about


Forum!

advice

I know its far away but I want to get a hid start for summer I want to loose enouf wait for summer to fit in to my 2 piece
I added allot of wahit and I would like to loose it I am 13 and I dont know a safe way s plz help

The safest and best way, no matter what age you are is to lose the weight slowly by making gradual changes in your lifestyle. These changes should include sensilbe eating and regular excercise. Avoid diets, pills and everything like that. If wieght loss os to be effective and permanent (most dieters regain the weight they lost) it must be a lifestyle change. Here are some quick tips. 1- Eat small meals three to five times a day (eating fequently, but not excessively, elevates your metabolism), 2- Eat balanced meals and avoid saturated fats (such as animal fats found in butter, lard etc), 3- Create a small calorie deficiency (this can be done scientifically or by trial and error- a good tip is to always feel just a bit hungry when you go to sleep), 4- Dont starve yourself 5- Try to introduce regular weeekly workouts (weights are by far the most superior way to slim down due to their effect upon the metabolism, but you should pick something you can stick to). Remember also that many diets make you lose weight through water loss (which is quickly regained), or by devouring your muscle mass. Anything more than 1 pound of weight loss per week is probably not fat (or not JUST fat), and thus unhealthy. Hope this helped, and best of luck to you.

[view]


well im 5'4 and weigh 139 is that fat??my friends say that im not fat but i think i am i also think their only doing that so they wont hurt my feelings

By the figures alone I would say that you are not fat. However, other than height one has to factor in build and muscle to fat ratio. Now, taking the worst case scenario (nothing personal just a guess), meaning that if I assume that you have a small build and dont really work out, you might, at most, be slightly plump.
Either way, your friends are not just trying to spare your feelings. Hope this helped.

[view]


im 15 and f ... there is this guy that was "really hott" and i had a big crush on him but finally i got over him because i realized that we are two totally different types of people, he does drugs sometimes and im one of the most innocent girls ever. But now a few months later we've been talking more just as friends and he's telling me he likes me and i dont know what to do because i do still like him but i dont know if its such a good idea we go out. please help im very confused.

Yes, I agree with the others here, dont date him. Remember that, apart from what the others already said, when you date a person, you will also automatically be drawn into their circle of friends (at least eventually). His friends are very likely also different from you in their... uhm, recreational habbits. It will quickly become an uncomfortable situation for you, and may put you in a position where you might be pressured into doing something you dont want to do.

[view]


how do i tell someone that is cutting themselves that what they are doing is very dangerous, without a confrontation?

Just a little add on to the first reply. Writting a letter is a good idea. In it make sure to leave them some phone numbers where they can get anonymous help. Eg. (310) 855-3401 this is a teen help hotline. Its free, and its for people 12 to 20. There are many such services, just search the web. Of course, if its a really serious matter theres always 1-800-SUICIDE/ 1-800-784-2433 (its also toll free).
Another thing you may consider is to contact this persons parents (all depending upon his/her age and family relationship).

[view]


Hey every1,
I'm here to talk about my friend, Emma. We were eating lunch today and she started talking to me on how she thinks she's starting to loose her memory. She's 15 years old, and I know you loose your memory of old age and stuff...but she's 15 YRS OLD! Emma was telling me how she see's a friend of her's, but everytime she see's her friend, Emma can't remember her name. And Emma was telling me that it's not just that one girl...there's more ppl that she can't remember their names. Also she was telling me how she forgets what she did in the past week. She kinda remembers but it's hard for her to remember. Like she can remember what she did in 3 days ago, but a whole week she can't really remember. I asked Emma if she remembered what she did 2 weeks ago, and she couldn't remember. Is she really loosing her memory? Should we be worried? Is it really worth going to the doctor? Please answer me because I have NOO clue.
~missc~

Look, many people have bad memories BUT the important thing here is whether this is a new development. In other words, could she remember these things say a year ago or earlier. If she could, then she should definately go and talk to a doctor because memory loss at that age is not normal. You should however also factor in one more thing. Kids at that age often go through a bit of a hypochondriac phase (where they think they have everything from cancer to hair loss). I went through it myself. So try to evaluate the situation as objectively as possible, and see if her memory really is as bad as she claims (without her knowing of course). However, a trip past a doctor might not be such a bad idea anyway.

[view]


i just went to the doctor because i was having this problem at night where i cant do anything but breathe (kinda long story)and the doctors said i have someting called absence seizures or something and they said i have to get a "brain scan" or "mri" done..whats an MRI?? i heard that its a big black thing, and im really scared..i feel really uncomfortable with the problem to and i hate it... i dont wanna go to the hospital and stick my head into something...this is really bad, and im 14 and STILL somewhat frightened of the dark!! does anyone know anything to help me?? someone just please say something anything will help! thanks

I really dont think you have anything to be afraid of. Scans like this are always completely painless. The only requirement on you is not to move around.
As for the look of it, Im not sure. Ive had a brain scan once, but it was for an injury to the head during a sport (no idea how many different types of scans there are). However, the process should be the same. You lie down and they put this machince thing around your head (or slide you under). The thing makes a bit of noise and thats it. Absolutely nothing to even be nervous about.

