about

Many of my friends say that I am a good listener and advice giver. Because I have experienced many good and bad situations, I know what it is like to feel down or confused. I am a mother, daughter, sister, girl friend, and friend. And if I can't figure out how to answer a question, I'm sure I know someone who can. And I've come to notice that most of the questions people ask they already know the answer to, they just need a little reassurance. But I will warn you that my policy is, if you ask a stupid question, you will get a stupid answer. But i will say that it is my joy to help anyone with a real problem, so ask away!




textarea.Skem9box {width:200px; height:100px;color:White;font-size:11pt;font-family:Times New Roman;background-color:Black;}
input.Skem9sub {width:200px; color:White;font-size:11pt;font-family:Times New Roman;background-color:Dark Pink;}

advice

Ok, I have this friend who isn't really nice. Whenever I invite her over she makes my room messy like she is Godzilla or something. Well whenever she invites me to come over she may invite one other person and then I am invisible the rest of the time that other friend of hers is over and she yells at me for nothing blames me on stuff to my parents even though she did whatever and everything is all about her. She is so selfish. What should I do?

I think your friend isn't really your friend. But, you can try talking to her about how she is, if it results in an argument, ditch her, she isn't worth it. Maybe one day she will come to her sences and then things will work out.

[view]

Ok, I personally think this is total bull shit but, there's this girl I went out with for 6 months and shit and shes a twin. She broke up with me a little bit ago, maybe about 4 weeks. Anyway, we broke up and shit, and then I had feelings for her sister. I mean like deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep serious feelings. I don't know if I should tell her or not say anything so their relationship won't be worried. What the hell should I do?

It is wrong to get between sisters. So I think you should put your like deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep serious feelings to side, becuase you shouldn't want to start any trouble.


((please rate))

[view]

Stupid question I know.. i am 5'3 and weigh 133 is that overweight though? Well its like during the summer i weigh 120 during the winter i gain more cuz im not out as much and ect. Summer i am more active and stuff. So is that overweight?

No you are not overweight.


((please rate))

[view]

I have two male cats. One 15 year old simaese which I have had for most of my life, and an 8 month old that I just adopted today. Technically the new cat is my mom's. I am really attached to my cat and want to make this adjustment for him as easy as possible. Is there any advice someone can give me for this?

Also, from what the lady said who was giving him up was that he was a very gentle and docile cat. But he has been following me around and watching me ever since he encountered my cat. Right now I as I sit at my computer and type he is staring at me and yeowling. If I advance towards him to walk to the kitchen, he gets lounder and advances back. And he follows me around with his ears back, tail puffed up, and jaws slightly agape. Is there ANYTHING I can do to make him leave me alone? We've only had him now for a few hours, and I know there will be an adjustment time, but it is really getting annoying.

One last concern, my cat doesn't have his front claws, and the new cat does... My mom won't get him declawed because of a mishap that happened with my cat's surgery. We will be getting him neutered sometime this week. how long do you think this adjustment period will be?

In case it matters for whatever reason, I am 21/F.

It will take some time for the cat to get used to its new surroundings. it is probably reacting the way it is because it is scared. When an animal isn't aware of its surroundings it is only natural for it to keep its guards up. Also, try to keep the cats seperated for a while, cats have big issues about domination. Also, when he gets neutered it will be easier for the cats to be around eachother because they will have no scents to detect of eachother. hope I was helpful. :)

[view]

I like this guy (we'll call him X). I met him on a Friday a few weeks ago, hung out with him for about 6 hours straight a few days later, and he tells me that he really likes me. I started talking on the phone and developing strong feelings for him. We hung out again and he talks about how much he likes me + also about trying to make a relationship work with the two of us. This friday, he cancells plans with me and says he's intimidated by relationships/commitment, even after everything he had previously said. Now, on Friday he says he's going to think it through and we're going to hang out on Sunday instead, so he asks me to clear my schedule. I do, and now he's not home, nor has he bothered to call me or sign online all day. How am I supposed to be reacting to this? Should I give him any more chances or is it not worth it?

