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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
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advice
My bf of 9 months just dumped me. We were Absolutly head over heels in love. He comes from a super strong Christian background but when he was in his early 20's pretty much split away from the church. His fam is super religous still and recently have been attempting to bring him back to the church. The past month he became distant because he was so torn on what to do. He is very about loyalty to fam and was struggling w the fact that they would dis-own him if he didn't come back. He's almost 30 and says he had been thinking of one day trying church again and so because of the pressure of losing his fam, he has decided he really wants to make a good hard effort now. Because I am not of the same faith, he said he had to end it. His family would never accept him marrying a girl not a part of their church. He said he still wants to stay friends because as bf/gf we are also each other's best friends. My bday is in 1 1/2 months and he says he wants to still get me something and I asked and he agreed maybe hang out if we are ready. Till then I'm going to back off and let us both heal for a while first, but do you think down the road maybe we could work on things once he feels more like he has a grasp on this? I've even been considering maybe converting if in a few months I'm still not over him. I don't know how to go about bringing that idea up as well. Has anyone else ever gone through this and had it work out, or is it pretty much, if it's about religion, it's over...?
His family is more important to him than you. You can deny this or defend him all you want, but based upon his actions, it's true. You may even say that it's okay if your family is more important than your girlfriend. Do you think that someone's family should be more important than their spouse? Of course not. If you were to marry him what would make anything change? It's not just his decision to follow a particular religion that we're talking about here. Your family shouldn't ever be more important than yourself. He decided to go back to the religion because of them, not because of him and what he really wants to do or believe. His family's wishes are the most important thing in is life. This is a hard truth that you need to come to understand and you need to realize that it's not good. Your feelings are getting in the way of seeing that he's a bad person to be in a relationship with because of what he has done here. If you find a way to get back together with him, his family will always be an issue. Whether it's about religion, kids, or something else. It's best to move on. If HE changes his mind again and decides to be with you, maybe it's worth trying, but leave it up to him. If he is going to cater to what his family wants rather than what he wants, he's not going to ever be a good partner for you. Something like this causes huge problems within a marriage. Even if you're okay with accepting it now because you love him, you won't be okay with it later, especially when kids are involved. The last thing you want to do is begin catering to his family yourself. Converting to a religion for the primary reason of being able to date someone is completely ridiculous, desperate, and pathetic (and you probably know that). You should only convert to a religion because you believe it, not so that you can be with a guy. If you're interested in Christianity, look into it and see if it's for you. Don't do it for him. It wouldn't be believable and is an insult to the religion. If you're able to be friends with him go for it, but it might be difficult to just be friends at this point. I may sound kind of harsh, but when you're desperately in love with someone, you're bound to do something stupid if someone isn't harsh with you. It may be hard to see something like caring about your family and being religious as a bad, unforgivable dealbreaker, but it should be in this case because he's doing it for the wrong reasons. Get out and get over him now before you get in too deep. It will only feel worse the farther you make it with him. Just because you love someone does not make them right for you. Good luck.
I have a question if I have a to go pre paid phone but I put that sm card in an I phone and I'm on a friends wifi and I post something dumb talking about someone. If someone like the law were to trace what I post what will they pull up the wifi address my IP address? Which would be bunch of numbers and What if my I phone has my name as it's name? Can they pull that up? Will my IP address on my phone give me away?
Yes it will. Absolutely. Don't say dumb things. If you have to say dumb things, never put them in writing. It will come back to you. This means that in order to say dumb things, you have to say them to the person's face. Since you don't want to do this, you must be a complete coward or you're just trying to hurt people. Either way, you should probably think about being more of a better person who says smart things and less of a loser who says dumb things. Good luck.
I'm going on a diet and I only want to eat around 500 calories a day (with little to no cheat days) I was wondering if this is safe/ healthy as long as I get all if my vitamins and nutrients. My Bmr is about 1,400 and I'll be exercising so I know I'll lose weight. I've been eating avocado, almonds, milk, oranges, apples, bananas, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, oatmeal, spinach, tomatoes, fish, tofu, grapes , broth, watermelon, green tea, black tea,and of course water. I'm planning on expanding the list if I do this long term. I eat 5-7 small meals a day. So is this safe? I've heard that if I do this my body will start eating my muscle so I've put the diet on hold until I know for sure. If this isn't safe, I'd like some suggestions to improve my diet, like how many calories I should eat. Thanks! (Oh and by the way, I'm a woman if that matters.
If you were to completely gorge yourself with food every day to the point where you were consuming enough food to gain a pound every 2 days, you'd be really really unhealthy and disgusting. Agreed? Well, it's no different the other way around. If you completely deny yourself of food to the point where you're consuming so little, it's SUPER unhealthy and disgusting. It took you awhile to put on the extra weight and it's going to take you awhile to get it off. That's life. Healthy weight loss is about 5 pounds per month. In order to lose 5 pounds per month, you need only cut about 500-600 calories per day from your regular diet. That's like one snack. If you are really serious about losing weight, you have to set realistic goals for yourself. It it not realistic to limit yourself to 500 calories. In order for your body to sustain itself so you don't get sick and die, you need at least 1200-1500 calories per day. You might be able to pull it off for a week or so and lose a bunch of weight all at once, but you won't be able to sustain it and you'll feel miserable all the time because you're hungry and your goal is simply unattainable. You'll probably end up gaining more than you were able to lose. I was able to lose 12 pounds in 3 months by limiting myself to 1500 calories per day. Isn't that good? Wouldn't you like to be the one saying that? Three months isn't really that long. You can do it too. It's going to take dedication and it's going to take time. Avoiding food will destroy your body, you'll look terrible, and you won't learn how to sustain your weight once you lose what you want to lose. Good luck!
