I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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I know I am at times and though I try not to be, I feel myself slip into thinking that I am amazing and that I simply have qualities that other people lack. I seem to sometimes think that I understand things better than other people, that I am deep, and that I have greater intellect than other people. But that obviously isn't true, because we are all so different and each person has something remarkable to bring to this world. No one has ever told me that I am self centered, because I tend to be nice to everyone, it's just that in my mind I classify people and judge them and look for their bad qualities. I think I do it subconsciously to make me feel better about myself. I believe my arrogance comes from my insecurity. I had lower self-esteem a year or so ago, so I'm recovering from that, and I have been hurt by many guys before. I guess this is simply how I cope with my insecurities. But I'm trying so hard to give love to my friends and to everyone I meet. I don't want it to be me versus the world. I want to be part of a world, and united with people, rather that to isolate myself in my arrogance. I hope someone can help me to work on this issue. How can I become a better person? Thank you so much :) (link)
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It's amazing. When I read this question, I was wondering for a few seconds as to whether I'd asked this question and I'd forgotten about it because this is who I am; arrogant at times, but I like to help other people as well and be kind to them.
It's hard to stop being arrogant. I mean, people say "Oh stop being so arrogant" or something of that nature and you know, I always think that sometimes, being arrogant can be a part of somebody's personality and it's hard to change who you are. I know I'm arrogant and I learn from my mistakes and I still make some of them. One really big one is to think that everybody's business is my business and I tend to interfere. It's only like afterwards that I realize it and regret it, but you know, you've just to keep on going.
When I first came to my senior school, I judged everybody and only looked for the negatives in them and now, three years later, I know so much more about them and my views on my peers changed dramatically. However, the reason for my arrogance was because I was scared of being rejected by others and I was (and still am) terrified of what other people think of me. Even when I wear new clothes I would find myself trembling because I would be scared as to how they would take it!!! But I took a huge leap of faith (for me in any case) and I began to talk to them and socialized with them more and now I feel more...relaxed that what I once was and able to be open to anybody new...still working on that one!!! Another thing which I found which helped was this column. Me being able to be who I really was and helping others, helped me in turn to let my guard down and get the stage where I am now: accepted by others for who I am.
Whoa, turning into a life story this!!! Anyway, the point is, is to let your guard down a little and just listen to what other people say. Open your mind to how they act, what they say etc. because that could reveal a different side to them which you weren't aware of before and could open a door to a new friendship. I learn something new about the people who I live and work with everyday. When you meet new people, don't let first impressions get to you, wait for a while and see how you feel about them. You've been hurt by others, which means that you're stronger than before, which means if it happens again, you can pull yourself through again and become even more stronger (emotionally, that is).
Let your arrogance run away with you at times because it can help you get grounded again and focused. It's never good to try and be perfect and never think highly of yourself: it's healthy to. If not, you'll constantly be putting yourself under others and eventually, it could come to the point where you think you're worthless and not fight back. So keep that in mind.
It's also good to try and find the bad qualities in other people first because then, you've got the good side to work on whilst the bad side is already there, so you aren't shocked if that person did something which you didn't expect they would do. So it's also a good thing to do it, but don't let that bad side run the image of that person.
As for being part of the world, just be united with you friends and family and that should be sufficient enough. And remember, if you do get into arguments over something, bear in mind that the other person could be right as well.
Wow, this has to be the most personal answer I've ever given and I hope it helps!!
triquetra
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if you wanna tag a pic of yourself in someone elses album do they get a notice that you want to be tagged or just it just tag you? cause i noticed with the new facebook you just get tagged as soon as you tag yourself.. (link)
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I guess you can tag anybody you want really. I've never noticed that you had to approve it, you just get notified that they've tagged somebody by e-mail and that's it. You can control whether you want to get tagged or not by just clicking 'remove tag' underneath the picture which you're tagged it.
As long as the owner has allowed people to do whatever they want with the picture, then that should be fine.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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18/f
hey guys. well me and my best friend go to different colleges. i miss her like nobody would ever believe. she is about an hour and a half away from where i am. i was just wondering if anyone knew any good quotes about like friendship and distance. how distance means nothing and that we'll always be friends no matter what happens! thanks [: (link)
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"... anytime you need a friend, I will be here. Never be alone again, so don't you fear. Even if you're miles away, I'm by your side..."
