kitty_kat123's advice column

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Q: ok well i really want my hair chemically straighted but all ym friends say it is really really bad for you. i kno its kinda true but i hate my hair! like whatever i do it wont get straight. becasue i have really wavy hair its not curly its just like wavy and i hate it! i have a really good straigtner but it still dosnt get my hair straight. so i was wondering how chemically straigtning works.

like how much does it cost?
will it hurt?
how long will it last?
and like other things like that so help me please and thankyou!!

OMG! Whatever you do, don't get it chemically straightened. I swear to god my mom did that and her hair like... broke all over place. She had to chop it all off and it used to be really long. Your friends are right. It does burn but only a little. Not really. I hope I helped.
Best of luck!
Email me for updates if ya want!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Ok heres the deal..im 14 and in the 9 grade and i feel like i have no friends..i mean yea i talk to people at school but idk like at lunch i sit with these ppl that my "friend" sits w. and i dont even sit by her i sit at the end of the table w. these boys and i dont even tlk to them i just sit there and eat my lunch. Then there comes the weekends and i have nothing to do and i usually stay home w. my mom and dad and i come home every day after school its really is pathetic..any idea to help me?

Well,
it seems to me like you need to get close to someone. Talk to one person a lot. Someone who's nice to you, who respects you, and who doesn't mind telling you his/her secrets. Then, get his/her phone number. Call them up on the phone on the weekends and invite them to a movie or to come over and hang out. Trust m,e, you have friends. EVERYONE has friends no matter what. I have been through my teen years but still... I know what it's like to be teen. O.K? You know that we all luv ya here at ADVICENATORs.COM. O.K? Luv ya, girl
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Hey there! Im 13 and i kno i have a HUGE weight problem and i admit it!!! I live in such a small town with nothing to do!!! I skate to skool and bak (And becuz my house is out of my skool boundarie it is pretty far, i skate pretty far) but im still over weight and i try to watch what i eat and only drink diet soda and water but i sit on the computer alot and i need help!!!
Thanx in advance!!!

Well,
for a lot of teens like yourself, weight is a big issue in other girls (and sometimes guys') lives. However, there is a solution. You can excercise every day. If you have a backyard, great. Run about 20 laps a day in your backyard. (depending on size) if you live in an apartment complex, even better, do about 5 of those a day and in weeks, you'll have lost weight. Put yourself on a diet. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T MAKE YOURSELF THROW UP OR STARVE YOURSELF. IT DOESN'T HELP. Wacth what calories and sugars are in your foods and don't sit on the computer so much. Do an after school activity. Examples are cheerleading, soccer, tennis, badminton, chess, ANYTHING YOU LIKE TO DO! :-) it will help you get out of the house more AND try to do something active, something that requires work! Best of luck and don't worry sweetie, this problem is VERY common with girls your age!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: im 18/m. I had a gay realtionship about a year ago, and it went on for about 6 months. Im now tired of guys and im with my girlfriend. I really should tell her that i was with this guy, she has no idea that i was. She even knows the guy. How can i tell her w/o her finding out who it was, and will she leave me if she finds out?