So I met this girl in school and I've known her now for a year, and I really like her but she has a boyfriend. Now I'm friends with her on Facebook and I looked at her boyfriend and he looks like a low life, degenerate, douchebag. And I've called this girl sweet names before like sweet heart and stuff like that and she said that's one thing she likes about me because her boyfriend doesn't call her sweet names and I would take time out of my day to talk to her when her boyfriend wouldn't even talk to her when he's watching TV. But I went on one of those sites where you can look up people's info from there email and username and I found out her boyfriend has been on dating site and I know they didn't meet on one because they met in school together. But I'm not sure how I should tell or even if I should tell her at all. I was going to do it anonomysly through a fake email, because she already knows I like her, so I didn't want to tell her straight out because I know how girls think and she will probably think I'm a nut job or a psycho to go that far to get dirt on him and I don't want her thinkin I did I to break them up so me and her could be together. So I need someones opinion on what I should do.
Also
She's 15
He's either 16-18 I don't know because he can drive and I'm not sure if he lied about his age on Facebook
This is a weird situation because if you tell her, she might respond differently than if someone else told her. I've been in a few situations where I've discovered things about friend's and close family member's boyfriends online. It's always a tough situation. You don't really know how her relationship is, just one side. You don't know if she already knows about this and has accepted it by allowing it to happen. Your situation is complicated in that she may wonder if you have ulterior motives in telling her (which you honestly do) and she may end up getting upset with the wrong person (you). I think the fake e-mail route is a good way to go because she does need to know and you don't want it to affect her relationship with you. Make sure you include hard evidence, screenshots, the link, etc. The problem with the fake e-mail strategy is that since it's so impersonal, when she reads it, it might not work. She may want to deny what's going on and not tell anybody. She may not want to believe the faceless paragraph on the screen or may not trust it because it was anonymous. If no one in her life convinces her that it's time to break up with this guy, she'll probably stay with him. It can't be you because then you'd have way too much involvement, which would come back to bite you in the end. She has already stayed with this guy after how she says he treats her so why wouldn't she just accept this too? What you can do to help with this is send an e-mail to one of her close female friends as well. It's likely that her friends don't like him either. The other problem with this strategy is that if she does break up with him and you do end up with her, you HAVE TO come clean about what you did. If you don't, you're no better than the guy she's with. Going behind her back and manipulating her life online isn't a particularly noble thing to do and is really rather cowardly. It's probably the right thing to do if it's what it takes for her to break up with this guy, but it isn't good and you know that. You have to consider the idea that if she disagrees with your methods, she may not be interested in you and you have to be okay with that because at least she's not with him. You risk losing her by getting involved at all. She will have every right to know that it was you so you will need to plan for how to tell her. Be ready to explain why and answer any of her questions. Set a date and make sure that you do it. If you know that you can't bring yourself to tell her, do not do this. Doing something that you can't be honest about would make it so that you don't deserve her, just like the guy she's already with. If you do send the e-mails and it doesn't work, you have to let it go. Do not get very deep into this. Once you've responded back and forth with like, one more e-mail, that's it. Set very clear limits for yourself. You don't want to become obsessed with this. If she chooses to stay with him knowing everything, that's her decision to make and all you can do at that point is continue to be a great friend. If the e-mail thing has started to scare you, another option would be to speak to a close friend of hers that you think you can trust. Explain to this friend what you found and explain that you don't want to be the one to tell her because of your interest. Tell the friend EVERYTHING. How you feel about her, that you were thinking about sending an e-mail instead, really, tell everything. The friend will sympathize with you. She may reveal to her where she got the information from, but she will probably paint you in a positive light. This is the more noble way and simpler way to go if you're brave enough to do it. Good luck!
Question
End of everything i want to die
So this all comes to this , let me tell you readers about me
I'm not gonna mention my name but i really need some help and hope that you guys can give me some :(
Its midnight here and its raining quite heavily , and here i am a lower middle class boy who is about to lose everything he had .
