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is it wrong to want to be popular?
is it wrong to want to be popular (in the High School popularity sense of the term)? is it wrong to want to fit in?
i think it's not wrong to want to conform. that is just human nature, and its part of the societal contract that you will HAVE to conform to SOME society's rules if you hope to be accepted in society (ex: dont rape kids, dont go out of the house naked). but it's wrong to change yourself to fit in.
but what happens when you're different in the first place AND you want to be popular?
how do you conform & become epicly popular, if you dont want to change yourself?
im conflicted inside. it hurts.
i really want your opinion on this.
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I get where you're comming from, in an judicial and lawful sense we all conform to the same standards. But mainly it's the common emotion of us all sharing our values and beleifs so they become solid in the communities, or countries standards. There are people who refuse to conform to the common ethics of society, rapists, child molesters, hate groups, but it's our low tolerence for outsiders that, atleast in america, we gloat about. I beleive, our low tolerence is just a product of the human nature to want to bring things to justice, and of course societies mutual beleifs. The only standards you really have to conform to, are the ones that you agree with.
Like buddha said, "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
On the other hand, popularity and spotlight are part of human nature. We all yearn to be wanted and loved, adored even. It's just that the term "popular" has it's own definition along with traits. We look at popular people as stuck up, preppy, blonde, blue eyes.
You just have to redefine popularity. You just have to be popular in your own sense, technically popularity just means masses of people like you, you're friendly and have friends.
As long as you like who you are, don't give a hoot about what anyone thinks. It's self love that matters, not conformity.
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It is not wrong to want to be popular and well liked. You are right, it is human nature, and deep inside everyone feels some since of wanting to belong.
I do think changing yourself (especially in high school, when many teens do not even know who they are yet anyways) is wrong. You should never change yourself to meet someone else's standards. Even though it sounds tacky and cliche, always 'try' to be yourself. I say try, because like you said, it is normal to want to conform to other's standards.
For example, I have many different friends. There are a lot of cliches/groups at my school, but I really do not fit in to any of them. I do have a group of girls that I am with most of the time, but I am extremely friendly with everyone at my school. And even though I am all about being yourself, I find myself acting differently with different groups of people. I do not see it as me neccessarily trying to "fit in," it is just the way I am. (And how many others are from what I can tell)
The key to popularity in my experience as a high school student is a combination of confidence and a friendly personality. If you are a friendly person, people will be friendly back. In return, more friends-- which consitutes popularity. =]
Never purposely change yourself for a group of people, but remember that in high school, people are constantly changing. That is not neccessarily a bad thing. Embrace it, but do not do it simply for popularity.
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Is it wrong? No. I think everyone wants that chance to fit in with the popular crowd at least once.
It's not wrong to want to "conform", and as you said it is human nature. However, I think everyone can make their way into the popular crowd with their own group of friends.
Would I change myself to fit in? Absolutely not. If you change yourself to fit in with another crowd, it demonstrates that you don't like who you are and have no confidence that you have to make changes to your personality/wardrobe/etc.
This also plays in with acceptance. You don't have to be popular to be accepted. If you are a nice person, you WILL be accepted in everyone's eyes. And you can be a popular/jock/geek/whatever without anyone judging you.
I know because I am also not a popular, but I am no computer nerd or emo kid. I am an everything. I have friends in each group of people because I am a nice person to everybody, no matter who you are or what group you fit into I will be kind. I won't discriminate you by what clothes you wear or what group you fit into.
I hope my opinion helped ! If not, just drop one in my inbox ! :]
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What's more important? Becoming more popular or just being yourself? When changing your personality to become more popular, you loose your true self along the way and you can't deny who you really are.
You can change a bit of you just to become a little popular, but not epicly popular, that would require to much change. However, if you did something good which would make everybody turn their eyes towards you, it would have to be something really big to gain that kind of popularity without changing yourself!!! Personally, I wouldn't go for that.
You can fit in, but in your own special way, not how everybody expects you to do it.
So, in answer to your question, yes I think it is good to conform, but not at the expense of you loosing who you truly are.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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