[view]


oK..I'm 13 5'4 and about 98 pounds..I used to be skinny and stuff but now I'm starting to get a big belly. I run and do situps and drink water and try to eat healthy and everything, but I starting to get larger than I should be. Any ideas on how to keep a flat stomache and stop gaining to much more because I used to see myself good now Im huge. sorry if thats kinda long.
~please help

I agree with everyone here. You are NOT fat, or even plump. I just want to add one thing which you may or may not know about fat burning. It is a popular misconception that running and other aerobic exercises are best for this purpose. They are not. The absolute winner in the staying trim category is resistance training, essentially doing weights. This will raise your metabolism in a way aerobics simply cannot do, thus enabling you to burn calories while at rest many hours after your workout.
Anyway let me stress again you are not huge, large, or biggish. However a change of workout might redistribute your weight in a way you would be more happy with.

[view]


I feel lately that I am a fake Christian. I say I believe in Jesus, God, etc., but I just am not very knowledgable about Christianity on the whole. All I know is, when I'm talking to God, or the few times I go to church, I am very happy, because I do know that God and Jesus love me. And my family - they all believe and everything, we're just not the most religious people, I guess. But I realize that we need to truly accept Jesus into our hearts in order to enter Heaven, and I don't even feel truly like I've done that yet. I've never brought it up with my family, but I really want all of us to get to know God and Jesus so that I can expect to meet them in Heaven, because this is kind of a priority. But how do I do this without basically saying, "Okay, here we go, we are going to believe in this whether you like it or not"? I know that sometimes people get kind of offended because they think I force my ideas about religion upon them... Sorry for the long question - I rate!

Talk to them about it. Explain why how you feel honestly and without being pushy. Its by far your best bet. However, accept no for an answer. Remember the key word here is belief and anyone not choosing Christianity has just as valid an opinion as the pope himself.
If your folks do believe though, it shouldnt be a problem. Just dont overwhelm them as that might push them away, so allow for small lifestyle changes here and there.

[view]


My friend and I hatw this teacher and as a joke we made this odd screen name and sent him e-mails. It was the worst dissoin of my life. I sent one that was like "I hate your class I am so glad I am in highschool now". But my friend HATES that teacher so she sent and e-mail like" teacher you hurt me so the hammer is coming down...have fun in hell" I didn't mean for it to go this far. Now the police are in his room for a long time like every day. Thankfully I deleted that screen name! They made an anousement on the intercom about it and ever since I have been shaking and I am so scared/screwd. If I get caught it wont be for the one I sent, it will be for the one my friend sent. I was thinking of sending an e-mail to my teach saying like sorry it was only a joke but I'm not sure... help! I am so scared but I know for sure I am not going to tell any one but I need to know what to do!

Well first thing you need to do is to erase any trace from your computer. Every computer keeps track of the stuff you view, write, send etc. ALL your deleted stuff can be recovered if you dont despose of it properly. So this is what you do, you download this program called CyberScrub (maybe in 2 words). Then you install it (free 30 day trial) and go to options. Select one of the high security options that prevent software and hardware recovery of your deleted content and then erase your traces (web traces, deleted content etc).
Cant guarantee that your problems will be over but it will be much harder for them to make a case.

[view]


my little sister is 8 years old and she just got sick today and no one is going to be home for a week so we cant get to the hospital but she has a temp of 103 degrees and its not lowering at all, does anyone know anything i can do to help lower it or make her feel any better? thanks!! (I rate on how well you answer)

I agree with the first person to answer this question. Please be sure that you know any allergies your sister might have before you adminster anything. Finally, remeber to make her drink quite a bit (she may not want to but its very important to the recovery process, much more so than eating). Make sure the drink doesnt have too many stimulants in it (preferrably not soda and certainly not coffee to state the obvious). Warm milk is a good one. Otherwise keep her warm and give her some C vitamin (just a regular dose).
By all means DO contact an adult if the symptoms get worse, or dont get any better in the near future.

[view]


Im 14 and about a year ago i started noticing wierd bumps on my thighs and the backs of my arms. The bumps are kinda like pimples they have white dots in them. Even if i dont shave they dont go away. Please Help Me!

Listen, as much as I am sure that at least half the people on this site have medical degrees, I dont think you should be asking this here. See a doctor and make sure that its not something serious. Also note that EVERYONE before me had a different diagnosis- how realiable is that?

Btw, I have blood gushing out of my eyes, and I just crapped my kidneys out...is that serious?