Well i am a university student , even though I am a middle class my parents worked so hard for me to get into the university i am not a scholar guy I'm just average at first year in first semester i had 3 ATKTs and because of that i had to give 9 subjects this semester
I worked hard i did my best there was a time when i didn't even slept well for 6-7 days and keep studying hard
Now exams are over and i need to pass in at least 4 subjects to get in second year and i know that I'm gonna fail cause how badly I've done in my exams
My results are on next month
Plus i hace a education loan from bank and they cant continue my loan if i fail
Worst of all guys I'll drop out of the college
And i couldn't stand the embarrassment of it i couldn't stand look on my parents wyes when they will find out i droped out :(
I know guys results are not declared yet but i know how i done in exams and I'm surely going to fail
And ill get a drop :( i just don't know what to do
I cant stand the shame
I can't sleep in night
My dad got 2 heart attacks already and he cant work for much long and i feel really terrible now i am crying at this very moment
I messed up everything life disent give another chance
MK
You're mistaken about your options. There are ways to continue with school if you fail. There are ways to continue to get loans if you fail. This is a very stressful time for you so it can be easy to lose control and feel yourself begin to spiral negatively downward. It was the right thing to do to ask for advice. My advice to you is this: Don't be a pessimist, be the type of person that finds a way. Talk to a financial or academic counselor at your university. Tell this person what your fears are and ask them what your options would be in the worst case scenario. There are options. There is still a lot of hope for you. It is certainly not the end of everything. You haven't even asked yet. Rather than an end, make this a beginning. Take a look at the link below for comfort. It's a list of very successful people who failed, but persevered. You can and will move past this and be successful in your life. You don't need to be given another chance. Search, find another chance, and take it. Good luck.
http://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/02/16/50-famously-successful-people-who-failed-at-first/
http://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/02/16/50-famously-successful-people-who-failed-at-first/
Im not sure how many calories i should consume everyday.
My BMR is 1589 and i go to the gym 4-5times a week. Im 16 and weigh 73kg right now but im trying to change that. i read somewhere that for leight loss you should consume around 1500 calories but then in another place it said something different and id appreciate it if someone could help me out :) thnx in advance
I like to use livestrong.com/myplate to track my caloric intake. It gives you a custom goal. Then you enter in what you eat as well as any exercise that you do each day. It keeps track of all of the numbers for you. It's a great tool and it helped me lose 12 pounds a few years ago! Then it helped me keep it off. Since you're 16, it would be a good idea to run all of this by your doctor first just to make sure you're being safe. Good luck! :)
Ok..I dated this guy for a couple of months but he was 6 yrs older than me..I'm 16..we were first just friends but then we began to "love" each other. I would go by him everyday but we never did anything really..then we almost did and I stopped him...he got a bit mad at me. He said he didnt want to date me now at 16 because he didn't want me to do things that were not right..we didnt talk for awhile...then he called but we are sort of awkward friends now...I still like him though and i told him but he said he dont want to destroy my life. Should I get back with him? If yes how?
No. He's right. An age difference of 6 years isn't a big deal when you're in your mid-20's or older, but at your age it's too much. Any guy that is 22 that would want to be with a 16 year old, no matter how mature she was to talk to or how much he liked her, has something wrong with him. It's natural for a 16 year old to fall in love with someone older, but it's just a crush and is NOT a good idea for a relationship. He's too far ahead of you in life for the relationship to be meaningful or balanced. Stop trying to pressure him into it and move on. We all have that older guy that we fell in love with when we were young. Let him be that and that only for you. If when you're 22 and both of you are single maybe it's worth a shot, but for now, you're not ready for him yet. You're probably going to disagree and you probably don't understand why, but just trust me on this. You don't want to push him into being with someone who is too young for him. Good luck.
So I've been on a diet for a while and it's kind of spiraling out of control. I use to intake about 1,500 calories a day and then work out and all of that but now I work out and eat only 500 calories a day. Is this bad? How many calories do I need a day? I've tried eating but I just can't make myself because I don't want to get fat. What can I do about this all? I'm a 14 year old female by the way. Thanks in advance!
Yes that's very bad! And I'm sure you know that it is. You don't get fat from eating, you survive from eating. It is VERY dangerous for an adult woman to eat less than 1200 calories a day and probably for you, since you're 14 and your brain and other parts of your body are still developing you need a lot more! I limit myself to about 1500 when I'm trying to lose weight, not when I'm trying to maintain my current weight. You should be consuming around 1800-2000 calories every day. It actually takes an EXTRA 3500 calories beyond that just to gain one pound. That's a lot. You really don't have much to worry about. If you are truly concerned about becoming overweight, a doctor will be able to give you the correct number of calories that you should be consuming so that you don't. I feel as if there are other issues going on here though. You've taken this to the very extreme which is not a good sign in terms of where your mind is at. Talking to someone who knows something about nutrition can help you come up with the right diet. Doing what you're doing could cause permanent damage to your body over something that is a temporarily exaggerated and irrational fear. The good thing is that you're not crazy. You really aren't. It's normal to worry about this sort of thing. What isn't normal is trying to figure it out yourself and going to the extreme as a reaction to how you're feeling. Just because you're growing doesn't mean you're getting fat. You're 14. I'm guessing you're not an expert in health and nutrition. Talk to someone that is if you really want to do this right. You could really mess yourself up if you don't. Things will get out of control for you very fast. You'll want to stop doing this because it's wrong, but the longer you do it for, the harder it's going to be and your whole life will get messed up. That's not what you want. Get help. The only thing that can happen if you talk to someone is exactly what you want - to not get fat. Don't let your brain keep telling you that the wrong choices will give you the right results. Good luck.
It so hard for me to talk about these questions to people in person, mainly because I'm worried everyone will think I'm crazy. I totally feel like I'm going completely nuts, but there's something I can't get my mind off of.
Does anyone here believe testimonies of people who claim to have been to Heaven or Hell? I didn't really in the past, but there are these two girls who claim to have been taken on by Jedus on tours of hell and came back to tell about it. They both say some of the same things, like that they saw Michael Jackson there and children who watched cartoons.
The thing is that these girls messages may actually come from satan, or they may be making their stories up for whatever reason. Regardless, they are causing people to have intense fear about their eternity. They're making salvation seem impossible.
Some of what they say seems extremely random. Like, "Oh, God doesn't like blondes, God doesn't like people who own Chihuahuas, God doesn't like people who drive Ford's." They don't actually say those things, but that's how bad it can seem. Like we're all unknowingly doing things that can get a person sent to Hell. Like no one can know that they're doing anything that will condemn them later. Like we're all doomed and God tries to make salvation as hard as possible.
When one girl was giving her testimony, I thought to myself that if some of what she was saying was true, it didn't seem as if God could be the loving, gracious, and just God that some believe that he is. I know better than to believe that though. I know better than to think that he is a cruel God who likes to see people go to Hell and who makes salvation practically impossible.
I feel like God states everything you are and aren't supposed to do in the Bible, but some of these people say that you can get sent to Hell for things that the Bible doesn't mention and things that you'd never think of.
They claim that dying your hair, painting your nails, wearing makeup, and using perfume will keep you from having any hope of getting to Heaven, but my grandmother did all of these things and, at the risk of sounding crazier than I already do, I know she's in Heaven because she gives us this sign that she is and that she's watching us. I reject that these things will sent you to Hell.
The last reason I don't believe them is because their stories seem to contradict the Bible. For example, they say that they were taken to Hell and brought back to warn people, but doesn't the Bible say that if someone doesn't already believe, they still won't even if somebody comes back from the dead to tell them? Also, one girl sounds very high and mighty and says that God made her responsible for saving people, but isn't Jesus the only one who can save you?
There are plenty of other inconsistencies, but the majority of people seem to believe them. It seems like most people don't believe Colton Burpo, Alex Malarkey, or people like that, but they wholeheartedly believe these people. They say, "I don't see why any real Christian would feel the need to question this." Even though the Bible TELLS us to test these things. It's like people don't want to hear nice stories that give you hope,they only want to hear terrifying ones that make you feel hopeless.
I guess my question is am I right not to believe any of this? And also how do you KNOW you're going to Heaven?
.
A lot of people have a lot to say about what God does and doesn't want, don't they? It's more complex than these being messages from either God or the devil. The world is a complicated place and there are very few things that are pure good or pure evil. People who claim to have been to heaven or hell may just believe that they have because they dreamt it. There are so many different denominations of Christianity, many with different beliefs. Any one of them could be right or wrong. Perhaps none of them are true...but aren't there good people in all of them? The whole point is that we don't know exactly how to get to heaven and are left to our own devices and our FAITH. The only thing that you can do as a Christian person who believes in God is to follow your conscience and what you believe. Live a good life. Do good. Help people. If in the end, when you face God for judgment, you can be proud of the life that you led, that's all that matters and all that means anything. Trying to hack the system and figure out exactly how to behave isn't possible and even if you could it's cheating. Live the best life you can and if you can be proud of the person you become, chances are, God will be too. :) It's hard not to stress over the unknowns of religion, death, and the afterlife. For some reason, people like to make it complicated, but it's not that complicated. According to the Bible, you need only believe in Jesus. Remember how just before He died, He told the criminal who was being put to death with Him that He'd see him in Heaven? Surely this guy lived a horrible life, but was welcomed simply because he believed. Don't let yourself become consumed by figuring out how to be perfect and trying to be perfect. God made you perfectly imperfect. It is impossible to live a life without sin, but that's the great thing about Jesus. Before he came along pretty much nobody got into heaven. Jesus made it so that all you have to do is believe in Him to get there. So take a deep breath, believe, and just try to be a good person. People who say that watching cartoons or straightening your hair is going to send you to hell are completely missing the point and focusing on weird stuff that doesn't even matter. God is much bigger than all of that. When you can get these worldly, insignificant worries out of you mind, there will be room for Him. Good luck!
So my husband and I have an age difference of 22 years, and he will turn 50 soon. I am a soldier and on the tail end of a deployment. This is the first time that we have been apart for longer than a week, and I was really scared at first. Not because I didn't think I could handle it, but because I didn't know what he would do. Early on in our relationship I now realize he was very controlling. Would go through my phone and emails, and interrogate all of my contacts with other men. He always says he needs to feel needed, but it always feels so forced. He quit caring about how he looked, acted, what he wore when I left. He has also gotten lazy and overweight. He gets angry with me because he doesn't think I prioritize him anymore. He refuses to make friends or join a support network while I am away and clings to me for everything. I was first attracted to him because of his strength and independence but now it seems that he is weak and clingy. When I was home on mid tour leave I cherished the moments I wasn't around him because he was suffocating. On top of all of this he is always negative. Always in crisis. Negativity is my huge pet peeve. I talked to him about it 3 times over 9 months then finally gave him a warning shot that it had damaged my ability to care for him bc I couldn't handle it anymore. I cringe to think about going home. Is there a way I can move through this or should I just start preparing myself for the dissolution?
