 2 hours coming home and don't know what to do to keep in shape. I work in an office and therefore I don't do much exercise. I was thinking of going to the gym but the only two gyms really close to my house are three:
Women's gym : a bit smaller then others but has dancing classes
24 Hours: it gets really full of people in the evenings
LA Fitness: about 5 miles away in the fwy and it has various locations
What would you suggest I do?? I have a treadmill at home but maybey the gym will distract me from the routine (working & going home)
Thanks 4 your help
You can get the chance to go and buy some other fitness equipment so that you can sort of have your own personal gym while at home. Getting exercise videos would help too, usually they're about
30 minutes-an hour long, depending on the pace of the instructor. But yeah, it's up to you. You can switch from the gym to your home and vice verse.
If you'd like, you can jog around the neighborhood because it can also distract you from your daily routine from work to home since you can change directions from a few places.
Hole this helped you! =3
sorry i didnt know under which category to put this.
erm so some ppl say that in year 1012 the poles are shifting or smth and that its the end of the world.
is this true???? :[
It's best to not actually believe in things that we are so unsure of. I mean, the end of the world in 2012 appears on the Mayan calender but..there have been many predictions of the world coming to an end from the past in which none of them really came true. Sure there were the usual numbers of natural disasters but no major events like a world-wide explosion or of some sort.
Just live out your life normally and if the day actually comes...well, not much you can do really. =3
What is the most painless way to commit suicide?....The only thought that provides any degree of solace to me is death. I do not want to live anymore, there is no other way to end the pain. I tried paracetamol in my 20`s (am in 30`s now) and they just pumped my stomach. I fell in love with a married woman (yes I know there was no future) but I just don`t wanna live as the memories are killing me. The memories and love wont go away, despite the fact that she cheated on me. So anyway I have high BP and am being monitored for my heart rate regularly by my Dcotor. I have not taken my prescrption for some time and thank goodness my BP level has risen again but this is not working. I have taken to smoking a shisha pipe as well, so my health is pretty bad right now but it`s taking too long. The thought of death is the only comfort available to me, dpoes anyone understand this? Please just recommend an easy an painless way to die as I am a complete an utter coward, have no career prospects and have no ambition. I am not mentally ill but just want to die. I pray to God every night to take me but thts not working either, so anyone got any advice on the most painless way to commit to kill myself?
How do you suppose that killing yourself is going to solve all your problems? How do you suppose that death is going to set you free from your sadness, loneliness, frustration, or stress? You only have one life, just ONE. Wasting it all, no matter how bad or good your life has been, just isn't going to bring you peace and solitude in the afterlife. All that pain and sorrow will only deepen further, running away isn't going to save you from those things. Either you continue to woe in pain over it still or you can begin to learn and do something about it and start looking forward to a be in a better future. Look, life never appears to be fair to any of us, it can beat us down to the ground and crush us...but with a little effort, you can stand right back up. Take the time to sit down...recollect your thoughts and just...tell yourself of what you CAN do and all the good traits you have. Aite, it's cheesy, but its a step.
You have memories, and you take it wherever and anywhere you go. Memories are sometimes the most painful and tortuous things to remember...so it's hard to accept them and it's okay if you begin to cry, because you're never alone. We all cry whenever memories sweep through our heads. But eventually, we DO accept them because those memories are exactly what makes us who we are. You have to persevere no matter how hurtful a memory can be, and just step out of those memories...because that's exactly what they are...things of the past. You don't have to be trapped in them otherwise you won't go anywhere and you'll be lost. Step out of them, and do hobbies that you normally would like to do. It's the time to recuperate and mend yourself. Take a stroll somewhere and take in what's in life that you haven't experience before.
Life not only has its ups and downs, but also has many surprises. You may never know what they are but they do come for you and it's what makes newer memories for you to keep and step out off to make other new ones as well. No matter how painful or wonderful a memory can be, you gotta step out and make other ones again because memories are endless. Persevere in things you do, that's all I can say...and never,EVER let the thought of ending your own life cross your mind because it'll take you nowhere but towards your own nightmares.
Please take the time to reconsider your actions and think it over, consult it over with someone you trust most...just don't let death overcome you.
Hope this helped you though... =3
Hey, im 16f. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas of things that I could do with my mom so we can do something that both of us will be involved and interested in. I was thinking when i get my liscence in a few weeks I could maybe drive her somewhere for a surprise activity, since we dont live in the city. I was thinking maybe a movie,mini golfing,or a spa. Any ideas would be great
Aww that's a really great idea and cute too! ^-^
Well you can...go shopping in whatever outlet or store is available. Get your nails done, eat out somewhere, of course...movies~ or just take her out on a ride somewhere beautiful, and drive on for hours!