Maybe something happened that has your friend intimidated about relationships now. maybe be he is scared of messing up your friendship. You have to keep in mind that even if he seems like he is telling you everything, there may be little things he keeps to himself. Especially fear. A guy has trouble admitting fears. i think you should give him a chance to get his thoughs situated. but, if he keeps beating around the bush, you can't sit around wating for him because mr. Right may come along and you will miss him. Good Luck! :)


((please rate))

[view]

There*z this kid who ive gotten really close to when my best friend broke up with..but im afraid to ask him out because if i do and he says yes my friend will be mad at me but if he says no then i will be upset..but i cant just let him go becuase i really love him and i cant keep my mind off him..HELP!
13,Female

Try talking to your friend about how you feel and see how she feels. If it being with this guy is going to ruin your friendship it is not worth it. A boyfriend may not be around forever but a friend will.

[view]

Are the showers in Middle school sanitary??

They are supposed to be sanitary. Personally, I don't trust showering in the same place where a bunch of people I barely know shower. But, most schools do not require you to shower after gym anymore. Hope I was helpful. :)



((please rate))

[view]

Ok well I'm in high school and like ALL the girls have bigger boobs than me! And I mean i dont want to go to school wearing a padded bra one day and having everyone notice me like a sore thumb! But I've heard if you messeged your boobs or whatever that they will grow. Is there anyway that I can make them get bigger without wearing a padded bra or anything :-/ I'm really self concious and I dont want to be anymore!
THANKS a bunch

Unfortunately, there is no way to increase your bust size without padding or implants, basically being fake. And you shouldn't want to be fake. Some people have big ones and some don't. Thats just life, and you have to learn to accept it. There's nothing wrong with you.

((please rate))

[view]

hey um...its not really a question now but i just want to say thnx!

Your Welcome :)

[view]

Ok heres the story,
I lived with my dad untill i was 121/2 .... But know i live with my mom and i am 15 .... when i lived with my dad he used to give me a suit case and tell me to move in with my mom when he was drunk or mad and now my mom does it only she doesnt give me a suit case cause i have one in my room .... When i first moved in with her she used to allways takl to me and i could tell her any thing but over time we drifted and thats normal i know for going into teens and stuff but know she loves my step dad more then she loves me .... i know she does becuase if my step dad is off some where else for work then she cant stand not talking to him at least 3 times a day even if hes only gone for 2 days and when i go to visit my dad for a weekend or for a couple of weeks she doesnt call me or anything and when i come home shes like i missed you but then goes back to talking to her husband errrr

AND THEN my brother wont even talk tod me becuase him and my dad got into a fight and he doesnt want anything to do with someone who is related to my father ....... and my family (like aunts etc..) on my dads side hates me becuase i "left" my dad and moved to my moms

Sry for sounding like a complaining person but i wanted to know why does family treat me like this? it makes me really depressed

As for your Dad's sdie of the family and your brother... Sometimes people are immature and hold grudges. Don't let them get to you, its not worth it. hopefully they will come aorund, but if not then oh well, thats their lost. They need to remember that family is 1st and no matter where you live, you are still their blood.

As for your Mom, you're right parents and teens do seperate a bit. But if not being able to communicate with your mother the way you used to is really bothering you. Then maybe you need to let her know that.

on one of them days, when she is feeling lonely because your step dad is away, try surprising her with some breakfast in bed, or sitting with her for a sandwich in the kitchen for lunch. Do something to remind her how much you love her and need her. Sometimes parents don't realize when they are neglecting their kids. And while you guys are eating or whatever. Let her know "You now, I did this to remind you that I love you and you. And lately I feel like you don't notice me. My relationship with you is very important to me, and I would be sad if it went bad..." Just let her know how you feel.

[view]

I have a few celebrity screennames I would like to share:
Justin Timberlake: Tearstick
Jim Carrey (Bruce Almighty): Jimcarreyonmoon
Adam Sandler (Mr.Deeds): Triangular Earth
Kristanna Loken (terminator 3): evilyethopeless
John Raitt (???): JRamboNWL

im not sure if theyre real. my friend goes on websites, and she has 200 celebrity email addresses, but she only gave me these.

Probably fakes. Just people trying to get some attention.

[view]

i have been sitting in my house eversince summer break started from school and i haven't realyl done anything fun the whole summer break and we have been out for like two weeks and like i tend to find my self calling like everyone i know to find something to do and i noticed the other day i let me friend say some shit about me and normaly i was have been pissed off i just took it
and another thing is i keep lookin at all my pictures of my friends just wishing how much i had a g/f and just the other day i called my x /gf and told her i liked her? i dunno why? i don't i just miss it so much cause when we were goin out she was always there for me some times to much so can someone please tell me if i am depressed? or what the hell is wrong with me cause i am seemin to feel really sad and it seems like NOTHING is going right for me at all!

Stop feeling bad for yourself, and Go out and have some fun. Meet some new girls.

[view]

One of my mates since she turned 12 has been in too much of a rush to grow up. She won't go to see any PG or U films she said "Im to old for them and im 12 now i don't want to see baby films *SHE WOULDN'T GO AND SEE FINDING NEMO*" It is starting to get on everones nerves. We are all wanting to have a laugh but she takes things to seriously. We have tried talking to her but she won't listen. At christmas i asked her what she got and she said that she doesn't really care about the presents she is mainly trying to help her little brothers out. I know that your suppoesed to do that but this year she will be 13 and a teenager so why can't she just live a little cause this will be her last year as a kid. You only get 1 chance of a childhood why not take it while u can.
Can anyone give us some advise.

Your friend is just going through a stage. Go ahead and do the things you still like to do, don't let her ruin your fun. Hopefully, she will come around and realize how silly she is acting. butnif you notice her doing things a little too grown or that can get her into trouble, then talk to someone. But like I said, its just a phase.

[view]

I'm a 14 year old girl who wants a "strong" stomach , maybe a 4 or 6 pack or something like that . What specific exercises are there to help me acheive my goal ? Am i too young for this ?
Thanks ,
Laura .

There is nothing wrong with trying to be fit. Try doing crunches in the morning and before bed. Do as many as you can each time. but pace yourself, don't hurt yourself.

[view]

Hes 4 yrs older than me, i was about 9 at the time, i cant talk to my parents

Well, 9 is kinda of old, to be doing that. Does he still try to do weird things to you? Do you feel uncomfrtable around him now? Do you know of him ever being that way to anyone else? This could be signs of sexual abuse.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this?

[view]

Ok hi im a female,who is 13, my neighbor,a male,who is 15,who i happen to like is two years older then me.i told him i liked him and then he didnt talk to me for a day.him and i are good friends though so i dont know whats up.his best friend who happens to be my friend,and his brothers girlfriend,talked to him for me the other day.she asked him why he wasnt talking to me alot.all he said is that he likes me alot as a friend and doesnt know yet if he likes me more then that.he flirts with me all the time though.do you think i'll ever get him?....what does all this mean?....

If the guy likes you maybe he will come around. But don't sit around wating for him. You are young, and if someone else comes along, you should take the opportunity. Plus it should make you feel good, that this guy is worried to ruin the friendship you have, maybe you are better off that way.

[view]

This is going to sound pretty freakin' stupid but last night I watched two of the Texas Chainsaw Massacres and I realized how much I want a boyfriend. Just someone to hold me while we watch horror movies and just someone I could share the warmth of being in a relationship with. I'm still young. I'm 14...but still...I can't help it. I know a lot of times being in a relationship at this age equals a lot of pain in sorrow in the end (most of the time). But at night I cry because I feel so alone and I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and it really hurts...and my heart feels shaky and I think a boyfriend could heal that. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm "depressed" a lot but I don't know...I have this boy in mind and he's just perfect in everyway. He's sweet and we only talk online because we go to different schools. (but we live in the same town) and wow...I just really like him and I just wish that he knew. I plan on telling him but I guess it would make everything weird and I just want to cry. I feel like such a fucking sap but I can't help it. I just want to scream out I like him but I have social anxiety disorder and I've asked some more questions before about this subject but it's just hard.
AND NO I CAN'T FREAKING CALL HIM ON THE PHONE...if anything I'm telling him online and even if I met up with him at the movies in person or something then I probably wouldn't even freaking talk to him because I'm so stupid and once again I let my social anxiety disorder conquer me...

Please help me...
This isn't some sappy kid love story...I just want him to know how I feel and I have NO CLUE how he will act and I'm scared of him rejecting me...
And I guess we tell each other a lot of things online...but I don't know...in my old school people made fun of me because of my S.A.D. which is why I tranferred. He understands me because I explained it to him and he was so sweet to me and it felt like he totally understood everything I had to say. I don't know what to do...he means a lot to me and he doesn't know it...
I told him so many things about my life and he told me quite a few things about his and if I tell him I like him and he doesn't feel the same way back to me I'm afraid everything will be gone between us. The nice talks online...and just...everything.