- Anytime You Need A Friend - Mariah Carey
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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so a lover of mine told me she was going to kill herself, this was a week ago. and now her phone is off when trying to call, i have tried every way possible to get in contact with her. And i think she's done it. She lived in York and just.... i have no idea what to do. i've been seriously considering following suite, life just doesn't seem worth going on when the one person i have ever loved, kills themselves.
I can't sleep at night, i've even been sick. the idea that she is no longer here. (link)
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You need to go to her place instantly and see whether she's answering the door. Ask her neighbours if they've seen her and ask them to help you get inside because you're worried about her. It's vital to know that she's okay before taking any steps. Now, bear in mind that you think that she's done it, so please, please, please take every step possible to ensure what has happened.
In my column, I've got a metaphor at the very beginning, saying that life is a rollercoaster: full of the ups and downs and I believe that there is always a reason for everything. And I know that sometimes there doesn't seem to be a reason, but there is. I'm going to tell you a little story.
Last week, one of my peers attempted to take his own life...why? Because he loved somebody, but they didn't love him back. Thankfully, he was saved and now back at home. Silly reason isn't it? But not if you know what it's like to have felt true love for somebody and not have it returned, trust me, I've been there before.
And even now, I still try and find a reason to why he tried. And I think about the pain in which his family would go through if it had worked and what pain he would put his friends through and it always makes me wonder as to why kill yourself, when the true pain will be left with those left behind?
Imagine the pain which you'll be leaving with your family and friends if you do follow suite. It would be worse for them than for you, but the real question is: can you really do it?
Can you really find the strength within you to take all that is held dear to you, all the people that you've loved, all the things that you've seen, learnt and done in you life in one moment because of a broken heart? You've got to be a very strong person to do it.
I know that my friend did, but when he did it, he ran for help and that's what saved him in the end, his weakness to do it and to fulfill it. It sounds so simple on paper, but in real life, it's the hardest thing to do. So think about it and I hope to god that you don't do it, because it's just not something worth taking your life for.
I know that this last bit will sound cruel and unforgivable, but the only way to get over this is to grief, then move on. Otherwise, you won't be able to live your life. Think as to what she may've wanted you to do? Give up or keep on going?
This wasn't a lecture, a reminder as to what could happen as a result of it.
I hope this helps and I hope to god that you can pull yourself through this,
triquetra
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my bfs parents r tryin to break us up, n we cant see eachother alone, so wheres some good places we can go ina group of our friends n both us. that would be fun w him n with friends (link)
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Why are they trying to stop you two from seeing each other? I mean, there has to be a good reason and then you can try and work it out with the parents and that would mean that you wouldn't need to have to secret redevous with him.
Anyway, I would suggest places such as shopping centers or the park, somewhere where it is public, but you can can have your own private conversations and that should be fine and plus, you can go there is small or large groups depending as to where you want to meet up.
But talk to the parents as to why they aren't letting you see him. They must have a good reason to keep him away from you. I suspect the reason could be because they think that the two of you are seeing each other and don't want him to get into a relationship yet. If that is the case, make it very clear to them that you're only just friends and that nothing is going on. But that's only what I think, you need to find out.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok i want to know if there is a way to turn your pee purple my brother told me that if i eat a rose that would do it cause he's done it but with it being oct right now it's kinda hard to find one ya know? and the reson behind wanting to know this is my friend sent me a text with a pick of his pee and it was bright yellow haha but i want to have some pee thats not yellow i want him to freak out thats why i'm thinking purple or blue like would food dye help?
thanks so much (link)
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Eat lots of beetroot. That should be enough.
triquetra
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17/f
The short version:
Harassment. It`s happening. How do I make it stop?
The details:
I am in my final year of high school, enjoying the last chapter of my life as I know it before university. I have an amazing, small group of close friends. We walk our own path. Sure, we don`t always make the attempt to be getting drunk every weekend at parties, nor should we. We`re okay with always being together and we certainly don`t go out of our way to make other people feel bad. I volunteer, have marks to be proud of, and am an openly confident person.
