|
Giving up.
My life has hit rock bottom. I have no hope left for myself. This year has been one of the worst years I have faced in the 20 years of my life. My college grades are anything but good. My dog passed away last month. My boyfriend of 8 months who I love, is hurt because i lied to him that i was a virgin. He won't even talk to me properly. I have absolutely no friends who I can talk to about anything. I want to end my life. I just cant continue living in pain each day with no one around to take care of me or just hold me and say that "It's gonna be okay". I try to optimistic but I'm just too lonely. What do I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Never ever give up. Your life is like valleys and mountains, and I'm sure you've heard that cliche before but its true. Things always get brighter. Maybe a visit to see your parents would improve things? Find a new hobby. Join a hiking group. Get outdoors and connect with whatever you find calming. Meditation helps me, even if I don't shut down totally, just being in a peaceful outdoor spot gives me a new outlook on life. All bad things resolve. Your problems will change. Imagine yourself 20 yrs. from now. Will you have a family? A job? A new dog? Don't consider suicide. People do care about you. No matter what you think.
]
Hey,
so life is a like a book in that life is made of chapters. You can have a bad chapter (like what you are experiencing now) but it is important to realise that you will soon come to a good chapter.
I know when you are experiencing the bad stuff you can’t see how it could possibly get better, how you could possibly be happy, but trust me one day you wake up and realise you haven’t thought about death in awhile, that you are happy and you can see your future, whether it’s is as a mother or in a career or travelling around Europe when you are older.
First off you need to talk to your boyfriend. He needs to realise that you are human and made a mistake. Explain why you lied about it, how you feel. If things don’t get better consider moving on, you need to steer your life in a positive direction and him holding it over you is not fair on you or him.
I don’t know how he is feeling. Maybe he is embarrassed that he was a virgin and you were not (if you have had sex) or that when it comes to it that you will be more experienced than him. He has no right to your body and the fact that you have had sex before is nothing to be ashamed of and he does not have the right to make you feel ashamed.
It’s easy for me being on the outside to tell you to talk to your boyfriend but that’s what I think you should do. Tell him you’re sorry for lying. Why you lied to him. How you feel. Explain you are feeling like no one loves you and that you think your life isn’t worth holding on to. If he doesn’t forgive you or offer his support he isn’t worth holding on to.
Life is precious and when you are going through a bad patch it is so so important to realise you deserve to be happy. One day you will look back on this time and shake your head and wonder how you could ever of thought of ending your life, so full of promise.
Please realise suicide is the most selfish thing someone could ever do. Your boyfriend may be mad at you but it would destroy him if you were to kill yourself. Your poor family, I’m not sure what your family situation is like but I can assure you they do love you and for the rest of their lives they will have to live with the guilt of not being able to help you. It will shatter the rest of their lives.
Can I recommend you read some ‘chicken soup for the soul’ books. It really puts your life in perspective. They are stories about uplifting people or teenagers who write about experiences they have had. Loss of friends/family (from accidents, suicides). Stories about hope. Happy stories! Chicken soup for the teenage soul could be a good place to start (even though we are no longer teens at 20!). It is very eye opening reading stories from teens who had tried to commit suicide because they didn’t see a way out or future until one day something changes and they realise how blinded they had been by their own pain, to forget about hope.
Another thing is to look at what you are studying at college, are you passionate in it? I studied for two years, failing a lot until I finally realised I was doing something I had no motivation for. Now I am doing something I love and it is a lot easier to study. If this is not the case though then it is your current relationship with your boyfriend that is causing your hard time a college. Therefore it really needs to change in order to ensure the rest of your life stays on track.
If he doesn’t forgive you then he can’t honestly love you, lying about being a virgin is not that bad. If you cheated on him ok he has every right to be upset and not forgive you, but this seems so minor to cause such disruption in your life.
It also sounds like you need something in your life to relieve stress. Sport is a great way for meeting new people, having something you can escape to to sort out your thoughts. Social is a great idea. Use google to find your nearest club for say tennis, netball, soccer, cycling, I don’t know what ever you are interested in. There may be book clubs, movie clubs, photography clubs. Just go along and be open to new experiences.
Volunteer your time at not-for-profit organisations. Do you have a local YWCA? You need to get out and mix with new and different people, making new friends. There are so many organisations out there! Try googling for some in your area. It so easy to feel lonely but it is just as easy to do something about it, find the courage to want to help yourself and take a risk.
Are you religious? My sister has started going to church groups after feeling lonely, mixing with people her own age she has a great time.
There are lots of clubs and groups at colleges. Join a social college sport team or some other type of club.
You can also approach your tutor/lecturer for extra help if you need it. Approach someone in your class if they would like to start a study group, you can help each other. Perhaps lighten you course load. If you find it too stressful drop a paper and do what you can manage. Later on you can always increase you work load.
