about

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]

Laura/22/England



Facebook
Forum

advice

Ok so I recently discovered thumb piercings, but i only seem to be able to find one photo of it. i think they're lovely, but i need some information on the aftercare and whatnot, because google is not coming up with much besides handweb piercings. i found a little on finger piercings, so would the risks/aftercare procedures be the same or is it different since you use your thumb more?

Piercings like this aren't meant to be permanent, although some people are lucky enough to keep them for years without infection or rejection.
You won't know what will happen to yours until you try.
To be perfectly honest though, I wouldn't recommend a thumb piercing, because hands are a top spot for germs to get in. and you're right, you do use your thumbs more.
The hand web is a better option because it's flexible and I'm assuming it wouldn't be uncomfortable, like the thumb would. It obviously won't get in the way as much, too.

http://bmezine.com/pierce/11-surface/hand001.html

This is the best site for body mods. I've linked you to the hand piercing page. I'm not sure if there are thumb piercings on it, but you get the idea.
I assume the risks and aftercare will be quite similar for all hand related piercings.
but if you want the best advice, I highly recommend finding a decent piercer and talking it through with them. They know what's best for you and can answer all your questions. I'll also add there are different types of piercings, so maybe an actual barbel/whatever through your thumb wouldn't be good, but another type would - which may even be permanent.

[view]

I really hate my ex. I usually just ignore him because he's not worth a second of my time. However, lately he's been spreading nasty rumors about me. It's frustrating because by denying them, it only makes people think they're even more true. You know? Gahh! It's so frustrating and I don't know what to do about it. Help?

Been there.

Who cares what your ex says.
Who cares what people think.

Carry on denying anything that's not true and just get on with your day.
Your ex WANTS you to be hurt by it. He WANTS to get a reaction from you. He needs some form of satisfaction, as you broke up.
People won't think they're true just because you deny them. I'm sure they don't even care and they probably know he's just being spiteful because you aren't together any more.
Pretend it's not bothering you. Don't talk to him at all, just carry on and ignore him, okay?
He'll stop when he sees he's wasting his time.

[view]

I am a female and in the seventh grade....I have a problem in school and i'm hoping you can help me....there's a 8th grade boy in school who always flirts with me dirty and really freaks me out...he writes to me in notes that he likes the way I change in the dressing room: he sliped a note in my locker like this "Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!" ....another one like this ......."what did your left leg say to your right leg? don't know they never met! because my tounge is always down there" ....and he told me this in person ...."Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion the clothes you're wearing weigh exactly two pounds!....it grosses me out and the worst part is My boyfriend says i'm acting weird so he thinks i'm cheating with him....i sure hope you can tell me the easiest thing to do.



Look, you don't have to put up with this.
You have 2 options.
Tell him to stop, seriously. Better still, ask him why he does it. Does he think it's funny? Because you certainly don't.
If he doesn't stop, tell a teacher. and make it clear to him you aren't afraid to tell someone about it.
In the mean time, don't let it get to you and ignore him. He obviously wants reactions from you. If you don't give him them, he'll soon get bored.

[view]

hi,
im 14 and my penis is 4.5 inchs hard. is this correct or is it small for my age.

http://www.coolnurse.com/penis_size.htm

Check that site out. It has the average sizes for people of different ages.

You shouldn't worry about it at your age, though, because you're 14. You aren't fully developed yet.

[view]

Is there anything wrong with NOT shaving down there? I know it's just a doctor and they've seen it all, but is there like a "rule" as to what you do?

Of course not. Do what you want.

[view]

where EXACTLY is the clit? im confused, is it in the hole where you get fingered? or somewhere else? thanks :]

Here is a lovely diagram!

http://www.cs.nsw.gov.au/cancer/sgog/assets/Vulva.jpg

[view]

f/15
does it really hurt for a girl for the first time cause if it hurt so bad then why do people do it again>>>

Depends. It hurts some, where as others, it doesn't.
It didn't hurt at all my first time.
People do it again because if it hurt the first time, the pain goes away the more you do it. It won't hurt forever.. and then it'll be pleasurable.
If you're worried about it hurting when your first time comes, make sure you're totally ready and relaxed. Maybe even use lube if you want.