On facebook, I`ll take the time to comment on my best friends' pictures, letting them know when they look great. Never in my life have I commented on a picture of myself saying I look amazing, I don`t feel the need; however, I do not put myself down under any circumstances either. It seems that the people in my grade cannot handle my confidence or independence from them.
A group of people have taken it upon themselves to attempt to copy the (professional looking) photos that my friends and I post. We love taking pictures and have received many compliments about our albums. I think that is awesome, I enjoy photography and am glad to hear that other people like my work. It`s an art form, to me it`s all about expressing my opinion, creating an captivating image, and presenting my talent. It just happens our photos are a little 'above average', it shouldn`t imply that we are conceited.
It seems that this question has gone slightly off topic; however, I`d argue that it is rather difficult to clearly believe and understand my situation without some clear evidence.
Their album of posted pictures has received comments (negatively directed towards us) from school 'friends', aquaintances, and strangers alike. There are over 40 people commenting and the pictures have not even been up for a full 48 hours yet. Recently, I was physically and verbally attacked at a grad event. I had to defend myself, I am not a victim. After being pushed several times by one girl, I punched her.
It just happens that she is the most 'popular' (and undeniably evil) girl in the school. She also happens to have a strong interest in the guy that I like and am attempting to get to know better. I can no longer consider myself innocent in this situation since I hit her back, if I tell any figures of authority at school I will receive an automatic suspension. If that happens, I lose my reference to get into the most competitive program at my dream university.
This situation is overly complex and complicated. As much as I`d like to move on and forget about it, I have an unbelievable amount of people working against me for no apparent reason other than jealously. My close friends also receive verbal harassment from these people, but it is me that they truly want to bring down. I am not a victim, I am not a follower, and I refuse to dull my shine or hide in the shadows to escape these attacks.
This situation is not going to go away on its own; it certainly won`t allow me to get to know the guy that I have an interest in, since the 'popular' girl has trouble letting him out of her sight, and believes it is her right to control and own him. I cannot see how he would find her actions impressive and I doubt the feelings are mutual between them. Enough of the details, I have hardly begun to explain the full extent of the situation anyways. What do you think about this? What could I do? (link)
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Wow, that's long.
There will always be a time in our lives when we step outside our usual selves and do something which we'd usually regret doing later.
I don't understand as to why you're letting these people get you, I mean, you know how good you are, they're just trying to copy you and therefore, you shouldn't let them get to you. They're just being sad little girls. If they're jealous, you should be proud because it means that they look up to you with a kind of envy and anger because you've got what they haven't and they're just trying to bring you down.
If they can't handle your confidence and your independence, then that's their problem, not yours. You know that you're strong enough to rise up and above this childish behaviour.
You say you're in High School? Well, that group should be in pre-school.
Don't worry about what you did. This girl was getting up your sleeve and pushed you... however, how hard she pushed you and what she said before would have to justify your actions. Who cares if she were the most popular girl in the school? That's not going to get HER into a top university is it? I don't think that being popular means anything and no university would care if she were popular or if she were a queen.
But you've worked hard to get to where you are. Don't let one little incident upset you. Keep on doing what you do best.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
P.S. Remember, the ones who bully are the weak ones and they've got issues and they want to take it out on somebody else.
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I'm throwing my bet friend a 15th bday party this year, and were gonna party hardy all night long :)
Does anyone know of any fun songs to dance, and just like chill to? I'll take any type (link)
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Migrate - Mariah Carey
Fantasy (remix) - Mariah Carey
Honey - Mariah Carey
Heartbreaker - Mariah Carey
It's Like That - Mariah Carey
Say Somethin' - Mariah Carey
I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time - Mariah Carey
I hope these helped,
triquetra
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That last one was for the bestfriend, but I honestly don't know what to do. So my bestfriend and I like the same guy, not to be concieted, but I think he like's me more. Age is just a number, but he's two years older. He's way way way more expierienced, and he flirt's with me face to face, but when we're talking online, it's like, ugh! But when he flirt's with me to my face, he always does the same thing with my bestfriend, who's always there. And if it's just me and him joking around, she join's in. Lately, i've been daydreaming about him too, I feel like a pathetic fool ): And i have a problem with always putting other's first, HELP! please (link)
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I would have to agree. This guy just doesn't seem to be interested in just you. If he's doing this in front of you other friend and doing it with her as well, then his actions are to be questioned.