Hoped this helped! =3
I'm a freshman in high school and turned 14 about 5 months ago. Over the summer I started dating this guy, whose name will be X for the sake of saving space and keeping my identity somewhat hidden. X is my first boyfriend and he's a great guy. Our problem is that we go to two different schools. I barely get to see him. The last time we hung out was about 2 months ago. We've been keeping our relationship a secret because my parents are extremely idiotic and think that their daughter (me) shouldn't have a boyfriend until she's 16 at least. So because of this I can't leave my house to see him because I know they won't take me anywhere. A few weeks ago my dad found out about me and X because my brother was a snitch and told him. My dad yelled at me for a while but never told me to break up with X so I haven't. I love X but its pretty much impossible to see him unless he sneaks over like last time. What the heck should I do?
Parents are naturally overprotective of who their kids are "hanging out" with. But keeping a relationship secret would cause parents to eventually find out from whatever sources they have, which is what happened with your dad. And it seems that your dad hasn't mentioned about your relationship to your mom...which probably means that he wants YOU to be able to tell her instead of him.
Take the chance now to sit down and discuss it with your parents. Let them know that you really love X and that you both haven't crossed the line or anything. Talking it over with them rather than brooding over what to do next and keeping it a secret for longer, shows that you've done a mature thing because you had the guts to stand up for yourself and X! Plus, hopefully your parents begin to trust you more since you let them know of what's going on. They don't show it for a couple of...days, weeks even...but they have to come to the fact that you're responsible for this relationship and that they have to trust you in it. Tough to admit but...trust can have many surprises~
Hoped this helped a little and I wish you luck! =3
14/f
Okay, so last year in 8th grade I had a group of 5 of my best friends. We always hung out and told each other everything. Now I'm in high school and the 2 middle schools combined. I have a lot of friends, I'm cool with almost everyone in the grade. I have really good friends in scattered groups. But I have one problem. I've really been excluded from my circle of best friends. We'll talk in school and hug sometimes, but nothing else. They don't tell me anything anymore, they don't call me or text unless it's for homework help. They don't invite me to hang out. One of them had 3 parties this school year and didn't tell me about any of them. I know I didn't do anything wrong... it's like they don't even realize it. I'm sick of having best friends in scattered groups because I just want to hangout with my own group sometimes! I haven't hung out with anyone this whole school year... literally at all. Besides going to the gym with one of those scattered group friends. I don't know what to do. Everyone in my old group wears such cool clothes and they have sleepovers and trade clothes and I have no sense of fashion. I always wear jeans, sweatshirt, and sneakers. They always compliment each other on what they're wearing but never me. They'll ditch me in the middle of the cafeteria and it's nearly impossible to find a new seat somewhere else. They all have had/have boyfriends and have hooked up plenty of times. I've done neither. I'm not as pretty as all of them, not nearly. They included more girls into the group that they met just this year and now they always invite those girls to hang out and trade clothes. I lost my best friends and now it's like they are just friends to me. They all have a video-making thing on Facebook but none of them have ever made a video on my wall. I feel like my life is in turmoil. I can't stand it. I get sick thinking about how I have no group of friends to hang out with on the weekends. My clothes aren't cool enough for them to care about. I don't know as much amazing music as them so they never ask for cds and never make me any. I tried telling one of them how I feel online but she just stopped answering me and entered a video chat with someone. I'm desperate. I don't know how to get these old friends back. I've tried to think of cool outfits but I can't pull it off and I don't have a great body like they all do. I'm hanging on a thread here trying to fit in. They're all friends with sophomores and juniors and they go to a lot of their parties that I've never been invited to. I just don't fit in and I don't want to try "finding new friends". I wake up everyday and I honestly just wish I was someone else, someone they wanted to be around all the time. I don't know what to do. I'm not going through my highschool years friendless and not having any fun or hanging out at all. Help.
In all honesty, just be the person who you are now. I know it gets repetitive to hear those same words over and over again, but they are true to their meaning. No matter what others may say...no matter what they do, they can't change who you really are. Don't let your friends' opinions affect the person you are now. Don't let their opinions put pressure on yourself just to be like them...I really do understand your situation and it's hard to push the thought of what others think about you away. But we all have to realize that just because we want to feel "belonged," we end up doing things that we regret and hide our true selves just for the sake of being noticed. And because we do things that normally go against what our true beliefs are, we end up becoming more frustrated and lost.
You don't have to change into a person who you don't know, just to be "cool." Being yourself is what would make you unique than others. And also, it's understandable that being pushed away by best friends is like torture...but there are plenty of people in your school that you can make bests friends out of! Don't feel like your social status is just limited to a certain group...just hang out with other people. There comes a time in life that we have to say goodbye to close friends, and it also takes as long for us to recuperate from the feelings of depression, stress, and anger after we lose them. But we get by and make new ones...there's a whole world out there with people who CAN and WILL be your best friend(s)! People can't help but find unexpected friends from unexpected places. I'm not saying that you should just ignore your old friends, if they want to talk to you, talk to them back.
Take the step to hangout with other groups in your school...honestly, staying with just one group for the rest of your high school years is gonna get kind of boring and annoying. Open up to other people and before you know...you've got a pack load of friends because they'll like you for just being yourself.
I hope this was of some help and I wish you luck! Take care! =3