A situation like this has a lot of layers and is much too complex for a person that doesn't know you to examine with a simple paragraph. It is often the things that are left unsaid that are the most important and you can only provide one side. If you truly want an answer and you want the right answer, you need to speak to a professional. Find a marriage counselor in your area. What I can say is that this is definitely not a healthy relationship. If you want to try to make things work, you will need to see a counselor anyway. Find someone that both of you can agree on. If he is not interested and refuses to see a counselor, the decision is clear. I'm so sorry that this is happening for you and I wish you the best of luck.
My boyfriend and I are 17, and we’ve been dating a little over 5 months. Before then, we were strangers. After about the first three months, we've argued almost everyday, sometimes more than once. He is very insecure, jealous, overdramatic, inconsiderate, and he is my exact opposite. Even his brother has told us that before. Our ways of thinking clash... a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm being used. yada yada yada. We break up often, and a lot of times I don't mean it, but he'll pressure me into doing it by telling me to, or constantly asking if we're done until I break and tell him yes. I used to not mean it, but lately I've wanted it to do it for good. I've seen a completely different side of him, and it isn't good. I just can't imagine marrying him while our relationship is like it is. We are too different, and we think different. How will that work if we have kids? Well, every time I break up with him, he'll start crying and apologizing, saying he wants to kill himself (one time he actually cut his wrist in front of me) So, I give him, because he seems like he will really change, until the next day we're fighting again. I do love him, and I can't imagine not having him in my life, but I can hardly take it anymore. What can I do? The future scares me.
Keeping you in the relationship by threatening to hurt himself is either abusive (if he actually would never really do anything) or he needs serious help. Either way, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. It's something that he has within himself. Do not spend another day in this unhealthy relationship. As bad as it is for you, it's just as bad for him to be learning that he can behave this way in a relationship in order to get what he wants. What you need to do is tell him that you're breaking up for good and completely stop talking to him. Block him from social media, texting, everything. The reason why this is important is because he has the ability to talk you out of your decisions by acting pathetic. You cannot allow him to do this again. Just in case he is serious about suicide, the right thing to do would be to tell a school counselor about the entire situation before you break up with him. That way, people will be making sure that he is okay and he will receive counseling if he needs it. His irrational thoughts and ideas are not your responsibility. You are not equipped to reason with someone that has these personality issues so stop trying because while it may seem like you're being nice and helping, you could be making things much worse. So, my advice to you is to tell someone about what has been happening, break up with him for good, and stop all communication with him. You don't want to be with him in the future because besides all of this you say that you're really not that compatible. It's not good that you've continued to stay with him for 5 months, but the real crime would be staying with him for another day. It's time. Do it before you chicken out and continue to help mold him into an unbalanced person. It's not just the best thing for you to get out of this, but it's the best thing for him too. Good luck!
Hi! So just this morning I dropped my contact on the floor of my bathroom and I picked it up and rubbed it with solution and put it in my eye. Could this give me an eye infection? What should I do if I drop my contact lens again? Thank you guys!
You did the right thing. As long as you rinse it off, you have nothing to worry about. I've had contact lenses for 15 years and I drop them all the time. I've never gotten an infection and sometimes I don't even rinse them off.
Is Diamond puppy food THAT much better than the rest? Is it really all natural?
Every brand will try to make you believe that theirs is better than the others and that theirs the one that you absolutely need to use. Whatever makes you feel good and what makes your dog feel good is the right food. Different dogs can react differently to different kinds of food. I went along with what my breeder feeds her dogs. She had years of experience and a good track record. Her dogs lived a few years longer than the breed is supposed to. That could be for other reasons, could be a lie, or might only work for that particular line or breed, but I felt good about what she recommended and did my own research too. This website has a ton of information. http://www.dogfoodadvisor.com/best-dog-foods/best-puppy-foods/ Really though, most dog foods are the same. There are tiers of quality, so if you want the best, you actually have a lot of choices. Don't forget to match the food to the breed, or at least the size of the dog if you're not sure about the breed. I'd say that if the one you're using is working well and is appropriate for your dog, there's no need to switch. We concentrate so much on getting the very best because we love our little critters so much, but it's honestly a waste of energy. Good luck!
Basically, I had these 3friends in 8th grade and I was on a trip. My day was going really horrible. And I saw one of my "friends " was making fun of one of my favorite bands. So, I got really mad because she knew what they meant to me. They had helped me to try to stop cutting and to try to better myself. I was going through such a rough patch at that point of my life. I had no dad growing up and it was being constanly brought up. So, I started getting angry at my friend for saying all that bad stuff about the band. I told her off really bad. I told her "well your dad isn't any better he cheated on your mom. So he must not be content with you. With she replied by saying something among the lines "well at least he didn't leave me. You're pathetic " and so forth. Then, she made fun of my sexuality and about my cutting. That's when I completely snapped becausr she knew I was getting a lot about that at home with family(sexuality ). So I don't know what even caused me to say this but, I said "you're so pathetic maybe if you would be a better daughter your dad wouldn't have cheated on your mom to have other kids" . Then a couple of our friends heard the argument and started siding with her. And we're like attacking me verbally. Saying all this "well don't go home and try to kill yourself you lesbian bitch." to wich i replied "She should be the one that kills herself she's stupid and irrelevant. She is just as bad as me . I am a bitch but so is she . She always brought the bad things in my life. I had enouhht"And I got so angry and this fight carried on for about another hour or so. I just kept at it with them. And it turns out they might be going to a friend's party in 2weeks. I haven't seen them in about 10months. I'm scared about what's going to happen when I do see them again at the party.
You don't want this to turn into another pointless altercation. Showing up in the same place as them could do just that. It's clear that you didn't mean what you said and that you reacted that way out of stress over your own life. You were pushed, couldn't take it, and ended up in an argument over something that you didn't even believe in. The best thing to do is to test the waters. Send a message to the girl that you got in the fight with explaining what happened and apologizing. Let her know that you were wrong, you're sorry, you want to try to work things out, and that you miss her friendship. If she's a friend worth having, she'll respond positively and over time, all will be forgiven on both sides. Maybe she feels just as bad as you do about what she did. Be the one to break the ice. If she responds negatively, DO NOT respond back no matter what. It's not worth it and will make things worse. Think about it. If you send her this nice message and she's mean back, later on, she may look at what she did and feel bad about it to the point where she messages you back and apologizes. You don't want to get in an angry messaging war. It will get you nowhere. Until both people are ready to make amends, nothing is going to get accomplished and trying to force it can set you back even farther. Try to talk to her BEFORE the party. If things go well, go to the party. If they don't go well, it's probably best to tell the host that you can't make it. It's fair to her and it's not the right thing to do to attend a party knowing that there could be drama. Just stand in your own truth and know that as a human, you did make a mistake, but no matter what happens, you can feel good in knowing that you did the right thing in the end. This girl has her own issues to deal with and just because you're ready to make amends, doesn't mean that she is. Her not being ready has nothing to do with you. Maybe she is though, so it's worth a quick, heartfelt, honest try. Good luck!
Basically she has asked me to help her by going through her clothing and removing anything that is not Modest. But I do not really know what I should be looking for in this regard but I do seriously want to help her.
I have broken down into categories but would like to know what I should be looking at or removing with modesty in mind
Dresses
Tops and Blouses
Skirts
Shorts
Jeans and Trousers
Lingerie/Underwear
Swimwear
I would really appreciate any thoughts, Ideas
or advice on this
The best way to deal with this would be to figure out why she wants to do this. It is strange that she's having you help her. Does she want you to pick out the outfits that you believe she looks attractive in or that make you think about her body? Is she becoming afraid that you might pressure her into intimacy and thinks that if you remove clothing from her wardrobe that you believe isn't modest that you won't look at her like that? Knowing the purpose of your involvement is very important. This probably isn't just a style change. If she also wants to be treated differently or if she wants to send out a certain message, you're going to want to know what that message is. I feel like it would be easy for her to go through the clothes herself. Don't just involve yourself in this. If you want to be a good boyfriend, try to figure out her thinking so that you respond in the right way to all of this.
A lot of the time, determining if something is modest or not requires her to put it on. Find out if this is going to be part of it.
Dresses
- When she raises her arms up, the length of the dress should be at or below her knees.
- Sleeves should cover her shoulders.
- Necklines should not drop down in front or back and should be relatively close to the neck. No cleavage should be visible when she leans forward.
-Not super tight.
-No cut-out holes/openings on the sides/back
-All of these problems can be solved by wearing a nice shirt and/or leggings underneath the dress. She shouldn't just get rid of a cute dress. Help her decide which dresses need something worn underneath.
Tops and Blouses
-Should cover her midsection when she lifts her arms up.
-Shouldn't be very tight-fitting.
-Sleeves should cover her shoulders.
-No openings in sides or back
-Necklines should not drop down and should be relatively close to the neck. No cleavage should be visible when she leans forward.
-Layering is fashionable/popular now. She shouldn't just get rid of "inappropriate" tops. She could wear a shirt underneath it, or a jacket over it.
Skirts
-above the knee when arms are raised
-not super tight
-You shouldn't be able to see her legs through the material. If you can, she should wear a slip underneath it.
Shorts
-I have a problem with the "fingertip" test commonly used by schools to determine whether shorts are too short. I personally feel comfortable in shorts with a 4 inch inseam. I think that's a better way to do it. Measure from the crotch to the end of the leg of the shorts. This should be at least 4 inches.
-No holes
-No "skinny jeans". Jean shorts can be sort of tight, but cloth shorts should not be.
Jeans and Trousers
-No holes
-No "skinny jeans". Nothing super tight.
-When she sits down and leans forward, you shouldn't be able to see down the back of the pants. If you can, a belt can fix this.
Lingerie/Underwear
-There really isn't such a thing as modest underwear. There is no reason to try for modesty here. If it's something that SHE wants you to look at, take out anything that is bright colored, is see-through, or that consists of very little material. Sports bras and boyshorts would be most appropriate to keep.
-Try not to involve yourself in this one. It is not modest for her to show you her underwear. Try to get her to do this herself if she wants to, but again, it doesn't make sense. She can wear (or not wear) whatever she wants under her clothes and since no one sees it, it's always modest.
Swimwear
-Modest swimwear is a one-piece with no open holes in the lower back, sides, or front. The neckline should be high. Some one-piece bathing suits rise very high on the side of the leg, up to the hip. If she's really trying to be modest, she should wear a shirt and shorts over her swimwear.
-Swimwear with built-in shorts does exist and it can be cute. http://www.milanoo.com/product/cute-stripe-pattern-polyester-push-up-women-apos;s-one-piece-swimwear-p164212.html?Promotion=ggPLAWomensClothing&gclid=CIy6kI_5pr8CFVFp7AodSBoAzQ
Shoes
Heels aren't very modest. :)
The only things she should stop wearing are clothes that are very tight. Most everything else can be worn without a problem through the magic of layering. Try to help her feel confident in her own abilities to judge modesty and help her understand that she doesn't have to make huge changes in order to be more modest. She's probably short of modest anyway. Rather than getting rid of anything, figure out what can be added to immodest outfits to make them modest and go on a shopping spree for undershirts, overshirts, leggings, and a new swimsuit! This should be exciting and a time of gain rather than loss.
Good luck and don't forget to try to figure out why she wants to do this! A good partner doesn't just go along with whatever the other person wants. A good partner wants to understand so that they can provide even better support.
I am 25 years old and I am a female and I had oral sex for thefirst time ever I have ner fone anything sexual before nowb in my life and I am a virgin . I knowbyou proble dodon't get a lot of women who are old as I am who are virgins asking about stds on this site but iam terrified that I might have aids when I didn't even have intercourse. We were both naked and he ate me out and I sucked his dick and he gingered me could I get aids from letting this guy that I have known since I was 16 do this to me . I know this may make .e sound like a whore but we was only dating a week before he wanted to have sex and I said didn't want to have sex so we decided on oral sex . I am so scared because the other day I was in the shower and I noticed 3 little bumps inside my vagiana and I also have a boil that's kind of grey looking sorry if this is to grafic but I wanted to give you complete detail of what's going on with me so you could answer my question properly. I talked to my cousin about my situation and she said that I needed to go see a gbyon and get tested for aids and other stds . I am so scared. Please help . I made an appointment gor the 10th of my next month and iam absolutely terrified because I don't know what to they are going to do. How do they check for aids is it s blood test or do they actually have to check down there ? Will they tell anyone if I have aids . Please help me. Thank you so much.
Not being a doctor, I can't answer your questions with certainty, I can only give you advice. HIV is not likely going to cause a few bumps around your vagina. These were probably caused by rough touching or were there anyway and you only noticed them because you are worried. It was the right thing to do to make an appointment, but while you're waiting, try to be calm about everything. People participate in sexual activities all the time and things turn out fine. Let this experience change your future behavior, though. Sometimes, people do catch diseases. The risk of getting an STD is real and there are precautions that you should be taking from now on that will keep you from feeling the way that you do right now.
Please educate yourself about STD's. Based on your question, you're very concerned about AIDS specifically, which tells me that you don't know very much about STD's. HIV is what you would have actually caught and there are a lot more STD's out there than just this one. Your situation reminds me of a song, the lyrics being "teenage bride with a baby inside getting high on information". You need to get high on information BEFORE you get yourself into a mess and so you can prevent a bad situation. We fear most what we don't understand. Start learning now.
It may be a good idea to speak to the guy. He's probably not an evil person and maybe he has been tested recently and can share the results with you. The best thing you can do when you're worried like this is speak to the cause of your worry. All you need to do is tell him that this was your first experience and while you have no negative feelings about him whatsoever, you're driving yourself crazy thinking that you may have caught something. Reiterate that your fears have nothing to do with him, but you were wondering if he could help you feel better about it at all. Don't avoid this conversation, it could really help. You felt comfortable enough to participate in sexual acts with him, so you need to be able to talk to him about it. Just be mindful that he may feel insulted that you think he is unsafe, promiscuous, and has an STD. He could take it the wrong way if you're not careful in how you word things. The best way to get information and to not unintentionally insult him is to say that you're worried mostly because it was your first experience and this is new to you (even though that's not completely the case). Do not avoid this conversation because you think it might be difficult. In all likelihood, it will be much easier than you think and it could make you feel sooo much better. You're freaking out anyway, so what could it hurt?
When it does come time for your appointment, be 100% honest about everything. Don't leave out details. Trust me, they've heard all of this before. This link explains what might happen when you get tested
http://kidshealth.org/teen/expert/birth_control/std_testing.html
Do not go in and simply say "I need to be tested for AIDS". Tell the doctors what happened, about the bumps, and let THEM decide what you should be tested for. You're not a doctor and they'll have a better idea about what tests are necessary. HIV/AIDS is not the only STD. There are other STD's that are also very dangerous.
I know that I probably can't make you feel any better, but it's likely that you're just fine. Get through this experience and come out a stronger, smarter person that makes better choices in the future. Good luck!
I'm going to summer camp (first time) for two weeks, not allowed electronics. It's a camp where I will be sharing a cabin with eight girls my age (14-15) and doing activities like canoeing, kayaking, arching, music etc. what do you suggest I pack? and what do you suggest I bring to stay entertained during free time?
