about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I'm bulimic and tonight I just relapsed after 2 months of sobriety. I feel really down and I'm really just looking for motivating and inspiring words to get me back on track and to stop feeling like such shit. Anything will help.

Thanks in advance.

The fact that you're admitting your problem is a huge step. Have you sought help from a parent or from a trusted friend or maybe a professional? It would make your ordeal easier (not that it ever will be EASY) to have someone to confide in that won't judge you.

Things will get better.

--Jack
(18/m)

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I am going into 9th grade, so is the boy i like.
The boy i like is in our little group at lunch time, but im not personally close to him. Like i dont talk to him like you would to a bff or somthing of the sort. I tried talking to him one time, but then he accused me of flirting (which really wasnt my intention at the time) and i told him that i wasnt. He told me that he knows that someone in our group likes him cuz my friend told him that, and that was true, a while ago when my other friend liked him. I have no clue if he is actually interested me or im in over my head. I really want him to like me, is there anythink i can do?

I know sometimes if a girl that I liked was flirting with me, I would say something like "oh, stop flirting" when I really meant the opposite. Guys are weird, so are girls. Every guy is different, but a lot of guys say what they don't mean, so it's very possible he wanted you to keep flirting, and he was just saying the opposite to cover something up.

--Jack
(18/m)

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Female. 15. 10th grade.

This is a story back from my years in the Jr. High (7th grade to 9th grade). People think my band director and I had a little bit of a strange relationship. I was close to him, everyone has their favorite teacher. He was mine. He was a sweetheart, he cared about his students but he was stern when he needed to be, he wasn't a pushover. I am now in the Sr. High band which is a lot more difficult due to competitions and all of the practices but one thing my Sr. High band director brings up a lot is how we weren't trained right in Jr. High, which makes me think of my Jr. High band director. I didn't really think much of the way we acted in Jr. High but looking back on it, our relationship was kinda strange. I guess I'll bullet some of the things that stood out to me.

-In seventh grade I didn't really care what I looked like, so I wore my hair up a lot. When I started wearing it down and making it look pretty like curling it, my teacher noticed and said I looked different, that it was nice.

-If I was late for a class, the teacher would tell me to hurry but they would always ask me to do things for them, I would wind up being late but they would never write me a pass because they warned me to hurry. So, I would walk to the band room and my band director would write them for me.

-If I wanted to skip a class like gym or something, he would excuse me from the class by telling the teacher I needed to practice my instrument, we had a concert coming up or something.

-One day at sectionals, it was me, my close friend and my band director. He sat next to me on the right and my friend sat next to me on the left, two seats over, so it was him-me-empty seat-her. I kept trying this part that I couldn't get down and once I finally got it, I was really excited so I was like "yea yea! woo!" and accidentally put my hand on his thigh, in excitement. I had no intention of making that like a sexual move, it just.. happened. He didn't look shocked nor move my hand, I moved it when I actually realized it was there.

-His office is right in the music suite hallway so he always keeps his door shut to keep the noise of the practicing instruments or chattering kids out. I would go into his office to talk with the door shut and the other kids would look in on us.

-He would know when something was wrong with me, because of the way I acted, I'm usually talkative and happy so he knows when something's up with me and he'd always ask.

-He always called me my full first and last name and I would always tell him he can just call me by my first name but he never did. So, one day I said that I am going to start calling him by his first name and I did sometimes and he didn't seem to mind, when we were with other kids, though, he would tell me that his name was Mr. ___

-Playing the instrument I do put me in the first row for concert band and I would talk A LOT because I sat next to one of my best friends and he would always scold us for talking but smile after. Then at the end of my last Jr. High year he said "sure is gonna be quiet without you.. I'll miss it."

-He had since had his first child when I left for the Sr. High and we had always joked that he was going to have a girl and name her after me and she's going to play the same instrument I do and he joked back he would put her up for adoption if she was ever as talkative as me and I said oh pfft, you love it & he would take a second and say "yea, I guess I do. Makes band more fun."

-He would be walking out of the band suite and I would be walking in, say hello to him and we'd stop in the hallway and talk for a few minutes.

-He let me sit in on his music classes (if you teach band or orchestra you also teach music class) and sit in on his study halls and play on his computer.

-My mom said a few times "if you had this relationship with any other teacher, I would be worried about this."

So? Be completely honest, just don't scold me or yell at me if you think we crossed the line. Do you think we passed the student teacher boundaries? Why do you think that we did or didn't? Maybe he just favored me.. do you think he kinda liked me? Thanks!

If there was a line, you got awful close. The one thing that was a red flag for me was when you put your hand on his thigh in excitement and he didn't remove it.

--Jack
(18/m)

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so me and my friend are having a bonfire. we go to different colleges so we have different friends. one of her friends i think is soo attractive and i really want to get to know him. he's coming but how can i flirt and let him know i'm interested but without coming on too strong? i've been told i'm really laidback and chill but i do get really nervous when i really like someone. i know obviously to be myself, i'm not fake. but can you just give me a few pointers? it would help alot and make me feel less nervous:)

Just talk to him and make jokes about things. That's the easiest way to flirt.

--Jack
(18/m)

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So, here's the situation. I'm 15 (starting my junior year) and I started liking this guy at my school who was 17 at the time (now 18 and starting his senior year). He was interested in me, and we flirted and started making out backstage at our musical rehearsals. He told me straight out from the beginning that he does not date girls because he does not believe in relationships in high school, just fooling around with whomever he can. I acknowledged this, but I liked him anyways, and I stupidly thought I might be able to hook him. He kept pressuring me to give him a blowjob and go further, and I finally did. It was awkward and I told him I was done fooling around with him within the next few days. We talked occasionally but basically stopped talking. I initiated getting back together because I still liked him, and I gave him another blowjob. We're friends now and this was a few months ago, and it hadn't bothered me for some time.
I also liked a guy very recently who is 19 and lives in New York. He and I went out on some dates when I was out to visit him, and we went parking one night while I was drunk and he fingered me very forcefully. A few days after he reunited with his ex-fiancee, but he claims he did not intend to hook up with me and get back with her. I regret what I did with him very much so, and he and I are barely talking now.
In both of these instances I was sexually active to some extent without a relationship first, and I am beginning to regret that decision, although I cannot change that.
I think from now on I wish to be abstinent and refrain from hooking up with whomever whenever. My parents are very strong Christians (I used to be as well, but now I am unsure of my beliefs), and this would break their hearts. So my main question is: should I tell my parents about my sexual encounters? And if so, how?
Also, do you have any other advice? Should I talk to these young men anymore? Should I tell them anything specific?

I know this is a lot, and it's been quite a burden to me. I would appreciate just a little advice.
Thank you.

No, you shouldn't tell your parents. It's not worth the pain on either end. Your sexual experiences are yours and private. If you choose to share them, that's up to you, but you don't have to.

Should you talk to the guys? NO! Hell no. Absolutely not. There's no reason to put yourself in a situation that you might feel pressured to return to past experiences, if you catch my drift.

Thanks for inboxing me.

--Jack
(18/m)

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i know of this guy and i think he is soo hot lol. i have a friend that is friends with him and we're hanging out soon. should i ask about him? how should i casually bring it up. i want to meet him soo bad. any ideas without making me sound desperate/creepy lol.

and we don't go to the same school so i've never talked to him before.

Just casually bring him up in whatever way seems least awkward. I'm sure even if you think it's awkward, your friend won't even realize, so it should be fine.

--Jack
(18/m)

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okay. sooo i read your advice to this one girl and i really liked it and i\'m about to tell you the entire story of my relationship (7 months) (things i\'m too scared to tell my friends) and i just wanna see what you say.

alright. i am a fourteen year old girl (freshman) and the guy is a sixteen year old boy (sophomore). it all started about ten months ago when i met him. we\'ll call him jack. (not his real name) and i saw him playing baseball last summer and i thought he was cute. when school started we talked because of a mutual friend. one football game he looked at me and smiled and after the football game we went to bdubs and just talked. after another football game (i\'m a cheerleader) he talked to me and asked for my number. we texted and talked and hung out in groups for about three months and then he asked me out.

I was really really really happy. then one night about a month in he told me about a certain time with his ex girlfriend, and how he had fingered her. i was kinda upset by this but i don\'t really think i had a right to be. it\'s just before we started dating i had never kissed or done anything with a boy and i didn\'t want him to expect anything like that from me. he told me he didn\'t and that he valued our relathionship more than the physical stuff. and i believed him. thing is, i let him finger me. i wouldn\'t say he pressured me into it at all. he would try to slip his hand down there every once in a while and i would stop him, until one night i wanted him to do it and he did. things were fine. about anothere two months later, i gave him a handjob. he kind of asked for that... then we didn\'t go a lot farther for awhile but our relationship started to get really rocky. he would be a complete ass to me sometimes and it felt like all i ever did was annoy him or embarrass him and it sucked. when i went out of town he went out to lunch with this girl kacy. nothing happened, but i was still mad cuz he didn\'t wanna tell me about it. she was the one that asked him and there was anohter guy there but jack and kacy used to like eachother and she\'s constantly flirting with him. jack and i would just fight all the time and it sucked. we almost broke up but he said he was gonna try harder and he did. and things were slowly starting to get better. just four days before he broke up with me (he brok up with me on tuesday) he told me he felt so much happier and that he could tell things were better.