[view]

Well me and my boyfreind arent talking at them moment well lets start with the basics. Im 14 this is like my 30th boyfreind I swear it just never works out me and him have been dating for 1 year. He wants to go all the way and im not ready for the responslablty of a babie if I get pregant and im jsut not ready so what should I do he said he wanted to dump me but I love him he is the only guy I ever told I loved i mean plenty of guys had said I love you but i didnt say it back.

YOU should stick to what you believe in. DON'T put out.
It's simple - if he loved you, he wouldn't have a problem with waiting until you are 100% ready.
There's absolutely NO rush for sex. What makes this worse is you're not even at a legal age yourself to be doing it.
Look, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but YOU should be giving the ultimatums here - not him.
Tell him, he can either wait, or YOU break up with him. No one should feel pressured into having sex at such a young age.
Luckily, it seems like you have your head screwed on and you're being mature about it.
Sex isn't all about fun and games. It has a very serious side to it.
If he still pressures you about it, you need to do the right thing and let him go. and I promise you, in good time, you'll find someone who respects you. You are only 14 after all. Save it for when you're ready and for someone who deserves it.

[view]

how do i get rid of it ASAP?
by burnnn i mean
i ate something hott, and it burned it.
not like spicy.
but temp. wise.

Your best bet is to just leave it. Try not to poke it with your tongue etc. To ease the pain, drink cold drinks, possibly ice. If it's that bad, painkillers might help, or rubbing bonjela on can numb any pain.
The good thing about mouth cuts/burns is they go away pretty fast.
I know they're not nice, but it'll be gone soon.

[view]

is "kinky" considered a cuss word?
like if you said it in front of mom or dad what would they say?
or in front of a high school teacher?

It's not swearing. I don't think it's appropriate for parents and teachers ears though!

[view]

Ok, so i've liked a lot of guys in my life, but I have done NOTHING with any of them does that make me a slut? If I liked so many guys? ...
I mean alot of them i found out are friends w/the guys i used to like and some of them get mad and call me a slut. When I have done nothing with any guy, I'm just the kind of girl who moves on quickly if it doesn't work out between me and a guy, is that wrong?
Some guys ask me sexual questions and i answer but does that make me a slut, when i still haven't done anything with a guy? I've only made out with guys but i have not yet went past that yet. So does that make me a slut? and how do i deal with these guys?

Of course it doesn't make you a slut. You are free to fancy who you like, when you like.
What do you do about it? Nothing! Let them say what they like. You can defend yourself if you want.."how does LIKING someone make me a slut?" but if I were you, I'd just totally ignore it, because the more they see it's getting to you, the more they're going to say things. When they ask you sexual questions, whatever you do, don't lie to make yourself sound "cooler". Just simply don't respond. What the hell business is it of theirs anyway?
Seems to me they're just being immature school kids.
Don't worry about it. and remember liking someone and moving on definitely isn't wrong.

[view]

If you have oral sex are you still a virgin? or is sex, sex, or is it just something sexual because my friend said it's concidered half but that dosen't make any sense it's either your a virgin or your not.

There are alot of debates about this.
Oral sex, in my eyes, is a form of sex, but the way I see it is, you're only not a virgin if you have sexual intercourse - meaning penis entering vagina.

[view]

my ipod didnt come with an itunes cd
so where can i get itunes other than downloading it

You have to download itunes. Another reason for not having a CD is because itunes needs to be updated every now and then. You can't do this with a CD.

[view]

she had pervious guys (our guy friends) liking her in that way, when they moved on she didnt care, she didnt get jealous she just ask who it was. she just surpisly became jealous and then deny what she told me. by saying she was being over proctive? why do people do that?