[view]


okay in like 2 weeks my parents are goin outta town and im thinking about having my realllly realllly realllly close best guy friend over to sleep over. [ we are really close and its just like a friend sleepover thing] but yeah. i actually realy like him tho. ive started to have these feelings for him starting about 2 months ago..well, actually right when we started becoming close i started liking him but ive never let him known.. i duno if he feels the same tho..any tipz on how i should tell him without scaring him off? thanks!

make sure you know what you want first of all. If you are certain that you want him as a boyfriend then please note the following points. 1- There is no going back to "the way it was" afterwards (ar its extremely rare. 2- DO NOT start to initiate something with him and then "change your mind because you realise that what you have is too special to waste", for the love of God realise this beforehand. 3- DO NOT give him small hints on how you feel (I cant tell you how many relationships/ potential relationships Ive seen bite the dust because girls think we are sensitive to such things). 4- Be gentle (some guys scare easy), say that you were thinking about changing their relationhip, and ask him what he thinks. This also gives you some room to back off rather than the "I love you and I want you approach" (note: I know you didnt say that in your question). 5 DO NOT make a sexual approach (kissing, slow dancing, whatever) instead of the talk for one very important reason... If you havent outlined what you want first, some guys will go with the sex and then leave it at that (i.e. no relationship, no friendhip, etc). For many guys love (or even like) and sex are not connected, while for most girls they are.
Hope this was of some use. Best of luck to you.

[view]


well im a guy and so far most of my friends have been girls, but recently i made a few guy friends and it jsut occured to me that i realy have no idea how to hang out with guys, what kind of activities etc...

Lol, funny situation. In my opinion guys are nothing like girls when they hang out. Like the first guy wrote, sports is often a major topic. But theres usually a lot more to it. Guys are (usually) much more straight forward about how they say things. Also they are far less sensitive in their presentaton. Expect lots of tasteless (*by chick definition*) jokes and comments.
But most important are the activities, guys DO more things. Whatever the interests are (and age group is), guys are almost always more active. This could mean playing ball, video games, boozing etc etc. This has been my experience with all my friends of both sexes in all the countries I have lived in (3). Girls love to meet for dinner and a chat (or a loooong talk), maybe take in a movie. Guys meet to do stuff most of the time. Talk is a glorified extra.

[view]


im 14/female. i used to have this really good friend. we could talk about anything. he was like my big brother. well lately (in the past few months) we've grown apart so much. we can't talk to each other about anything and i get mad at him over little things. i don't know why our relationship is changing so much. i miss how things used to be. any ideas why things are happening like this? any advice on what i should do?

The interesting thing about what you wrote is that you said that you also get mad at him over little things. To me that sounds as though there is some serious tension between the two of you (I assume you dont have that reaction to your other friends). Are you perhaps seeing each other in a different light for the first time, perhaps not just as friends but as a man and a woman? Or is it simply frustration because you no longer have the same interests or something?
I do agree with what others wrote about people growing apart but I dont think you should let the friendhsip go without a fight. Do talk to him like others suggested but beware... guys in puberty are notoriously lousy at conversation and dont like (or know) how to share their feelings.
I think the first step is some soul searching on your part- try to understand why YOU are reacting differently to him. Understanding his actions might be easier afterwards.

[view]


ok i have this friend... and she and used to have looads of fun together and she was someone i could act silly with ya know? but on halloween i asked her if she wanted to hang out and she said she couldnt because she had to "pass out candy" then later i found out that AFTER i asked her, her other friend asked her to hang out and she said yes... hmm a little suspicious? so i got over that but then last tuesday (the tuesday b4 thanxgiving) i asked her if she wanted to go see a movie on wednesday at like 2:30ish.. and she said that her dad couldnt take us or pick us up and neither could her mom... so i was like ok whatever i didnt really care.. but then the next day (wednesday) she said she was going bowling at 2:30! so i was lke well how are you getting there? and shes like oo my dads taking me and then my moms bringing me home at 4... whats up with that??? yea i forgave her once (is that correct grammar?) and now she ditches me again?? i dont think so... what should i do? is she a real friend?? and dont say "well try talking to her" because i tried that and she made up all these stupid excuses... i mean i want to be her friend but not if she treats me like this... any suggestions?
-help!

I agree with most of the people here, this is not a real friend. Anytime a "friend" lies to you one has to question how true the friendship actually is.
My advice is to stop calling her. After some time, she will very probably approach you. Then you have to decide whether to kick her to the curb, or to confront her directly. If you choose to confront her, and you make some progress, make sure she understands that next time she lies you really will stop being friends for good.

[view]


well this question is for my friend she is older than me and she is really shy she had "xxx" with this guy and she is pregnet right now she can not tell her partents cause if she tells her mom and dad gonna kill her and the baby dad is running away now i need help guys i dont kown what to do now,,,,,

This is a very difficult question for which we have very little information. However, I cant see how the girl can manage this without approaching her parents. Even if she can find a way to have an abortion without her parents knowing I still dont think its a good idea. I knew a girl who had an abortion for similar reasons and the experience was really traumatic for her.
Perhaps she could approach one of her parents. In most families one parent is more tolerant than the other. Then they can try to work it out together.
Talking to the father might be an option too, but this all depends on his /their age. If he is very young, he cant help with much more than moral support.
I know this isnt much of an answer. Best of luck to your friend.

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker