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I am arrogant
I know I am at times and though I try not to be, I feel myself slip into thinking that I am amazing and that I simply have qualities that other people lack. I seem to sometimes think that I understand things better than other people, that I am deep, and that I have greater intellect than other people. But that obviously isn't true, because we are all so different and each person has something remarkable to bring to this world. No one has ever told me that I am self centered, because I tend to be nice to everyone, it's just that in my mind I classify people and judge them and look for their bad qualities. I think I do it subconsciously to make me feel better about myself. I believe my arrogance comes from my insecurity. I had lower self-esteem a year or so ago, so I'm recovering from that, and I have been hurt by many guys before. I guess this is simply how I cope with my insecurities. But I'm trying so hard to give love to my friends and to everyone I meet. I don't want it to be me versus the world. I want to be part of a world, and united with people, rather that to isolate myself in my arrogance. I hope someone can help me to work on this issue. How can I become a better person? Thank you so much :)
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This is a really, really good question :) Ok, there's nothing wrong with having a high self esteem, unless you are belittling others to build it. Personally, I'm pretty arrogant myself. I feel like I'm more deep and intellectual then most, though I'm obviously not. I "tame" this problem by having phases. I know it's not easy to control phases, but I think it's possible. I have "I'm the shit" phases and then i'll start being insecure and compare myself to others. I alternate between the two phases every week or so. I know it's not right to be down on yourself all the time, but I think I have a good mix of the two phases. Also, when you start to think arrogant, think about what the other person is thinking about. If you pass by some girl in the hallway or are talking to a friend and you catch yourself starting the whole "I'm soooo much deeper/intellectual/etc. then her/him.", just think about what they think. Think about what they think of you and what they wonder. Chances are, it's probably the same things you do. Everyone has an urge programmed into them to be "special". Some people physically/mentally make reasons to, while others create reasons by lowering everyone else around them. Just know that how you feel is completely normal. :) goodluck!
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It's amazing. When I read this question, I was wondering for a few seconds as to whether I'd asked this question and I'd forgotten about it because this is who I am; arrogant at times, but I like to help other people as well and be kind to them.
It's hard to stop being arrogant. I mean, people say "Oh stop being so arrogant" or something of that nature and you know, I always think that sometimes, being arrogant can be a part of somebody's personality and it's hard to change who you are. I know I'm arrogant and I learn from my mistakes and I still make some of them. One really big one is to think that everybody's business is my business and I tend to interfere. It's only like afterwards that I realize it and regret it, but you know, you've just to keep on going.
When I first came to my senior school, I judged everybody and only looked for the negatives in them and now, three years later, I know so much more about them and my views on my peers changed dramatically. However, the reason for my arrogance was because I was scared of being rejected by others and I was (and still am) terrified of what other people think of me. Even when I wear new clothes I would find myself trembling because I would be scared as to how they would take it!!! But I took a huge leap of faith (for me in any case) and I began to talk to them and socialized with them more and now I feel more...relaxed that what I once was and able to be open to anybody new...still working on that one!!! Another thing which I found which helped was this column. Me being able to be who I really was and helping others, helped me in turn to let my guard down and get the stage where I am now: accepted by others for who I am.
Whoa, turning into a life story this!!! Anyway, the point is, is to let your guard down a little and just listen to what other people say. Open your mind to how they act, what they say etc. because that could reveal a different side to them which you weren't aware of before and could open a door to a new friendship. I learn something new about the people who I live and work with everyday. When you meet new people, don't let first impressions get to you, wait for a while and see how you feel about them. You've been hurt by others, which means that you're stronger than before, which means if it happens again, you can pull yourself through again and become even more stronger (emotionally, that is).
Let your arrogance run away with you at times because it can help you get grounded again and focused. It's never good to try and be perfect and never think highly of yourself: it's healthy to. If not, you'll constantly be putting yourself under others and eventually, it could come to the point where you think you're worthless and not fight back. So keep that in mind.
It's also good to try and find the bad qualities in other people first because then, you've got the good side to work on whilst the bad side is already there, so you aren't shocked if that person did something which you didn't expect they would do. So it's also a good thing to do it, but don't let that bad side run the image of that person.
As for being part of the world, just be united with you friends and family and that should be sufficient enough. And remember, if you do get into arguments over something, bear in mind that the other person could be right as well.
Wow, this has to be the most personal answer I've ever given and I hope it helps!!
triquetra
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