It's impossible to pinpoint the exact reason, since only she really knows what she feels deep down.
It may be different in this situation because you're a girl - she might feel a strong bond with you and is afraid she'll lose you to this guy - hence the being over protective part.
Maybe she even liked having another girl like her more than a friend, or is trying to make you feel a little guilty.
If I were you, I'd leave it for now and if she feels she needs to say anything to you about it, I can guarantee, she will.
So don't probe or bring it up any more than you really have to! Remember, she'll talk to you if necessary.

[view]

I have VERY disturbing boobs
My left is almost a Dcup while my right its just a pity Acup
Is there something wrong?
I'm in 8th grade
It's starting to be slitly noticable if you look hard enough when I'm dressed
I can like, never be groped or have sex with anybody untill this is fixed
I'd die of embarrasment
And, I am NOT telling my parents about this FYI
Nooo way in HELL

Whilst it's perfectly normal for one to be slightly bigger than the other, it seems like yours is in need of a check up to pinpoint what's going on.
You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about and it's more common than you think.
Is it possible to book a doctors appointment or see a school nurse? There are things that can be done to solve your issue, but you need to overcome the embarrassment first.

[view]

how do i tell my best friend that the guy we both like, like's me and we're kind of talking?

:/

As you probably know, it can jeopardize your friendship, as some people feel strongly about friends coming before boyfriends/girlfriends.
If your friend is understanding and you're willing to risk that, just come clean. Ask her if she'd mind if anything happened between you and the guy. and actually listen to what she has to say. You can't blame her if she's not too keen on the idea, but if you get round to dating this guy, let your friend know you'll always be there for her and nothing will change that, and you won't drift apart because you're seeing a guy - as that's what most friends worry about.

[view]

I love doing stuff for other people and i love making other people happy but i've kind of wondered if i'm only trying to make everyone else happy to like cope with all my problems or like ignore my problems and happiness and stuff like that what do you think

Maybe you're just a genuine, caring, nice, person.
If you feel like you're neglecting your own problems and focusing just on others, you will know.
Are you happy with your life? Are there things bothering you right now?
Whilst it IS nice to help people, you should come first.
So if you do feel like you're pushing your problems aside, it's really best not to and you should definitely talk to someone about any issues you have, as it will make you feel better and realize - people can help and do things for YOU too.

[view]

Whenever a guy is experienced it's always a turn-off to me. Like if he's done alot of stuff with girls or even just a little. Is this normal does anyone else feel this way?

I suppose it's normal for some people to feel that way. I know you probably want to be the only one a guy you're interested in does things with, but you can't change their past, unfortunately. You just have to forget about what they've done previously and focus on your own relationship with them.

[view]

If she isnt interrested...then why...?
did she say this to me when i told her i met a guy at a party.

"I dont know if is should be happy or pissed"
and
"I guess time will tell for the both of us"

i told her how i felt but she doesnt like me in that way, and i ask her if she was jealous and she said yes, but isnt into me more than a friend.

i dont get it?
i am a bisexual female

I reckon she thinks you're not going to like her in *that* way any more. She's jealous you're moving on and isn't going to be the one you like - because lets face it - people like to know they are liked and fancied. and even if that person doesn't like you back, it still feels like a sense of loss.

[view]

me and my guy friend have drifted apart.
we no longer talk.

he Imed me today talking about him and this one girl having sex, and that was the end of it.
thats all he has said to me in like a week.

and i just broke down, bc i feel like he said that just to rub it in my face and it really hurt.

why do you think he did that? was he trying to make me jealous?

Most probably. Or he wants to brag about it to .. anyone who listens basically.
but y'know what? You're better than that. You don't need his immaturity bringing you down.
I know it hurts, but whatever you do, don't show how it's making you feel to him - because he won't stop.
Act like you don't care and within time, it will start to hurt less, I promise. and in time, you'll find someone who actually deserves you and makes you feel as special as you do to him (assuming you liked him in *that* way).
Cheer up.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker