Matt's advice column

ok so theres this one guy at school and my best friend likes him but i like him to and he knows that she likes him but he donn't know that i like him and he flirts with me and my friend told me that if he starts going out with someone else she would get really pissed and if he goes out with me she is going to be pissed at me and she is my best friend... What should i do...

The period is your friend, use it. It's very difficult to follow one long run on sentence.

Anyway, you and your friend and this jackass are all acting like moronic nine year olds. And you should all get back to playing Yu Gi Oh or whatever you guys play when you come home from 4th grade.

In conclusion, you should be focusing on your Blue Eyes White Dragon, and not boys.

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which looks better on me?

Blonde: http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm268/crazii-skittles/?action=view¤t=RandomPics384.jpg

Brown:
http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm268/crazii-skittles/?action=view¤t=blurr.jpg

Thanks:)

Brown by far.

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if you give a guy a blowjob , will you get an STD ? and how do you know if you have and STD?

Depending on whether or not he has one and its type, it's possible to get an STD. Use a condom.

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36/m

Briefly, the facts of my situation are as follows:

I had an emotional affair. It was a long-distance matter between me and a woman I used to know before I met my wife. When my wife began to realize what was going on (and it didn't take her long, because I'm lousy at keeping secrets and she's very perceptive) I ended it, and told my affair partner that I would not be contacting her again. I meant it, too.

That might have been the end of it, but a couple of days ago my wife looked into my e-mail account and discovered everything had been going on - things that she had not been aware of and which I had not intended to tell her. To make a long story short, the nature of the affair had turned sexual, and there were E-mails sent back and forth where we described that sort of thing in detail. There were confessions of love from both sides, and intimate revelations of other sorts. There were also plans for us to try to get together sometime soon (plans which I aborted before my wife even found out about anything, because I came to my senses about that much at least). I was lying to my wife about all of these things, and now those lies are fully exposed.

Of course, my wife is furious and terribly hurt, and she is considering ending our marriage.

I am deeply remorseful of what I've done. Right now I can barely look my wife in the eye, because I am so ashamed of myself. I think I might take my own life if I didn't know that it would only make things worse for my wife and child (for now, my child remains unaware of anything wrong, that goodness for that).

I know that I committed a terrible wrong, and I want to make amends and repair my marriage. I need advice on how to do that. I am willing to do literally whatever it takes to make things right again. I want to change myself so that I will be a better man, someone she deserves to have for a husband, instead of the lying cheater that I have proven to be.

Does anyone have any thoughts on what I can do or say to convince her that my intentions are sincere, that I truly am sorry, and that it absolutely will not happen again? Are there any of you out there who have gone through this on either end and might have some advice for what I can do now? And can anyone give me some idea on how I can work to improve myself and my own personal integrity so that this doesn't happen again?

I ask only that responders refrain from slamming me down regarding my wrongful actions - nothing that anyone can say will make me feel worse about it than I already do, so to harp on that will be pointless. Please, just tell me what I can do now.

It is not recommended that you get marriage counseling, it is required. Your marriage has been shattered into tiny pieces which you have no chance of gluing back together, which is where a marriage counselor comes in. You were involved in an affair and cheated on your wife because obviously something was already broken in your marriage, at least for you. Counseling will help get these feelings out into the open so that you and your wife can work them out.

You don't want your marriage to go back to the point before the affair; there is something wrong there. You need to move forward with your life and push your relationship with your wife in a direction of change.

Good luck with your marriage.

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what are some other sayings for "smoking weed"

My friends made up this whole thing about weed being pie, buying it was going to the bakery, and smoking it was eating pie.

What a bunch of addicts.

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No what you wrote is wonderful. I am seeing a Behavioral Psychologist for my condition, and even though I don't see results, my family and friends have noticed a big changed in me. Like, instead of obsessing over having heart disease or Lymphoma[My uncle and grandmother died of those two things].. I've at least got down to smaller, less terminal illness.

Thank you so much-- and thank you for your AIM. If you ever get a MizzCTwoo16-- it's me.

I hope you don't think I'm crazy. I'm just a girl who's been getting picked on by her own habits, and I need to adjust my life.

Thank you for being so considerate. I love what you wrote.

Awesome, it's good that you're making progress and can recognize that you have a problem that needs to be solved, and I know that with time it will be.

And I don't think you're crazy, I know that mental disorders are things that occur from stress or anxiety or other things and the way that we deal with them sometimes results in a self-destructive or debilitating manner. So I can recognize and deal with that.

And I'm glad you found the advice helpful, though I can't imagine why. So yea, feel free to IM me, inbox me, etc. etc.

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what makes guys like girls? like what do most guys find hot and not?!

Someone comfortable with who they are and has the ability to *gasp!* carry a conversation.

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Ok remember the Zenon movies on Disney Channel??? Well is there any way to get those songs, (like the ones by Protozoa) from the movies????

I've searched Everywhere and I cant find them!

Thanks a bunch!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=32dHKPI086I&feature=related

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I'm asking you because I've read many of your responses,[one including your latest post on the hating babies thing] and I've grown to respect your wisdom and intelligence in all sorts of questions you've answered. You don't sugar-coat anything, and I know I'll get it straight from you.

In the passed few years, I've been around death. My uncle died at 47, 2 friends at 20, one at 22, and even seeing death in newspapers has really molded me into a hypochondriac.

Everyday I'm on the internet obsessing over my health and what could be wrong with me. I edit out all basic illnesses like a sinus infection or tendentious, and replace them with the most serious of conditions.

I envy all my friends who can just live love, and only be concerned with boyfriends, school, and work. Instead of me living my life, and sit around thinking of 40 ways I could die tomorrow.

It's sad, because I'm 21 and I should just want to live, right? I can't do that. And it's selfish and wrong, and all I want in this entire world is to fix it and be normal.

Okay, so I did some research on hypochondria and its causes, effects, ways to cope, prevention, and treatment. I'll just summarize them and give you the gist of them, plus the website I got the information from. In no way can I treat your disease or diagnose you (obviously), but hopefully we can work this out and create a plan of action for you that will ultimately result in you being freed from this burden.

Your most burning desire at this point I'm assuming is just to find some way to cope with this mental disorder. So, keep your bearings and monitor yourself. Rather than constantly checking your heart rate and breathing and such, focus on not going overboard on these things. If you can separate yourself from your actions that lead to your hypochondria symptoms, the symptoms will begin to decrease substantially. Also, find yourself a good doctor and stick with them. Often times, people with this disorder will "shop around" for different doctors in order to validate their feelings and beliefs, despite professional tests and opinions. Don't constantly look up different symptoms of horrible diseases on the Internet, because you'll only start to come up with your own symptoms that match these. Enlist the help of your friends and family and explain to them your feelings and symptoms, because then they'll be more likely to identify with what you're feeling rather than ostracize you and reject you.

This is a disorder that stems from anxiety and will certainly result in more anxiety, which as everyone knows will actually cause your health to deteriorate on top of affecting your social and professional life. Because of this, it would be a good idea to join a support group where you can learn the coping strategies of others that suffer from the same thing.

The death of multiple loved ones for you is definitely something that led to your hypochondria; it's listed as one of the main causes of it.

What is a good sign is that you are actually concerned for the well being of your mind and that you recognize that the thoughts and feelings you're having are not normal and are destructive. You need to be officially diagnosed by a licensed professional, no matter how many symptoms you identify with on the Internet. Once diagnosed, you can begin the journey of recovery and treatment with a trusted mental health professional. It is important to act quickly, because the longer you wait the worse things can become and the harder it will be for you to overcome the disorder.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypochondria/DS00841/DSECTION=1

That's where I got the majority of my information. If my advice turned out to be crappy and didn't live up to your complimentary first paragraph, which would really suck, then you can always IM on AIM at trisspoke.

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soo.. uhm...
whats "pwned" mean?

Ok, so pwned is synonymous with the word owned.

Now gather 'round children, and I'll tell you the story of the word pwned. One day, someone was playing in Counter Strike 1.6 and was enjoying his (waste of) time immensely. As all Internet gamers, this guy was sort of an asshole and had a huge ego to feed. He began to senselessly destroy his opponent, and when the round restarted he let out a resounding, "Owned!". However, he had not proofread and had made a typo. He accidentally replaced the O with a P, and from there, the word pwned caught on to describe the senseless destruction/rape/ownage exhibited by one person on another. The end.

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what are some good songs to run to?

THANKS

Jump Man by Buckethead
Straight Out of Line by Godsmack
The Grudge by Tool
Zero by Smashing Pumpkins

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So i absolutely HATEHATEHATE babies and anyone under the age of 10. they just really piss me off.
well my mom made me move in with her boyfriend who has 2 sons, one of which has a girlfriend who also lives with them. well she was pregnant. but they induced labor yesterday (gag) because she was a week overdue (big deal). and now its like everything revolves around that stupid thing, and its only been ONE DAY. my mom doesnt tell me i love you on the phone anymore she left me home alone all day today so she could go to the hospital and go see the repugnant thing, and i know that whenever my family comes over theyre not going to want to see me anymore its all gonna be about that monster.
so all im really asking is how do i make it through all this, and how do i not kill it, and deal with the crying, and all that shit. and most of all how do i get over my hate. because i seriously hate ALL kids.

Boo fucking hoo, you're acting like a sub-ten year old yourself. Are you so attention starved that you cannot get over the birth of a baby that has been alive for only a few hours? Do you know how ridiculous you sound when your only complaint is that your mom doesn't say she loves you on the phone anymore?

OBVIOUSLY everyone is fussing over this new life, what did you expect? If you thought things would go back to normal with everything being about you you you all of the time, you've grossly misjudged the situation in a way that is nothing short of pathetic.

I see you've already abused your rating privilege on the answers below, so let's go by this; the lower you rate me, the more truth there is to what I said.

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I need a song about how I pretty much stole one of my best friend's boyfriends..He's mine now.
Thanks.

I'm a Bitch by Alanis Morissette.

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yea.

so ive had this health teacher and i thought he was the coolest person ever. and then he said today:

"...males are only on earth to reproduce.."

.

this statement. it...it makes me want to kill myself. im a 15 year old boy and i thought about that sentence DEEPLY for a LONG TIME, and i think i should kill myself. my life is a lie. they say eat healthy and stay in shape yet everyone dies anyway, and thanks to that statement i rly am questioning whehter or not i should go on in life.

idk. any statements?

Just because your health teacher can't find any meaning in his own life doesn't mean you can't either.

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OK, I have a question.
Do people flirt with the opposite sex even when they dont like them..?

Yes.

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i am in my junior year of high school. i wont be taking my SAT's this june due to the fact that i cant find any test centers, which is unbelievable... would it be too late if i take my first one during the fall and the 2nd during spring? =/ im very worried...

btw Bronx, NY

Try to do both in fall. Out here in CA, the deadline for turning in both scores is December.

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Why do people think "well this is what all men do deal with it" when it comes to porn? Honestly, does every man in the world watch it? Isn't any woman confident enough to believe she is enough to please her man's sexual desires? In addition, why should one have to deal with something they feel is disrespectful? That's like saying that it's okay to be disrespected. While some people feel that it's okay, shouldn't those who feel otherwise have their wishes respected?

Probably 95 percent (random figure I just came up with) of guys with a computer watch porn. Porn was there before you were, and it will be there long after you're gone.

It's not a matter of pleasing your man's sexual desires; you could be banging him every hour on the hour and he would still watch porn. It's just the way guys are different from girls.

No one is forcing you to deal with something that is disrespectful. Unless he's addicted to pornography, there is a nothing wrong with it, and it would be disrespectful to try to get him to stop because of your own insecurities.

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what are songs baout your past.

H. by Tool is about abuse. Nice and happy.

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I'm getting my wisdom teeth out and I am very afraid of anesthesia. I'm getting general anesthesia where they put you to sleep. Has anyone had this type? Are you actually unconscious or are you sedated and sleeping? What are the differences? I heard horror stories about wisdom teeth. I'm usually pain tolerant, so I'm not afraid of the actual surgery. It's just the anesthesia. Does anyone have any advice/suggestions? Thanks!

Yup, I had that last summer, IV and everything. They put something in your mouth to keep it open, then prick you with the needle thing, which really doesn't hurt at all. Your eyes immediately get heavy, and then the doctors start talking about random stuff and before you know it you're waking up groggy.

The procedure is painless and over before you know it. You might be a little weird when you wake up. Apparently I was constantly asking what time it was when I was first coming out of it.

The next week or so sucks pretty bad, what with the holes in your mouth and the stitches. The stitches come out or dissolve after a few days, and you'll probably have some sporadic bleeding. You'll be limited to apple sauce, milk shakes, etc. Your healing rate really depends on who you are. It took me a week to begin eating solid foods, and I wasn't visibly swollen. My friend was a freaking chipmunk but was eating pizza practically the next day.

You really have nothing to worry about. Good luck!

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