I don't know as to where you stand with the age difference, it's not very clear, but just be careful in what you choose to do. He could end up winning your heart or breaking it. I know it isn't my place to say this, but he could also take advantage of you. I don't know, you know him better.
I would suggest for you to decide as to how you feel about him.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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So i just got a new dog yesterday! I love it we adopted it and it is so cute. Its names is Lily. Anyways we also have a cat that we have had for 16 years. currently we have the dog in a cage in the garage b.c that is what the lady said to do becuase it is not house trained. so today to try it out we brought lily in the house and my cat freaked out. he started hissing and crying and almost attacked lily. What should we do to get the cat adjusted to lily. I want to bring lily inside so she doesnt have to sleep in the garage. (link)
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There will have to be a period of adjustment whilst your cat gets used to Lily. I would keep Lily in the cage whilst the cat is in the house so he can get used to Lily's smell and presence and can accept him in his territory and plus, at least there is a barrier between Lily and the cat. And be sure that you're near by to ensure that not big fights occur. But you can take Lily out when your cat isn't in the house and begin the process of house training which is important if you want her in the house.
Letting Lily wander around the house will be the best way to spread her scent around and let your cat know that know it isn't the only animal in the house.
I say that because it's evident that your cat regards your house as part of its territory and will try and drive out any other animal and in this case: Lily. So , just wait for a period of time. I'm not going to give a set amount because it can vary with each home and how the animals react to each other.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Okay so there's this boy, who I use to like, well we both liked each other, but my "friend" started going with him, although he was still trying to get with me. And so now after 2 years we started back talking on myspace. And I think he still has feelings for me, and I have feelings for him although sometimes he gets on my nerves LOL! but I just want to know how can I know if he likes me, and how can I tell him I like him, without feeling like I 'll be let down by his answer. (link)
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There is no easy way to find out as to what he feels for you except for hearing it from a second party or by hearing it from him.
I would ask him, because that's the only way you're going to get a definite answer. If it came from a second party, then the information which they may or may not give you may be wrong and getting your hopes up/down is not the best thing right now.
Another way is by body language and how he treats you. If he likes to spend more time with you and does things which he doesn't do with anybody else and how he speaks to you can tell you a lot about how he feels for you. Even on myspace, what he writes to you could be an indication as to how he feels for you.
But for the definite answer, I would ask him after all of this and see what he says. Then you can take it from there.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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is it wrong to want to be popular (in the High School popularity sense of the term)? is it wrong to want to fit in?
i think it's not wrong to want to conform. that is just human nature, and its part of the societal contract that you will HAVE to conform to SOME society's rules if you hope to be accepted in society (ex: dont rape kids, dont go out of the house naked). but it's wrong to change yourself to fit in.
but what happens when you're different in the first place AND you want to be popular?
how do you conform & become epicly popular, if you dont want to change yourself?
im conflicted inside. it hurts.
i really want your opinion on this. (link)
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What's more important? Becoming more popular or just being yourself? When changing your personality to become more popular, you loose your true self along the way and you can't deny who you really are.
You can change a bit of you just to become a little popular, but not epicly popular, that would require to much change. However, if you did something good which would make everybody turn their eyes towards you, it would have to be something really big to gain that kind of popularity without changing yourself!!! Personally, I wouldn't go for that.
You can fit in, but in your own special way, not how everybody expects you to do it.
So, in answer to your question, yes I think it is good to conform, but not at the expense of you loosing who you truly are.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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well i know its pretty early to be thinking about this but i'm gonna be making end of the year shirts. i'm in 8th grade.
so for like leaving middle school.
what are some cute saying to go on themmm? (link)
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"May all the luck in the world follow you"
"Till We Meet Again"
"Friends Forever"
You could also have all the names of the people in the 8th grade on the shirt in different fonts and colors all around the shirt with the school logo on the front.
I hope these helped,
triquetra
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i need songs about being gay
not like disco songs
like real songs,
sad songs preferably (link)
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Looking In - Mariah Carey
Not exactly related to being gay, but the line "they'll never know the real me" might have some relevance.
Another could be 'Butterfly'
Sorry I couldn't be more help,
triquetra
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im kinda looking for inspirational songs, that have meaning, they can be sad, happy, rock, alternative, anything, i guess. (link)
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I find Mariah Carey's songs inspirational, such as:
Make It Happen
Through The Rain
Can't Take That Away [Mariah's Theme]
Fly Like A Bird
Butterfly
I hope these helped,
triquetra
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this isnt me, im just wondering, so if you were adopted and you adopted parents adopt another guy, and is it wrong to marry and love him? and he lvoes you back? i mean we're both adopted! (not me) just wondering (link)
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I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, you may share the same name, but not the same genes!!!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Can they punish their human if their human sex partner disobeys them? Just curious (link)
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To be quite honest with you, I've really got no idea as to whether or not the Incubus would punish its victim. I guess it could all just all depend as to what could be going through its mind. I mean, they are supposed to be demons after all.
triquetra
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The reason I am asking this question below is because a friend of mine stomach was bothering her and she decided to put down her pants and underwear and lye on her stomach on her bed. Then about fifteen minutes later she swore she felt a p*nis go inside of her. She was home alone. And she also swears that one night she felt something jump on her bed and told her not to move. So can humans have sex with an incubus spirit. And if so how is it and how often do humans have sex with it. And do they come when they want and when you want them to? And can they speak to you as well. Just curious (link)
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Dictionary definition:
Incubus - a male demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women.
This is quite a strange case. I mean, I've heard of a succubus, but not a incubus. From different sites which I've read, it seems that an incubus will have sex with you when they want to, not when you want them to and I can't find any limit to how many times. I've also seen different stories about encounters with incubus' but I've not been able to verify them.
Since they're technically demons, I don't see any reason as to why they shouldn't be able to speak.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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okay so im a sophomore in high school, and i play soccer and basketball. I don't really hang out with the "popular" crowd, but i have quite a few friends. Everyone says that high school is the funnest years of your life, but so far I haven't had much fun. I don't drink or smoke or do drugs or anything like that, and i've never been to an actual like 'party'. i just want to make the most out of high school and have a lot of fun! How and what should i do to fulfill that goal?
Anything helps!! =] (link)
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You know, I'm exactly like that. I'm in highschool at the moment and I don't drink, smoke or anything like that (and yes, I've never been to a party). But you know, I still have fun. Do you know why? Because I'm around the people whom I care the most about, more than any other in the world and just being with them and just being part of their lives everyday and seeing what's going on. Okay, I may not be going to parties with them till all hours of the night.
What I suggest that you do is just ask around and see what is going on during the weekends and see whether anybody invites you. For your soccer and basketball, just be yourself, have fun with your friends as you play the game. Just make every opportunity with your friends count.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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my old best guy friend use to be so close then we had a huge fight and now we tried being good friends again and he was my close friend for about a day and now things just arent working and when i try to talk to him about it he gets really mad and calls me annoying. He kind of is really rude to me and somehow i still love him as a friend and more. WHAT SHOULD I DO?(we used to hookup and stuff before are big fight) (link)
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Well, I think you should talk to him about this. I mean, evidently the fight which you guys had is still on his mind and maybe he's also scared of that happening again because it is horrible for friends to break up over a fight. Tell him that you want to be best friends again and that you can do what you used to do before the fight.
In my column, I say that "life is kinda like a rollercoaster ride... there are the ups and the downs" and I'm going to tell you know that you've experienced the ups of the friendship, now you need to work through the downs and whatever may come after that. There could be a twist in the road, one which you didn't see coming and as friends, I believe that you can work this out between the two of you.
Don't be scared to hook up again. Take a leap of faith and see what happens, you know hopefully know how to avoid another fight and can continue the friendship.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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