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Him again and my S.A.D.
This is going to sound pretty freakin' stupid but last night I watched two of the Texas Chainsaw Massacres and I realized how much I want a boyfriend. Just someone to hold me while we watch horror movies and just someone I could share the warmth of being in a relationship with. I'm still young. I'm 14...but still...I can't help it. I know a lot of times being in a relationship at this age equals a lot of pain in sorrow in the end (most of the time). But at night I cry because I feel so alone and I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and it really hurts...and my heart feels shaky and I think a boyfriend could heal that. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm "depressed" a lot but I don't know...I have this boy in mind and he's just perfect in everyway. He's sweet and we only talk online because we go to different schools. (but we live in the same town) and wow...I just really like him and I just wish that he knew. I plan on telling him but I guess it would make everything weird and I just want to cry. I feel like such a fucking sap but I can't help it. I just want to scream out I like him but I have social anxiety disorder and I've asked some more questions before about this subject but it's just hard.
AND NO I CAN'T FREAKING CALL HIM ON THE PHONE...if anything I'm telling him online and even if I met up with him at the movies in person or something then I probably wouldn't even freaking talk to him because I'm so stupid and once again I let my social anxiety disorder conquer me...
Please help me...
This isn't some sappy kid love story...I just want him to know how I feel and I have NO CLUE how he will act and I'm scared of him rejecting me...
And I guess we tell each other a lot of things online...but I don't know...in my old school people made fun of me because of my S.A.D. which is why I tranferred. He understands me because I explained it to him and he was so sweet to me and it felt like he totally understood everything I had to say. I don't know what to do...he means a lot to me and he doesn't know it...
I told him so many things about my life and he told me quite a few things about his and if I tell him I like him and he doesn't feel the same way back to me I'm afraid everything will be gone between us. The nice talks online...and just...everything.
He is such a sweet boy like I said before and he just doesn't realize how much girls like him. I'm one of those girls...but it's different. I don't like him because of his cute face... (I havent even seen the "new" him) I haven't seen him in a year and people say he "got cute" and that kind of intimidates me...looks DO NOT matter to me but I just really fell in love with this boy's personality and he is so sweet and I know he would never do anythign mean to me I'm just afraid I'll embarrass him in front of his friends if I tell him I really like him. Of course if I ask him out he's going to tell them (because that's what friends do) and I'm afraid for some reason his friends (who are realloy nice...but) I'm just afraid that they will kind of try to persuade him out of ever talking to me again (and I know that sounds weird) but...I don't know... I just have a problem with always feeling like I'm holding peopkle back. I can't help that...I feel like I'm always putting people on the spot and that I should come second rather than first in anything in their life. I hate feeling liek I hold people back which is another reason why I don;t want to tell him.
But...I just don't know what to do...
I'm SO SORRY for this long question I'm just desperate and I really like him. I think about him all the time and I just want a chance with him...I'm really sorry if I took up any of your time...just please help me...
Thanks.
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I'm thinking that he wouldn't go to his friends right away. You two seem to have a really tight relationship, even though you never actually see each other. I think if you asked him out, that it would be between the two of you, not him and his friends. So, that much you shouldn't worry about.
Are your worried that your friendship will be ruined if he doesn't return your feelings? I would probably say that wont happen either. From what you say, I would think, if by chance, he doesn't return your feelings, then he'll still be your friend, and still be there when you need someone to listen to you. But you might be able to stop thinking about the "what if he likes me" and that would help you to think of him as only a friend, not a potential boyfriend, and might help you get over him.
On the other hand, he might feel the same way about you, but is also too scared to say anything, either way, I think it's better than your situation you are in now. If you never talk to him about this, then you'll always have the thought in the back of your mind.
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OK well I didn't read the whole thing I read the important parts but from what I read take this advice when your at that age yes there is pain and sorrow but don't let that stop u from probly finding someone that might love u.Yes it hurts to get burned cause I know what you have to do is keep trying to find a guy that is going to be truthful,honest,and loyal to u.By they way if u want a friend here's my e-mail address ok.
little_baby372000@hotmail.com
write there and tell me what's going on ok bye.
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I totally understand how you can't tell him in person or by phone. Tell him online, I doubt that he'll stop talking to you if he doesn't feel the same way. It sounds like he likes talking to you, so something like this wouldn't end that. I know you can't help but feel like your holding people back, but I really doubt you are. And since you already feel terrible all the time, having him say he doesn't feel the same way can't be too scarring. Try to tell him online as soon as you muster up the courage. Good luck.
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Well if you he understands you and is sweet to you and you guys seem to be really good friends then that should really help on telling him. Just tell him how you feel straight out and then put a away message on thats what somebody did to me when they asked me out because they were nervous. And at least he will know that you arent going for his looks and you will know he isnt going for yours either if you two do go out. Its always a bonus that he wont hurt either!! Dont worry what others think and whats other do.. well try not to worry i know thats always a hard thing to do but try not to. And you are never really holding someone back unless you have them chained up or something. Really putting him on the spot would be asking him out in person rather then online. So go for the gold and let me know how everything goes-trix
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You seem very depressed and that concerns me. Its not good to be that young and so sad. If one of the reasons you are feeling so down is because your feelings for this guy are eating up inside you because you still haven't said anything, then you NEED to get those feelings off of your chest. Yes rejection can be a scary thing, but if this guy is your friend, even if he doesn't feel the same, I'm sure he won't be mean about it. And let him know "I've gotta say something, but i don't want it to change us, you are a great friend..." And tell him how you fell. I gaurentee you, that once you get everything off your chest, you will feel better about you. Also, i would like to tell you, you should never feel as though you should be in 2nd place you should always keep your head up and put yourself first. When people can see you are confident, they admire you more. So be strong.
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