But i\'m skipping a part... a week before we broke up i gave him a blowjob. i didn\'t really wanna do it but i felt almost kind of guilted into it. let\'s just say i\'m really bad at handjobs and i stopped giving them. well he kept fingering me and he could make it feel sooo good. he told me we had been dating for six months and that i should be comfortable enough with him to give him a blowjob. that he felt like the physical part of our relationship was completely one sided. And that made sense to me so i did it... i trusted him when i did it and i wanted to make him happy and he broke up with me in a text message a week later. i don\'t even get why he did it when four days prior he told me how much happier he was...

well its been a few days since we broke up. and i found out that after we broke up on tuesday he alrady started talking to this new girl on thursday. that just hurt really bad... i thought i wanted him back but i don\'t think i do anymore. i just gave so much of myself to this guy and i\'m so hurt right noww because it seems like those seven months didn\'t mean anything to him at all.

i just don\'t know what to do... and i would really appreciate any advice you can give me. thing is i can\'t talk about this stuff with my friends because i\'m too ashamed to tell them that we did all that physical stuff... so please don\'t involve the advice doing that. i really don\'t want to.

Hi.

Thanks for inboxing.

Well, I hope you learned your lesson with the physical relationship, that you shouldn't do anything you don't want to do. Because obviously you regret it.

Don't associate with Jack anymore, because if you do, you might find you want him back, and he obviously doesn't sound like a guy you should be with.

In fact, just stay away from guys for awhile. I'm kind of a cynic, but high school relationships are just unnecessary heartbreak. So, just be single for awhile. I have been for most of high school, and it's worked for me. Doesn't mean it will work for you, or for anyone else, but it might.

--Jack
(18/m)

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Well, I done sort of the same the guy wasn't using a condom but he didn't come in me can I be pregnant? We I was on my period and its finishing up today . What does that mean?

Pre-cum contains some sperm in it, so you very well could get pregnant.

Also, probably wasn't the best idea to not use a condom.

Yes, you could be pregnant. Any time you have sex, you can get pregnant. Nothing is 100% effective except abstinence.

--Jack
(18/m)

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do you have to write the slope in simplest form

It's always a good idea to do that.

--Jack
(18/m)

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in few words, im absouluty in love with this girl. i know she loves me as well. but we split up about 3 months ago. she is now with this other guy. she said she love me and this guy is holding her back. i desprately want to be with her. and she is torn between us two. her current Bf stole her from me. he drew her in by his willingness to rush into a physical relationship. i was a bit hesitant because i wanted it to be specail when it actualy happend. so thats realy it. that wasnt nearly as short as i wanted it to be.

I agree with Razhie. She's telling you she loves you because she's lying to you or she's really mean.

Honestly I would move on. She isn't worth it.
If she truly loved you, she wouldn't have left you.


--Jack
(18/m)

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so, i've known this boy for a few years. we're both 17. we liked each other last year, but we didn't date because i was going through some hard things and i didn't want a relationship. we stopped hanging out as much, and now we started hanging out again. i really like him but i can't tell if he likes me. all my friends (girls and guys) tell me that he flirts with me, but i can't tell. what are some signs that a guy might like you ? even if he's a little bit shy ? and how could i get him to possibly like me ?

See this link. It's a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340


As for making him like you, it's not going to happen. He needs to like you on his own.

--Jack
(18/m)

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21/f

This is a really weird question, I know, and you're probably going to think I'm making a big deal over nothing. I was going out with this guy in a band, and we broke up in December. It was a bad break up and he was really bad to me. Anyway, in the time we went out (3 months) I became fairly good friends with the other two in the band. One in particular I really liked. I recently found out this one has left the band, and from what it sounds like it was under pretty bad circumstances. Anyway I recently found him on Facebook, and I really want to add him. However, I'm not sure if this would be weird? I really liked him and enjoyed speaking to him (as a friend) We go to the same college too, but I haven't seen him around. I haven't seen him since my ex and I broke up. I know it's only Facebook, and people add each other all the time there. I just don't want to make him uncomfortable and I can't decide.