Bug spray, extra sneakers, tissues, and an umbrella. Bring a bag for your laundry so you can keep dirty clothes separate from clean. Don't forget pants and a sweatshirt in case it gets cold at night. Extra socks and underwear. A brush to get the dirt out of your nails. Bring candy or snacks if you're allowed. Powdered lemonade mix because you might get tired of water. Are there any crafty hobbies that you're into? Bringing craft supplies will give you plenty to do. Easy card games like UNO can be fun with your cabin group. A big bag of nail polish and nail polish remover for cabin manicures. A disposable camera is a must because you're going to want pictures. Mad libs? A journal is a great idea so that you can write down your thoughts since you can't post them online or text them to anyone! Have an amazing time! Summers at camp were and will always be the best times of my life. There will be so much to do you probably won't even need anything of your own to stay entertained with. :)
My boyfriend keeps insisting on meeting my family. afraid that if I introduce my boyfriend to them they might do something or say something racist. Not all of them are racist, but most are. They say racist stuff all the time. They don't know I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend is an amazing guy around my age and we love each other. He's patient, honest, treats me with the utmost care and respect. He has an accent and his culture is very different from mine.
My family has said racist things about people of his race and some of them think that you shouldn't date out of your race. Even if I tell them not to embarrass me they probably will do it anyway. My grandmother is very outspoken. I know they will all gossip and have something to say. If he finds out they're like that I don't know what he'll do. I don't want to lose him because of my family... What should I do?
The best course of action is to not surprise anyone. Talk with your boyfriend about it. Discuss how the two of you will respond if something is said. Discuss what's okay and what isn't. Talk with your family about it. Instead of asking them not to embarrass you, tell them outright that you have a boyfriend, tell them his race, and tell them that they are not to say anything inappropriate in his or in your presence. Be blunt and honest with them. Bring up things they've said in the past and label them as unacceptable. Tell them what will happen if they don't respect your wishes. Make sure they're aware that you're not asking them to change their beliefs, you just don't want them to say certain things in front of you or your boyfriend. If the meeting doesn't go well, don't get too upset about it. Stay positive and discuss with your boyfriend what, if anything, you should try next. If worst comes to worst, just stop visiting your family if they can't handle it. They should come around as the relationship gets more serious. My family despised my boyfriend and said horrible things about him in front of me, but when we got married, they completely stopped. I'm guessing that they still hold the same negative opinions, but they don't want to lose me or their future grandchildren just because I didn't choose someone that was their ideal mate for me. The mistake I made was that I made a big deal out of it and my relationship with my family was damaged for many years. Stay calm and give everyone as much time as they need to come around. It is a bad idea to wait much longer to tell your family about your boyfriend, because your lack of telling them may be interpreted as shame. Good luck and try not to look too deeply into this or overreact. Above all, don't avoid talking about this with everyone beforehand. The best way for it to completely blow up in your face is if you don't warn people first.
What if a boy says to a girl do you want a cookie?
It's not just something that a boy might say to a girl. Generally, someone will say it to you if you're bragging about something. It's a way of saying "good job", but sarcastically.
I like this guy, weve known eachother for about a year but I'm just now coming to the realization that I'm pretty sure he's just being my "friend" because he wants to sleep with me. Is there any way to get him to actually be my friend? Lately I've been trying to hangout with him hoping we can actually do something instead of it being a make out session. I think I have a decent chance of him liking me if he gets
To know me I'm just awkward and shy and have a hard time being myself/friendly infront of people especially a guy that makes me so nervous. I just want to know if I have a chance atthis, because I don't want to wasted time trying jus to end up hurt. Idk how guys brains work unfortunately.
I'm 18, he's 19.
I'm a bit confused by how you've worded your question. Are you saying that most of the time that you hang out with him you're making out? If that is the case, girl what are you thinking? Of course all he's going to want from you is an intimate relationship if you're giving it up like that. If you want someone to be your friend, don't make out with them. It's pretty simple. You've set the tone for the relationship that you have with him by presenting yourself as easy and making yourself into a sexual object rather than a personality that he might like.
If you don't actually make out with him and I just misunderstood what you were saying, why would you make a statement like that? Do you think that you'd end up making out with him because you're attracted to him or that he'd just have his way with you somehow? If you don't want to make out with him or have an intimate relationship, then don't. If you hang out a few times as friends and it's weird, there's really no harm done. You shouldn't be worried about your situation with him at all unless there's some underlying thing that you avoided mentioning.
Don't think of it as a "guy brain". He's a human with a human brain. I'm sure that you're just as confusing as he is and in the same ways. I mean, I'm pretty confused by you, myself. The thing that's confusing about his brain and the things that he does is that it's not any different from you, it's the same. If you want to know what he wants with you, ask him. If you've been making out with him, how is he supposed to know that you just want to be friends? If you want him to know that, tell him. Almost all of the problems between men and women boil down to a lack of communication. If people would just talk to each other and say what's on their minds in a direct way, we'd all be so much happier. Pretty much EVERYONE has a hard time being upfront with people, it's not just you. Don't use a self-applied label as an excuse to not do something that will make you happy. You could be upfront if you needed to be. Yeah it's tough, but just do it. I'm awkward and I hate being direct with people too, but there are times when we need to do things in life that aren't comfortable.
You may not like my advice and you may disagree with me, but if you can't tell this guy what's up or ask him what's up, you're never going to get anywhere with this. Anything else I could tell you might sound better, but it's not going to solve your problem. If you don't want the problem solved, then fine, but if you really do, TALK. Good luck! :)