I know you're always taught not to lie but I really don't think you should tell your girlfriend because I, myself, am a girl. And for one, I wouldn't like the idea of my boyfriend having a gay relationship with anybody, especially if I knew the guy... gross. Well, don't tell her... unless it's just EGGING tou to... sometimes you get carried away like... you're afraid that if you tell her, she'll dump you and if you don't and she finds out anyway, she'll dump and if she never knows about it, you'll feel guilty for not telling. Either way it's bad. If it's bothering you bad, tell her but say it was some years ago. Try to make her understand. Best of luck!
Please email me for updates!
~~~Kayla~~~*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Q: i am 15 and never liked someone as much as i like "4" ( we will pretend thats his name* He was my first boy that i fell head of heels in love with. We hooked up and sadly he was the first person ive ever done anything with. and he knew that and made that night i spent with him one of the best in my life. i went to the spring dance with him, i had a great time and so did he!BUT here comes the problem, hes next door neighbor is in love with him....and shes was getting pissed at me because i was with him at the dance and ya i think they hooked up this past weekend. i never really had him but i thought i was close and i dont want him to go. another problem is he is 18 and heading off for the whole summer and then he wil be gone in the fall for college. i really dont know what to do,im sick of beeing confused can u please help me :(

Well, this guy obviously means a lot a lot to you and you definitly mean a lot to him... forget about that skanky next door neighbor. You didn't see him with her at the dance, did you? NO! He was taking time out of his day to spend with you! That's love! About the whole... college issue... it's about his education. Sweetie, there's nothing you can possibly do about it. He HAS to go to college. But on holidays, they let out college students and he can see you. It might not be a whole lot but... still... it should be good for you. You can write a letter every day and stuff. I remember when I was in college. The guy I was dating never went to college so I had to break up with him because we were in Texas and I went to Arizona State University! Still, you guys love each other. Just... hang in there, sweetie. You can handle this. BE TOUGH! LOL.
LUV YA LOTS!
BEST OF LUCK!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Well i have been dating this guy and i really really really like him. the problem is we never see each other. i still like him a ton and i know he likes me. i sometimes think about breakin up with him but then i think i am gonna regret it later or break his heart. should i continue going out with him (even though i never see him) or should i break up with him? any advice would be nice :-] thanks a ton

Stay with him. There are other forms of contact. Examples are emails, phones, or even a fax machine or letter! There are lots of ways to communicate. Even if you never see each other, I think that it would be best if you stayed with him. Maybe one day, yall with reunite and get married or something. You guys like each other so don't do anything rash like breaking up with him just because you never see him. That WILL and it WILL end whatever friendship yall might have had. Just take my advice. Trust me. Best of luck!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Im 16 and never really have had a bf. I act really self concious but all i really want is a boyfriend. Yah know someone who will like me for me and care about me. I know i have family and friends but it's not the same. Iv gotten to the point where i think im so ugly that i dont even have crushes anymore i just think some guys are hott. Maybe another reason is because most of my school probably thinks im bi or a lesbian b/c im friends w/ people who are bi lesbian and gay. But im straight. It seems wrong to want a bf more then anything but all i want is someone to show effection towards. How come everyone esle gets one but i dont. Alotta the time i just think god put me on earth just to piss me off. I dont wish i was dead and im not really suicidal or anything. Im just tired of waiting everyday for something i dont think is ever gunna happen. What can i do to maybe put myself out there or b happier. Im not into being a girly girl so making myself over isnt my first choice.

Honey,
you're 16. You have plenty of time. Someone is out there looking for you. They're saying they want a girl just like you. Somewhere at your school, a hot guy likes you for you and doesn't want you to know. Human beings are never ugly. Godm made us to all look alike one the inside. The point is I like you for you and someone else ( a guy) does too. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't have to change to get a boyfriend. The more forward you are, the better the results.
BEST OF LUCK!!!*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: hey (im a 14 yr. old girl)
i think i like my best guy friend who i've know since i was 3. the complicated thing is that im a twin and he used to like her. how do i know if he likes me or my identicle twin?

The best thing to do is ask him if he likes your sister. DO NOT ask him if he likes you because you will sound desperate and that's not good. If he says no, go for it. There will be lots of chances in life. LET THIS BE ONE OF THEN! If he still likes her, forget about it. I really don't see why he wouldn't like you because you look like exactly like your twin and you're probably better acting, too. LOL. Well, go for it, anyway. By the way, I think maybe you should ask your sister if it's alright. Tell her your problems and stuff. O.K?
Luv ya, sweetie!
Best of lucj!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Okay, I went out with this guy in November, we didn't know eachother all too well, rushed into a physical relationship, and ended up breaking up in 2 weeks. We've both seen other people since then. Recently, we've hooked up and been talking more, now that we're both single. We've hooked up a few times recently and Im afraid that if i become emotionally attached to him again, he may not want to get back together. Question is, should I get back together with him if the subject comes up? Should I let him know that I may becoming emotionally attached to him again? Im 14/f he's 15/m

It all depends. Did he break your heart so badly that you'll remember it it 70 years or did you just DECIDE one day to break up? If it's the first one, then I don't think yall should get back together because he did something bad and he doesn't deserve you. If yall just decided to break up after two weeks because yall got sick of each other, yes, I think you should spend more time together. However, I DO NOT think you should get all that emotionally, even physically, attracted to him AGAIN because history will repeat itself over and over. If you still love him, take a chance and go for it!
BEST OF LUCK!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: my boyfriend and i broke up on monday. and i knew it was gonna hppen since a week and a half ago. but. i still like him. and i need to get overhim, hes a very bad person. i need to stop thinking about all the good feelings and times we had together. because i start crying again. i want to be over him. i wake up every morning with a heavy heart and i dont think he even cares. thats what gets me too. any advice on how to forget?

What I do after getting my heart broken is doing something reallt fun with your friends. If he's a really bad person, he SHOULD be easy to forget. Go to Splashtown, skydive, Wavepool, something EXTREMELY COOL AND FUN! Try it. If it works, email me. If it doesn't, email me and I wil,l give you new ideas. O.K, sweetie?
Best of luck!!! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: I've been hooking up with this guy for about 3 monthes now. His birthday is in a few weeks (he'll be 17) and I have NO idea what to get him. We're not going out... just hooking up. His style is preppy and he's into sports too. Any ideas for gifts? I was thinking maybe a good cologne... any of you know anything that smells amazing? (I'm willing to spend up to around $35-$40)Thanks!!!

Well,
my dad used to use Drakkar Noir. It smells really good! It makes him smell young but really amazing. Hope I helped.
Best of luck.
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: F/13
ohk so i've had many boyfriends b4. yeah i've also made out with them b4. but now that we all are getting older all they seem to want to do is touch kiss nd SEX ! so i like this guy nd he likes me, the problem is dat when he asks me out i always say i dunno! i dont have a clue why. i get really nervous b4 i go out with some1 nd its not even funny i get so like scared. but once im goin out with them i am happier than ever. so i dunno why that happens ? help me please

Well,
I guess you get nervous because you know that what he wants is sex and you get nervous because of the topic. If you're a virgin, you're wondering and if you're not a virgin, you're kind of scared because you don't know if you can really trust this guy with your body. I guess it's normal because you get nervous and shy around him because you like him and he likes you. BEST OF LUCK!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: How can I get people to ask me for advice?

You can't really MAKE people ask you for advice. There's no way. I never get people to ask me for advice in my inbox but you can answer unanswered questions and MAKE THEIR DAY! :-)
~~~kAYLA~~~

Q: My BF and I have been going out for a month. And we kiss and W/E outside of school, but past couple of days we have been doing little kisses after 4th. we both feel kinda uncomfortable cause all my friends go AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW really loudly n obviously when we do and its really annoying! i've told them to stop but they dont! have can i make them?! i rate ^^

You need to tell them. Say, "What?! Haven't you seen two people kiss? Get over it!" if you get really pissed. If you want to tell them nicely say, "Guys, I... flattered that you think my relationship is "cute" but could you PLEASE stop saying "Awwwwwww" everytime we have a "moment"... please."
That should work. My friends used to do that too.
Best of luck.
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: ok. this might be long and if it is im sorry. anyway. first of all, im 14/f. i said i would always be straight, but there is this one girl. shes 17/f. i dont no. just every time i no im goin to see her i get VERY happy. when i dont see her i kind of get depressed. we play softball together in the fall. she only talks to me then. whenever softball is over, we barely talk. when i see her and she doesnt say anything to me, it kills me. when she looks at me and smiles, i go crazy. i want to be like her and have everything she has. it kills me. she is also graduating next year and i will prolly rarely ever see her after that. and that thought CRUSHES me. sometimes i cry myself to sleep because i can barely talk to her. i want to get to no her and maybe (?) start a special bond with her. also, she is bi (i think, that is what everyone says). whatever she asks me to do for her, i will do it in a heartbeat. is this really a crush, love, or jealousy? im tellin you, i CANNOT live without this girl!

This is... normal, for lesbians. There is no problem loving someone sexually with the same sex as you. It's cool that you are like this... I don't have anything against it. I think it is an obsession, but that's not a bad thing. You love this girl and she [possibly] loves you back. Keep talking to her. Maybe... if you're brave anough... youch her leg and see if she likes it or not. Take it from there. Yall could have a very special relationship. Luv ya!
~~~Kayla~~~
Email me for updates. I would LOVE to hear from you.

Q: Ok, this past week, I went to Disneyworld to march in the parade with the band. (yes, I'm a bandgeek...) Well, my really good friend, Nicole, was sitting with me on the busride to Floriday (24 hours, yuck!) and the way there and the 1st few days of Disney were fine, but then she started getting on my nerves. At the time, I didn't think she was a lesbian at all. She was just NOT giving me my space and was hanging around me A LOT. She basically wouldn't leave me alone. And from then on, she started acting really weird. I'm gonna tell you the things that she did, but they're not gonna be in order lol. Well, for one, we were at Epcot and playing in the fountain like 4-year-olds, but hey it was fun lol. She kept picking me up and trying to get on top of me. And then, long after we dried off, she had wet spots on her boobs. So disgusting. On the bus ride home, I'm like, trying to sleep, and every time I look, she's watching me. Then later, I woke up later that night and her butt was pressed against mine and if I'm not mistaken, it was moving up and down. Then on the monorail, she has all this room, but is like, on top of me. So I move over, and she moves closer, and that kept happening. Just a lot of that kind of stuff. So me and my new friends Kelly and Molly and my other friend Amber ditched her at Magic Kingdom, and yeah, we're not talking (not that I care). But now, I'm just really freaked out. I told my friends, and we thought about it for awhile, and a lot of stuff she told us before was all starting to make sense and we really think she's bi or a lesbian. So what should I do? I don't really want to be her friend anymore, and I'm just really freaked out. I could probably say more, but I don't want this to be too long, so if you want more details, IM me on x HappyBunni16 x. Sorry so long, but I'm really scared.
P.S. I have nothing against lesbians, just when they hit on me and my friends.

Please email me and tell me MORE. I need more detail, sweetie. LOL. Well, that IS creepy and I really agree with you. You can't really FOR SURE say she's a lesbian unless she tells you face to face. Ask her. That's disgusting. BTW, I like guys and couldn't imagine my life without them. LOL. WELL, email me ok?
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Me and this girl Katie hung out all weekend. She wanted me to come over, but I had to wait till 3:30 (its wus 11:30 at the time) another girl Jessica called me and Katie to go to the pool, but Katie couldn't go b/c her parents couldnt drive hur to Jessica's house. So me and Jessica went to the pool and I feel bad for blowing off Katie, what should I do?

Well, you have absolutely nothing to worry about unless she's mad at you. After all, you're a good friend for inviting her in the first place. It was her parents' fault... you WANTED her to go but she couldn't because her parents couldn't drive her so don't feel bad because YOU didn't do anything. And tell Katie this. Tell her "I'm really sorry for going without you. I really wanted you to go." Tell her it wasn't much fun, even if it was, just to make her feel better. Let her know you would have rather her gone too than JUST you and Jessica. Tell her this. Best of luck. Luv ya sweetie!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Okay i have this really big jealously problem... i mean i don't get jealous but when people try to make me jealous i get REALLY REALLY MAD!! i dont' know why i get that way... but okay here's the story

On my class trip i liked this guy and i didn't like him anymore lets call him Billy well billy i think liked me and he sat by this girl lets call her nina well on the way back home nina and billy were sitting really reallly close and billy had his arm around her... nina is just like a slut and lets guys do whatever they want .. well i was sitting on the floor and he kept on looking at me to see if i saw what he was doing!!! it got me so mad!! i moved up to the front and started like yelling to my friends and telling them i was going to f****** kill him (haha i know a little out of hand) but i guess my question is .. is there a certain way why i get that way? or do i need some anger management!!!! lol

ps. sorry so long!

Jealousy is normal, especially when a guy you likes doesn't like you back. Sometimes, they do like you but they don't want to break up with their girlfriends because they are easy to get into their pants. The reason why he isn't going out with you yet is because you're smart and you're not what he's looking for... he's an idiot... he wants a slut and you're not that. You get jealous because of it. Because Nina dresses and acts the way she does, it attracts more guys and guys think she is easy... that is how dressing seriously effects your reputation. You're a smart girl and jealousy is normal... don't worry about it. You want Billy but he doesn't want you because he knows you're not as easy... you're the "hard to get" kind of girl. You're the "you gotta know me inside, and I don't mean inside my pants" kinda gal... you know? You're way too good for him... THERE'S PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA and there's a really hot guy out there lookin' for someone JUST LIKE YOU and guess what? He's better than Billy. Forget him! He's a jerk. He wants to brag and he's TRYING to make you jealous... once he sees his plan is working, he's happy. Don't let him see your jealousy. You find someone else and make HIM jealous. Let him know who's boss and that he's not so great. He'll know! LOL. Well, Best of luck, sweetie.
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: I am looking for some web sites that sells clothes/shoes/bags/jewlery/etc. I am into alot of different styles--so any suggestions about where you shop online would be appreciated! thanks!

EBAYS's a good one... you can actually find them all over... I shop online ALL the time... and off the T.V. :-P
Best of luck! P.S. EBAY would be good for you but only if you like used stuff. If you don't, then you can go to http://www.yahoo.com and on WEB search, search what you want to buy and you can buy it BRAND NEW! It's awesome! Best of luck...
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: ok im 13 and im sort of dating this 16 year old for a while we have been close and like his friend is going out with my frie so we go places with each other. well i get out of school on the 24 and we were all going to walk to there house and hang out there but ive never been to his house b for do you think i should go remember he's 16 and im 13.?

I don't think you should go IF THERE IS NOT AN ADULT CLOSE TO YOU IN THE SAME HOUSE!!! You are onlt thirteen. I mean, he might not mean it like that. He might just want to watch a movie or talk but make sure there is an adult. Have you ever learned about sex in school and how it will change your life dramatically if you are too young to do it? Even if yoiu use a condom, nothing is 100% sure of not getting you pregnant. The condom could tear or something. Just... be careful. If he moves too fast, tell him to listen to you. After telling him three time to listen, if he doesn't stop and ask you "What's the matter?" or something, you need to fight him off before he tries to do something. Chances are he's a nice guy and doesn't want you like THAT but you have to know what COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T BE CAREFUL TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING. If he is touching you, and you think it feels... kinda good, still, you need to get him away and tell him you're not ready for that yet. If he's a good boyfriend, he'll listen to you and respect your feelings. Best of luck, sweetie. Remember, just be careful, O.K?
~~~Kayla~~~