I'm a freshman in high school and turned 14 about 5 months ago. Over the summer I started dating this guy, whose name will be X for the sake of saving space and keeping my identity somewhat hidden. X is my first boyfriend and he's a great guy. Our problem is that we go to two different schools. I barely get to see him. The last time we hung out was about 2 months ago. We've been keeping our relationship a secret because my parents are extremely idiotic and think that their daughter (me) shouldn't have a boyfriend until she's 16 at least. So because of this I can't leave my house to see him because I know they won't take me anywhere. A few weeks ago my dad found out about me and X because my brother was a snitch and told him. My dad yelled at me for a while but never told me to break up with X so I haven't. I love X but its pretty much impossible to see him unless he sneaks over like last time. What the heck should I do?
I had the same dating rule for my kids and
believe it or not, they got along fine. You
need to talk to both your parents. I'm sure
your dad has already mentioned this all to
your mom anyway. They may agree to allow you
to see this guy with supervision or with a
group of kids. They may even decide since
you approached them about it in an adult
manner, INSTEAD of sneaking around, that its
ok for you to date.
blublue24 answered Wednesday December 31 2008, 11:33 pm: Parents are naturally overprotective of who their kids are "hanging out" with. But keeping a relationship secret would cause parents to eventually find out from whatever sources they have, which is what happened with your dad. And it seems that your dad hasn't mentioned about your relationship to your mom...which probably means that he wants YOU to be able to tell her instead of him.
Take the chance now to sit down and discuss it with your parents. Let them know that you really love X and that you both haven't crossed the line or anything. Talking it over with them rather than brooding over what to do next and keeping it a secret for longer, shows that you've done a mature thing because you had the guts to stand up for yourself and X! Plus, hopefully your parents begin to trust you more since you let them know of what's going on. They don't show it for a couple of...days, weeks even...but they have to come to the fact that you're responsible for this relationship and that they have to trust you in it. Tough to admit but...trust can have many surprises~
bella8875 answered Wednesday December 31 2008, 2:45 pm: you could have friends over and invite him
over also.
or you can say your going out with friends
and you can meet up with him [ bella8875's advice column | Ask bella8875 A Question ]
AnonymousAdvisor answered Wednesday December 31 2008, 10:17 am: I agree with babegyal.
I think you should sit your mom down, by herself.
Tell her about this relationship with this guy, tell her he's a really great guy, and you'd atleast like to spend SOME time with him.
Your dad's just being a dad.
My dad still has problems with me going out, and I'm almost sixteen.
Your mom may be thinking of how she acted as a kid your age, maybe she thinks she done something that she dont want you to make the mistake of doing, early sex maybe? I don't know.
You definately don't need to let your brother know anything about the relationship, brothers tend to twist things a little.
I dont think you should bring up sex however, unless your mom does.
Good luck with your boyfriend!
Hope I helped!
AA [ AnonymousAdvisor's advice column | Ask AnonymousAdvisor A Question ]
babeegyal16 answered Wednesday December 31 2008, 9:04 am: well 1st your dad is well a dad so is very over protective of his little girl(trust me i know!!). your mum on the other hand has most likely been in the same situation as you as yes believie it or not she was a teenage girl aswell.
you should sit your mum down (alone no brothers,dads etc)and explain to her that you really like this lad and it upsets you that your not allowed to see him. tell her you kept it a secret because you knew how they would react.
you have to ensure your parents you arent having sex bacause that is the reason they dont want you to have a bf. just say you dont think about sex because you think your to young and your both not ready(even if you are or already have shhh she doesnt need to know that;)) but then say when you are ready you will tell your mum(or wait until your older before you tell your mum just dont let her no that) and that you know where to get condoms from if you ever need them and if that dont work tell her your friends all have bfs so f**k off hehe
good luck luvvi :D
xx [ babeegyal16's advice column | Ask babeegyal16 A Question ]
MrsCarter answered Wednesday December 31 2008, 1:57 am: wow thats crazy i had the same situation. im 14 and i just ended a two year relationship with a guy because he moved an hour away. I had gone through a lot with him and our color differences and my parents. so it was hard to go see him like i never couldbecause my parents would make an excuse. i was and still am totally in love with him. but i ended up breaking up with him from that long. honestly i think that if you really think you love him you should stay with him because in the end your going to look at it and say wow i can't believe the mistake i made. hope i helped a little :) [ MrsCarter's advice column | Ask MrsCarter A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.