So to add or not add? Thanks

Why not? It's not like by adding him you'll be forced to talk about your ex. Or even talk to him in general, until you're comfortable.

People from my school who hate me in real life add me on facebook (I reject them because I know they aren't my friends), so this isn't as bad as adding someone you hate. You had no trouble with him. I don't think it would be weird.

--Jack
(18/m)

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When am i most likely to het pregnant?

When you start having sex, unprotected or protected.

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So i've liked a guy for about a year now and we've hung out a few times and stuff. well, my friends went to semi and i didn't (prior engagements) and one of my friends danced with him (she knows i like him). Then they started texting all the time and he asked her to prom and she's going!

I feel so hurt and embarassed and ugly and i really dont know what to do. she'll probably ask me to go dress shopping and stuff with her but i think i might cry if i do.

Am i being overdramatic? Everyone is telling me that i am but i can't help it :(

what do i do?

Just because you like him doesn't mean that he's off-limits. I mean, sure, it's kind of bitchy for girls to do that to each other, but it's not like you two were going out or something. Did he like you? If he didn't, he's not exclusively "yours."

I know it sucks, but sometimes you just have to move on and accept that you can't change it.

--Jack
(18/m)

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well theres this guy at my school and i dont know if he likes me it seems like he does but he used to like my friend and i dont want to get my heart broken again and he knows what ive been through with these other guys and i know some stuff about him i seriously dont know what to do what should i do anybody please answer my question i dont want to get my heart broken anymore =*(****

Funny, you never said if you liked him.

If you don't like him, there isn't a problem.

If you do like him, well, I guess if you foresee yourself being heart-broken, it's best to not put yourself in that situation.

There are plenty of "fish in the sea"

--Jack
(18/m)

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h3y h3y im realli stuck becuz well i like this gurl and shes been my best friend since forever and she has a friend who i realli like too.. and i just cannot seem to decidie who i like more..and i dont wanna hurt some1 cuz they both like me wut should i do..am i a bad person for liking both?

There's nothing wrong with liking more than one person. In fact, probably most people do anyway. For instance, I know I do.

But, maybe it's not so much about choosing one and only sticking exclusively with them. Maybe just see your options for awhile, and then make a choice only if you feel like you have to.

--Jack
(18/m)

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I think I'm addicted to having sex? when I have sex with someone I can go for hours and I never want to stop until we're both drenched in sweat and the room is literally a little bit fogged up. I masturbate about 2 or 3 times a day and I can't help but think about having sex like 4 or 5 times a day. Help? Is this bad for me? If its not than I don't rly care but I heard your hair can start falling out!?!? Please let me know if I should stop this and HOW?

Sex is part of being a human being or an animal of any kind. We are designed to want to have sex so that we can keep our species going. Because if no one liked having sex, no one would have it, and we'd be extinct by now.

--Jack
(18/m)

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I need to break up with my long-dist relationship boyfriend. We've been dating 7 months. There's no real reason to break up except..I sent him a pic that wasn't me. I know, I know. I'm too ashamed to tell him the truth, and I'm supposed to be 'visiting' him in a month. I need to end it, what do I say? I don't want to hurt his feelings, so nothing like 'I don't love you anymore' or whatever.

I was thinking of saying something along the lines of my dad disapproves, and I have to end it with you, or he'll kick me out or something. I know, just lying more. But seriously, I just want to get out of this now, it's my own fault and I know now to never do it again. Any help would be appreciated, thanks.

Just tell him that you don't want to be with him anymore. Don't lie. But, I think he deserves to know the truth.

--Jack
(18/m)

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hey 17/f
i've been "talking" to this guy for almost a month now. we text almost everyday for like hours. for 2 days this week we got to go into school late so he called me in the morning for a wake up call (both days) and he asked me to bring him to school (he has alot of friends that drive). he asked me to hang out last night with a few friends to watch a movie and we cuddled and he held my hand. then when we were alone we just made out and he held me and we talked and made out some more hah but he didn't go in my pants or anything, just lots of kissing haha. i fell asleep in his arms then woke up this morning in his arms :) but a girl i met told me he's a player, that's why i'm worried. i might be starting to fall for this guy but i don't wanna get played. his facebook says he's looking for a relationship though..what do you think i should do? like i usually let him text me first (he always does) and i'm not coming off as desperate at all. any opinion or advice would be greatt! thanks!

Yeah, he probably likes you. Go for it if it's something you want, but be cautious since he's known to be a player.

--Jack
(18/m)

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i just wanted to tell you that i love you!

Well thanks. I love you, too. Who are you?

--Jack
(18/m)

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