Remember this: there is ALWAYS a way out, ALWAYS something to live for. And I promise you you will live through this time in your life and come out stronger.
Please if you don’t feel you are improving go see someone. Colleges have excellent health services available. See a counsellor or psychologist. (lots of people do!..and that’s what they are paid for by the college). Talking about it makes it so much better. If you need help dealing with your boyfriend ask your mum perhaps, or a counsellor. There are so many people who will want to help you, let them, first by opening up.
I feel for you, you remind me of me a bit. I lose myself in books and watching anime. Do you have a love? a hobby? Everyone needs something to escape to.
]
One suggestion I can give you is to face the problems you're dealing with instead of being "optimistic" to cover it up. There is nothing wrong with appreciating the dark times. It's a beautiful thing. If you deny yourself of the feelings you're experiencing right now, they'll always be a part of you. Don't be afraid to feel lost. Being losts leads to being found. The key is not to rush the process :)
]
To put it bluntly, life can suck and somehow it has the ability to bring you to the ground. But you also have that same chance to stand up and think about what you can do to make things much better for yourself. Even though it may seem like life is cruel, in a way it's more of a guiding hand to help you develop to the person you wish to be. No matter how many times life can beat us down, it gives us a supporting hand to continue forward, learn from our past mistakes, and grow stronger in the near future...life does these harsh things to people so to realize our potentials and for us to take the stand to take control of our lives.
First off: your grades. Take into consideration as to what the others advised before this one. Studying is the only solution when it comes to academic rewards. Apparently it's understandable when you're stressed out, you're not entirely to keen to the idea of motivating yourself to study. But think of studying as an escape to your problems. Primarily your mind is focused on studying, answering/pondering questions, and memorizing so you could use this as a motivation to keep your grades up.
Losing a dear, close friend (especially someone you consider your family) is hard to get through. I know the feeling, but all I can say is...you will eventually grow to accept it all. Take the time to remember precious memories you had with your dog. They may be mourned over but memories are special...those happy and sad moments you spent with your dog are what you can consider as entities of him/her (I apologize, but the gender wasn't mentioned :p). Reminiscing the past will make you cry, but he/she will always be with you so long as you keep those memories close to you and that is something that we can all be thankful for...to have memoirs of those we love.
As I've said before, when life brings you down, push yourself to make a stand. Talk to your boyfriend and if he ignores you, just tell him to listen even if he won't say anything.
Handling things on your own can be frightening and so we seek the comfort of others. It's natural for people to feel that way. Why not take the chance to go and ask someone for help with your studies? After all, you're hoping to improve on your grades. Alright, the thought of randomly asking someone to help you can be a bit nerve-racking but there's always someone out there bound to be friends with you. Everyone can't help but reach out to others. Consider this option at least. Everything has a way to turn out for the best, but you have to be patient for it and sometimes you even have to push for it.
I hope this was of some help...and it will all be alright~ I wish you luck! ^-^
]
Okay, your life is a total mess at present.
"At present"...... that is important.
The Present soon becomes the Past, it can never become the Future.
So tell yourself, "This moment too, shall pass".
10 years, 20 years down the line, you won't even remember how this bf of yours of 8 months, even looked (perhaps).
Perhaps you will not meet a person you like so much, ever again.
On the other hand, there's a good enough chance that you WILL.
You ahve the internet.... that's your Friend (with a Capital 'F', at the moment). It's your BEST friend.
In a few weeks, or months, you will make a friend or two in real-time. You can fight with them or love them, as you feel..... that's for later.
If you study, maybe your grades will improve?
If you don't want to / can't focus on studies, you can think of taking a semester off from your studies, while you organize your life.
And here's the REAL advice... go to a shop that sells herbal products and take St. John's Wort, it'll help you get out of the mess you are in.
It's safe to take and non-addicting. Just TAKE IT.
Your Friend.
]
look,
Its never the end. if your collage grades are dropping than obviously you need to study harder and focaus on school a little more. i have had the same problem but i studied and they sky rocketed. i know it hurts when you loose a dog or a animal you loved, i had a chawawa and my little brother took it and threw it outside and it died of impact because he threw my dog to hard. i wanted to kill him. look the best thing you can do with your bf is try your hardest to make it better. keep telling him your sorry and you didnt want it to be like this. if he really loves you he will talk to you a little more. you need to tell your bf how you feel. i think thats best. the only thing i can say to sum this up is that everythng will get better in time.
]
First off, in order to get over your problems in life you have to learn to be thankful. God did not have to wake you up this wonderful day, but he did so because your time is not up. your close to a break trough just hold on. and as far as your boyfriend goes you have only been with him for eight month anyway it was not to be. the man up stairs might just have something better! and this may or may not mean much but " I's gonna be okay" I know what the report says but then what did God Say?!! i hope my words help and good luck with your life from here on out!!!!!!
]
More Questions: |