He is such a sweet boy like I said before and he just doesn't realize how much girls like him. I'm one of those girls...but it's different. I don't like him because of his cute face... (I havent even seen the "new" him) I haven't seen him in a year and people say he "got cute" and that kind of intimidates me...looks DO NOT matter to me but I just really fell in love with this boy's personality and he is so sweet and I know he would never do anythign mean to me I'm just afraid I'll embarrass him in front of his friends if I tell him I really like him. Of course if I ask him out he's going to tell them (because that's what friends do) and I'm afraid for some reason his friends (who are realloy nice...but) I'm just afraid that they will kind of try to persuade him out of ever talking to me again (and I know that sounds weird) but...I don't know... I just have a problem with always feeling like I'm holding peopkle back. I can't help that...I feel like I'm always putting people on the spot and that I should come second rather than first in anything in their life. I hate feeling liek I hold people back which is another reason why I don;t want to tell him.
But...I just don't know what to do...

I'm SO SORRY for this long question I'm just desperate and I really like him. I think about him all the time and I just want a chance with him...I'm really sorry if I took up any of your time...just please help me...

Thanks.

You seem very depressed and that concerns me. Its not good to be that young and so sad. If one of the reasons you are feeling so down is because your feelings for this guy are eating up inside you because you still haven't said anything, then you NEED to get those feelings off of your chest. Yes rejection can be a scary thing, but if this guy is your friend, even if he doesn't feel the same, I'm sure he won't be mean about it. And let him know "I've gotta say something, but i don't want it to change us, you are a great friend..." And tell him how you fell. I gaurentee you, that once you get everything off your chest, you will feel better about you. Also, i would like to tell you, you should never feel as though you should be in 2nd place you should always keep your head up and put yourself first. When people can see you are confident, they admire you more. So be strong.

[view]

Im a 15yr old girl and when I was younger my brother used to pull down my trousers and hold my bum , it seems a bit silly really but it used to terrify me, he did it a few times and when i tried to run away he grabbed me. The more i think about it the more wierd it is, can you tell me if this is sexual abuse or not and what to do about it please, thanks!

Well it all depends on how much older he was than you and how young you were. Some times when little kids are tiny and cute, family members tend to show off and do strange things like that. It was probably innocent. But if it really does bother you, then maybe you should talk to a parent and discuss how you're feeling. Hope I helped.

[view]

Well, me and this guy blaine have been best friends since the seventh grade. I mean best friends, i know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. I also have this best friend named Tanisha and she was the first person i told when i started having feelings for blaine. I never said anything to blaine, but in the eighth grade Tanisha told me she liked blaine. Blaine said that he only likes her for her body, and now they're together. I still like him, but i feel like neither of them cares about me any more. Everyone keeps saying just find sum1 else but its not that easy. What should i do?

It really does suck when you have 2 best friends and they end up together, especially if you liked the one guy. All i can tell you is that you have to put your feelings aside, and be happy for your friends. It is hard when you really like someone and you can't have them, but you seem young, and you shouldn't spend your life waitng around for this guy. You're friends are kinda of right when they say to find someone new. You don't have to just yet though. But you should work on egtting over this guy. Good Luck!

[view]

Im 14 years old and i hate my fucking pimples. how can i get rid of them? i have this acne pad face wash stuff and it still isnt working after about 2 weeks. Help me please...

Okay, well I used to have a bad acne problem, and my friend intriduced me to this stuff called natures cure. It is a 2 part system; pills and an oil free sentless cream, that has about 5% benezol peroxide. You take one pill in the morning and one at night. The pills are tasteless and they help stop whatever hormonal imbablance is causing you to break out. The cream, which you apply only to the pimples, not the entire face,(and a little goes a long way), makes the outbreak that is there go away. Each box comes with a one month supply and cost $10. You can get it at any pharmacy.

I recomend that you do what I do before putting the cream on. Okay, when I wake up, I take my pill. Then I take a bowl fill it with water, and put it in the microwave to heat up until it gets steamy. Then you put a towel over your head and put your face over the bowl, so all the steam is in your face. do this for about 5 mins. the steam makes your pores open up so all the gunk in them can get out. After steaming your face, wash it with a very mild soap (no medicated stuff). After pat-drying your face, apply the cream. Yes its a bit of a process, but it really does work, and I think its worth it to keep a clear face. If it doesn't work though, then I suggest you see a dermatolagist. Good Luck!

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker