|
no best friends
14/f
Okay, so last year in 8th grade I had a group of 5 of my best friends. We always hung out and told each other everything. Now I'm in high school and the 2 middle schools combined. I have a lot of friends, I'm cool with almost everyone in the grade. I have really good friends in scattered groups. But I have one problem. I've really been excluded from my circle of best friends. We'll talk in school and hug sometimes, but nothing else. They don't tell me anything anymore, they don't call me or text unless it's for homework help. They don't invite me to hang out. One of them had 3 parties this school year and didn't tell me about any of them. I know I didn't do anything wrong... it's like they don't even realize it. I'm sick of having best friends in scattered groups because I just want to hangout with my own group sometimes! I haven't hung out with anyone this whole school year... literally at all. Besides going to the gym with one of those scattered group friends. I don't know what to do. Everyone in my old group wears such cool clothes and they have sleepovers and trade clothes and I have no sense of fashion. I always wear jeans, sweatshirt, and sneakers. They always compliment each other on what they're wearing but never me. They'll ditch me in the middle of the cafeteria and it's nearly impossible to find a new seat somewhere else. They all have had/have boyfriends and have hooked up plenty of times. I've done neither. I'm not as pretty as all of them, not nearly. They included more girls into the group that they met just this year and now they always invite those girls to hang out and trade clothes. I lost my best friends and now it's like they are just friends to me. They all have a video-making thing on Facebook but none of them have ever made a video on my wall. I feel like my life is in turmoil. I can't stand it. I get sick thinking about how I have no group of friends to hang out with on the weekends. My clothes aren't cool enough for them to care about. I don't know as much amazing music as them so they never ask for cds and never make me any. I tried telling one of them how I feel online but she just stopped answering me and entered a video chat with someone. I'm desperate. I don't know how to get these old friends back. I've tried to think of cool outfits but I can't pull it off and I don't have a great body like they all do. I'm hanging on a thread here trying to fit in. They're all friends with sophomores and juniors and they go to a lot of their parties that I've never been invited to. I just don't fit in and I don't want to try "finding new friends". I wake up everyday and I honestly just wish I was someone else, someone they wanted to be around all the time. I don't know what to do. I'm not going through my highschool years friendless and not having any fun or hanging out at all. Help.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
In all honesty, just be the person who you are now. I know it gets repetitive to hear those same words over and over again, but they are true to their meaning. No matter what others may say...no matter what they do, they can't change who you really are. Don't let your friends' opinions affect the person you are now. Don't let their opinions put pressure on yourself just to be like them...I really do understand your situation and it's hard to push the thought of what others think about you away. But we all have to realize that just because we want to feel "belonged," we end up doing things that we regret and hide our true selves just for the sake of being noticed. And because we do things that normally go against what our true beliefs are, we end up becoming more frustrated and lost.
You don't have to change into a person who you don't know, just to be "cool." Being yourself is what would make you unique than others. And also, it's understandable that being pushed away by best friends is like torture...but there are plenty of people in your school that you can make bests friends out of! Don't feel like your social status is just limited to a certain group...just hang out with other people. There comes a time in life that we have to say goodbye to close friends, and it also takes as long for us to recuperate from the feelings of depression, stress, and anger after we lose them. But we get by and make new ones...there's a whole world out there with people who CAN and WILL be your best friend(s)! People can't help but find unexpected friends from unexpected places. I'm not saying that you should just ignore your old friends, if they want to talk to you, talk to them back.
Take the step to hangout with other groups in your school...honestly, staying with just one group for the rest of your high school years is gonna get kind of boring and annoying. Open up to other people and before you know...you've got a pack load of friends because they'll like you for just being yourself.
I hope this was of some help and I wish you luck! Take care! =3
]
I know what you mean about the whole friends splitting up and in different groups and stuff. It happened to me. But its not hard to make new friends. I know its not fun "looking" for new friend but it isn't hard. If you open up more and find people more like you and into stuff that your into can help. I had classes without any of my friends. I felt so awkward and alone. But if you open up more it will help and you will have friends. Trust me. Now I have lots of friends and its great. Don't go and try to fit in. Be your own person. It doesn't hurt to have a sense of fashion either. You can find clothes that are cute and will fit you and your body. Just because you don't have a perfect body doesn't mean your not good enough. Those kind of girls who think that are not the kind you want to hang out with because sooner or later they will put you down. Go to the store and look around and find some cute clothes that will flatter you and your body. Open up a bit more too and go out and make some friends! You can do it and you'll make it through the year.
]
Baby girl first of all let me tell you this...and I want you to read this next line over and over again.
Do not change who you are for ANYONE.
Be yourself, thats all you can be. Because no one likes a fake person; you have to be true to yourself.
If I knew a long time ago what I know I would be a lot better off. People change, maybe they've just developed different interests now...but instead of being decent about it they're being little you know whats. And maybe it's just because girls ARE you know whats. It seems like you're just going to have to find new friends, but that's not so bad. Alienating yourself won't do anything but make you unhappier so just don't worry about them...it's their loss. They may even realize that lost a good friend somewhere down the road. Find new friends and try to have fun. Keep your head up.
]
More Questions: |